It's My Turn With The Lathe of Heaven

[00:00:00] Tabuscus Lover46, Love You Tabuscus says, Tabuscus really wouldn't struggle like you did. Alright. Thankfully my man Ryan had my back, reminding the people that I'm playing this game with a USB steering wheel. Thank you Ryan.

[00:01:12] Hey it's a dogs barkin', I'm a sub team walkin', and this is my co-ho here, we too low. We can't dip into that same joke twice, I swear to god. I have some very expectations. I know. Jeez. It's 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, I'm Jason, that's Bryan. Yeah. Oh son, I'm fanning myself, it's so warm.

[00:01:36] Yeah, this dang old Midwestern humidity got me posh. Let me have a little sip here of this bush light lime. You know, lime ain't half bad. That just tastes like a really weird Gatorade. Yeah. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up my prescriptions right after work. And there was, it was very like old as fuck like St. Louis Hills white couple. Okay. That kinda like just butted in front of me.

[00:02:02] And they did my least favorite thing is when you walk to the grocery store you immediately stop and just like, no sign whatsoever. Just like, you're just like, it's like slamming all your brakes in the highway. Right. And you look at the first thing and the husband is like looking at some other shit. He's already gone off. Yeah, yeah. He's like a fucking dog with dementia just trying to find that nearest tire that crushes skull. Yeah. And she just goes, bud light lime? I ain't ever seen that before. And I'm like, yeah. Yeah.

[00:02:31] I got, like, I got shit. I gotta pick up these prescriptions. Like, yeah, that's cool. Can you not do that in the middle of the main entryway? Can you move? Yeah. Can you move? Guess what? You ain't gonna be seeing your grandkids much longer either cause you're gonna be dead. Now, guess what? They're gonna have plenty of bud light lime. You ain't. That's right. At your funeral. The homeless man died of starvation but there was bud light at his funeral. What are you gonna say? Yeah, what are you gonna do? Yeah. We truly live in this society.

[00:03:02] We do indeed. Oh, Jesus. I know. We wanna get this moving forward. We do! So, it's time for the best part of the show. It's What's Hot Classic. These are the stories that you might have missed. Or if you didn't miss them, you probably wish you did. We're gonna start with my least favorite story. We've talked a lot about Pump.Fun on our Crypto Scam of the Week segment of the show. So, this time, they're doing something incredibly stupid and also... Probably... I don't know.

[00:03:30] There's probably gonna be laws about this. It's called Pump.Fun.Go! Brian, have you heard of this? Have you seen this? Yeah, it's basically like, well, if we did The Running Man... Yeah, or there was this movie called Nerve. Very similar idea. You can pay or bet someone to go do whatever stupid thing. And let me tell you, some of the stuff that's on there is pretty bad. So, the video, by the way, is from Twitter. 18 million views on this thing and I'm adding one more to the till.

[00:03:56] What if you could pay people, it says, over a photo of a rich guy in an airplane, to do anything? So, he's posting. He's posting! And then someone, somewhere, is putting on a Tung Tung Sahur costume, grabbing a baseball bat, and they're clubbing each other in what appears to be a UFC ring. These are clearly AI videos of people running around in Fall Guy costumes or somebody doing a... Boomer soy jack? Yeah. The boomer run game.

[00:04:24] There's a right chill house on somebody's house in Sharpie. Someone diving into a fountain. And it's boundaries for creators, sculptors, whatever. But it's not. It's bad. It's very much like, what if Fiverr met Jackass? Yes. Not like a funny way, but more like a destructive, self-annihilistic way. Yeah. Organize a neat march through NYC. It's currently trending for 14,000 for the bounty.

[00:04:54] Get Elon Musk to say, I love Dog X. Host a best butt contest IRL. For 312.9k butt coin. Uh-huh. Interview random people asking for toes ratings. $5,000, which is 500k of toes coin. Be kind to 10 strangers for 75 soul. Okay. But the rest are like, tattoo speedrun to 1B on your forehead. Teach Ronaldinho how to build an FCM team. Woo!

[00:05:24] Get the ticker bounty work tattooed on your forehead. Quit your job on camera. So, here's the thing. A lot of these I could either make happen or socially engineer. How do you collect the... That's the thing is like, so what if you did it? What if you quit your job on camera? What happens is that you do the thing and you submit, and then whoever is doing the bounty chooses among the submissions. Huh. I don't like that. No, it's not great.

[00:05:54] Um... So, then on the payout side for this potentially anti-social behavior, then like it's subjective who... It's incredibly subjective who gets it. Mm-hmm. So, hmm. There's just something going on there that I... Not great. Yeah, it all sucks. Cause like the idea of doing like jackass fiver, I'm not necessarily opposed to. But, knowing that this is crypto-based, got crypto nerds. The one we were looking at like quit your job on camera.

