Episode 88 : Shouldn't Have Had That Pink Tartar Sauce (Bonus Episode)

[00:00:00] The prohibition on a married person having sexual relations with anyone except Dennis Prager may be for many people the most consistently difficult of the 10 commandments to observe.

[00:00:11] The reason shouldn't be hard to guess, one is the enormous cost of Dennis Prager. It can be very hard especially when an attractive Islamic terrorist makes him or herself sexually or romantically available.

[00:00:30] 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking,

[00:00:38] Brown

[00:00:44] Brown

[00:00:45] 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking,

[00:00:51] Brown

[00:00:59] Are we doing this thing?

[00:01:01] Yes, sir.

[00:01:02] What's up, boss?

[00:01:04] Mr. Alex Jones, yes, what's up?

[00:01:06] Let me ask you something here.

[00:01:09] Jason.

[00:01:11] What would be a three-band bill where you would be is all but guaranteed that your friends would have to carry you out of there.

[00:01:26] Living dad doesn't matter, are we talking about currently or what?

[00:01:32] More currently if they've broken up maybe if they've broken up in the last 10 years.

[00:01:38] We could do a reunion show or whatever.

[00:01:40] Sure, or we could say that you've at least seen them live for.

[00:01:43] Okay.

[00:01:44] Ultimate fake book.

[00:01:47] Pup and Jeff Rosenstock.

[00:01:52] If those three were on the bill I don't think I'm surviving the evening.

[00:01:57] I don't think I don't think I would definitely be turned.

[00:02:02] Yeah, absolutely.

[00:02:04] I was thinking like natural child, ex cult early the original lineup.

[00:02:15] The original lineup torn off that first record which I think is still fucking golden.

[00:02:21] If I were going to go with a local band just to throw a wild culture.

[00:02:24] Sure, sure.

[00:02:25] The OG lineup of dad, Jr.

[00:02:27] Okay.

[00:02:28] Well, seeing that I was those three are still kind of touring and active.

[00:02:32] Well, dead, Jr.

[00:02:34] No, I'm saying my three are still touring and active.

[00:02:38] Ultimate fake book have since gotten met together.

[00:02:41] I think they're working on a new record.

[00:02:43] So if we're going all time smoking popes there's still everyone's not putting something out.

[00:02:50] Humm.

[00:02:53] I mean, my ears still have not recovered from seeing home at the galaxy in 97 shout out to Ken Superfan of the show who was there with me and who also has the same amount of hearing loss from that fucking show.

[00:03:04] My first one hearing loss is from actually seeing Trail of Dead.

[00:03:08] Oh, yeah, Galaxy was not kind to the ears because that was also where I saw pig face.

[00:03:14] RIP to the dude from pig face.

[00:03:17] Yeah, which one?

[00:03:19] The senior I think died.

[00:03:21] There were so many singers of pig face you have to be.

[00:03:24] Dude, I'm going to say man like pig face is always like the favorite band of the weird older guy you worked with it was facing like pretty well.

[00:03:34] Pretty fucking hot.

[00:03:35] Yeah, but I think it really really really was like a deep pervert band.

[00:03:40] I know pig faces got the fucking jams.

[00:03:42] But there's like there's like definitely like people that can't like fucking rent cars anymore.

[00:03:47] What got them into my mind was that they're such a revolving door.

[00:03:53] Martinackens is pretty much the only core member of that band.

[00:03:56] Everyone else is pretty much just a jobber and just shows up for a record or two fucking Trenton Risener was in pig face.

[00:04:02] I forgot about that.

[00:04:03] So, you know, singer for pig face I'm like yeah, that list is like a mile long.

[00:04:08] I have a pig face shirt from when they toured Germany and it has every member of pig face that's ever been in the band.

[00:04:14] And it's like size 10 font and it goes the whole 11 by 17 in the fucking shirt.

[00:04:21] So, like genus, the origin was in pig face if I can you know like Charlie Closer was it.

[00:04:27] Everybody who's anybody in industrial music has been through the pig face.

[00:04:31] A sausage maker.

[00:04:33] Yeah, Leslie ran keen from Ruby at all these other you know 15 million other bands.

[00:04:39] So, smoking pubs hum and no knife.

[00:04:43] If that was that was the show, you'd have to get a wheelbarrow in some sort of weighted mechanism to get me through the door

[00:04:52] because I don't know that I'm making it out of there otherwise.

[00:04:54] It's something about no knife like everyone talks about like at the drive-in and stuff but like no knife where they're around the same time

[00:05:02] and they're probably better.

[00:05:04] Yeah, just consistently.

[00:05:06] But anyway, let's 40 minutes dogs working my name Jason. This is Brian.

[00:05:09] This is about this episode so we're just kind of hanging out chilling at the shallot.

[00:05:12] I do one our thing on a rainy Thursday.

[00:05:15] Yeah, we record this after the last episode because little JJ here has to go a...

[00:05:21] Merl Beach!

[00:05:23] And going to be on Merl Beach.

[00:05:25] He's going to get food poisoning for some shellfish.

[00:05:29] Some really fucked up shellfish.

[00:05:31] I'm going to be having a time for sugar.

[00:05:33] Shouldn't I have that pink tar saw?

[00:05:35] Oh, the pink sauce?

[00:05:38] I went down the Merl Beach and I got me some pink sauce.

[00:05:42] Now I can't feel my toes!

[00:05:48] The whole pink sauce thing still kills me like...

[00:05:50] I love the idea of just getting not shell-sable.

[00:05:53] Not non-shelf stable condiments delivered to you through USP.

[00:06:00] Like some random TikTok person.

[00:06:03] Yeah, never mad that you don't...

[00:06:06] But so something I mentioned on the regular episode from last week is that

[00:06:10] we talked about South by Southwest and I said, oh there's a story there

[00:06:14] and I want to tell you this week.

[00:06:16] And this one boy, it was a whole journey.

[00:06:20] It was about 10 years ago.

[00:06:22] I was working at...

[00:06:25] Yeah, I was working at a shoe company.

[00:06:28] I was doing product photography for their eBay store.

[00:06:31] And so most of my day was spent getting a shoe,

[00:06:36] putting it in a white box,

[00:06:38] a photo of each angle,

[00:06:40] and then putting it in this formatted document

[00:06:44] and then uploading all that to eBay.

[00:06:46] It was the most soulless job I've ever had

[00:06:49] while also doing photography.

[00:06:52] Like the one time I've ever done photography for work

[00:06:56] and it paid shit.

[00:06:58] The guys there were real nice and all,

[00:07:00] but like it was just painful.

[00:07:03] Because the guy...

[00:07:04] He let you fuck the shoes.

[00:07:05] No they really didn't.

[00:07:07] In fact I think that's why the deaf guy got fired.

[00:07:10] Anyway...

[00:07:11] Is that a real story?

[00:07:13] No, there was a deaf guy who wrote it.

[00:07:15] There was a...

[00:07:16] He got fired because he...

[00:07:17] That's the one.

[00:07:18] Yeah, it just couldn't deal with him.

[00:07:21] No, they would hate...

[00:07:23] He saw someone walking a husky down watch

[00:07:26] avenue and boy he just started...

[00:07:28] Fuck you, you son of a bitch!

[00:07:30] Yeah.

[00:07:31] They don't snow here!

[00:07:33] No!

[00:07:35] He's yelling.

[00:07:37] No.

[00:07:38] But they would haze you when you first got there

[00:07:41] and they would tell you to tell the deaf guy that

[00:07:44] something about all of juice

[00:07:46] because all of juice has the same lip breed as I love you

[00:07:49] and so he would get pissed at you.

[00:07:51] I'm not gay!

[00:07:53] God damn it.

[00:07:55] God damn it.

[00:07:57] Damn it.

[00:07:59] And then there were the two guys up front who were like...

[00:08:02] This was PlayStation 3 era so they're like really obsessed

[00:08:06] with the darkness that game based on the image comics.

[00:08:10] But that was the job I was working and at that time

[00:08:13] I took it upon myself to take the piss

[00:08:16] of people who were into South by Southwest

[00:08:19] and who were there.

[00:08:21] And before we get into this,

[00:08:23] I have a little story to tell about also a coworker

[00:08:26] with some disability.

[00:08:29] Okay.

[00:08:30] Also a game fucked with a couple of years ago

[00:08:33] I had this really shitty fucking warehouse job.

[00:08:36] There was a fucking meat grinder

[00:08:38] and there was a guy there who got into a car accident

[00:08:41] or something and had more skill issues.

[00:08:46] Okay.

[00:08:47] And so I think he was fine.

[00:08:49] He just kind of walked funny

[00:08:52] and had some speech issues.

[00:08:55] Okay.

[00:08:56] He was also a huge asshole.

[00:08:58] I'm sure I've told the story here about the guy

[00:09:01] that walks around North County that has burned scars

[00:09:03] all over his body.

[00:09:04] Oh yeah.

