Invented In A Lab By Dr. Football

[00:00:00] Swallowing elderly dementia patients is not for everyone. Call your doctor if you have unusual life-threatening children or if you like it. Permanent death can be serious.

[00:00:30] Brow, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of- After 10,000 years we finally got levels on the Behringer. Don't blame the Behringer. I always blame Behringer. Did you know that Bar- it's a myth but I worked with a guy's guitar center that swears that there was a Behringer mixer.

[00:00:57] there was such a direct ripoff of a Mackie mixer that if you got a certain error state on the display, it would display the Mackie logo. Honestly, this is the longest I've known anyone to own anything Barry Jern to have it still work. As you just saw, I just had to restart the whole computer because it wasn't talking to us. Well, it's because you're running Linux. You watch your mouth. I was in Chicago last weekend. Yeah, you were telling me. Division 4 Ladies Hockey. Nice. Which in some respects is like watching freshman girls

[00:01:27] basketball but with more neck tattoos. It's not always the most fluidic game you're going to watch. But it was fun. And we supported M's friend. And she's a great person. So it was a good time. And got to watch some pretty exciting moments. So whatever. Had my first Labatt's. Oh, okay. Felt like a real hooligan. Yeah. Honestly, I understand why that beer is popular because I know why it's possible. Because I'm science. Canada.

[00:01:57] Canada. But like, you know, you're kind of cold. Yeah. And that beer is, it cuts. Yeah. It's crisp. It really is. I was like, damn, okay. Maybe these hosers got something. I always thought Bud Dry was kind of Budweiser's attempt at doing a Labatt. God, I fucking miss Bud Dry. There was only one gas station in North County that had it. Yeah. And it hadn't been a gas station I passed on the way home from the Blockbuster I worked at. I think I was probably like the only person that wasn't like 40.

[00:02:25] That was, I mean, almost 40. But at the time I was in my 20s, I was the only person probably buying Bud Dry unironically from that gas station. And it was probably the only Budweiser brewed beer that I ironically enjoyed. I was like, give me some of that Bud Dry. Yeah. And I think it was just a matter of like the name. But why would I drink a dry beer? But it was good. No, it was. It was kind of like, it was like a weird shitty wheat beer that wasn't a wheat beer.

[00:02:55] You know, we're in Chicago. I'm only up there for a couple of days. Came in Friday night, left Sunday afternoon. The Saturday was our only full day. So we're kind of in the city doing some touristy stuff. Went to Chicago Music Exchange, saw some incredibly expensive guitars. Last time I was at CME was, I don't know, before the pandemic, 2019, I think. And their inventory was like high-end and rare. Okay. And then like just a bunch of like normal stuff.

[00:03:25] You might see a Guitar Center and like mid-range vintage and like obscure guitars. So yeah, you might see like a 1978 Music Man Stingray, but they're not trying to get more than 15 for it. There was a couple of guitars there that I'm still a little angry I didn't have the money for at the time. Because I'm like, I'm never going to, well, if I ever find this guitar again, I'll be paying like three times as much. But it was like, oh, wow. That's a really cool V2 Flying V. Super cool age.

[00:03:54] You know, it's aged gracefully. It's player grade. Oh, they want like $3,200 for it. I'm cool. Like it was one of those things where like, I wonder how much they want for that guitar. Like, no, I'm not even going to ask. Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, like, wow, I didn't even know they made it in that color. And I'm a huge fucking guitar nerd. I didn't even know they made them in white. And like, I don't even want to know. But go there, went to Urban Belly in Wicker Park, which is a great little Asian cuisine place. So there's a lot of like stuff that's Korean, some stuff that's Japanese, a couple of things that are like Chinese, Vietnamese.

[00:04:25] It's that kind of fusion. Pan-Asian. There you go. Had some really great fucking soba noodles, a really good matcha, strawberry lemonade. But the thing of that day, and it wasn't hockey related, it kind of stuck with me, is that we had to go see the bean. Of course. And I had made a joke that, well, I've gone my whole entire life without seeing the goddamn thing. Why would I want to do it now? But M's friends were like, they want to see the bean.

[00:04:52] So we go spend 35 bucks of parking off Michigan. Because it's also fucking freezing out. Yeah. Because 40 degrees in Chicago is a little different than 40 degrees here. Lake effect. Yes. Holy fucking shit. And what I hate was like, I was still dressed or I was too fucking cold for outside. But anytime I was indoors, I was fucking sweating buckets. I'm like, cool. Cool. So I'm just miserable, like temperature wise. But go see the bean.

[00:05:18] But as we're walking across Michigan, there's like a guy in a giant gorilla costume just wigging the fuck out to get lucky. The Daft Punk song? Yeah. Okay. I mean, he's just going the fuck out. And we're like, okay. And I see the skating rink. But then I hear something that sounds oddly familiar. I look further to my right. I'm like, oh, it's black Israelites. Oh, no. Oh, no. And I know who they are. M knows who they are.

[00:05:48] But one of her friends, I feel distinctly, has not had a life experience that has brought him near anything like that. And I didn't know how to explain it to him. And I'm just like, you just don't want to make eye contact with those people. You don't even want them to know you are aware of them. Right. Because they will try and get you in some weird gotcha or some weird argument. And they're always live streaming it to some dude gooning to it.

[00:06:20] And, you know, fucking Wyoming or some shit. The Black Hammer guy. Yeah. And his weird fucked up voice. And I was like, also, like, you know, we get to the bean and I'm like, wow. You know, okay. Wow. It is kind of neat. And like all these people, there's like this oddly good energy. Seeing all these people from different backgrounds speaking different languages. Like, look at this fucking chrome bean. And I can kind of vaguely still hear them on the megaphone. And like, just what a surreal experience. Like, here's this thing.

[00:06:49] And I'm also thinking, like, what do black Israelites in Chicago have to say? Right. And then it just got stuck in my head that I'm just like, Mike Ditka was a black man. Invented in a lab by Dr. Ditka. Invented in a lab. By Dr. Football. Yeah. There's a reason why the bears lose all the time.

[00:07:18] You see, it's because they're keeping the black man down. Yeah. You see? It is. Holy shit. I tried explaining how the black Israelites were to a co-worker. Oh, boy. It didn't go so well. Yeah. Because I'm like, because I realize I work with some honky ass honkies. Even though, like, we're just on the other side of the river from where I grew up. Right. And it's like, how can your lived experience be so different than mine? And I just realized, I guess there's just no, like, black people in, like, Edwardsville.

[00:07:47] Well, that's not even true, because I went to college out there. So, let's just. It feels like I work with some guys. It's like, you know, I tell them I'm going to see a show at, you know, I'm going to go photograph a show off Broadway or something. Like, wow, you spent a lot of time in the city. Like, bro, it ain't that far. Oh, there's this mental block that people in Southern Illinois have about coming here. It's like, it's 25 minutes tops by car. Yeah.

[00:08:14] But it is, like, fucking weird to see, like, someone with, like, a cub shirt and, like, yo, what the fuck? What are you doing here? It's like a lot of, there's like a lot of, like, Northern Illinois shit that happens I see at my job. And I'm just like. That's strange. It is. That is peculiar. Yeah. Like, seeing someone wear, like, a Bears jersey. Like, what the fuck? Like, and, like, the new logo. Which the new logo is, like, is that a League of Legends team? Yeah, it's not great. It's not good. It's bad, folks. It's like the Stag redesign.

[00:08:45] You can make it look like a cover of a trapped CD. I don't remember the story. But there was an allegation going around a couple years ago that the guy that was responsible for that was also, like, some kind of, like, notorious sex pest on Cherokee Street. Awesome. So it was like those things, like, there's this call out threat on Facebook. And someone was like, yo, I think it also is pertinent to disclose here that this individual is also one of the people that was behind the redesign of Stag. And I think it had the most negative reaction. Ooh.