[00:06:25] Mm-hmm. That video, the post was like, it's a young black guy. Like he's not getting it. Hey, like come on. The internet's too racist. Like I'm not saying that he doesn't deserve it, but possibly. Yeah. And you're also getting paid in the meme coin that's relevant to the bounty. So, you're getting paid in dollar sign NEET, N-E-E-T. Yeah. Which could be worth nothing. Right. Really, depending on liquidity. If you're getting paid in Bitcoin or Ethereum or Solana, sure. But I think the only one I saw there that I know that actually has any liquidity is Bitcoin.

[00:06:55] Right. So, Dexerto, of course, wrote about it. The headline, Viral website lets you pay people to do whatever you want in Black Mirror style bounty platform. There is, I think, a Black Mirror episode about this. There's a Black Mirror episode about everything, so sure. I think so. Or similar enough. Sometimes, if you have the right amount of cash, you can pay people to do things for you. Well, that's now a lot easier after Pump.Fun revealed a new site aptly labeled Pump.Fun Go.

[00:07:21] The site essentially lets you create a bounty, set a reward, and allow anyone who wants to complete that task for you. What's more, there is no limit to the amount of money you can offer. And according to the site, quote, anyone can create or complete bounties for any tasks. So there are no restrictions on what you can ask someone to do, though Pump.Fun, quote, moderates, accepts, or rejects submissions.

[00:07:41] New bounties have users tattooing their foreheads, buying strangers groceries, covering themselves in watermelon for $950, applying for jobs. Yeah. Taylor Lorenz wrote this on Twitter. There we go. Well done.

[00:08:08] Thormat, they're their own friends, because bottom line are set up with clean-up trash in your neighborhood while shouting Bounty trash. $100. Yeah. Ugh. However, while the bounties are certainly mixed with positive and negative instructions, plenty of fans are cautious comparing it to Black Mirror and the film Nerve, which I mentioned, which both had similar premises. Spoiler alert. They both do not end well. No way. with every similar site, where you can pay people to do things, there's bound to be a mixed of good and bad bounties for now though pump.fun has some truly wild tasks for people to complete

[00:08:37] dexerto that is not the stunning condemnation i was expecting frankly i can understand someone being a little uh misguidedly optimistic until like that first thing that happens it makes you go what the fuck you know i think that's kind of uh kind of where we're at internet wise i would say you know where else we're at internet and culture wise is that people are arguing over a

[00:09:02] man in a banana costume complex.com has this story the headline hardcore band end it tells fans to rip off fans banana costume concert goer responds jose martinez writing a couple days back a man in a banana costume has sparked discourse after akil godsey frontman of the baltimore hardcore band ended instructed the audience to remove his outfit during a recent show the incident occurred at the lithuanian house in toronto friday june 5th godsey called the man in the banana costume up to

[00:09:31] the front of the stage asking him fuck are you doing my n-word you don't get rewarded for doing that shit he continued he wanted the attention and now he has it someone else in the band can be heard chiming in and now everyone here has to kill you godson offered end its set list as a prize if someone could quote strip the banana the costume was quickly removed here's a video from twitter user at is not brain some asshole wore a banana costume to an ended show in toronto he posts the lead singer

[00:10:00] called the guy at the stage called him an asshole told everyone to rip off his costume it took like 30 seconds quote you wanted the attention now you have it here's the clip banana guy banana man comes what's going on man fuck are you doing no no no no no no no you don't get really old to be a banana you don't get rewarded for doing that shit no no no no no not good he wanted the attention and now he has it now everyone here has to kill you now and now if you strip the banana you get this lovely set list

[00:10:27] i'm just saying he was asking for attention now you got it pack it in um i know i still got a set to play my phone um fuck the idf free palestine but wait song's called 21 i don't like a lot about this i do think it's funny that they're stripping up an animal of his costume while guys go like

[00:10:56] fuck the idf yeah that's definitely but so i joked like i guess these guys have never been to a punk show in st louis yeah you know because like uh punk shows in st louis are uh i forget the who coined it but someone used to call us nickelodeon punks i think i think definitely like 10 some odd years ago that was definitely like a thing and really what people were talking about was like the precursor like

[00:11:23] egg punk which is yeah the the stupid fucking subgenre that caused lumpy from lumping the dumpers to stop doing lumpy lumpy that like no i don't want to be considered to be like the godfather of some dumb genre that's you know used to fucking pimp shit on pitchfork it was also the precursor to people wearing beanies to death grip shows and just dumb shit yeah i think what it is is uh irony and people not under because the thing about irony is you don't unless you have someone sometimes