[00:09:05] And like being told, don't feel sorry for him

[00:09:07] because the reason he has that is because he tried killing his family

[00:09:10] and he got stuck in the house.

[00:09:12] It was on fire instead.

[00:09:13] So the feeling is like I think this guy never had this car accident

[00:09:16] and he was still alive in a huge asshole.

[00:09:18] Oh wow.

[00:09:19] And one day I'm talking with a guy

[00:09:22] and that only been there for a couple weeks.

[00:09:24] So I realize this guy sucks.

[00:09:25] I'm talking with another dude who only smoked like weed

[00:09:28] which was he was definitely doing that job right?

[00:09:31] And he goes, man, dude, someone's still such as such his car.

[00:09:35] Really?

[00:09:36] What the fuck?

[00:09:37] Yeah, dude was really fucking weird about it.

[00:09:39] I saw the footage, right?

[00:09:40] I go, yeah.

[00:09:41] And they just went straight to his car and took it.

[00:09:43] Like there was no like they were looking in the parking lot

[00:09:45] because there was like people who drove like nicer cars

[00:09:47] and just do like a like a like a beater.

[00:09:49] Yeah.

[00:09:50] And they just took the beer and it's like so you think he just like

[00:09:52] pissed someone off and he's just like, yeah man,

[00:09:55] like no one likes this guy.

[00:09:57] I was just like being like imagine how much of an asshole

[00:10:02] you have to be if you're like someone that uses a wheelchair

[00:10:04] and someone told still your wheelchair while like you're like

[00:10:08] I don't know like at the doctor or something

[00:10:10] like still off the back of like your Dodge carer.

[00:10:12] Oh yeah.

[00:10:15] I was just thinking like who'd you piss off, man?

[00:10:18] It had to have been bad because yes.

[00:10:20] It is the car got returned.

[00:10:22] No.

[00:10:23] Yeah, and I never heard anything else of it.

[00:10:26] It was like a thing going around.

[00:10:28] It's like yeah, someone like souls car and like they went straight

[00:10:30] for his shit, man.

[00:10:31] There was no like look around there like no that's it.

[00:10:34] That's the one.

[00:10:35] Yeah.

[00:10:36] Anyways, I'm sorry.

[00:10:37] So you know, no, it's fine right around this time about 10 years ago.

[00:10:40] I started posting a bunch of shit about South by Southwest

[00:10:44] because at the time hashtags were huge.

[00:10:47] And so the first post, oh man it's time to start trolling South by Southwest

[00:10:53] hashtags.

[00:10:54] Let's get ready to inflate our own egos

[00:10:56] at the expense of vapid Austin tourists.

[00:10:59] A series of posts.

[00:11:00] I mean I went on for this like three or four days.

[00:11:03] I liked the Royce de FIVE nine shout out.

[00:11:06] I respect that.

[00:11:07] Yeah.

[00:11:08] I think the greatest ball wrappers of all time.

[00:11:10] Oh Royce de FIVE nine was great.

[00:11:11] I love the fact that he had a song in GTA 3 and it's going to live forever.

[00:11:14] Yeah.

[00:11:15] But yeah, it was Royce de FIVE nine is going to be at South by Southwest

[00:11:18] in the Doritos explosion of flavor rapathon 2014 booth handing out samples of chips.

[00:11:25] This is where I also came up with my fake record label laser goose records.

[00:11:30] Which is laser goose CEO for those who have been wondering.

[00:11:35] That's why my handle is that on those various other social means.

[00:11:39] Because laser goose CEO to me is just funny laser goose records.

[00:11:44] Yeah, check out my record label laser goose records at our South by Southwest

[00:11:47] unofficial after party in the back room of the subway.

[00:11:50] We'll have tap water to exclamation points.

[00:11:53] And then I started making up band names.

[00:11:56] And so I had a bumpy bumbo appearing live at the safe way for the Pringles once you pop stage

[00:12:02] and chip experience.

[00:12:04] But stuff with three T's and three F's.

[00:12:07] We were following their new hit sex numbers.

[00:12:11] I'm fairly certain that there is a band playing South by this year that has a name

[00:12:17] that is basically sex numbers.

[00:12:19] Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

[00:12:21] A lot of this stuff is like prophetic weirdly in a way that.

[00:12:25] Roller Derby, I'll come on menu ripping me off here.

[00:12:29] What?

[00:12:30] Derby girls, rubber derby girls.

[00:12:31] What was the thing I used to riff on you're still like your crap.

[00:12:34] You're crap.

[00:12:35] Maybe parallel thought.

[00:12:37] Let's call that.

[00:12:38] Okay, oh.

[00:12:39] Sui generous.

[00:12:41] I missed the quimba breakfast taco experience panel presented by Doritos Nacho Flavor Triple Explosion Chips.

[00:12:48] Maybe next year.

[00:12:51] The burp daddies, that was another band that came up with their split EP with Huff for Life.

[00:12:57] I'm probably listening to a band called Huff for Life.

[00:13:00] Let's all do, it's just like a really nasty dungeon synth band from Jackson, Mississippi.

[00:13:09] Oh yeah, and they're just.

[00:13:11] Narlie, fucking heavy.

[00:13:12] Yeah, but you wouldn't know it to look at them.

[00:13:15] Like we were talking about last episode, it was just like a guy in a fucking polo

[00:13:19] and then he gets on stage and he's like government killed my dog.

[00:13:23] Yeah, alright dude.

[00:13:24] Fuck yeah.

[00:13:25] I confirmed a laser gase records time slot for the Pepsi South by Southwest.

[00:13:30] Bereo challenge, Saracha, dunking booth presented by Nokia Engage.

[00:13:34] Sight.

[00:13:35] Slot words in there.

[00:13:37] I didn't win it.

[00:13:38] Like I said, it went on for one.

[00:13:40] But the thing that really got me was that I made these really obvious fake photoshops.

[00:13:47] Like not even I was the I'm not good at Photoshop still.

[00:13:52] But at this time it was just like I paced it a really bad selfie on top of someone else's head poorly

[00:13:59] and said hello South by Southwest, I am in you.

[00:14:02] Laser grease records representing Austin using the official hashtag.

[00:14:07] This one led to at least two different St. Louis bands messaging me privately.

[00:14:12] I'm like, hey man, where are you at?

[00:14:14] You can tell that's fake right?

[00:14:16] Yeah, you're at that skinny back then.

[00:14:18] I was never that skinny.

[00:14:19] Another really obvious fake.

[00:14:21] I'm just standing on the street corner, you know?

[00:14:23] Thanks Dan for this picture from last nice pre pre pre pre after pre-stop.

[00:14:28] Yeah.

[00:14:31] It's like a street preacher.

[00:14:34] Yeah, with standing on a, I guess it was like a step ladder with a megaphone.

[00:14:39] But it's very obviously not me because the head's the wrong size and it's also nighttime

[00:14:44] and it's the same face as the last one.

[00:14:47] People still message me and said, where can I find you?

[00:14:50] Brother, you dumbass ale.

[00:14:53] Photoshop myself into a picture with, there it is, Kevin Bacon

[00:14:59] and what's the fuck is her name?

[00:15:02] You know the one, the nerdy girl from all the shows.

[00:15:05] Oh, who did Veronica from Felicia Day?

[00:15:08] Felicia Day, thank you.

[00:15:09] I knew it was Felicia but I could not see ultimate fake gamer girl.

[00:15:12] Yeah.

[00:15:15] But yeah, it's like even really terribly photoshopped.

[00:15:19] Like I'm just not clearly not there but several questions were asked.

[00:15:23] Even a tweet from 10 years ago.

[00:15:26] Yeah, but I don't even know if his original tweet even exists because he everyone wants to know.

[00:15:31] Oh yeah, my best band name of South by Southwest, Neon Genesis, Evan Gilliam.

[00:15:36] We'll have to sign them.

[00:15:39] That's pretty good.

[00:15:42] There's the one right.

[00:15:44] Oh no, one of the Wi-Fi hobos still your laser zeus sign.

[00:15:49] And then I had an entire like five hashtag laser goose sign without hashtag.

[00:15:56] South by Southwest bad for my brand SEO marking PR typo.

[00:16:01] South by Southwest 14 metrics ROI amazing daylight savings crime.

[00:16:07] I need to sign you guys at the Taco Bell hangover cure bar.

[00:16:11] But you're 10% in my HP printers.

[00:16:13] I mean, it's just been on for like a day and a half.

[00:16:16] I think the one that I was most proud of was the one.

[00:16:20] Yeah, South by Southwest is confusing.

[00:16:22] I walked up to a guy who looked like Prince and it turns out he was a fire hydrant

[00:16:26] and I was just tired.

[00:16:27] I did a whole bit about the Nokia tent and getting my kidney taken out.

[00:16:33] It was a whole bit.

[00:16:34] But anyway, so that kind of manufactured nonsense was to me what South by Southwest was always about.

[00:16:40] And I saw a tweet with a reference to an oxygen bar which is man, that's that is really old school.