[00:09:15] Like, reaction of Ocons of everything. I'm like, all of these things this man had allegedly done to women. But it was like, he redesigned the Stag can. People were like, yo, fuck that. Fuck this guy. Yo, hang him. Well, because there was a Stag brewery in Belleville. That's why I make mention of Stag especially. It's 48 Minutes and Dogs Barking. My name's Jason. This is Brian. We're doing regionalism. We are not black men, but we are terrible little albino minions created by Dr. Jakob. Yes.

[00:09:44] We are doing localism in the opening of the show. Localism. I don't know if that's a thing, but we're doing that. Wow. I'm eating my St. Paul sandwich while having the highest STD rates of any major metropolitan city in the United States. I'm enjoying my toasted raviolis and the largest freestanding sculpture in the United States. Yeah. Yeah. Where's my car? Oh. Oh. Home of the worst race riot outside of Tulsa. Oh. East St. Louis. But anyway.

[00:10:15] I drive past it pretty much every time I leave Illinois, and I'm just like, it's been over 100 years. It's still fucked. Yep. It's pretty cool. It's pretty. Yeah. White people. Yeah. We're great. And Donald Trump's going to make every city look like that apparently. Jesus Christ. It's like Kanye. I don't want to talk about it. All I'm saying is that if I were doing an Ocean's Eleven of people that have killed other people, I'd be breaking out the guy that got Shinzo Abe with a doohickey. For sure. And straight up would be heading over to New York City to get out Luigi.

[00:10:45] I'm putting together a team. We've got to get a guy with hair transplants and a stupid accent. Yes. Absolutely. We're going to hit him with the 3D printed doohickey. Pretty much. Yeah. Also, work with people who had no idea who Shinzo Abe was. Oh, no. Or that he had been assassinated. Had no idea what I was talking about when I said we need to hit Elon Musk with the doohickey. And it turns out, if you Google the doohickey. Baby.

[00:11:18] I was like, those things are like, no way. No way. This is straight up the drawing of the doohickey. It's beautiful. I love it. Personally. It's so fun. We love to have fun. God, what I'm saying is you should marry Elon Musk. All right. And Glenn Beck. Okay. All right. I'm saying. Listen, we also need to let him know that that kid is not a good human shield. It does not provide enough coverage. No. No. Got to get the older ones.

[00:11:47] But they all hate him. I know. So he's kind of hosed either way. What is up dog? I don't really know how to begin this week's What's Hot Classic. So I'm just going to start off the headline. Daily Dot. Exclusive. First of all, not, not, that's not exclusive. But anyway, exclusive. Woke Furry hijacks social channels for right-wing group that published the government DEI watch list.

[00:12:16] McHale Thalen here writing, The old Twitter account for the conservative nonprofit known as the American Accountability Foundation, AAF, the group behind the controversial DEI watch list, was hijacked by a self-described woke furry. And yes, at exposing Biden is the handle. The display name is just now woke furry 69. Amazing. And one of the first things they posted was, of course, Rick Ashley, never going to give you up.

[00:12:46] Rick rolled with their first post. In remarks of the Daily Dot, woke furry 69 stated they were, quote, just a regular person living life. I just figured I would claim the handle El Mao, they said. The DEI watch list website had this whole thing about federal workers. I think we talked about this when it first came out because it had targets on it. Like they literally used the word targets.

[00:13:09] They had a tip line, you know, the AP reported that they got $100,000 from Heritage Foundation, that type of shit. Woke furry 69. Now let's see what they've been posting lately. JD Vance photoshopped to look like the m'lady guy. The bio gay furry, they them, proud supporter of hashtag dark woke, suggestive retweets. Their pinned tweet now is two things I'm very proud of.

[00:13:39] Being a furry, being a gamer. Share if you're a furry gamer. It is someone's wolf Sona playing on a list looking Xbox. You've got... Yeah, there it is. There is the actual meme. It's JD Vance stretched out to look bigger than he is. With the beady propeller hat and a lollipop. JD Vance took his phone to repair shop. Repairer, nothing is wrong with this phone. Vance, then why don't President Trump ever call me? Crying emoji. Because I am too lazy to find this.

[00:14:09] I'm just going to take a photo of your screen. He's going to take a photo of a projector on a wall. It's going to be the most lossy thing ever. It's going to be great. He does not know what a J-Pag is. Yeah, there's one of the characters from Five Nights at Freddy's in front of a neon sign that just says gay. Sex. He's really living life out here. Here's someone with an AI-generated photo of Elon Musk behind the wheel of an automobile with a glass of white wine. Be honest. Is it safe to drink and drive?

[00:14:37] This is the at Elon Musk owed account. It's one of the many verified parodies that are out there. I hate this shit. So, yes. The WokeFurry69 having fun living life. We love it. We also love people fucking with the Proud Boys. Yeah. Now, this one courtesy of the New York Times, which, you know, take it with a grain of salt. But the Proud Boys no longer have control of their own name.

[00:15:03] Under a ruling by a Washington judge on Monday, the infamous far-right group was stripped of control over their trademark, Proud Boys, and was barred from selling any merchandise with either its name or its symbols without the consent of a black church in Washington that its members vandalized. Fucking A.

[00:15:25] In June 2023, the church won a $2.8 million judgment against the Proud Boys after its organization's former leader Enrique Tarrio and several of his subordinates attacked the church in a night of violence after a pro-Trump rally in December of 2020. Yeah. It says the ruling clears the way for the church to try to seize any money that the Proud Boys might make by selling merchandise like hats or T-shirts.

[00:15:50] In a lengthy statement, Mr. Tarrio said the church should have its nonprofit status revoked and the judge in the case impeached. Quote, their actions are a betrayal of justice, he wrote, adding, I hold in contempt any motions, judgments, and orders issued against me. If you ever want to sound like a drill tweet, Enrique Tarrio... Yeah, and like, didn't he just get pardoned? Yeah. Wasn't he also like a government asset? I don't know about that.

[00:16:19] I mean, that's... Well, they like jailed him before January 6th so he couldn't be in the field. Oh, I did not know this. Which is like a great limited hangout kind of move. It is unconfirmed as of this point, let's put it that way. But you'll love to see it, folks. Yeah, fuck them. Though the Proud Boys are probably... Their only real victory was somehow outsmarting leftists in St. Louis. Still! Still one of the fucking... Like, yeah, this is why I'll never go to a DSA meeting in St. Louis.

[00:16:49] Because, like, y'all fucking lost to the Proud Boys. Yeah. Who aren't like the people you saw in St. Louis are not like the people you saw on January 6th. No. They were a bunch of really pathetic, low-level, groiper-ish type dudes that hung out in St. Charles that had girlfriends that were an age younger than them that is concerning. Yeah. And they would go to bars and, like, not talk to other people and just be really weird.

[00:17:17] Danny, friend of the show, did a piece on them for the RFT that is illuminating. Mm-hmm. Of just... And I'm sorry to say, some of the most insane stuff that he told me didn't make it in there, which is a shame. And I'll hold this editor, Sarah Fenske, I'll hold her feet to the fire because apparently she told him that they weren't narcs. But he had so many opportunities to blow up their spot. And, like, actually, I think, make a piece with some real balls instead of one that was just like, oh, look at these fucking goons. Yeah.

[00:17:46] One that would have emasculated them completely. Mm-hmm. Obliterated them. Isn't this why the R... I hate to say it, but it's like, this is kind of shit why the RFT isn't around anymore is because they pulled back from actually doing shit that was super engaging. Mm-hmm. And he was like, well, this is good for cliques. This is... We don't want to do real journalism. Or we don't want to do anything that's, like, aggressive. You know, like, fucking takes a chance. I don't even know how to re-litigate it. But yeah, basically, there was a bar that the Proud Boys hung out in St. Louis in the city on the south side.

[00:18:16] Some local leftist heavy air quotes here. Staged a boycott of the bar, but it was like a bar that no one really went to. Right. And eventually they convinced the owner to put, like, a sign that... Like, an anti-Proud Boys sign in the window. And that shit was gone, like, two days. The Proud Boys came back. And like... Feels like a missed opportunity. You know? No Nazi shit in my bar. Get out. Yeah. You'd think. You'd think. You're adopting this physical language here, Jason, that's concerning. I'm trying to get comfortable. Oh, okay.