[00:11:53] you don't know of like oh so are you being like sarcastic or cute stupid or are you being earnest and a lot of cases all three of those are bad or all of those cases are bad and like the first photo i saw i didn't see this person at the death grip show even though i was there the first photo i saw someone wearing like a beanie at death grip show was the st louis show at the factory and there was someone waiting in the merch line and it was a thing and there's a couple different camps on this and

[00:12:20] i'm of the camp of like yeah this is like that part of hardcore which is just kind of recreating the structure of larger society where you're on top instead that's exactly it which is kind of why i don't fuck with like a lot of the punk shit in st louis because i think it's exactly that yeah it's uh i want to be the guy i want to be the bully yeah it's my turn it's my turn with the lathe of heaven well the guy in the banana costume did take to instagram to complain about this rightfully so

[00:12:49] his name is scott and he did post this uh about the incident his post starts with just talking about the band and like two of your band members cross the line and i'm obligated to speak on it he says people have been trying to dim my sparkle my entire life it sucks but i'm used to it i've surfed hundreds of peoples in this suit all genders all ages safely especially a lot of first timers that felt safe to approach me for their first surf at end at baltimore two of your band members

[00:13:18] cross the line i'm obligated to speak on it fuck the police while policing what people wear take off hoser lest you forget they were in toronto and yeah there's a photo of him uh in the banana costume at a different show and it says the message last night conform or get called out exactly the opposite of what hardcore is supposed to be i was an unwilling participant attacked and clothing removed at the

[00:13:44] direction of a band i paid to see what would you do man he's in a tough fucking spot because he isn't wrong but the structure of punk particularly hardcore is don't be a white bitch right and so uh homeboy uh you're the bitchiest bitch that ever damn bitched at the bitchcore show at the same time there's a few twitter posts in response to this i thought were constructive right some people saying

[00:14:12] uh rufio d rush writing here old head punk here people have been wearing dumb costumes to show since forever definitely 90s and beyond the punk scene supposed to be a place to express yourself however you want if you're not hurting anyone it's no one's business luke luke is i'm grand funny how nobody did anything about it till somebody told them to rip his banana costume off herd mentality at its finest as annoying as the banana costume people can be it is easy to just ignore them and not let it bother

[00:14:40] you vx underground continuing on i don't understand why would anyone care what someone is wearing i don't necessarily signal them being histrionic to me it gives the appearance of someone wanting to be goofy and having fun derek derek d's here on twitter since when is hardcore been about policing what other people wear as long as they're not nazis this guy is just in a banana costume how does this hurt your feeling so bad and a lot of that same type of output you know i definitely i'm on the fence i

[00:15:07] think i think okay they're annoying but there are annoying people everywhere and there have been since the beginning of people existing i mean there was a guy here in st louis that was dressing up and going to show us as jesus right he was pretty harmless yeah and he wasn't like he just dressed up like that was he wasn't like trying to really throw any more attention to himself other than like hey i'm dressed like jesus right like he wasn't trying to like he was dressed like jesus with the king

[00:15:32] diamond uh face makeup wasn't that that was one of the things yeah yeah so i mean i've seen him and it's like okay that's there there's that guy yeah he's yeah he's not like dancing daniel or be old bob or something right and the banana man apparently is like a known quantity in toronto he's like he goes to all these shows in the banana costume and the baltimore guys were the ones who made a thing about it i don't know i they're harmless to me i just it's fine it's again it's

[00:16:00] one of those things you're like i think the i think the banana guy thing is annoying i don't know if like ripping that dude's costume off is funny or warranted but at the same time like being right and how he complains or brings attention to it unfortunately is never going it's just like you're just fucking damned if you do damned if you don't because hardcore dudes are

[00:16:22] like the the most fucking fiddly hypocritic oh yeah dudes in the world you know this yeah it sucks i always thought it was really funny like as a photographer getting like assaulted at shows because like why you know i don't know who you are and all that and then like you five dipshits who i've never seen before are trying to say i'm a cop when you're the only five

[00:16:46] motherfuckers in this basement that don't know who i am so huh huh but it's always funny he's like oh i can't believe brian seller was at this show blah blah blah it's like yeah all the bands love my fucking photos right the bands were so stoked i was there yeah so like what some person with like mold teeth and a trust fund has to say not really important yeah someone yeah someone on their

[00:17:10] feminist facebook group correcting someone i'm here at hiroshima i've told you that story right yeah yeah god just like imagine you're at hiroshima where they where we annihilated 100 000 people to be like actually the the way you're post you're talking about uh black lives matter sounds like very uh all lives matter and that's not cool and i'm here at hiroshima and you're just like why don't you just fuck off yeah no this person's like a fucking lounge singer in key west or some of course they are