[00:16:45] Yeah, sweet free ice just woke up in a tub at the Sheridan South by Southwest chill out room presented by paste.

[00:16:51] Oh God did someone steal my kidney.

[00:16:53] Nokia USA responded to me.

[00:16:55] Hey Jason swing by the Nokia booth at the South by Southwest create space.

[00:16:59] We have lots of free Nokia swag.

[00:17:02] I respond to this Nokia make replacement kidneys.

[00:17:05] I'm getting dizzy from the blood loss and pretty sure I'm going to die.

[00:17:10] Amazing.

[00:17:11] Oh boy, that's so fucking the fact that I got a brand to respond to me was just beautiful.

[00:17:19] I think my favorite I mean dog boner.

[00:17:23] Dog God is the one who really started this but my favorite one I think was the time I won Dick sporting goods Facebook page.

[00:17:31] It was like I think your name's really offensive.

[00:17:34] It makes it really hard for me to raise my children and got like a very sincere response.

[00:17:41] Well, you know if they tried to do that now, lips of TikTok would be like yeah why is it named that?

[00:17:46] I think I got banned from Fender's Facebook page.

[00:17:49] Why?

[00:17:50] I think because I asked them if they were going to release a limited edition TV ray Vaughn, a Straghaster may have pieces from the helicopter.

[00:18:00] Oh no.

[00:18:01] You know what?

[00:18:03] I like it.

[00:18:04] I'll take it.

[00:18:05] I used to have two jokes I would tell while everyone was tuning and one of them was what was see very Vans less thoughts as the helicopter cream to the ground.

[00:18:20] I don't know what I wish I had written some good songs.

[00:18:25] Oh boy.

[00:18:26] I had a really mean Eric Clapton one that I can't remember.

[00:18:30] But I remember telling that see very Vans one a few times and like two like a room full of punks.

[00:18:36] Yeah, and they still...

[00:18:38] No they were like people were winsing like oh that's...

[00:18:41] I mean it's I get it but yeah I can see where they're coming from.

[00:18:45] Not that it's bad.

[00:18:46] It's like seeing like me what?

[00:18:48] No.

[00:18:49] We're in the fucking hats.

[00:18:50] You'll get no argument for me.

[00:18:51] I have a bunch of people that I knew back in high school to try to convince me he was the best things in sliced bread and I still don't see it.

[00:18:58] I mean actually I mean little generally amazing guitar player and an interesting person.

[00:19:03] The guy himself was nothing was bad.

[00:19:06] I don't think C. Ray Vans was like a terrible dude.

[00:19:08] Like Steve Vi or like any of these guys that are considered like guitar.

[00:19:12] I can't listen to Steve Vi by I think every interview I've ever listened to or watched with Steve Vi where he was talking about music in the process.

[00:19:20] It was always really interesting.

[00:19:21] I think that guy is like from a technical perspective like a really interesting and thoughtful musician.

[00:19:26] Sure.

[00:19:27] I just can't listen to him fucking do read real off the red nose reindeer.

[00:19:30] It doesn't make the records any easier to listen to for sure.

[00:19:33] If someone gave me free tickets to him doing like a clinic about songwriting or something like that,

[00:19:38] like I would probably be like oh sick.

[00:19:40] Yeah, or if he did a masterclass one of those things.

[00:19:42] Yeah yeah yeah I don't think he's an uninteresting person.

[00:19:44] It's like how people react to him.

[00:19:46] Yes.

[00:19:47] I think people have picked over his corpse quite a bit.

[00:19:52] Fender musical instruments being one of them.

[00:19:55] Yeah but...

[00:19:58] No, I mean you're right to take the piss out of Fender.

[00:20:02] They've certainly dug up their fair share of corpses over the years if for that sort of thing.

[00:20:09] That was like a strike after I mean he definitely played like a couple like no oval strats.

[00:20:14] They all have fucking names and they've done like really high end re like relic reproductions

[00:20:21] and so on and so on but like it's...

[00:20:23] But he didn't just play Stragh casters.

[00:20:26] No.

[00:20:27] But the marking of it you think that's all you ever did was placed.

[00:20:30] And the same thing with Jimmy Hendrix all you ever played was Straspin though he played SG.

[00:20:35] He was flying V.

[00:20:36] I was gonna say like where I've seen some stuff where he's playing.

[00:20:40] Yeah SGs as well I was thinking.

[00:20:42] He played other guitars but the marketing is to be like that.

[00:20:45] I mean Miley Wars didn't always play a telecaster but there was a signature Miley Wars telly for a while

[00:20:51] and so yeah it's kind of like changing history a little bit I suppose.

[00:20:57] Well I mean from that perspective...

[00:20:59] When guitar companies start doing that shit too like I took a tour of the Gibson factory.

[00:21:04] Down Memphis?

[00:21:05] Yeah I did that too he has pretty neat.

[00:21:07] It's neat to see him do all this stuff but then you know they're...

[00:21:10] Of course they take you through the guitar shop at the end and it's...

[00:21:14] Someone so signature Gibson whatever you know whether it's the epiphone or the SG or whatever.

[00:21:20] And you're like yeah but I've seen him play a telly.

[00:21:24] You know like I've seen him play you know this is not...

[00:21:29] Probably when you did also was when like some...

[00:21:34] Interest like Jeff Tweed has signature S.

[00:21:36] Yes that was the big one that was out front and I'm like okay cool.

[00:21:39] You know what is a really fucking cool guitar?

[00:21:42] Sure.

[00:21:43] We had one the guitar sound I worked at we had one.

[00:21:46] I kind of wish I would have bought because now they're worth a ton of money.

[00:21:49] But the Jeff Tweed ESC?

[00:21:51] Yeah it's the...

[00:21:52] I think the only Gibson that I've ever seen that came stock with Burst Bucker ones which are really low output.

[00:21:59] That's the humbuckers okay yeah.

[00:22:01] But like the fucking neck joint on that fucking guitar look like absolute for the clear coat look like dog shit.

[00:22:08] Yeah maybe one like it's like I mean I make it go on here for days and days about quality control with Gibson.

[00:22:15] But it's...

[00:22:16] I mean Gibson is a really great guitar brand if you want to spend $4,000 on a guitar that does not play any better than a $600.

[00:22:23] Well no.

[00:22:24] Well no.

[00:22:25] Right.

[00:22:26] And I think that's the thing with Fender too.

[00:22:29] It's the same thing.

[00:22:30] I've actually played a lot of custom shop.

[00:22:32] Fender as well I was like holy shit this is this thing place like fucking butter it.

[00:22:37] It's like it sounds good.

[00:22:39] It feels good.

[00:22:40] And then like you can go play like a custom shop Gibson and be like is this a second?

[00:22:47] Oh is this some sort of foreign repro or yeah some some sort of...

[00:22:51] Well I worked with guitar center we used to play a game called What's Wrong with the $400 limited edition custom shop Gibson.

[00:23:01] There's not wrong with the $800 Schechter C1 that's made in Korea by Sam.

[00:23:08] Wow.

[00:23:09] And I tell you the fact that it happened so often you had a game.

[00:23:12] Oh god we would sit there we would sit there and look at the binding and be like this is like...

[00:23:18] I remember people being like this guitar cost board in my first car.

[00:23:21] Right.

[00:23:22] And the fucking Gibson custom shop logo on the back of the headstocks I've been fucking not even centered.

[00:23:27] It's not even at the right angle.

[00:23:29] Yeah.

[00:23:30] Well that's because you know it's handmade.

[00:23:32] Whatever.

[00:23:33] Well I mean handmade is such heavy quotations.

[00:23:37] Yes.

[00:23:38] The 50s and 60s Gibson actually used the machine to do the arch top on the carve top on the S on the S she's on the original less Paul's.

[00:23:48] And then they would use the hand to get they would hand sand it to get the marks off of like the machine marks.

[00:23:55] Yeah the machine marks up was basically a very primitive CNC machine just to give.

[00:23:59] And part of the reason apparently I didn't find out about this until year two ago is that part of reason I did the car top on the less Paul's make it hard to be copied.

[00:24:08] Because those such a unique aspects.

[00:24:11] Okay.

[00:24:12] I mean a lot of other people made single cut guitars at the time but the less Paul was kind of like the thing that made sense.

[00:24:22] Tall casters a single cut guitar right or single cut away guitar but it's kind of a different beast.

[00:24:29] But yeah the Gibson guitar factory yeah I mean I don't know like and they'll walk they'll show you the CNC they'll show you the giant room where it's all just like here's a here's what we do like 80% of the bodywork.

[00:24:41] Yeah.

[00:24:42] Yeah it's it's fucking crazy and they like little Filipino ladies doing the binding and all that and yeah well I was on tour with that band 10 years ago

[00:24:50] there was a band that played with us and Nashville.

[00:24:53] Okay.

[00:24:54] And the guy for the work that the Gibson factory Nashville his band like half their instruments were all like factory seconds that were still technically very good instruments.

