Rotating A List of Slurs in Three Dimensions

[00:00:00] You know my agent William Morris just laughs at me when I tell him what I do for a living. Hey George, we know it's your new show, but sorry we have to cancel it. The ass munch I'm sitting across from has a sister with Disney who's doing Lilo and Stitch and Lion King 8 and everything. You think these motherf*****s would throw me a bone?

[00:00:20] 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking.

[00:00:30] W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w

[00:01:00] it they were being little freaks all right well it is thirsty thursday wait no it's wednesday it's uh wacky wednesday i'm trying to think like if i was an alcoholic 19 year old at like cape gerardo that has already gotten three mips before classes even started for the semester wacky wednesday i don't know it's gotta be no um like whip it wednesday whip it wednesday okay uh whiskey wednesday whiskey wednesday yeah i like that one uh wet wednesday wet one oh

[00:01:29] yeah wet wednesday wet wednesday oh yeah you go down to the poor house and yeah you get a little slopped up you get a little wet with your boys whose whose parents all own like siding and furniture businesses and one of them's name you never really knew his nickname or his real name but you knew him like oh that's wolfman yeah that's bongo yeah

[00:01:54] that's uh that's carlos carlos yeah exactly chris del chris yeah it's uh 40 minutes dogs barking uh my name is jason that's brian we're having a weird little wet wednesday of our own in the in the chalet as it were thank you all we stuck around for last week's episode i know it was a bit of a downer uh i think we had some fun i think we did some some interesting stuff we had to talk about it all

[00:02:20] i felt like it was necessary and then we got to two hours and i went oh boy we're not even having you know yeah we really were uh stretching the pain and chewed the fat we were doing some martyr shit we saw what was on the other side and it was not good yeah we're uh so we're back this week with a little bit of a more normal a more normal show yeah i mean not that this is all sunshine rainbows but

[00:02:49] you know more normal uh i promise it is 99 elon free so we're not going to have to talk about him it's going to be a good time so we're going to start with something now elon adjacent one of the groper teen hunger force has uncovered apparently a internal group chat within the national security administration is according to the daily mail tulsi gabbard director of national intelligence was irate

[00:03:15] and promised to root out nsa agents who held lurid sex chats in sensitive government chat rooms in the name of dei well there's a whole lot wrong with that sentence there's a lot going on there but listen you're you take away their palates of rip it and nsa particularly the veterans are going to get a little froggy you're going to get a little real weird out yeah i've i've met some people that have worked

[00:03:42] for the nsa or have worked with the nsa and like whatever feels like man i just need a fucking job kind of thing yeah i came back like yeah that was that was really fucking weird you know bad yeah yeah just like it's just like a bunch of people that like you know every day is a steak dinner because like there's nothing else going on it's just doing deep state shit and drinking yourself to

[00:04:08] death so a lot of these group chats are pretty much as to be expected now this article quotes christopher rufo hannah goodman both of whom are let's just say journalists in name only uh they get hand-fed information and then they put it out because it fits their ideological bent but they're the source on this so we have to kind of go with it um it says these chats in the nsa's intel link messaging program

[00:04:37] were quote legitimized as part of nsa's commitment to diversity equity inclusion pretty sure that's not what this was this is co-workers blowing off steam talking about shit bullshitting yeah it just happened to be done over a chat client you don't do that on the work chat i'm sorry i mean don't do it i've said some shit on the work chat well i've said i've said some shit in the work chat well um i have your have you ever worked in an office where there was a a slack channel or a

[00:05:07] team's channel that was dedicated to being like why haven't they fired this person they won't stop saying fucked up shit yes but that's but then but then we got rid of slack and and that went away so these chats quote agents who have claimed to have undergone gender affirming surgeries or gender reassignment surgery and including one who called their artificial genitals quote everything others casually referred to how much they enjoyed having sex upon having the surgery in the work

[00:05:34] chat saying quote i've found that i like being penetrated never liked it before grs but all the rest is just as important as well another bragged that the surgery allowed them to quote wear leggings or bikinis without having to wear a gaff under it others discussed laser hair removal with one saying quote getting my butthole zapped by a laser was shocking yeah estrogen injections were referenced hey i enjoy

[00:05:58] helping other people experience boobs others talked about polygamy ethical non-monogamy one claiming they were part of a nine member polycule okay yeah um who cares surprise i think this goes on in most workplaces on some level at my previous job had all kinds of conversations about shit i didn't work with any trans people but there were trans people that worked in my building and like had to set people

[00:06:27] straight and give them better context and like sometimes you're not like doing it that'll be like parading you're kind of like hey you know you might say that to the wrong person and all of a sudden find that like you're getting the shit kicked out of you right don't do that yeah so i got i got course correct you as i said last week about the summer help at previous job you know like you don't have to think like your parents you can have different opinions it's okay so rufo posting here at real chris

[00:06:55] rufo on twitter exclusive all caps grossman hannah and i have obtained logs from the nsa's secret transgender sex chat room in which nsa cia and dia employees discuss genital castration artificial vaginas piss fetishes sex polycules and gang bangs all on government time talking about sucking and fucking when they should be helping israel how can we stand for this ladies and gentlemen mark levin