[00:17:40] uh it's more like hiroshima because i'm centering women's voices it was it was a heavy flow date our last story on the what's hot classic it's just fun uh it's a video on tiktok from a guy called dads on farms it's 23 seconds long and it is just full of the most upsetting

[00:18:05] facial expressions on people i've seen in a while oh you've never seen these before i've never seen these before this is apparently a hog training thing yeah it was these two corn-fed americans making these really intense faces while they're guiding these pigs around and it's just completely unnecessarily intense yeah it's home versus show no i'm not saying that like i've seen

[00:18:31] this before i don't disagree but it's also kind of weird to be like oh this is coming back around is it okay yeah but yeah it's like hog training well yeah i understand hog training but there's just this is like the faces that these people make i'm going back through the same guy's video dads on farms and it looks like just i don't know movie villain faces some real like kubrick stare type shit that they're yeah while whipping a pig in the face beating the show this pig you ain't going the right way boy

[00:19:01] getting mogged by the other pig slapper the pig slappers the like dubstep the dubstep nirvana remakes got me yeah apparently this is karis who's the the the daughter and then crew who's the son first of all both children's first names begin with a k the pig's name is dusk and the other pig's name is bellagio so i'm guessing because these are pretty tight shots yeah that there's like like something

[00:19:30] they're supposed to i think like the person who's directing the hog has to be focusing on and not break eye contact with and showing that they're they have spatial awareness and directing the animal without breaking that's my guess it's one of those old-timey things when like bread could kill you oh that's that good bread it's that good bread got a little something sweet bob gray you don't

[00:19:56] roll found you in a dish eating that moldy bread can't be directing no hog around bob gray yeah this is just like a really weird like k-pop fan cam yeah of his own kids that's the other part is like this is clearly their dad yeah that's again like i said there's there's probably something that they have to keep their eye on that's like part of the while guiding the hog the hog yeah first of all guiding the hog that was the alternate title for the show

[00:20:32] it does it does sound like one of those like christian retreats you hear about which is really just like for for dads to abuse young women through through the guise of uh scripture yeah not great uh but i just i could not stop watching it the hog train fan cam yes of your own children this is very clearly their dad running this account yeah i don't know it's just something unsettling about the way they're not blinking and the way they're just like staring the kubrick stare and just

[00:21:01] whipping this pig in the face just tapping it uh stop hitting yourself it's very like stop hitting yourself energy stop hitting yourself hey pig hey pig stop doing that but you're not even looking at him yeah it's just old ultimate pig mogging well prepare to pig mog some crypto scams it's crypto scam of the week time you're listening to 48 minutes of dogs barking the podcast and now it's time

[00:21:27] for the crypto scam of the week courtesy of intellectia ai ever seen this before crypto news apparently syscoin bridge bug leads to minting of five billion unauthorized sys tokens so apparently a validation bug and syscoins bridge infrastructure has led to the minting of approximately five billion dollars you got that crypto bug in you how board.com gives us explain the syscoin bridge hack june

[00:21:55] 2026 rob benke writing the syscoin bridge hack was made possible by an error in proof validation and the platform's bridge infrastructure the bridge relay process accepted an invalid proof allowing the attacker to withdraw five million sys on the utxo side without performing a burn transaction on the neavm side they basically exploited a parsing error in the code which is responsible for proof

[00:22:21] validation so instead of creating fake but valid proof which should be infeasible they just created a fake proof that was structured to take advantage of a flaw in the code minting five billion sys tokens which were then distributed across multiple wallets the minted tokens were at the time of the hack worth an estimated 10 million dollars project coordinated with various exchanges and partners to freeze the minted tokens so apparently they got their money back this was uh femex writing

[00:22:50] syscoin announced that the tokens compromised in the cross-chain bridge attack have been returned syscoin team is currently verifying the details the attack reported on june 8th involved five billion sys and then the bridging service was suspended oh it got nerfed get good noob what a nice little well what happy ending to this story that they exploit the bridge of some service that i guess

[00:23:18] didn't have money or no one really used this seems like there's a lot of utility in their exploit sys fell seven percent according to yahoo finance it was trading near point zero zero zero one six that's 16 one hundredths of a cent so yeah gosh so like one sys is like one stream on uh spotify i wish not great but you know not i don't know i feel like of all the crypto scams this one

[00:23:47] was found quickly didn't really benefit anyone because the funds were frozen i don't know it just feels like didn't really have much of an impact frankly a lot of juice behind it well yeah and like as a story well you know sys is trending up okay you know it gained a couple percentage points but it's still at point zero zero zero two or something you know it's like not it's not a big mover it's not doge it's not but coin a big shrug from me dog i know crypto scams i mean if you're going for it