[00:25:06] But the things really interesting that not a lot of people knows if you work at Gibson factory you get random shit.

[00:25:13] So like for example about 10 years ago there was going to be a signature Trent Resner 335.

[00:25:20] Okay.

[00:25:21] And that fell through but they already produced like four of those instruments.

[00:25:25] Oh so they just gave them to the employees.

[00:25:28] Oh wow yeah there's all kinds of stories like buddy not by guy but BB King coming by and like actually like hand picking out like the next to be put on his guitar.

[00:25:40] You know the guitars that he won and stuff and like you know he would like flirt with the laser works apparently he was a real coup sound.

[00:25:47] A lot of blues players from what I understand it was not out of wine.

[00:25:52] Yeah yeah I've heard some funny stories about him just absolutely just laying down some thick game on like a married woman.

[00:26:00] They just didn't give a shes like BB King were you going to?

[00:26:03] Right.

[00:26:04] Yeah maybe you're gonna ride with the king or what?

[00:26:07] Yeah.

[00:26:09] 70s and 80s Gibson's are concerned to be kind of like the dark era really but some of the most amazing bizarre history.

[00:26:17] Yeah of that company is in that time period my opinion because you have like guys that just did where the fuck they wanted.

[00:26:24] There was a guy in his son and they were just like pitching stuff like well if we just made like a really weird version of a less Paul.

[00:26:31] But we gave it like a explorer headstock and like a slightly thinner body.

[00:26:36] Yeah.

[00:26:37] Yeah shit fuck it whatever like nothing else.

[00:26:39] Everyone's playing fucking point guitars right now so do where the fuck you want.

[00:26:43] Yeah.

[00:26:44] Like up to the early 90s it was like they just did really weird shit.

[00:26:48] Yeah we're just gonna make a fucking bright blue fucking ES 335 just because like fuck it why not?

[00:26:55] I know Prince had the custom less Paul and that was on display at the factory when I was there.

[00:27:02] It was the white one but he had a couple of me at a purple one, a gold one.

[00:27:07] And those were pretty sick and then I went to Paisley Park and saw not a reproduction like they had at the Gibson Factory but like the real deal behind glass.

[00:27:16] It's pretty neat.

[00:27:17] Yeah it was really wild.

[00:27:19] Three or four different ones at Paisley Park.

[00:27:22] You can see some of these photos like I said though.

[00:27:25] I mean Prince played fucking everything.

[00:27:27] Tellies you know he's got a tailor an epiphone.

[00:27:30] Yeah fucking shactor the fucking civil guitar forum and yeah near the end of his life he was like a he was endorsed by like Vox who had never been known for making like super amazing.

[00:27:40] The fucking Hondo Coyote.

[00:27:42] I mean what a wild-ass guitar that was with the like lightning bolt shape and like all this.

[00:27:47] It's pretty neat though.

[00:27:49] Yeah it's a very A's guitar.

[00:27:51] Oh yeah definitely boy going to Paisley Park was an experience though man.

[00:27:56] Seeing all his custom shoes wall of shoes just shoes.

[00:28:01] Yeah that's why his hips were bad.

[00:28:03] Yeah that in the fucking between the tooth and all of you know I'm sure the basketball didn't help either.

[00:28:11] Because you walk outside.

[00:28:13] Well you think that's a joke right but then you go to Paisley Park and as you exit the gift shop there is the there is the court.

[00:28:22] Like you walk out onto the fucking basketball court.

[00:28:25] No he really did ball like all the time.

[00:28:28] I don't doubt it.

[00:28:30] Well you know sometimes shows like that will emphasize certain stuff or they'll kind of fluff the truth a little bit but no you walk out the gift shop.

[00:28:38] It never came off as like an unathletic individual.

[00:28:41] No I mean slim dude even to his 50s like still never seemed like he was ever in bad shape.

[00:28:47] No moved around like a crazy person on stage like you would do you think if we put catwall items and some heels some the lower heels.

[00:28:59] Yeah the big clubbing big yeah it took him down the Vegas so we could give people to convince that.

[00:29:04] Oh yeah.

[00:29:05] You like we could like you and I'm pill people yes yeah we could have our own little negative for you.

[00:29:10] What do you mean you don't why here purple rain mother fuck out play the shit out of purple rain right now.

[00:29:16] Oh second hold my drink.

[00:29:20] Toilet on serve ribs you know but uh but yeah you probably could you could probably do it.

[00:29:27] All these people on hot tech real make me sick.

[00:29:31] Yeah I mean you could do a whole negative 48 you can make a whole cult out of it.

[00:29:36] Yeah I'm kidnapping cat Williams yeah constantly waving poppers under his nose.

[00:29:45] Why does my head hurt so much just just keep doing your prince impression man dude we got we got enough money for another knife that's all around.

[00:29:55] I think gonna be bitches there of course cat there's going to be a court.

[00:30:00] Prince I mean prince will be a prince will be a prince will be a princess there's going to be bitches at the hotel room well that's all right then.

[00:30:09] Yeah we're going to the good taco bell right yeah talk about he's fucking up my or and about the fucking blow fucking gas get in there it's alright prince we're good we're good.

[00:30:19] Why the fuck you keep calling me that I think we have a real money maker here I don't know if this episode needs to see the light of day.

[00:30:24] I think we got a cut this guy really angry.

[00:30:29] Goat he's looking a little weird is he wearing a wig yes motherfucker that's a way what do you want from me.

[00:30:38] I thought you said these were uppers this is just so the fed.

[00:30:43] You just docin him and fucking banish real yeah he keeps saying I need more salt on these french fries white board.

[00:30:52] I'm just I'm just I'm just doing shit with my it's like I'm just shooting my fingers.

[00:30:57] I even do it like that's right that's right.

[00:31:02] Sorry sure this crazy I would fuck with cat Williams in real life yeah because I know he beat my ass yeah it would be a story right.

[00:31:10] All I would have to do is just tell him like the others glass there.

[00:31:15] Oh

[00:31:17] and then have him think that the whole entire night as I'm leaving I just walk through the threshold.

[00:31:26] My fucker just fucking with him.

[00:31:31] I say tell me I had to go to the bathroom on the other side of the building.

[00:31:35] I do walk all the way around.

[00:31:40] I would actually do some shit like spray lice all my fingers out of his point of view and just be like yo cat man use what I got into just a couple of minutes ago really yeah man smell my fingers.

[00:31:53] Why does that smell like lilies.

[00:31:58] Is that fucking linen money I'm doing linen you spout you straight yourself down with some myself fresh air what the fuck's going on exactly cat gives a call.

[00:32:10] One day I can't even get the whole phone number.

[00:32:17] Someone's gonna play at this show he's like what the fuck is these white boys talking about I don't know man honestly like one of the

[00:32:24] fuckers. Oh my god yeah also someone I would be scared to share an L.A.

[00:32:29] I don't know that I could look him in the eye.

[00:32:32] I don't think you're supposed to.

[00:32:34] Well there's that yeah yeah that's your challenging please don't notice me I'm just gonna be over here.

[00:32:40] You afraid to look at me white boy see and then you're like yes sir you know what your pocket.

[00:32:46] Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then it's scared straight again.

[00:32:50] Yeah I'm a pocket you're my bitch he's crazy Chris the nightmare.

[00:32:54] He's like I'm gonna trade you for some talk about it.

[00:32:58] Yeah did you ever did you ever see I know you've seen scared straight because you reference turning out your pockets but

[00:33:05] but there was one there was this one and he was crazy Chris the nightmare man if you heard of crazy Chris the nightmare man.

[00:33:12] Okay this is a nice guy.

[00:33:14] That's a joke then I'm gonna push up on you.

[00:33:17] Then I'm gonna show you the real deal.

[00:33:20] What are you gonna do?

[00:33:22] I want to make your mother.

[00:33:24] Yeah he's got that's a serial.

[00:33:28] Yes that very same one yes I'm what is her name I'm a fuck I don't know I can't.

[00:33:36] I can't glass with a yeast infection I don't know fucking.

[00:33:39] I'm Eric Lass and this is this American life and this is the story of crazy Chris the nightmare man.

[00:33:47] Crazy Chris the nightmare.

[00:33:49] That was probably the name of at least two people that came into the blockbuster I worked.

[00:33:55] Crazy Chris the nightmare man.

[00:33:57] We had one of our most annoying customers was a guy who always wore Gucci exchange.

[00:34:03] But like had charger so it was like we know you're broke bro.

[00:34:07] Oh yeah he's driving the charge right he's wearing good yeah yeah.

[00:34:10] Oh our mining exchange I'm sorry.

[00:34:12] Our mining exchange okay.

[00:34:13] But he was also one of those guys he like had one Gucci piece.

[00:34:16] Sure.

[00:34:17] So he was always wearing that like my dude you're wearing that the fuck out.

[00:34:20] That's a show that's a show that's a show piece.

[00:34:24] You don't you don't wear that everywhere that's not you don't take that to the grocery store.