[00:18:44] These new mic stands are fucking with me. Like, I don't know where to... I don't know where to put my... Your body? Yeah. Anyways, still, if you want... If, you know, I'll punch down on St. Louis leftists on this one. You lost to the fucking Proud Boys, who were some of the biggest fucking goons. They were the Washington generals of the Proud Boys. Ooh! You want to understand why DeRay was able to derail Ferguson? Nice. You don't really need to look any further in that example. Anyways, what do we got next? Oh, boy.

[00:19:13] So, there's a new Smurf movie coming out. I don't know if you know this. There's a new Smurf movie coming out. We didn't really need another one, but apparently we were... And once they made the porno... Yeah. So, Burger King has a bunch of new toys out for it, and one of them caught my eye. Razamel! Oh!

[00:19:40] I almost want to get one just for the... Can you believe this exists? That's the guy. It's Gargamel's... Some kind of Gargamel relative guy, but yeah. It's a very particular pose when it comes to online anti-Semites. He's got a very long nose, and he's got his hands kind of rubbing together. Yeah, it's anti-Smurf-fiat. Yeah.

[00:20:07] But then the haircut is this really severe black bob. He's got the thick eyebrows. It's like if King is gone, we're Jewish. Yeah. Yeah, here's what you would look like if you were Jewish and Chinese. That's what the toy is! With the pointy shoes! With the pointy shoes! Amazing.

[00:20:32] I didn't believe it was real either until I saw a YouTube video of a guy just playing with the toy. Like, yeah, here it is. No one called foul on this at any point during this at all, because apparently this is direct from the movie. This isn't special to how the toy is. This is what he's going to look like in a feature film. Like, he's Mongolian Jewish guy. It's amazing, is all I can say.

[00:21:01] I mean, sometimes Jewish people have orange chicken on Passover, so I guess it... Yeah, so, okay, I can see it, yeah. Wow, just... Stunning tone-deafness. Amazing. And the character next to it, Ken, just looks like the average poster on Blue Sky where it's like, show your dick off Friday or whatever they're calling it. Fat Cop Friday, sorry, excuse me, I got it wrong. Oh, I can't be a part of that. Pencil. I'm like a roll of it.

[00:21:31] I'm like a container of M&M minis. But yeah, go to Burger King and get your anti-Semitic toys, I guess, is what my point is there. Well, Brian, I guess that means it's time for the crypto scam-o the week-o. You're listening to 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, the podcast. And now it's time for the crypto scam of the week. We talked about it when it was first announced that Enron was back.

[00:21:59] We talked about it with the guys from Buddy Head. Well, folks, the inevitable happened. It happened. That's right. The Enron 2.0 guys launched a coin. It's a Solana coin because, of course, it is. And yes, you can buy Solana with your debit card, apparently. They also, just as a side note, the egg, they announced the egg, an at-home nuclear reactor. Amazing. Just, okay.

[00:22:27] So, according to Crypto Rank, I don't know, you know, again, all these different crypto news sites, but the headline, Enron meme token finally launches snipers crash price on Solana decks. An attempt to relaunch Enron as a crypto token ended in a crash as the new meme token was sniped and sold immediately. The Enron project decided to go the way of decentralized meme tokens but went through a pump and crashed just hours after launching.

[00:22:56] They launched as promised, choosing to start with a meme token and immediately dextrating. The new asset, Enron, had a wild ride pumping and crashing within hours of its trading start. Here's your chart. Wow, that is literally the suicide roller coaster. You're right. Yeah, it went straight the fuck down. It traded at a peak of 65 cents, crashing soon after to its current range of 16 cents.

[00:23:26] They keep talking about the snipers. I don't know. Now, HawkCoin had the same conversation about snipers. Yeah. Is it like sniping an eBay auction? You just, like, get in super quick? Sniper bots, they allow you to do is once liquidity has been added to a contract address, once it's gone live, once it's tradable,

[00:23:49] it's basically using, it's a gas fight to be the first person to buy. Obviously, if you're one of the first transactions on something, you can get a high amount, you can get sometimes as much as a half a percent, two percent of all available tokens. And you're getting that for nothing. Right, because there's no gas to do it, I guess.

[00:24:16] Well, there's, you're the first, so there's $50,000 of liquidity added, that means the price is going to be very low, low market cap. Okay. So as more people buy in, liquidity increases, market cap increases. So all of a sudden, if it starts at like a 50K market cap or something, I don't know why I said 50K liquidity, market cap's a lot easier for this example. It starts at a 50K market cap and goes to 50 million. Okay. Or 100 million.

[00:24:46] Then obviously, you might have spent an insane amount on gas to be one of the first transactions, but you're also up like 3,000%. Oh, jeez. You know? Yeah. So there's some ridiculous amount. So that's what crashed Hak Tua. That's what crashes a lot of things. I have seen and been in telegram groups with guys that have like killed off entire chains for like a month because they were just sitting there sniping anything that launched.

[00:25:16] That had like any like KOLs behind it because this is like, well, this is easy money. Jesus. Yeah. Is the ultimate party spoiler thing. But there's people out there who spend a lot of time, spend a lot of money coming up with custom sniper bots. And they do really well at it. Sure. So not really surprised that something like this, it was super high profile, it was going to have a lot of eyes, a lot of attention on it, was going to be sniped.

[00:25:45] so according to this article though despite the claims crypto traders remain skeptical of enron showing that snipers only had a small effect and it may be some of the insider wallets that essentially rug pulled some of the earlier buyers it says here on chain analysis shows the insider launchers may have also sniped another two percent of the early supply

[00:26:08] so one of those 50 addresses that they sent a good chunk of it too uh it was let's see here it says based on the initial tokenomics enron was supposed to give 20 to the community while retaining 40 for the team 30 for the foundation another 10 for liquidity pools however the current ownership structure is very different and resembles a risky meme token seeking exit liquidity this time

[00:26:33] the meme token community is on the more skeptical side not rushing to pump enron again so we may be that may be it because yeah that chart uh definitely does not look like it's going back up anytime soon uh no that it's uh probably going to be in what they call an accumulation phase forever that will probably be something that when we hit the top of the bull cycle we'll probably pump one last

[00:27:02] time and that'll probably be almost they'll be like a top signal it'll be like this and like dog with hat yeah fucking dog with hat which yeah i heard there was some fuckery crypto they they raised 700k the beyond the vegas orb and apparently that's never happened oh yeah and probably won't ever happen and uh there's really not much else to go other than haha yeah because it's dog with hat dog with hat the hat stays on

[00:27:34] well with all the unpleasantness in this world brian i feel like our audience is overdue for a little bit of good news a little bit of happiness yeah and so this week our main topic is the secret society of happy people in an article from the uh reporter news.com out of uh dallas robert wyland writing this in 1998

[00:28:05] if you're happy and you know it shh there's a spot for you in the secret society of happy people if you're happy but don't admit it because other people don't want to hear it then we're the society for you says founder pam johnson the society founded in august again 1998 in the dallas suburb of irving promotes the idea that it's okay to be happy despite the lack of positive response from others

[00:28:34] that's especially true at christmas johnson says challenging advice columnist and landers on the subject of family newsletters enclosed with holiday cards quote spare us the details of the ivy league schools your children are attending and the honors and awards they've received during the year just let us know in a handwritten note that your family is well and doing something useful said a recent letter signed your cousins in illinois

[00:29:03] and landers responded dear cousins thank you for expressing sentiments that are sure to be shared and appreciated by millions of readers including me in a letter to landers johnson demanded an apology quote to the millions of people you made feel bad for wanting to share their happy news happiness is about recognizing the happy moments in your life not competing with others johnson wrote

[00:29:32] quote happy moments are good things that need to be shared more not less she said landers editor in los angeles katherine searcy said she would pass along johnson's letter and request a reply from the columnist and so that is where the whole thing started creating the actual secret society in irving texas but also the writing of this letter to the editor essentially to to ann landers the website is still up today