[00:24:16] fucking go for it hit somebody big but i think the reason why a hacker would choose somebody like sys is because they're not worth a lot right so you can exploit them for a moderate amount of money and hope to not get caught well they did i don't know uh feels like crypto scams are just they're getting a little flat kind of repetitive and i think really what it is is that among other things a lot of the same grifters a lot of those same players that made their bones in crypto

[00:24:46] or people that missed the boat or didn't people that are addicted to scamming grifters whatever they moved on the ai yeah and i think that is a very fair assessment because like web 3.0 was kind of not a non-thing the real dud though huh yeah meta the metaverse like there were so many things with the metaverse that could have been neat were it not for the crypto aspect for a lot of it

[00:25:16] crypto land oh fuck crypto land dude we can't you can't do this you can't bring this back i know you can't bring this this this tainted knowledge back into my brain i'm sorry well you know what is great twitter at least it was when it first was a thing twitter was one of my favorite places to hang out one of my favorite places to do things i wasn't very good at it wasn't much of a poster i was posting about what i had for lunch you were one of those uh what's for lunch kind of guys i was a lunch

[00:25:42] poster yes sir yes i learned it from day crew and on fire yeah twitter was some wild because like you could tell like the people that really had uh odd ambitions that now are normal like there was a guy here in st louis and he booked shows he did some stuff that we were both involved with but he was always like had like a next thing yeah and one of them was i remember he had he adopted a

[00:26:10] cat and made oh yeah it made a twitter account for the cat i think also like an instagram and maybe a foursquare account and the same guy also was petitioning lion's choice to make his yeah custom sandwich which honestly uh sounded like a good sandwich hmm they i think they kind of fucked up by not officially entertaining his his configuration i get a small fry every time i get that same

[00:26:39] sandwich and i make it that way because i taste it i was like that's good yeah it's the right way to do it it's pretty much the platonic ideal for a lion's choice sandwich no but i'm talking about specifically someone you reminded me of lately and it was one of the all timers all timers in twitter history now we're not talking about drill sadly no we're not talking about drill we are talking about

[00:27:01] however some of you may know the bye bandit aka utility limb at utility limb on twitter here is a something awful front page article written by john hendron at fart the headline is a slightly better list of funny twitter people the first page is seems like just about every other site these days is publishing a list of must follow funny twitter accounts naturally we do the same thing in a way

[00:27:30] via the twitter tuesday feature oh that's right something awful did have the twitter tuesday feature but i felt it necessary to call out a handful of devastatingly funny twitter folks who tend to fly under most radars and only onto the screens of nerds like myself who spend too much time on the thing we've all perused those lists on other sites but most of the ladies and gentlemen you're about to see aren't found on other sites because they're a little too obscure too niche play a little blue or are just

[00:27:57] outright vulgar at times something awful has all those things in common so it's fine so as to avoid it he did say that he's avoiding any something awful writers on page four along with i am colin quinn for some reason uh he did include wood muffin they post here ladies call me dodo eggs because i haven't been laid in over 300 years at sixth grade forever he did uh pimp this one there's a post how about this

[00:28:23] let's assume that none of the furniture can withstand a devastating elbow drop and then we won't have to test it out anymore at dr peter thrift the post men as you fall asleep with your partner rest your hand on her vagina and whisper i will always protect you but to me utility limb being the last one on the list is fine because the post is so great at utility limb he says formerly known as the bi bandit no idea why he changed it follow this guy and lots of surreal stories encapsulated in 140 characters will be

[00:28:51] your reward when slash if he returns from his self-imposed pre-tweet 666 exile and we'll get there but the tweet john hendron chose is pretty good anyone hear about this new ipad j leto pauses anyone here anything at all j wanders the desolate cities even the wind is gone 140 characters and you have given me post-apocalyptic j leno yeah i mean there was this moment in time

[00:29:18] where it was like fart by bandit drill uh patricia lockwood oh yeah dog boner still one of the greatest strategies is db going back and erasing all of his good tweets yeah for sure a gentle breeze yeah discount cauldron no power aid for usa god who was the guy that was saying that he was donating

[00:29:42] money for abortions and greg w howard's name and greg w howard like doxed him it was like a really weird thing google sucks so bad i can't find it these days yeah someone copied all of utility limbs posts into an easily read text format why well it's motd.co this is casey calderup full stack developer they had done a post about in july of 2013 about creating a program that would just spit

[00:30:11] out a utility limb post on command and they called it a utility limb fortune this is the 10th of july 2013 at motd.co i love at utility limbs so much as should anyone who likes funny things happening on twitter the collected tweets of the ulim account are so great and it's fun to browse through the collection