[00:34:28] You don't wear that to buy a rent during this early earth starting bread in the freezer.

[00:34:33] Yes and then there was the remake with the rock in it.

[00:34:38] There's a third one you're funny now I feel like I feel like I feel like he been hanging out with cat wings and the poppers.

[00:34:46] I'm telling you Jerry the third earth was bread and frager right and then because that was a remake of the 60s movie

[00:34:55] then there was another one I know you know what I'm thinking of there's another there's another man you're you're smoking crack.

[00:35:02] Why boy there's a journey to something movie with the rock in it.

[00:35:07] Journey to the rock no it's journey journey to the mysterious island that was what I'm thinking of which is that Jack Black which was okay.

[00:35:19] So he now I've got it all fucked up journey this end of the earth that remake what's Brendan Frazier this the sequel journey to the mysterious island

[00:35:28] start the rock in it I was confused I made a mistake I even know this movie existed it's not good Michael canes yeah Michael cane yeah

[00:35:38] uh Vanessa had you wait Luis Guzman I mean you like Luis Guzman but yeah what do you mean we're going to the city.

[00:35:46] It's crazy that hurts yeah yeah so okay journey this end of the earth Brandon Frazier journey to the number of the earth.

[00:35:57] To the number two the lost island that has the rock.

[00:36:02] Supposedly a sequel I don't get it they made a big deal of having journey to be the main title and then a little

[00:36:11] sometime it was a mysterious island it'd be like oh yeah we're doing the mummy four but it's going to have gently in it oh wait they did that.

[00:36:20] We're stuck with the cat well in his voice let me talk to that people tomorrow I know every all day every day it's just can you believe this shit yeah

[00:36:30] why is UPS coming to pick this motherfucker up.

[00:36:34] Man him doing that interview with the guy Shay that was interesting shall we say I only saw a couple of

[00:36:44] clips by but the whole thing with John Cena at the Oscars oh god his humiliation ritual.

[00:36:51] His humiliation ritual may as we didn't talk about that talk about that in the breath man but no yeah you're right we could

[00:36:56] done another horny episode and could yeah I could have very well but another horny episode I I didn't watch the Oscars I was busy watching the

[00:37:04] on cinema at the cinema Oscar special which was itself another breath meant that I will probably go into next week

[00:37:10] because boy if I talk about it now we'll be here for another 40 minutes but I did see stuff online about John Cena being

[00:37:17] nude on stage and so of course I had to watch the clip and it's funny he comes out he's covered his junk and it's like oh yeah

[00:37:24] it's for best costume and then they cut away they show the best costume and then they cut back to him and he is in a

[00:37:30] flowing evening out that's funny I'm sorry that's good humiliation ritual that feels like some cue in the

[00:37:37] shit they were buck breaking him I swear yeah I know it's but you know what he's been in a dress in a

[00:37:44] movie before so he's already done he's already done that oh man like one of the most cut dudes and me

[00:37:50] right now oh they're really humiliating this guy who's like shredded yeah not only that but like he

[00:37:57] embraces this fact that like yeah I'm a big dumb dude like I that's his whole stick like the

[00:38:04] vacation friends movie that I was telling you about yeah that's his whole stick in that movie too like every

[00:38:09] time you see him that's what he's doing he's doing this dumb guy who shredded a peacemaker

[00:38:15] that the whole TV series idea he's already very successful this isn't a humiliation ritual to

[00:38:21] indoctrinate him into anything he's already a name like you know his fucking name like there's this thought

[00:38:27] that like yeah this is what he had to do to get the big rolls the big rolls you mean like his own TV show

[00:38:32] you're your cock sucked by John Cena though boy on the cast and couch oh boy oh you thought Vince

[00:38:39] McMahon was nasty he's gonna be doing some shit to you and never seen in your life

[00:38:45] freak you freak you freak you fuck out now turn around like okay John whatever whatever man

[00:38:55] cuts in the ass John Cena whatever it takes I just need this movie alright the thing that you can

[00:39:01] humiliate a guy who was like half naked on television for years guy who was a professional wrestler

[00:39:07] well there's that too but I just mean like his outfits you know I mean like he's shirtless

[00:39:12] he's got the jean shorts or whatever like you're already most of the way there what do you mean

[00:39:17] you're gonna humiliate this guy you can't you can't humiliate John Cena he does it to himself

[00:39:23] there's nothing you can throw at him and he hasn't already done oh it's a humiliation ritual no like no

[00:39:32] but it all is this whole like paranoid thing like oh yeah this is how you I don't know it I can't even begin to formulate

[00:39:41] a like a full thought around it because it's just like it's absurd yes fucky it's fucking thank you yes

[00:39:47] but what's that's a fucking there's fucking

[00:39:51] they're telling you about the time at work I thought I was in a trailer for a place but no tell me I need to hear so we got a guy like

[00:39:58] we repair industrial stuff one of the things you do my job but we got a guy on one of our teams who will

[00:40:04] fucking just tell anyone to bring their fucking weird shit in and then don't tell anyone

[00:40:10] so this have the weirdest mother fucker come in with like a fucking 60 year old motor from the top of a brain

[00:40:18] silo it shows up with it's like it's a western house more this shit so old it was made in America or

[00:40:24] it's a wall door moore that's so fucking old it was made on fucking Hall Street in St. Louis damn

[00:40:30] it's older than anyone that works in this business right we can't fucking fix that by new fucking do

[00:40:36] fucking moor but yeah this point but this guy like just told like a fucking some junkyard in the

[00:40:44] fucking middle of nowhere like yeah no we'll take a look at your you're fucking whatever and not

[00:40:49] even his own department and this guy shows up with a trailer that's two old truck campers

[00:40:57] looked upside down okay with axles bolted to the bottom okay and he's driving like a Dodge Ram with a bunch of

[00:41:06] fucking pro cop shit on oh boy comes up to my doc he's like you go you gonna take care of me

[00:41:11] and I'm like mother fucker this she dock height this shame it's like well warm I supposed to go on my

[00:41:17] own I'm like I'm thinking like this is a fucking headache I got like six other things I'm supposed to be doing

[00:41:22] on top of everything else here's this yeah and I'm like man this ain't the same like being fitting my team

[00:41:28] I'm this is be some labor I'm doing for one of the fucking union team I'm not gonna bust my hump for

[00:41:33] the union guys they already make like fucking 15 bucks an hour more than I do yeah they're getting paid the

[00:41:39] deal with shit like I don't get paid enough to deal with right so I said I'm over to the union side of building

[00:41:45] and they're gonna take some straps put on this motor sure and the whole entire time people on that side

[00:41:52] of the building are like what the fuck is this like people are like sleeping out taking a photo of this guy never seen this before

[00:41:59] I got all the shit I gotta do and this guy can't even talk to me after he says you go you gonna take care of me

[00:42:04] because he's on the phone with someone because he's from the scrapyard and he's like yeah I got

[00:42:09] a cat lit a converse from semis I'm trying to sell and I'm like shady well it's just like it's

[00:42:16] just like well he works for a scrapyard yeah like but it's like one of those things like mother fucker

[00:42:21] you're I'm here right now right my time is worth something apparently he also fucking like bust

[00:42:28] the tire not just like oh there's a hole in the tire like rip the side wall of a tire on the trailer

[00:42:34] and he's all telling me like yeah I gotta get like two and a half hours out I got to get back there before it rains

[00:42:40] I'm thinking about boy yeah and so everyone's looking at this fucked up motor like for the next couple days

[00:42:47] and they're like the fuck is this random ass thing is like well it's like some shit that such and such told

[00:42:53] some random dude he could bring in people are just like this is trash right throw it away

[00:42:59] and they probably spent a thousand dollars the fucking rebuild a motor that isn't worth 50 bucks

[00:43:05] no yeah but we'll take their money because we'll probably never see these people again so it doesn't

[00:43:11] fucking matter we wouldn't do that to you know a power company or someone that we do a bunch of trusted

[00:43:16] customers yeah is this some someone who's too dumb to realize they're getting fucked

[00:43:20] some random off the street and and fortunately we've got some real fucking salesman ass salesman

[00:43:24] that look out like oh yeah if you're too fucking dumb to ask the right questions why the fuck you have this thing in the first place

[00:43:30] so that's a valid question yeah like if you don't know what the fuck if you know if you don't know this is worse

[00:43:36] doesn't worth shit and this is an industry you're in

[00:43:39] you have no business being yeah you're gonna have someone's gonna have to teach you that hard less than the fucking watch

[00:43:44] and it's gonna be us because you're here yeah but I like tell people the story about like

[00:43:50] how weird this guy was and the fucking trailer yeah and all that shit and they're like yeah I was like yeah

[00:43:57] you were seeing trailer park boys and they're like yeah like no I'm like sitting there in my I'm like watching

[00:44:03] this shit fucking go on yeah and I'm just thinking like oh shit fucking gree she and I'm like having these dudes

[00:44:10] fuck cuz I don't fucking talk to these guys a lot so none of these people know I'm funny right I'm like