[00:30:00] by the way the website does still continue and we'll get to that in a minute we're going back into the history of it though chicago tribune they did a article try happiness in 1999 it says it was updated 2021 now i don't know what they did to update it you know like 12 years later but probably the audio version oh that's true listen to this article but yeah you're right if pam johnson has learned one thing it's that some people hate happiness

[00:30:30] during the past year the founder of the secret society of happy people has been cursed on national television received veiled telephone threats at home and participated in a public dispute with columnist and landers we just talked about that in that last one quote it isn't always well received you tell people about the organization and they roll their eyes back she said but i don't mind the hostility that tells me there's a need for the organization

[00:30:55] the society which johnson says has about 800 dues paying members nationwide will celebrate its first anniversary august 8th with a proclamation of admit your happy day with a reception at johnson's apartment complex in the dallas suburb of copple for 30 dollars a year the article continues members receive a t-shirt a lapel pin a bumper sticker

[00:31:22] a subscription to the society newsletter and a personal pen pal i'm sorry but when i i read when i hear or read about things like this i can't help but think about the achewood application unscramble the word it says rubega yeah and like and the answer field rages writes thanks yeah it does

[00:31:51] i also always feel like when there's things about like being happy and like these positivity things i always feel like there's an expectation that there's something sinister behind it you know what i mean yeah like oh people joking about how mr rogers was in the military or shit like that and he had a tattoo oh my heavens to betsy right that man had that's why he was wearing long sleeves mm-hmm

[00:32:18] not because he was taking off a pair of shoes to put on another pair of shoes which is what fucked me up as a kid was like really why don't you just keep the shoes off well that's true but like you didn't have house shoes versus outdoor shoes no okay i walk around in socks or barefoot like a like a real like real river trash no i mean look i do the same i take my shoes off as soon as i come in the door but it's one of those things where like okay he has house shoes that's fine that didn't bother me so much

[00:32:47] it was the sweater or the jacket replacing the jacket with the sweater just take the jacket off the cardigan yeah yeah you're fine you know if you're that cold just wear the cardigan outside don't even don't bother with the switching with the jacket whatever people were weird back then i mean they're still weird but they're weird in different ways an interesting idea right i kind of i can't hate it too much as cynical and as jaded of a human being as i am i feel like well

[00:33:17] okay she's this lady in her 30s you know motivational speaker wannabe author her whole deal is like you know people should be happy that's fine right yeah that's okay and yet part of my brain is like there's something dark going on here right there's some there's something sinister because that's i think that's just how cynicism works okay so here's the current uh website as it is it's no longer the secret society of happy people by the way

[00:33:47] now it's just the society of happy people because like well why why hide it right all right also secrets oh oh oh the illuminati that wants us to be happy we will eat the bugs and be happy yeah no i get it they did update the website it didn't always look like this but it doesn't feel like a lot has changed because it's very bright you know there's a lot of photos of smiling people here's here's pamela gail johnson founder

[00:34:16] she has since gotten her cpc which is the certified professional coach she is a public speaker author of a book called practical happiness four principles to improve your life oh there's barefoot in her she gave away the feetsies for free that's happiness my man she writes this on the website and this is again sohp.com you can go see this right now way back in 1997

[00:34:46] i wondered where all the happy people hung out well first of all you were in irving texas so that's probably a clue that's not where the happy people hang out it was the height of the self-help movement so there was a lot of focus on what you didn't like about your life after the encouragement of friends and strangers in 1998 i started the secret society of happy people to give mostly happy people their own tribe after 20 years and hundreds maybe thousands of interviews we dropped the secret

[00:35:16] because we weren't really a secret anymore now we're simply the society of happy people and our goals are still the same help people recognize more happiness celebrate more happiness with our three international holidays happiness happens day happiness happens month and the hunt for happiness week and of course learn the secret membership code we still have to have a little fun right now you have to understand something

[00:35:45] my wife is a therapist my wife thank you she's also she knows a lot of people like this the the Pam Johnsons of this world she knows a lot of these people so this this woman's whole vibe is very familiar to me it's also like okay something happened here right there was at some point no I mean a lot of it is strictly as she said so they founded society did the Ann Landers bit

[00:36:14] and then it was a whole thing we're on Wikipedia and we've been on People Magazine and they identified the 31 types of happiness Brian there's 31 31 wow there's just as many flavors it's the Bastion Robins of happiness now they're using the yellow emoji faces for some of these too and I'm like some of these probably do have a weird like sexual meaning but you know or and they also

[00:36:44] kind of sort of look like Ms. Pac-Man a little bit it's sort of strange but you know amused blessed celebration cheerful confident content creative enthusiastic fun giving grateful helpful honorable humor inspired joyful kind love motivated nostalgic peaceful playful proud relieved respectful satisfaction social spiritual successful and valued

[00:37:13] now I feel like we could trim that list down a bit I feel like we could so which one of these emojis do you think is getting the best head spiritual clearly eyes closed although motivated does look like he's just having the time of his life he's got big ear to ear to grin grateful is also about to not confident and grateful are very close to each other yeah one is I think closer to the climax so each one of these has their own

[00:37:42] page let's confident here we go when we're confident people can't rain on our parades because we don't care what they think when we're confident we're willing to take risks because we know if we fail we can pick ourselves up to try again we gain confidence from something as simple as receiving a compliment to something as complex as mastering a skill or subject matter and the countless experiences in between confidence unlike pure ego is humble

[00:38:12] because its goal is to inspire instead of grandstand what are you confident about Brian what are you confident about not much man I have my own bowel movements tell you what I'm confident about my fucking head game anyway wow great congratulations watch out so the FAQ does have some interesting stuff so apparently August is the big month that's happiness happens month August 8th supposedly according to Pam Johnson when the

[00:38:42] foundation was founded that is happiness happens day and the third week of January we just missed it hunt for happiness week the FAQ also asking the important questions do you want everyone to be happy all the time of course not being happy all the time isn't realistic for anyone however we want people to make an effort to recognize and even talk about their happy moments as much as they do their unhappy ones maybe more because happiness is more fun

[00:39:12] how many members do you have thousands of people from 45 identified countries are members why did you start the society at this point I'd say blind optimism when we started the society happiness wasn't part of the cultural conversation like it is today I call bullshit Bobby McFerrin's don't worry be happy was a big hit right around that time but anyway but then when people found out he was actually kind of a piece of shit yeah that's fair so I think

[00:39:41] he was happy but not really a lot of people around him yeah that would make a lot of sense in 2018 when society celebrated it's 20th birthday a reporter asked me me being Pam what have you learned about happiness in 20 years I hadn't really thought about it until he asked the question although we've learned a lot about happiness scientifically speaking happiness is more of a mindset what I've learned seemed to be more about wisdom my code word for age but I think we can be

[00:40:11] happier when we apply what I call the practical happiness principles and that is from the book practical happiness four principles to improve your life 2022 is when that book came out if you want a print version of that 31 types of happiness guide that is available for you on Amazon Kindle version three bucks they do not have the print version of the happiness guide however but they

[00:40:41] do include on the happiness happens day a recipe for pink lemonade alright that doesn't sound bad two cups of white sugar two cups of sugar nine cups water just make it eight make two quarts but whatever two cups fresh lemon juice one cup chilled cranberry juice garnish with mint leaves fresh raspberries and lemon slices yeah I think I could fuck with that that needs vodka

[00:41:12] that's because we're reprobates and that's how that's how we define happiness I mean there's a newsletter you can become a member let's see how much it is to become a member you have to do the buy me a coffee shop of course five bucks a month for five bucks a month you can be a society of happy people member you get the 12 month happiness planner you get the social media member badge member only monthly message quarterly themed happiness

[00:41:41] boosters and then it says opportunity to support the society of happy people on a monthly yearly basis that means feels like maybe there's another layer to this maybe then you can go into sea org and learn all about the ships going from port to port evading interpol where's shelly anybody seen shelly

[00:42:11] people magazine did a story on again a lot of these are from the 90s right when this started here's a photo Melissa hammer pouring a watering can on founder Pam Johnson who's got an umbrella out and is smiling ear to ear there yeah she was a regional sales rep for the Hazelden foundation and became a happy warrior in 1997 while she was running a women's workshop and wanted to empower people to be happy