[00:30:36] but i was thinking how nice it would be to just have a random one pop up almost every one of them is gold so any one of them would do thankfully the unix environment has had the fortune software for 30 plus years and as for finding a good time to show me a random utility limb tweet why not every time i opened a terminal window so yes now with a little bit of programming every time they open a

[00:31:01] terminal window here comes a utility limb tweet here's this one in the screenshot front side of flyer how to keep wall street occupied in 72 point font back a lot of cool activities and in parentheses mazes puzzles coloring plus kids menu how to keep wall street occupied here's another one anchorman highway traffic halted by a 17 car pilot listens to earpiece

[00:31:25] correction halted by a serpentine scarred pylon hashtag ominous events uh ominous events one of the og twitter hashtags for weirdo for the humor side for the the weird twitter weird twitter yeah was uh utility limb that wrote the one that wrote the tweet that's like uh fluent with ruby and python but i can control any snake with any type of gem yes the tweet in question it reads as follows

[00:31:50] programming skills primarily ruby and python but i can use any type of gem to control any type of and yes they do reference that recently so that was fun uh but yeah there's so many great tweets from from utility hell dude motd compiled them all into a text file and so this is what we're going to be using for a good portion of this episode there's a random one i pulled up here let's see here best

[00:32:17] selling stock photos man crying bugs by feet man crying legs submerged in bugs man crying up to neck and bugs just bugs for each retweet we will donate one discomfort snake to jace testane's vital tubing next time he is this tardy upgrading monster killers all new threadless tees got a pic of you wearing a shirt with the same

[00:32:42] pic on it in each recursion you're 20 years older with 20 more teeth threadless if you remember was a t-shirt company based out of chicago all their t-shirts were mostly okay there was the communist party one that gets ripped off all the time where it was all the great communist thought leaders who were hanging out drinking beers i think marx has a lampshade on his mark's has a lampshade yeah yeah uh yeah i think like when the dudes from like marvelous three or whatever was uh something hannah

[00:33:12] some m.y. not nyc but some chicago like indie punk dude was a part of it he gave me a bunch of shirts one time it was weird yeah a couple of them were for um startups that i'd never heard of dingle that like i guess like threadless had done some like screen printing for oh i'm sure that's what it was yeah and i never heard like i looked them up and they were one of them was like a supposed to be like

[00:33:39] like the cool gps app not this uh mainstream bullshit the killers-esque apple maps ah this is for this is for real ball knowers oh yeah what's funny is that occasionally utility limb will get a shout out in weird places the new york times for example hey now this is in a larger article

[00:34:03] about jaron lanier's book who owns the future and it says lanier isn't the only writer to so vividly imagine a cloud-based social network dystopia however a now dormant twitter account utility limb occasionally wrote hilarious tweets as though from a future hellscape where a totalitarian government and social networking have become indistinguishable a couple of favorites and this is the utility limb

[00:34:27] from 2012 attention facebook friends it posts every time you read those news articles also why are you all reading the hive masters hourly commands the next tweet authority has given you plus f in freedom points for category obedience for more info please open computer to visit governet the only website the intent is comedic the article continues but of course these are only tweets exceptional tweets

[00:34:55] but they seem prescient now that we know about prism which is the nsa spy program of course all that private spying can't go on without larger consequences whatever technological dystopia awaits us is at once hilarious and mortifying to think that the road there might be paved with asinine status updates cat pictures and listicles so for a while there utility limb went quiet on their 663rd tweet was actually 666 but

[00:35:21] oh yeah there's a twitter updates and things like that a couple tweets got cold oh which upset some people yeah because they're like it's not really 666 tweets anymore so many of the histories of this do mention that they stopped before their 666th tweet in a post about drill and weird twitter writer alex mcdonough talked about utility limb mysterious twitter accounts have a history of disappearing without

[00:35:46] money recognition or fan engagement utility limb's identity remains an enigma as does why they stopped tweeting right before their 666th tweet which if you want to know let's see this is the this is the tweet wow tweet 666 coming up oh damn it's a sick tweet new era for you limb new style better than dogs

[00:36:08] better than hell dude here it comes colon and then never posting again brilliant well never posting until correct i'm getting there um but regarding hell dog there is a post that's sick as hell dog later at veterinarian sorry hell dog passed away last night why wasn't i with them the guilt will never leave a lot of posts about dogs actually pouring muscle milk on the curb outside of a gym yeah stop

[00:36:39] stop pouring out muscle milk 40s to honor your fallen bros curb outside the gym dangerously swole and veiny impossible to navigate can't believe the hateful ignorance at this osama as in osama bin latin death party i am not a baby bald eagle the diaper isn't part of the costume

[00:37:07] yes you put the moth back in mother's day but please take it back out sunlight unable to penetrate the mothosphere our crops are dying dogs they call me three wise men because i brought treats and keep asking who's the good boy yeah just like a all-time tweeter you know this was the era of teen dad 13 yeah just lots of people hopping over from like something awful ryers and posters lafayette folk