[00:44:15] oh as fucking greasy and he's just like what the fuck cuz I'm usually just talking about how I fucking hate my life

[00:44:23] sure sure or I'm talking about like you know be really cool if I just drove this forklift into the river

[00:44:30] and you guys never saw me again that's why we like it yeah that's just inspired by real life man

[00:44:38] no yeah you have to you have to there's no real funny shit without a grain of truth

[00:44:44] and I think that's always in my mind if I see something that's supposed to be funny and it rings hollow

[00:44:51] and like that's it's less it's less I think that's why all like the Netflix trailer park boy shit isn't funny

[00:44:57] because I don't think those the career but I think he was really in tune to that kind of stuff

[00:45:04] right but the the actors the guys who took it over the guys who played the trio I don't think have that same they're on that same wavelength

[00:45:13] and I think they didn't understand the the subtext of what made like the original showtime run or I think I think that was the show that was on

[00:45:22] I think the original the original like six seasons of trailer park boys what makes them so fucking amazing

[00:45:28] and those three movies so fucking fun is the subtext of like kind of hinting at social economic stuff

[00:45:35] for this being like the situations of poverty but like they don't understand their fucking broke you know I mean like

[00:45:42] like like the whole entire time Ricky doesn't understand Ricky sees nothing wrong with living in a fucking bee up

[00:45:49] like fucking Buick Broadway because that's that's just what you do it's just you know like it's what he's what he needs to do to get by

[00:45:57] like I'm doing fine what are you talking about yeah the fucking the car clear rings yeah yeah you know there's a couple good riffs

[00:46:04] in the first couple Netflix seasons but they feel like they're leftovers from like some something that was rift out beforehand

[00:46:11] like a couple years ago yeah I think a Netflix kind of poisons the well of it too

[00:46:16] because it feels like to me a lot of times that's going to be almost like a studio meddling

[00:46:21] yeah because when they got a rest development it was the same thing like Mitch Hurwig and all those guys

[00:46:27] all the writers on that show when it was in its original run were fucking funny like just

[00:46:35] they could put out the worst episode of rest development you've ever seen

[00:46:39] and it was still every minute or so there's a gag and if you were laughing too hard from the last

[00:46:46] gag you missed it you're gonna have to watch it again yeah the Netflix seasons did not have that

[00:46:53] there's some shit where you're like cool I've gone a full five or six minutes without a single joke here

[00:46:59] what's happening well some of that I didn't realize this but apparently everyone's schedules are so fucked up

[00:47:04] the people are a green screen together there was that yeah and that's why the first

[00:47:09] reunion season was so weirdly paced and kind of choppy it's because they had to work around everyone's schedules

[00:47:19] but even when they did that remix version of the new season which is what they've since gone back and done

[00:47:25] they're still shit that just doesn't land it just doesn't hit the same you don't like single the quadro

[00:47:31] think of the quadro is funny I would give you a single

[00:47:34] the great gags in there but if you compare them if you take just okay here's the Fox

[00:47:40] seasons here's the Netflix seasons there's gonna be more jokes I mean Mr.

[00:47:46] Mr. F man exactly Mr. F that whole episode has more gags than I think most of season

[00:47:55] 4 does you know what I mean like there's just it's just hits hits hits and because they were

[00:48:01] pressured by Fox their their under all this like

[00:48:06] I have this thing where your limitations right directly influence how hard you have to hustle

[00:48:14] and how funny you can be yeah South Park doesn't have to be funny anymore

[00:48:19] and so sometimes they're not they don't they're not worried about cancellation

[00:48:23] they don't have to be funny family guy doesn't have to be funny they're not worried about being funny

[00:48:27] you know I mean other shows that are on the bubble that are scrapier

[00:48:32] they have to be funnier they have to step there's a whole history of TV shows

[00:48:38] that were on Fox and ABC for only like a season or two that yeah they had two really great seasons

[00:48:46] because those guys were fucking hungry yeah they had to be but they you know

[00:48:50] they got fucked they had bad times lie or something and now the only way is bad

[00:48:55] rips on YouTube box sets there like 300 bucks on Amazon exactly or a

[00:49:01] get a life yeah great show they only did like what two or three seasons I think

[00:49:06] they did too and I think even the second season got like half of them didn't air

[00:49:10] yeah so it was that same thing we're like every week they had to really push it

[00:49:16] and be there was a great documentary on the Dana Carvey show

[00:49:20] and it was the same thing and you got to look at all the people that are that came

[00:49:23] from fucking Dana Carvey's braille Steve Carrell

[00:49:26] it was a variable who's who and someone went out to do Mr. Show

[00:49:29] this is like opening skit like George Bush or Bill Clinton

[00:49:32] Bill Clinton breastfeeding kittens

[00:49:34] yeah come on are you not entertained on on yeah on broadcast TV

[00:49:42] I mean this was not done yeah he was coming straight off S and L

[00:49:46] we're a huge star and it was also see me Colbert Colbert Colbert

[00:49:51] was a guy on there I'm going see me Colbert was funny yeah I do really

[00:49:56] distinctly there was a there was a particular time period where he went from Dana Carvey show

[00:50:00] and then he did a stranger with candy you know like he did a exit 57 like

[00:50:06] there was like two or three different sketch shows where he did he did some

[00:50:09] really killer shit on daily show yeah there's a bit that he did with Steve Carrell

[00:50:14] called even Stevens I don't know if it's fantastic so I those one where

[00:50:19] was like I think they're arguing like this was the Holocaust good or something

[00:50:22] yes yes and yes no

[00:50:28] and only those two could really make that work because man

[00:50:33] it would be ham fisted in bad and other hands you know like and John Stewart's

[00:50:37] back on the daily show oh yeah he's he's right there he's I don't know I

[00:50:42] don't know how I feel about it I think part of the bad faith center is shit that

[00:50:46] we have to deal with I think I hate to say he's inadvertently responsible for

[00:50:51] the quagmire we are in I get what you saying though but I think I think the

[00:50:56] daily show really became this crutch because I'm actually taking a political

[00:51:01] humor or was I think it's might be a humor writing class in college

[00:51:05] and got pissed off because everyone said how much I like the daily show but the

[00:51:10] daily show is just like it's a pacification right of both sides are weird well

[00:51:16] not even that but it's like daily show was critical

[00:51:20] Bush it was critical Obama's but it was a stand-in for actually I think

[00:51:25] really being in like legitimately engaged as a person yeah as a citizen

[00:51:31] yeah unfortunately like a lot of those people that were spawned from that

[00:51:36] John Oliver in particular I gotta give it to John Oliver because boy that guy

[00:51:40] goes deep yeah if you got your max subscription do I catch up on last week

[00:51:44] tonight because there's some really I mean it's it's kind of like what if

[00:51:49] pentalers bullshit didn't have the whole like sweatshops are good

[00:51:54] randomly yeah yeah kind of it's surprising that he continues to get away with

[00:52:00] what he continues to do every week and it was an entire main segment

[00:52:05] about Boeing which I was like fucked yeah well yeah and then after that

[00:52:10] comes out then the whistleblower quote unquote kills himself well

[00:52:15] also sent to the latest episode true billies on the way oh and they were

[00:52:19] discussing about yeah seems a little fishy because the man domed himself after

[00:52:24] getting Taco Bell yeah when they found him there was apparently still

[00:52:28] condensation on the soya wow and of course they're all arguing like now

[00:52:34] I've either bought Taco Bell I don't think I would be interested in killing

[00:52:38] myself at least until after I ate it I was gonna say for another couple

[00:52:41] hours at least yeah let let it marinate a crunch wrap supreme yeah as your last

[00:52:47] meal you could do a lot worse yeah I mean yeah I mean I hate to say it

[00:52:53] that sounds you can spiritual here but like yeah it kind of sounds like a hit

[00:52:57] it definitely sounds like a hit I mean there's I'm kind of surprised it got as far as

[00:53:02] it did before they took him out because he's you know anyway because this was

[00:53:07] the second appearance in court that he was going to yeah he had already done

[00:53:10] I think just finished like a big deposition the position double taps

[00:53:15] himself in the skull somehow so I mean like my great aunt her husband

[00:53:20] was an engineer McDowell Douglas and there was growing up a lot pride for

[00:53:25] what he did and my dad in my aunts both all three of them were yeah like St. Louis

[00:53:30] was a big McDowell Douglas we had TWA here oh yeah don Douglas was a very big deal

[00:53:35] I mean I've got my apartment like proof of concept models and stuff by my TV

[00:53:40] that I got for my great aunt up until the DC 10 they were doing good yeah well

[00:53:44] what is a DC 10 the other ones F 14 I want yes but there's been a couple

[00:53:49] documentaries have said the same thing since the 737 Max or where the fuck it's

[00:53:53] called incident a couple years ago is that when Boeing bought McDowell because

[00:53:58] Donald Douglas was fucking engineers yeah that that was nerds yeah these are