[00:42:39] she insists her group is not self-help quote we don't tell you how to do it but they do have a newsletter t-shirts bumper stickers and a website that asks quote when did being happy become politically incorrect ah yes politically incorrect the phrase of the time 1999 made its way it was the name of a fucking show Bill Maher had a show right politically incorrect that was his big debate show

[00:43:09] yeah politically incorrect what is your favorite happiness booster from the FAQ sleep if I get less than seven hours for more than a night or two I get really cranky I even find myself crying for the silliest reasons Pam you have depression yep have you ever tried uh quaaludes yeah pretty much it's odd to see something so earnest that doesn't have a sinister hook that doesn't have an ulterior motive right which is why we made the fucking

[00:43:39] Scientology joke because it does feel like a lot of these people who would be part of something like this would have skeletons right because I mean we say this now and like give it a year and there's going to be a two-par behind the bastards there's gonna be like six episode HBO documentary and Pam dug up the skeletons of her neighbors primes for that I think because of I want you know

[00:44:09] I want to ask Pam questions like hypothetically would you rather have your hypothetical son be molested or be a SoundCloud rapper SoundCloud rapper got it I mean okay because then at least they'd make real art oh god damn I'm gonna go not molested personally also also it's a lot cheaper to pay for therapy than it is rehab it depends

[00:44:39] on who your therapist is man have you seen the going rates around here every kid needs a little bit oh come on come on that's like legally if it wasn't bad enough we did the Nazi pedophilia webcomic how are we gonna do this okay I'd be facetious I know I understand that in Minecraft in Roblox allegedly allegedly I think what you're saying is that adversity builds character is what you're trying to

[00:45:09] get yeah oh but I think Pam took it one step too far when she launched part of the site called happier at work Brian yeah okay this is maybe this is the dark side of it happier at work why happiness at work matters point one you'll be at least 12% more productive according to whom how are we measuring this you are 40% more likely to be promoted again according to whom you will take

[00:45:39] 10 times fewer sick days no I will not number four you'll be more creative okay now that one you might but again that's hard to quantify and number five you'll be a better problem solver yes okay I think probably the you will probably take lesser sick days I think that one's actually probably been scientifically proven oh people have better mental health take sure yeah but this feels like this is something that she's trying to sell to employers where she comes

[00:46:09] around to your office because yeah here's the quote happier employees create organizational win-wins they're more productive increase customer loyalty and improve bottom lines let's see here let's see what what she does in this two minute video happier at work live at AACT oh boy oh it's a donkey show a lot of Midwestern wine moms are missing their happy hour to be at this they're doing this in like a fucking

[00:46:39] wing stop or something right behind her is a picture lovingly displayed made of like chicken fingers for a public speaker I'm not feeling all that impressed gotta be honest yeah a little lacking I think there's something there but she's been doing this for 20 years so maybe she's a better writer maybe she's better at her newsletters you know like this maybe this isn't her strength but I think there is something to be said about

[00:47:09] when it comes to work finding harmony and camaraderie right sincerely I think there's a lot of value in that so I'm not saying that there isn't and you know there isn't a space for some an argument or a mindset like this it's hard enough to survive in the world without other people dragging you down I don't mean to cover this in any kind of negative way I think it's truly interesting what she's been able to do

[00:47:38] for the past 26 27 years I am definitely like wow okay the site's still up she's still working you know she's made this into basically her whole life she goes around and does these tours and does all this speaking and happiness is her jam and that's cool I don't care what you say I don't care if she has a collection of tiny shoes happiness is not a bad idea it's the reason why I laugh so much on this show

[00:48:07] because I can't you know like otherwise I'm crying I don't know I feel like sometimes we gotta let cynicism go and it's a crutch it's a crutch it's hard for me no I understand that because I it's hard for me too I spent a lot of time growing up around my grandfather my grandfather was many great things but he was a cynic if anything evident by my sense of humor but

[00:48:37] that's like a thing I kind of like still fight with is there's like like there was stuff today like I won't get into specifics but like god I just sounded like my fucking grandpa you know like what fucking my grandpa could be a real fucking sourpuss I mean I mean I had the same problem as him is like I can be the sort of person that would give anyone the shirt off his back and also be the person being like oh now you're wearing my shirt I can say that

[00:49:12] shirt yeah hey I was wearing it but you asked for it yeah a dumbass nerd look at you got on some other guy's shirt what are you queer yeah what are you gay so to come down from that happiness overload it's shock.jpg and now the moment you've all been waiting for shock.jpg

[00:49:42] just gonna rip the bandaid off and do it this time Brian no preamble no no no getting to know you chit chat this one is one that I have started calling the shocker courtesy of our friends at chaotic k-a-o-t-i-c upload it under the category w-t-f and I'm geotagged as Poland oh of course the actual title is what the fuck shocked anal with taser

[00:50:11] it opens with a naked woman spreading herself she's bent over the ottoman and leaning onto the couch this is obviously in a hotel room the furniture and all but yes there is the cattle prod looking taser thing connected to her b-hole the other one hit her with a doug and then goes back in for a second hit and that's the one that like woo

[00:50:42] it's like a fucking Disney cartoon from the 50s gosh goofy you taste my nethers she kind of spasms just directly into the into the couch it's only 10 15 seconds long but it's just yeah i'm more confused by what's in the core here skinhead girl gets blowjob during party okay well that's not a blowjob that's not a blowjob i mean all right i've seen murder things on cherokee anyway

[00:51:11] yeah i mean but yes polish user potato 21 the comments it's just a test that needs to be done 88 000 views i hate to ask what else is under the tag poland yeah okay that's a good question let's see unlucky ukrainian immigrant is run over three times man shitting on a roof all right let's look at the well you know

[00:51:41] let's see standing on a roof very uh precariously on the terracotta roof cherry pickers up there seems like emergency workers are trying to get him off of the roof he slips and falls whoa whoa whoa he's he's stumbling trying to get okay trying to get away from the guys on the cherry picker interesting there's a guy jogging in the background completely oblivious yeah he goes down between two chimneys and just starts i'm a little

[00:52:11] bummed it ends there but you know what if you're gonna i guess you know what let the imagination run wild yep ukrainian taxi driver assaulted polish woman shits in public yeah so that's that's oh no hold on which one climbing wall without a harness oh boy wcgw what could go wrong yeah it's a pad floor no it's not no it is not no it is not oh no there's a lot of lead up too the longer the lead up is

[00:52:40] you know what see someone get tased in their genital areas wasn't enough i need to see real bodily harm no i don't actually looking for something for this segment i i wound up in an entire thread of indian guys getting run over by trains like oh jesus christ no i don't either the only the only thing i ever liked getting hit by a train was the donkey because it exploded it did a ps1 explosion okay all right oh man he's getting really high up there

[00:53:10] oh the longer this goes on the more oh oh god completely ragdolls wow face down and i'm fairly certain he's not dead not dead but really walking for a minute he got his bell rung really bad um he he didn't land on his feet so he didn't break his legs he did land on his feet he did hold on yeah let's watch it let's roll back to just just and see if i played in reverse he gets up and gets back on his way

[00:53:41] he goes right back up um no he landed oh oh he landed on his chest his abdomen which is yeah because then he bounced he bounces like a dog toy oh oh yeah i'm not really sure what's i'm not sure what's the how you take that you broke some ribs right you got some you got some big bruises probably some internal bleeding oh i mean if your ribs break like that yeah they're gonna jam right in whatever organs

[00:54:11] oh yeah yeah i'm not sure sure how you would deal i mean he lost conscious like that oh he was he was stiffed up yeah you can't roll out of it you're coming down too hard to yeah you can't do something where you touch your feet and roll forward you can't break you just can't transfer momentum like that because your momentum is too vertical there's no horizontal you've kind of not necessarily terminal velocity obviously but you've reached kind of a