[00:37:34] there was brendall wow yeah two red chairs referring to a guest we had on within the past year at mabute cancer diagnosis much more fun before realizing doc had said oncology not our ecology hashtag hyper tower hashtag sprawling techno ziggurat all right driving through seemingly abandoned town

[00:37:59] you notice every clothing store has signed declaring 80 wide 500 long pants all sold out hashtag ominous events we could have used this one in our review of back rooms sleeves of every shirt sold at mall have no opening connect together like ouroboros mall exits just lead deeper into mall hashtag ominous event that was around the same time as the back rooms post but yes we did not hear from utility limb for a good

[00:38:25] long time until what was it 2024 2023 at utility limb returned to blue sky utility limb dot b sky dot social going by the name natty winters now we don't know of course if that's their real name or whatnot there is a natalie winters who is a right wing not job so that's fun someone mentioned that they're like oh yeah they essay-o-proofed their name by calling themselves that like i don't know about

[00:38:53] that natty winters reappeared on blue sky and their bio says stay tuned for wet mystery at teledendron.bsky.social now teledendron apparently is a comic slash game that they're making with some other folks with a company they made called hot brain a hot brain dot land the site is no longer up but when it was it was described as follows hot brain is a new independent game studio founded by

[00:39:23] max schwartz winter k utility limb and natty k winters well now we know natty winters and utility limb are the same person but hot brain some of the folks in that had done the games we know the devil heaven will be mine and goblet grotto goblet grotto fantastic if you've not played goblet grotto it's so fucking weird it's so weird if you thought west of loathing was weird i don't know man i don't

[00:39:48] really understand goblet grotto but i had so much fun with it well my favorite was heaven will be mine if you don't know about heaven will be mine it is a queer science fiction giant robot visual novel it's fantastic it's kind of like what if gundam was really really queer but also well not not nearly as gay as this is all i'm saying is like it's just it's really great i love i have a big love for visual

[00:40:15] novels that are also mecca stuff so gotta love that uh yeah but that was written by avb mia schwartz doing art alec lambert doing music and pillow fight games doing the big tech stuff there's just so much cool stuff in that if you haven't played it itch.io has it for you pillow fight dot itch.io actually but the hot brain site went down and haven't heard anything about this this game

[00:40:41] or whatever it is that they were working on and so all we really got is posts from utility limb which is which are fantastic they continue to excel at the posting game and then these really odd mock-ups maybe or maybe screenshots or maybe just drawings from teledendron here's one where it's an empty treasure container saying nothing a light bulb dangling from the ceiling what appears to be a chain

[00:41:07] attached to the wall not hooked on to anyone and the text reads whatever you thought was going to happen is canceled and and then it cuts off so it seems like they're doing just weird art stuff which i love in their new composting configuration the bigger events like grover house may endure but there are so many beautiful little posts lost to time like the goon who believed smoking weed made driving safer because it let him see a few seconds into the future then that guy die i'm pretty sure he

[00:41:36] did yeah yeah couldn't see enough of the future to avoid dying but here's from almost a month ago utility limb posting listen up lefties if you get out of the pool you're admitting defeat to the big diarrhea dog turd floating in the pool it was from uh from again a month ago guy posting joke that will immediately get him banned the mods need a wedgie imo failed united states congressman replying to a 22

[00:42:01] month old post by a teenage t girl who censored his name so he couldn't name search it bitch boy you better shut the fuck up before i do a grave of the fireflies to your ass here's another prescient one you idiot the guy in that x.com screenshot was obviously doing satire have a little respect for the users of dr mengela's child pornography and crypto scam doxing depot the assassin was radicalized on the website for

[00:42:26] people who keep putting off their colonoscopy couldn't be me i'm scheduled but um oh wow i just realized oh yeah there was a assassination attempt on the president about a month yeah just how little we think about that because like i don't know dude it's just it's weird but whatever whatever natty whatever uh utility limb is doing now i wish them the best they've they've got some all-time tweets here's a

[00:42:51] few more distant smoke tweet alert coming of lizard ones yell for at grok and at thug return to cave beg spirits that bone rights protect hashtag primeval twitter predicted grok well grok is like a reference to what's a reference to like to grok something is to understand it i think it's a douglas copeland thing but heinley excuse me robert heinley you're right but no grok as a tag right

[00:43:18] grok as a as a caveman name grok as someone you could good news terrifying figure discovered beneath mall just a mannequin not a dead body bad news not a dead mannequin hashtag ominous events i do love the ominous events that's it i mean it was a giant pillar of wasp eggs oh god that was also the era of people saying that she died getting stung to death by a wasp oh no for costco guys of course we love the colossal pillar of wasp eggs