[00:54:03] nerds these were fucking geeks I mean we're talking space nerds these guys

[00:54:07] are like yeah these are fucking geniuses if they didn't work there they

[00:54:11] worked for JPL yeah but Boeing was always marquee yes they were very materialistic

[00:54:16] in comparison and so that when one bought the other kind of was like we're

[00:54:21] gonna push the nerds out yeah it's more about is more about making money than

[00:54:25] is making a good product and it shows yeah I mean we have the 737 Max got

[00:54:31] grounded now we're talking about the what was it the the bolts flying off the

[00:54:36] pole yeah just apparently the there was an FAA inspection that where they

[00:54:40] failed like I want to say like at least 75% yeah but the FAA Inspector also worked

[00:54:48] for Boeing so that oh yeah there's there's so that was fun their own fucking guy

[00:54:53] who was in their pocket yeah point still said this shit sucks bro yeah fuck it

[00:54:58] thanks I hate it exactly yeah that's hard stories of there's like people have

[00:55:04] worked for Boeing that refuse the ongoing planes and not unheard of yeah it's so

[00:55:10] bizarre you have this brain trust of like 50 years of institutional knowledge

[00:55:16] and some of these people are just now retiring like they joined up in the 70s

[00:55:22] like there they've been around while and they know stuff but for whatever reason

[00:55:27] it's capitalism they ignore all the brainiacs and they're like no we're gonna

[00:55:33] buy back stocks instead of investing in safety protocols or safety safety

[00:55:37] inspections but what you get yeah safety is for queer safety

[00:55:45] there's a safety queer yeah speaking of queer the word was trending on Twitter

[00:55:52] for a while the other day you remember this it was just the other day and it was

[00:55:57] because people were remembering a game of football all smeared a queer called smear

[00:56:03] the queer what the fuck is that I never heard of that he never played smear

[00:56:07] the queer I do not know queer a lot you break this down for me because I do not

[00:56:14] understand this at all I was never a sports guy I never played smear the

[00:56:17] queer and I hate the fact that I keep saying it I never played this game basically

[00:56:22] there are reasons just beat the shop your friends that sucks or a neighborhood

[00:56:29] or really a neighborhood kid like double sucks yeah that's not good this was

[00:56:38] a thing that we did huh it's a culture we drank out of the hose that we smeared

[00:56:42] with smeared the queer oh boy my mom said you can play smear the queer until the

[00:56:49] street lights come on then you gotta come home it was so odd it was like having

[00:56:53] culture shock at your own culture I had this I didn't know what the fuck that

[00:56:59] meant and I'm finding this out at the age of 43 for the first time because of

[00:57:05] Twitter look at this guy he's never smear the queer exactly I never have now

[00:57:10] granted I did grew up on each side of me in my in my old neighborhood it was all

[00:57:15] girls so they obviously never would have played smear the queer but and we keep

[00:57:20] saying we keep saying it by the way I guess the puzzle how mean some of them were

[00:57:26] I think they was still found way and their own light meant to play something

[00:57:30] a cool into smear the sugar I think for them the version of that would have

[00:57:35] been like when they would have me dress up and make upon that would be the smear

[00:57:41] the queer's lipstick maybe but that's about that's about as far as they would go

[00:57:45] it was not I was not built for that I would not pass I was not snatched

[00:57:52] Rupal Rupal would send me to sash a away I was not having it the only guys

[00:57:57] that were in my neighborhood were the guys that lived down the road and their

[00:58:01] dad had the iROC Z that he had on center blocks they worked on every weekend

[00:58:06] fucking docking plan on the tape deck the same guys who beat the shit out of

[00:58:11] me for no apparent reason with a bag full of WrestleMania tapes that they just

[00:58:16] gotten from the video still don't know what that was about

[00:58:21] just whack what the fuck is traumatized it's also just like higher random really

[00:58:29] fucking weird yeah I don't know maybe I talk some shit I don't remember what I

[00:58:33] said to them but maybe I said some I don't know but never smear the

[00:58:37] quid you ever get back at when your bullies and realize oh this feels bad

[00:58:41] yeah actually I cracked a bully in the back of the head with a skateboard one

[00:58:46] time him and squaring the back of the dog with the truck oh I was like oh I've

[00:58:51] done a terrible thing for a brief moment sure that satisfying but doy then

[00:58:55] you go oh I'm not thinking this through I mean he's not fucking with me sure sure

[00:59:01] no actually it wasn't me it was a guy named Mike but we were both being tormented

[00:59:07] by the same guy and so Mike shorter than anyone else but motherfucker played soccer

[00:59:13] okay and so this guy's fucking with him and Mike delivers the strongest kick

[00:59:20] I have ever seen to his bullies testicles he had to be carried away in an

[00:59:25] ambulance okay the bully was kicked so hard in his testicles that one of them

[00:59:32] fucking exploded okay he had to get a plastic replacement testicle okay I just

[00:59:39] want you to ball but you know you do hey people like the symmetry but but Michael

[00:59:45] had my unending respect from that day forward we did not see that guy again he

[00:59:51] changed schools and boy that's probably the best I've ever seen so I didn't do

[00:59:57] it personally but boy I kind of wish I did I have I have bully in high school in

[01:00:03] gym class punch me and knock when does that my glasses oof the face oof and he turned

[01:00:10] the way like showboat and from his friends yeah so I jumped on his back and

[01:00:14] pulling a rear naked choke and he was a little bit shorter than me okay and I just

[01:00:19] leaned back and just to the ground okay and fucking had my legs he could he the coach

[01:00:24] had to come by and be like he's fucking tap and dude oh he's going I mean I had him that

[01:00:34] was that was not a strong kid but I had him under the chin yeah the size advantage

[01:00:38] he had him yeah and that kid still fucked with me and guess what we had to do that

[01:00:42] second she's this you know one time wasn't enough okay I mean I go I mean I

[01:00:48] fuck man I talk about poor mean high school there was a couple times where it was like

[01:00:52] you know what man all right you all fucking play yeah I mean most of my bullies were

[01:00:58] never physical and so I never got physical with them plus you know I mean I mean I was

[01:01:03] physical person I'm more the roast beef in this scenario where I remember having a class

[01:01:09] with a guy named Sean why is he always Sean he's always Sean angry Irishman and he was

[01:01:20] like just some like dumb kind of burnt out bully and he may fund me for wearing vans shoes okay

[01:01:28] like because they weren't like Nike's I guess and he would be like it was a fag wearing those

[01:01:32] trucks and that's not even yeah God but like people thought he was fucking funny but he like

[01:01:39] ended up like knocking up a girl with twins like senior year high school and then dropping out

[01:01:43] so I feel like I kind of won that one by default yeah sometimes sometimes the quickest way

[01:01:50] the wins not even play exactly right exactly right God damn nature takes care of its own I think

[01:01:58] it's um it's it's pretty fucking funny oh yeah I mean I get I don't know I'm but I don't think

[01:02:05] those kids had like a or having like a great life yeah so unbalanced maybe not good but

[01:02:10] yeah but I mean hey it chocolate you got one in the dub column and that's all working it's all

[01:02:16] working sorry about I was smart enough not to knock up someone high school I was smart enough not

[01:02:22] to ever fucking high school so I so I like I'm sorry I have theory if I do everything but fucking

[01:02:32] yeah okay if I do everything but fucking like maybe like you know what I think I'm I'm gaming the

[01:02:37] system the catholic girls loophole the catholic girls yeah I don't know I've had like I had

[01:02:43] dudes I worked while I was 18 like worrying about stars and I was like you only lost your

[01:02:46] Virginia couple couple months ago fucking weird like yeah do I got tons of top I was gonna say yeah

[01:02:51] it's in finger pop tons of girls right like you ain't got worry yeah you ain't got you ain't got

[01:02:56] worry about me there was action just of a different kind you know I was like you know what I think

[01:03:02] I'm right I'm think I'm ready that I'm out I think I'm I don't have to become a statistic yes

[01:03:08] you're not wrong you know I was I felt I felt like I was again I was beating the system yep and

[01:03:17] found a workaround I'm gonna work around didn't have to worry about that part but like yeah it's

[01:03:22] just did you ever have a girl in high school who didn't even realize she was pregnant we had we

[01:03:28] had I went to an all boys catholic high school so I was a girl and I think she was on my

[01:03:34] 10th or 11th grade one my social studies classes who didn't even know she was pregnant until

[01:03:40] she thought she just had like heartburn dude was she was really sweet like really sure like

[01:03:47] quiet person I was like oh man that's so like it was like really there was like teen pregnancies at

[01:03:53] my high school where I was like yeah I mean like you know the world sucks some that suck you know whatever

[01:03:57] but that was like man like people were like the teacher was like oh you know such and such had

[01:04:02] her baby over the weekend and like half of us didn't know it was a thing yeah I mean it was like

[01:04:09] excuse me I thought that only happened to teachers in moms there was um one girl who got pregnant

[01:04:17] who was in a different series of social studies classes and the teacher was like