[00:54:40] you're you're coming down too fast you're coming down at too sharp an angle i think his flaw because he jumps away from the wall yeah because that's what you do when you have a harness on well again i would have fucking rolled yeah rolled the dice you're gonna go for the broken arm tango of trying to grab one of those other well bits there yeah i've done it fracture your wrist spiral style but i've done it bouldering which is like a third of the height you realize you're losing grip and you see your next move and like yeah

[00:55:10] might lose a top layer of skin better than falling yeah sure that was really uncomfortable that made me cringe in a way i felt nothing okay well good for you what am i supposed to say to that yeah okay there's a sense of terror of knowing that something terrible is about to happen to another person the inevitability of that moment because it wouldn't have been posted if it was just a normal

[00:55:40] climb the very very fact that it was posted somewhere especially somewhere where we just saw somebody get tased in their asshole and their in their pussy hole right at the same time completed the arc i think complete the circuit yep it'd probably be on youtube it probably would be on tiktok it's it's context sensitive you know this particular website yeah i think the thing that's going to stick with me is like how the fuck do you get out of that situation like what's your best case

[00:56:10] scenario like that's what's going to be the brain teaser for me is like how do you walk away from that the least fucked why don't we ask the people in the audience give us a call 314-246-9766 do you know how to survive that he should have tased himself in his butthole on the way down he should take out his personal taser and rattled himself in the butthole get you nice and loose so you don't break anything when you hit the floor yeah it's it's breathbit time then i guess that's just what that means it's time for

[00:56:39] your mom's favorite part of the show it's time for the breathbit so i did finish joker folia do and i enjoyed it it was a nice piece of cinema a little long but you didn't really feel the length music was great i love that for the most part it was non-diegetic it was it was the actors in the scene singing or at least it seemed like it was them singing in the

[00:57:08] scene which always feels nice as opposed to things like that wonka musical where you can very clearly tell it's 80 yard later lady gaga's voice is not perfect in every scene and i think that's kind of it's on purpose yeah she wanted it to be she thinks she seems clear in the in the stuff that's like in joker's head yes but anything out that's supposed to be in the real world she's a little shake here that's very clearly delineated in the film and i think that's a good

[00:57:38] thing and they also do things with color and and certain segments and i think uh it's really a movie that it's about identity right and about mediated reality so it's almost a situationist movie not really but you know a little bit it comes close there's a i mean honestly like there's an argument i think that's an interesting viewpoint to walk away i definitely see identity and like media like yeah okay well when when they're they're saying multiple times you know who am i

[00:58:07] talking to right so in the first film you see arthur become joker and in the second film you see the exact same thing you see arthur become joker that these two parts of himself can't be reconciled and there is forever going to be a distance between them and so there's the self and there's the self that observes the self thank you kierkegaard it's a fucking comic book movie too so of course you gotta have harvey den in there but that's fine it's fine

[00:58:36] i mean bruce wayne's in the first one i know as a kid and i think it's all done the way that's interesting it's almost as though batman is a thing that's just kind of happening in the sidelines where you're really you're more concerned about arthur and and so are the films so that's nice yeah um i mean i do like the way some of the music bits are presented particularly the one where harley's on the piano

[00:59:05] it's his vision and you know and he's like the suave playboy smoking a cigarette on the top of the piano and he's like how he sees himself or idealizes himself and how that's expressed but how in real life he is a victim of circumstance he is mentally ill he is a person to be have empathy for on some level and

[00:59:34] probably on more levels to have pity yeah definitely i feel more pity for arthur than anything else i can't say i understand why people dislike this movie as much as they do well right because there's even a scene in one of joker's fantasy in one of arthur's fantasies of himself as joker and harley they're doing they're doing the song i can't remember what song it is now but they stop they're talking about the one where they stop and she's like come on yeah well you're making it all about you and i feel

[01:00:04] like we're not giving the people what they want right and so like very clearly the filmmakers understand that 2019 joker attracted a certain kind of fan and they are very much not interested in having those people be a fan of this movie no i walking fenix i think did a great job yeah if anything it feels like the movie is let down by the script i don't think it's got more ideas than it has things to do with those ideas

[01:00:34] i don't think there's really any bad performances no no i don't glee you know i love tim dylan yeah just randomly yeah sure this is here's a catherine keener here's you know yeah just well we got we gotta get the incels to watch it well that's true too yeah honey tim dylan's in it oh i gotta see it uh i saw him at skank fest steve coogan yeah but uh yeah steve coogan as the interviewer has that has a few great

[01:01:03] moments early on in the film there's so much interesting stuff happening the third act kind of goes off the rails and i was like well okay how much of this is real because we know that arthur the film the character that the film is the viewpoint of is an unreliable narrator we know that from the previous film where he invented that whole relationship with his neighbor which is explored in an interesting way in the courtroom scenes the character is played by the dwarf character the little man yeah

[01:01:34] he's great in everything he's been in because he's in game of thrones i've seen him in a couple other things like he's in the movie for five minutes yeah and gives a stellar performance and they they use that character to an interesting effect yeah his his testimony scene is what i think one of the strongest performances in the movie it's definitely comes at a of this person the person who doesn't hate author arthur but is terrified of him yeah and

[01:02:03] doesn't know really how to square doesn't know what to do with everything that's happened right because the arthur he knew was a quiet kind guy very much like when you see somebody on the news that just went up and shot up a high school it was a quiet loner right yeah this is the guy that i knew and and he murdered someone in front of me and i don't know how to square this with the fact that i knew this guy and

[01:02:36] sobering moment yes it takes the fanatical it grounds the it takes out the fanatical and i think it grounds the narrative but then he shows up in arthur's fantasy about marrying lee yeah it's like the the pallbearer that's right uh just it's so strange or ringbearer sorry yeah i mean everyone's got something to do in that lee gill yes we got zazzy beats coming back yeah as the neighbor yeah like i said

[01:03:06] steve coogan ken leung you see some of these people and you're like oh i know that guy from somewhere yeah recognizable voices faces the character actors chock full of character actors yeah i'd love to see it did you get my my criticism of like this is obviously la shop for new york yes really distracting yes later on in the film it's definitely more in your face about it yeah that's my honestly that's my biggest complaint with the film yeah no it's not dirty enough it's not

[01:03:35] dark enough not grimy enough to be a facsimile of 70s new york city yeah and it looks too much like 70s la which is a little different type of grime very different type of yes dirty harry versus king of comedy let's say yeah yeah i appreciate its ambition oh yeah what it was trying to do and i still think uh walking phoenix did a fantastic job with what he had what he was given and i

[01:04:05] think lady gaga did a fine job how about you ryan what do you got this week have you played bellatro i have not now i understand that it is a game that is addictive yeah break it down for me it's just poker right so is a is like somewhere between poker and solitaire okay is also a roguelike okay you are given so you have your deck 52 cards correct

[01:04:34] and you start out in a blind and you have a point system okay so you're using like the typical i guess it would be the typical like poker point system and you're trying to say like so your first blind you're trying to get 300 and you have modifiers which are called jokers and you have all these other little things there's like three different types of modifiers that you can do and then you have cards that can be glass cards or they can be they can be glass cards they can be gold cards and they have different properties

[01:05:03] and so on and so forth and it is so fucking good and you were saying you're playing on your phone yeah and get for like 15 bucks okay and it's 15 bucks well spent some of my co-workers were telling me like oh yeah it's super great maybe don't get on your phone because it'll ruin your life like maybe get on your i'm like well i want to get like on xbox because i don't want to sit from my xbox and play a phone and play a game i can play on my phone yeah why take up that screen sure and i was like all right

[01:05:32] but like i kind of wish when i was sick i had this yeah because i didn't feel well enough to like sit at my computer really even well enough to really sit in front of the tv this really felt well enough to lay in bed and bellach would have been great i actually had a conversation with someone today where they were telling me like yeah the first time i i the first day i started playing it i drained my phone from 100 to 15 percent twice jesus yeah this is a guy i would not describe as being a big gamer

[01:06:02] and he was like holy shit was i locked in so it's roguelike what you mean by that is that you get like one life well okay yeah i was referring more to the things that like i think i've seen a bit about like foil packs like special things that you get by beating certain things and so you can kind of power up you have like different difficulties or different modifiers so you have the modifiers are your deck okay and you can get a deck where you can have more joker cards or decks where you have