[00:43:50] yeah that was piss cop hello fellow human teens i heard the coolest place for us teens to hang out is the colossal pillar of wasp eggs let us go do not bring weapons yeah that was hey girl let me see your boobs sudden ancestral memory surges of the proto boob jelly breast splits in binary fission to form first rack damn they're all pickle beer oh yeah i could go on all day about uh utility limb although i will leave it with

[00:44:19] this is a response to at bro pair oh bro pair do it allah will forgive any sin except shrek wonderful way to end it yeah i love it collects rib eye ring heart and nail of saddam wolf a horrible night to cast the curse

[00:44:44] oh six hundred and sixty something tweets all for you i will drop that particular text file in the link to the show description because it's just too fun to read through the history of utility limb i'm so glad they're back posting haven't posted in a minute but i'm sure you know they took breaks before well brian i guess that means tell people where to find us on the old god damn internet gosh dang if you want to check out my twitter account i'm going to be a

[00:45:11] account i've had since like 2008 or something you can check me out over at uh ishotgidboard i-s-h-o-t-g-u-i-d-b-o-r-d and you can find me under the same handle over on blue sky the uh uh i'm with her echo chamber new rule i'm with her it's her turn it's uh hillary is 44 oh it's uh it's harm reduction

[00:45:43] taking a come down bit about jeff goldboom saying stick it in my ass to make it about vote blue no matter who people i think is top notch looks like uh someone wants there to be a chio in the white house i'm a real talafrico uh steven uh uh so why don't we go uh pokemon go to the polls

[00:46:11] and i can vote for a woman i'm just chilling in cedar rapids yeah but the whole like i'm a talafrico oh god that bothers me anyway anyways so i know i shot gidi boer over on instagram not instagram over on twitter blue sky instagram amusic photographer uh if you want to check out my portfolio of will curate foes of people with their mouths open you can go over to uh

[00:46:41] asshole music photographer dot com uh and you can go over to artsstl.com for the last and only give me a website left in the screwy saint louis yeah i got a sub stack but i'm not gonna promote this time me neither i don't i don't promote mine at all i haven't written anything on there in like two years so it's fine yeah but you actually like wrote something a couple things and then i gave up because i wasn't getting any hits well you can find me a number of places including twitter and blue sky twitter and blue sky both of which there i am video crime

[00:47:10] v-i-d-e-o-c-r-i-m-e i don't post on twitter except for announcements about episodes which is as it should be because you know life's better on the on the side with all the the blue dog mega nonsense i'm also part of a podcast it's not this one it's called submitted for the approval of the midnight pals i've seen some season three scripts i'm very excited see two seasons full wait for you at midnight-pals.simplecast.com search anywhere podcasts are sold for midnight pals uh there

[00:47:38] i play a fictionalized version of horror icon stephen king by the way it's very funny very funny there's a musical episode in the way in the works well you can contact this show in a number of ways my personal favorite is the telephone 314-246-9766 that's 314 ahoy poo if you like to spell with your telephone shoot us an email jason at the number 4 the number 8 minutes of dogs barking dot com or i am with a y at the number 4 and the number 8 minutes of dogs barking dot com support the show patreon.com slash 4 8 minutes of dogs bonus episodes all sorts of really cool stuff there

[00:48:07] waiting for you yeah you know what you guys if you get to the punishments here maybe i'll fuck a ham sandwich hey nice also a little bit of news about the show we have two amazing weeks of guests coming up right in a row oh shit we've got charles from a lab series and the following week we have june and caleb from kill the computer gonna be appearing on the show uh we're gonna be talking with charles

[00:48:37] about temple os i think it's the training missiles test no very different we might that might be the kill the computer episode where we go to the training missiles test but uh just a little preview for you it's gonna be exciting i'm very i'm personally very very excited about both of those shows so uh that's coming soon for you but again patreon.com slash 4 8 minutes of dogs because then you know how we do we do a bonus episode right well we're gonna be doing a bonus episode with our guests just like we did for uh our good friend mobute aka jeb lund

[00:49:06] and we also did for tom from the anime sickos and basically every guest we've had since we started uh getting rid of the uh the shock.jpg so yeah which is just when we turned off every guest yes every every guest was like uh i don't know i'll i'll email you back i'll yeah sure guys uh-huh uh-huh yeah i'd love to come back on uh-huh well thank you all uh we will see you next week and as we always say at this time namaste give mommy a good go fucking 42nd amendment now 45th

[00:49:36] eat the knife 45th 25th 25th 67 69th amendment 67th amendment go go go go yeah all those words um and remember the spay and new your local wine mom it's true bye bye