[01:04:22] this chick was nice she wasn't like there was some chicks that got knocked up where it's like

[01:04:27] god damn that kids life's got suck yeah but I see his future but like this girl was smart

[01:04:32] but it was like the teacher was like hey like she had her baby over Christmas break she's gonna

[01:04:37] come back y'all would be fucking nice to her cuz her parents ain't and we were like oh shit

[01:04:43] like like us like we're all fucking mean kids and we're like yeah not the same we're gonna

[01:04:49] we're gonna be very nice to her yeah and it's like one of those few things like oh kit we can

[01:04:54] get along yes just have to like no we just have to have these very broad strokes of what isn't

[01:05:00] isn't appropriate behavior otherwise it's all fucking Wii tabs and snap and bronze yes

[01:05:07] in the circle game and all that yeah and like I guess I'm also kind of thinking this because like my

[01:05:12] my 10 year anniversary or my 20 years come up oh yeah yeah and someone I'm

[01:05:17] Facebook friends with invited me to like the Facebook group for it oh boy it's really just

[01:05:21] like the popular kids tag each other but yeah but it's not like you all like are like doing like

[01:05:26] Mary K and like oh yeah and you all have a shit ton of fucking kids like damn okay

[01:05:33] guys that I'm like damn I remember like so it turns out turns out to chick that the rumor that she

[01:05:38] gave top behind the fucking McDonalds apparently she'd like do another things too which was getting

[01:05:43] married having the shit look kids sure why not still has the same haircut like still doesn't

[01:05:50] look bad it's just like one of those things like wow like I like you just like I showed you a

[01:05:55] photo by looking at like in like junior senior high school and I would not recognize you had

[01:06:00] I known you then and like I like look very different different facial structure like because I was

[01:06:06] incredibly skinny because I was on you know Adderall and Concera and all that sure but like some

[01:06:13] folks it's like yeah you just look like the same person you were in the high school you're just like

[01:06:18] older yeah it's very odd I want you to do that I went to my 20th couple years back and boy no one

[01:06:26] that I remembered was there so it was all these people who I knew their names but I couldn't place

[01:06:37] I'm standing there and I'm just like what am I here for no one that I was friends with showed up to

[01:06:46] this thing oh it was also during a snowstorms that also sucked but if I were single I would totally be

[01:06:51] like Seth Roganine that shit like Seth Roganine knocked up yeah yeah yeah yeah like absolutely

[01:06:56] positively without doubt like what's up mm-hmm I think but now I think I would probably just

[01:07:03] but the thing is like I don't think any of my friends that would go like they live in St. Louis

[01:07:07] they don't live in St. Louis anymore right now I don't think they would would travel I had that same problem

[01:07:12] yeah yeah like I don't know if I would if it was like people I like had like something other than

[01:07:16] like a neutral feeling about like they were going yeah maybe whatever be fun like but it's like

[01:07:21] it's just like it's just people that like yeah they're damn hey I'm like they're falling

[01:07:26] up like yeah like oh and like a fucking show knees or some show tight man how the dealership

[01:07:33] going huh okay how's your dad's a siding company taking you all right uh he um sewer line

[01:07:38] claps on them oh damn sorry to hear that oh but yours now right uh that's pretty tight

[01:07:44] those guys yes those were the guys that I went to high school this was dad owns dealership

[01:07:49] and so it's hey so how's the dealership you know like there's nothing most of the uh like

[01:07:54] better off kids I went to high school with like their parents either worked in tech

[01:07:58] but most of them like their dads were like a union blue collar like you know breadwinner

[01:08:04] like they had like a you they had like uh you know like tritions and shit like that

[01:08:08] sure farmers and things so they probably wouldn't go I mean you know who knows I think it's really

[01:08:14] just gonna be like the popular yeah that's because they want a basket that glory they peaked in high

[01:08:18] school and then they're gonna show them to get their accolades are I think something I don't

[01:08:24] think some of them were like that no but I think there are some of those people there yes because

[01:08:30] they've they've realized that that was about as good as it was going to get for them

[01:08:37] I like I would show it to be like hey I'm still alive well there's that yeah I didn't fucking rope

[01:08:42] I think if I went to my 20th and said I've never been the jail

[01:08:46] no yeah never been prison shocker yeah only ever been handcuffs once actually twice and that was

[01:08:53] uh legal arrest while covering civil rights stuff I think people would be like oh wow because I

[01:08:58] think uh I think I I think there are principles I had in high school they're mad that they didn't

[01:09:05] get me go and straighten the prisoner jail high school they didn't they couldn't get me they couldn't

[01:09:09] get me kicked out I think yeah I think there's specifically one principle that she is probably

[01:09:15] right now I got tired right now but she's sitting there at home being like I

[01:09:22] she would she would she would give me bullshit suspension and be laughing in my mom's face

[01:09:28] yeah damn yeah she was an absolute fucking devil woman anyways yes yeah fucking 20 year reunion

[01:09:35] yeah it was insane I mean I can't believe it's been 20 years this will be 25

[01:09:43] for me that's crazy yeah so this year I don't even know if we're gonna do it but yeah because

[01:09:48] last one was such a disaster with the weather and all but uh yeah 25 years now for me

[01:09:53] maybe you uh you can ask the guys about Smith's square hey remember that game we used to play

[01:09:59] nobody ever played it with me I don't know what the hell is going on is it because I did the

[01:10:03] really good cornhole oil impression I thought that was sure fire gonna make me really popular by the way

[01:10:10] I thought that was it you put the shirt over here I mean just I thought I didn't like it

[01:10:18] apparently not I don't know I'm very weird fucking did be very weird people school and people

[01:10:23] thought that was great yeah sorry I guess I guess Catholics exactly they don't care for it they don't

[01:10:29] they don't like the word bunghole I don't think they don't like the word bunghole no it's it's sacrilege

[01:10:33] jesus didn't say that word hey did say bunghole bunghole ain't in the Bible and that's what's

[01:10:41] funny is I do that voice but like these people are the most like straight laced oh they've got

[01:10:47] they've got they're they're fucking river trash blue blood yeah okay that's a great phrase

[01:10:54] and I'm gonna keep using that now now that I've heard it well folks that about doesn't

[01:10:59] for the show I'm gonna show Jason here back young old wood shed how he's how he's

[01:11:04] smeared the queer back in Spanish lake all right well in the meantime I'm gonna tell him how to

[01:11:09] find you online before you do whatever it is that you're gonna do to me if you want to regale us

[01:11:13] with uh tales of an appropriately named uh shame rituals that you did to each other uh during

[01:11:21] your upbringing you can find me uh at uh isha gui borg i sho t g u i d b o r d uh or a music photographer

[01:11:31] on most of the common social networks if you want to check out some uh foes I feel very strongly

[01:11:38] about that I have made over the last ten or so years you can go over to uh a music photographer

[01:11:44] free oh oh wait wait wait wait that's asshole music photographer that kind of last

[01:11:48] home music photographer it's just a foe if you want them dirty words baby girl you're gonna have to

[01:11:52] go over to a music photographer dot com mm-hmm yes right you like that shit you like that

[01:12:01] girl you like you like you like you like you like you like taking series of symbols and

[01:12:06] reinterpreting them as images and thoughts inside your head I bet you do I bet you do you

[01:12:11] you that shit you free I bet you do I bet you're all gonna check check the sag I got myself a

[01:12:17] rhyme addiction oh yeah uh well you can find me on most uh I'm just gonna walk right through that

[01:12:25] you can find me on most internet sites is videocrimed vidoc or if you're going on instagram and

[01:12:32] tiktok that's laser goose CEO as mentioned early in the episode it's also laser with an s

[01:12:39] cuz fuck you why are you asking me this question you can find the show four eight minutes dogs

[01:12:44] barking dot com shoot us an email jason at four eight minutes dogs barking dot com that's the number

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[01:12:55] dogs barking dot com give us a call tell us about your repressed teenage trauma three one four

[01:13:01] two four six nine seven six six that's three one four ohoi poo and as always support the show patreon

[01:13:08] dot com slash four eight minutes of dogs the challenge still stands Brian Garrow monster home delivery

[01:13:18] one of these days one of these days we'll do we're gonna have a bucket we're gonna have a bucket

[01:13:22] for the collective vomit that we do in watching them I guess the musketeer from pH

[01:13:28] just make sure the vomit got good just get a good yeah good make sure it's in there and if you want

[01:13:34] to see is yeah I get the fish sandwich at pH rose yeah I get kind of do but if you want to hear us

[01:13:40] do a full length commentary track for a obscure Japanese vomit fetish porno patreon.com slash four

[01:13:48] minutes dogs sign up at the ten dollar tier if this is a great opportunity to make me suffer if

[01:13:53] you're so and it'll say exactly show it boom or bill ten years ago exactly so do that thing

[01:13:59] and as we always say at this time namaste good luck eat the knife give mommy a good good fucking don't

[01:14:04] forget to floss but a bar scotch bar scotch sure why not