[01:06:32] more hands per round or more discards per round things like that okay and then you have like so say with one deck you win you you beat you win your run okay all the way to the end so you do that and then you unlock a different difficulty as you up you get into the higher difficulties you get in your in your blister packs or in your foil packs you get more

[01:07:02] specialized cards so you're going to get pretty much plain cards in your decks on the bit on the base difficulty but you get on the first degree of the difficulty then you start getting stuff that's like holographics or foils and they have different modifiers attached to them and it can get really intricate and it's kind of like playing nuclear throne or enter the gungeon in a certain way like a lot of roguelikes where like sometimes you just happen to have that

[01:07:31] little bit of luck and you get the right modifiers you get the right stuff to have a great run and you can really break the fucking game like and I feel like that is the mark of any great roguelike is that like they don't hold you back from having stuff that's like so completely overpowered because that's part of the fun having a run that feels like you're using a cheat code the variables that have to line up for that to happen are so the odds of that happening are so low

[01:08:00] that you should feel you know you should be able to enjoy your broken run as I've had runs of air of the gungeon or nuclear throne where it's like this is fucked a friend told me she told me oh don't play it it'll ruin your life it ruined my partner's life yeah I'm like I don't know my co-workers keep telling me to play but they also keep saying the same thing like it's going to ruin your life until like you figure until it scratches your itch and then you will

[01:08:30] then approach it in a much more healthy way and I'm like that's how it was like I was like I'm obsessed playing this game and then it scratched the itch I needed to scratch and now I I'll play a couple hours a week maybe I fired it up when I came home from work today I'll probably fire up a couple times over the weekend play a round or two okay but but before like yeah I was like three hours I'm just gonna play fucking Bellatro not even acknowledge anything else going on in the world people texting me I've

[01:08:59] listened I got shit going on I got shit going on man I'm trying to fucking I'm trying to get these jokers the correct amount of jokers for the modifiers trying to level up my two pair modifiers you know like all that fun shit my friend she was telling me that she told her partner about that and their partner response is like yeah well fuck up your life and then she told me they then went and started to go play Bellatro oh boy I was hanging out with that friend Monday night for a little bit

[01:09:29] and she told me I was telling her how much I enjoyed Bellatro and she's well you know I'm gonna fucking do it I'm gonna get fucking Bellatro oh boy so after work she bought Bellatro and now like her Instagram stories have all been about like I have cursed my life with like this is like yeah welcome welcome to the fucking welcome to the fucking suck babe yeah I've held out but uh I don't think I held up much longer get on your fucking phone it's 15 bucks oh I know it's in you

[01:09:58] know you can watch the kids while you're playing uh-huh they're teenagers they don't need to be watched but yeah I understand what you're saying and uh it is speaking of the kids though my son has been a big fan of this guy Dave Pilkey are you familiar with Dave Pilkey no I'm not so he did the kids book series is multiple uh he did the one Captain Underpants about the two kids uh Harold and George best friends and they do comic books and they're all hanging out

[01:10:28] being being best buddies DreamWorks did a Captain Underpants movie a couple years back fantastic great movie love to see it so when DreamWorks announced they were doing another Dave Pilkey project based on the book that Harold and George from Captain Underpants wrote called Dog Man I said I've got to see this fucking movie so Tuesday we went out we went to see the movie and I gotta tell you something

[01:10:58] whatever these guys over at DreamWorks that are doing these Dave Pilkey movies are doing they need to teach everyone else who does animation because I'm they're doing shit that is not necessarily I wouldn't say genius right that's kind of a strong word but what I would say is like they're doing things that kids animation doesn't always do which is they're they're taking risks and and being kind of weird

[01:11:27] with it for those of you not familiar Dog Man is again an in-universe comic written by the kids from the Captain Underpants series so this is like it's intentionally amateurish right because it's written by kids but the movie doesn't acknowledge any of that I was fully expecting it to be this like meta thing where like they pop out of the movie and you're like oh it's Harold and George from the last movie talking about how they're this Dog Man comics great now

[01:11:57] it's played 100% straight now you might think that sounds terrible but it's charming enough that it will win you over it's wickedly funny very it's very silly it's a very silly movie it's about a cop who's who has a canine partner and they go to to stop this evil cat named Petey but he actually they accidentally blow themselves up and the only part of the man that survives is his

[01:12:26] body and the only part of the dog that survives is the head and so the nurses at the hospital decide they're going to sew the dog's head on the man's body and thus he becomes Dog Man now in a movie like this you would expect Dog Man to speak like English no for the entire film Dog Man does not speak that is to its credit by the way the people that do speak are mostly Petey played by Pete Davidson

[01:12:54] who I did not expect to be this fucking good the kid who plays little Petey because Petey just Petey the evil cat decides he's going to need a partner in crime and so he clones himself not realizing that the cloning machine the clone still needs to grow up so the clone he gets is like a little kid version of himself there's great little bits they do with animation styles where like in the middle of a

[01:13:21] scene they'll slap together like two or three ideas I don't know it's very hard to describe without you seeing it in action but there's just so much stuff and it all feels very handmade even though it is 3d CGI it still has that chunky feeling of like someone scribbled this on a piece of paper and we stuck it to a wall there's just so much style oozing out of every fucking frame and it looks like it was straight out of the

[01:13:51] books like every every frame looks like Dave Pilkey sat there and drew it for reference which is a good thing it's something that the Captain Underpants movie took a little bit of liberties with but this movie really Hughes extremely close to the source material my 14 year olds who grew up on these books had a blast I did too I was surprised I thought

[01:14:20] there's no way there's no way there's no way you're gonna take to make a movie out of a comic within a comic that's kind of intentionally drawn kind of crappy and make it good they did it that's fucking surprising to me I hope it makes some more money because I do want to see them do the other Dave Pilkey series not the Kung Fu cavemen no no I which was another series he did ook and ugh the Kung Fu

[01:14:50] cavemen no I want to see them do Ricky Ricotta and his giant robot yes a mouse who pilots a cheese powered giant robot he does come back to giant robots a lot in his work the Captain Underpants movie ended with a giant toilet that was a robot well in this one there is a giant mailman robot who fights sentient buildings and also an evil fish played by Ricky Trevese it's

[01:15:20] very silly very fun wow okay yeah it sounds it's absurd it's completely absurd I like absurd weird fucked up shit if you can get past the existential horror of a dog's head on a man's body and just roll with it the movie rewards you with a lot of just it's a lot of heart a lot of good stuff I don't know like I still have a soft spot for the first Chronicles of Narnia movie even though like yeah there's some great stuff in there yeah the World War II scenes in the opening are dynamite there's still that shot of

[01:15:49] them on the mountain that's some of the worst blue screen or green screen of its era yeah still know how they fuck that one up with all the other money that's on display it feels like a reshoot it feels like they had something else then they they replaced it with that it's a shame that's one of the things that I remember the most about that movie is how jarring it's two shots it's two cam shots yeah and they're so jarring of quality for the rest of the movie you're like huh was because they stick out yeah because like all the

[01:16:18] costume work and all the all the prosthetic work they have for Tumnus and and even the that time period CG for Aslan not bad it's still pretty good yeah the witch queen is a great look like aesthetically I think they've got a lot of good stuff going in there even the the designs of the costumes for the kids when they have their royal personas I think that's there's some stuff there when the ice queen shows the battle and she's got

[01:16:45] Aslan's mane yeah on her dress like yeah none of those kids I think have really done anything besides those movies they did five of them did they do five they did a lot of them were straight to video though I had no I thought they only I thought Voyages of Dawn Treader was last one no they did they did Silver Chair and then I think they were working on Magician's Nephew which is a prequel anyway so it's fine yeah it says it was canceled so oh that was announced I'm sorry it was announced that they were

[01:17:14] doing Silver Chair but yes they said oh Dawn Treader was gonna be the end but apparently this year they said they're coming back but who the hell knows I thought they're oh I know they're redoing the they're doing a new version of it you know like whatever that's it's I know there are things about C.S. Lewis that probably screw-shaped letters well I was just gonna say like probably go against like

[01:17:42] what people think of me through this podcast but like I don't know I have a soft spot for it it was one of the few it was one of the few comfort films I put on a blockbuster that no one else would bitch about no you put on Chronicles of Narnia okay sure sick well is that in Dark Knight yeah because Dark Knight also just has like my dogs are hungry yeah Rachel you know just endlessly

[01:18:11] quotable movie oh yeah you want to know how I got these late fees my dad was a real dad was a renter yeah my dad was a real renter and my mom oh my poor mom she could never bring the movies back in time two to three films a night yeah because they really the leafies really fucked you up if you rented more than one at a time I'll

[01:18:39] tell you I had a I had a I had a late fee on fucking Beetlejuice on VHS that was more than the cost of the VHS at the time yeah that's how they made their money people would go fuck I mean I worked for blockbuster very late in that company's existence like a year or two before they finally went on there I worked for them and the and they had late fees or not really every stocking fees yeah dollar 25 yeah they had longer rental fees than they did before I'm sure there was like

[01:19:09] some number crunching that was like you know the five-day or seven-day rental period and a dollar 25 stocking fee like always still making money on that or whatever I had people like wine to like fucking fist fight me over a dollar 25 I don't doubt it man I you know that if you want to know where I really learned how to be a mean person it was that job because like it's like do I make fucking minimum wage I would ask people like I saw you roll up in that Mercedes man you ever put more

[01:19:36] than a quart tank of gas in that you know I mean I would say shit to people where the people be to a guy where the people behind him will be looking at you like god damn yeah oh man blockbuster guys got some spice yeah I you know I'd be like hey man I see you rolled up in that fucking new charger uh with the tires bald like why are you why are you give me such a hard time about dollar 25 you're stressing me I'm like 20 right

[01:20:05] this don't mean shit to me man yeah shit it'll be nothing to me everyone thinks I'm a responsible employee everyone knows I'm fucking not yeah I ain't trying to change I even wore my finest American apparel hoodie right I have no morals I have no spiritual system to guide me they say shoot I shoot yep

[01:20:35] such is the life of the blockbuster employee my man I tell you about the time like I foolishly follow the guy who was stealing from us outside oh no and he was like man you first stop following me and I just without a beat that said what are you gonna do shoot a guy who works at blockbuster and that I feel like that man became enlightened like he's like dude I'm really doing something kind of shitty yeah it really wasn't that like I don't give a fuck it was like one of those

[01:21:04] things like you really gonna steal for like dude we're blockbuster we're down and out it's like stealing from the it's like stealing from the make a wish foundation yes really bro goodwill yeah really what are we doing here no I did have one thing I can see you got kids because you didn't you couldn't I was not able to go because the wife was like oh you're not podcasting I got cucked into not going to get them kids yeah yeah you really missed a great show I believe it last time I saw them it

[01:21:34] was amazing so yeah no they were super good I was unfortunately tired and old so I didn't say as long as I wanted but fucking hot rod circuit were great and that's a band I never thought I would like seeing live I have a way of surprising you yeah I was like because I like revisited some of their music I'm like oh god this this really makes me want to yell at someone in the white belt yeah and I saw them live like wow they fucking they're crushing it yeah you know I feel like they're one of those bands like Bayside where they're

[01:22:01] so much better live oh I had such a such a good time watching hot rod circuit set like they had they were having so much fun because I think they really aren't a band anymore oh they're just yeah they're coming back for reunions they came well they came back because the get up kids asked them and like the bass player is like yeah I like run my family's appliance repair business now like we got like kids and shit and like it's just really cool that the get up kids asked us to do this and like you just tell like they were just beside

[01:22:31] themselves enjoying enjoying the perform you know the ability to perform in front of us and you know they sounded great um it's is weird to see dudes they're like in their 40s singing songs that were obviously written by their no pussy getting ass cells when they were like 19 apparently you got some pussy because you're talking about your kids once once all it took was one time anyways but get up kids are great because they're touring and they were touring behind

[01:22:59] uh their breakout record something to write home about which I think is one of the few records of his era that actually I think is getting better with time it is is llama jamma I revisited it for the first time probably since high school yeah and I was like wow I think I like this record way more now than I did 20 when that record was new yeah and they killed it they sounded great apparently this tour is going great for them uh

[01:23:26] fucking a good got some cool photos I'm fucking it was a cool show soup uh which could say a little later but what I got to see was great they sounded awesome lights were good sounded good great show awesome holy shit like it was like oh wow that was just like front the back like no fat you kind of have to have that when you're doing a reunion show because again a lot of your fans are now old yeah a lot of your fans are I need to get home you know they got babysitters yeah well that's nice the

[01:23:56] show where you respect that that's that's great as opposed to the fucking because yeah every time I've seen get up kids recently because last time I saw them was um the band I was in was playing halo bar after their set and it was get up kids descendants oh wow yeah and so I got I got to see two amazing sets um get up kids just tore through just a super abbreviated set which had most of something to write home about but also

[01:24:26] they played shit off four minute mile I mean shit from like 1997 yeah stuff stuff I never thought I'd hear live uh but yes I'm very sad I didn't see them on this run because my understanding is they played some stuff from that something to write home about album that uh they haven't played live in probably two decades yeah there's a couple songs where I think they they even like hey you know like it's really cool to be touring behind the

[01:24:54] touring behind this record because I know it means a lot to a lot of people but like there's songs on here that we just don't ever really play so you know hey two thumbs up on that one fucking five bags of popcorn and a white studded belt I guess that means that it's time for us to tell people where to find us on the old internet Brian where can they find you well you can find me on Twitter at

[01:25:22] ishockydeborn I-S-H-O-T-G-Y-D-B-O-R-D uh Instagram a music photographer if you want to check out my photography portfolio it's assholemusicphotographer.com um if you want to check out the last and only good media website left in St. Louis you head over to theartsstl.com and Jason yes you can find

[01:25:47] me a number of places as video crime v-i-d-e-o-c-r-i-m-e chances are if there is a video crime that's me I'm the only one who uses it because it's an obscure reference to a David Bowie side project called Tin Machine there's a song off their album you can also find me as part of a podcast that's not this one called submitted for the approval of the midnight pals there I play a fictionalized

[01:26:15] version of horror icon Stephen King I believe this coming week is going to be the oh the Little Red Riding Hood was just the last episode we released and it is extremely horny it is the horniest episode I think we've ever released the big bad wolf is described in the episode as and I quote giving really great oral so oh wow so do

[01:26:44] that thing it is a midnight-pals.simplecast.com or search on your favorite podcast app for submitted for the approval of the midnight pals or just midnight pals we're about to have the interview with a vampire episode which is also excruciatingly horny I think it's our horniest season yet Brian I mean which says a lot if you did interview the vampire and it wasn't horny exactly right but you

[01:27:12] can also do a lot of things to get in touch with this show my personal favorite is the telephone 314-246-9766 that's 314 ahoy poo if you like to spell your telephone shoot us an email Jason at the number for the number eight minutes of dogs barking dot com or Brian with a Y at the number for the number eight minutes of dogs barking dot com you can support the show patreon.com slash for eight

[01:27:40] minutes of dogs there you will find all the special little bonus content like thanks I hate it which is the post show hangout mind zone which is where we get real freaky with it and the punishment tier you haven't decided what the punishment tier is yet for this year but if you get it early your vote will be counted we're putting out a poll kind of giving you the punishment tier folks control over our lives what is gonna be punishment tier this year last year we

[01:28:10] watched an excruciatingly long puke fetish video called Garrow monster home delivery and commentary tracks the whole thing you can listen to it if you join the punishment tier patreon.com slash for eight minutes of dogs well that about does of the show I'm Jason that's Brian as we always say at this time namaste good luck give mommy a good gut fucking 25th amendment now who ate all the

[01:28:35] pussy and eat that motherfucking knife yeah fucking 26th amendment hereะ Thank you.