[00:07:24] oh mr producer get michelle obama in here uh and then elon must quote tweeting rufo with well at least we know what they did last week double cry laughing emoji says the guy with a fucked up dick right your gender affirming surgery uh-huh hair plugs shit you did your jawline your fucking uh hair plugs like i don't know man fucking something about glass houses you know

[00:07:54] i i would say that he should start one of his cars in the garage and just sit but unfortunately an electric vehicle doesn't create exhaust um futile gesture yeah and they said well you know we're gonna we're gonna be placing these people on leave and and all that so yes unfortunately those folks did get fired now in non musk news somewhat related because it is about you know of folks of uh

[00:08:19] how shall we say what was the old 90s uh catchphrase alternative lifestyles remember that that was the way this courtesy of adam bumas writing for ryan broderick's garbage day the headline tumblr users broke global music charts with a dance track full of homophobic slurs oh so yes

[00:08:40] the slur song it says here credited to tumblr user bigfoot's dash biggest dash fan rules and is also completely not safe for work any discussion has to start there it is a well-produced catchy track that would be illegal to play on the radio which obviously makes it go harder the song peaked at number four on the itunes u.s dance charts last tuesday the day before it was also the 83rd most popular

[00:09:09] single in the u.s on itunes the song started from a tumblr post from last year when multiple users shared stories about human resources training courses that used homophobic slurs in the context of what not to say i yeah it's like cartman walking through the tunnel of insensitivity yeah he like he comes

[00:09:31] i want to go again so bigfoot's biggest fan did speak to garbage day saying that they created the song in davinci resolve and fruity loops starting with a backing track and a text-to-speech program reading a real hr training presentation quote when i did the text-to-speech it worked super well with the backing track so much i decided it needed to be done properly they said so i went back and copied in

[00:09:58] two more lists of slurs the result blew up on tumblr immediately and bigfoot's biggest fan quickly submitted the song to itunes and spotify tumblr blocked the post from being promoted on its blaze sponsored post system and on january 30th the australian recording industry association rejected it from a spot on their digital charts however none of that stopped the song from charting on itunes

[00:10:25] or doing impressive numbers on spotify and youtube hundred thousand plays on both platforms as it says of course people responded bigfoot's biggest fan tumblr staff finding out that their site has crowdsourced a viral song only to discover is 100% unusable in any corporate marketing scenario it's a screen grab from arrest development with uh george senior saying i have the worst fucking user base

[00:10:53] and then uh chaser here on tumblr australian music industry god we wish local music was more popular and the monkey paw than curls it's a banger let's have let's just throw a little bit of this in here booty bandit twinkle toes bender butchie castro clone ben boy fairy big homo one who plays the patron bone light in love for dutch cousins scissor sisters girly man pitcher catcher dives for fans

[00:11:20] nancy francy broadway fan hofter mary packer queen batting for the other team donut bumpers one who swish long-term roommates bottom bitch beaver eater bean picker lgbt mafia nelly jesse swings both ways avoid these terms in your workplace donut bumpers yeah a long time roommates donut bumper that's one i've never heard before that one before i mean you know australia is a land of progression

[00:11:49] they've definitely got some ones where i'm like they're down at the billabong drinking their fosters thinking of these slurs we can only imagine because they're on the other hemisphere they're rotating a list of slurs in their minds in three dimensions jesus christ well the last bit of news this week is fire festival is back baby cool yeah yeah this according to the av club

[00:12:19] they saw they saw the uh warp tours coming back and they're like hold our beer we can do something way more embarrassing we got this check this out yeah this uh drew gillis writing for the av it would almost be better if billy mcfarland had a bridge to sell us at least then we'd have a potential route off the island instead the fire festival founder is plowing through with his plans for the second iteration of the festival appearing on the today show try to make buying a ticket to this

[00:12:48] event not seem like a horrible idea quote fire 2 really isn't about the past and it's not really about me it's about taking the vision which is strong mcfarland said this morning you do almost have to hand it to him for running what sounds like the exact same game a second time and here's where it gets interesting there are no artists yet booked but mcfarland promises quote artists select across

[00:13:14] electronic hip-hop pop and rock wow this sounds a lot like uh evolution festival here in st louis like hey we really know what we're doing we just know we want to make some money and of course there might be he says also they might have you know there might be a some some clowns some yeah we'll have a petting zoo yeah sure an mma champ to teach you techniques in the morning he also says god so yeah you know

[00:13:39] as someone that's uh worked for a scam artist for a con artist your eyes are bigger than the plate buddy and you said there's million dollar tickets there are tickets ranging from 1400 to 1.1 million dollars uh that one supposedly will see the concert goer quote on a boat luxury yachts that we partner with who will be docked and parked outside the island it is a three-day festival on isla mujeres

[00:14:07] an island near cancun the island of women by the way islamo had us but at least if the artists don't pull through again drew continuing you can go underwater or in a small plane with a guy who spent a little less than four years in prison for fraud charges i mean what could go wrong i know plenty of concert promoters and people that work on that side of the industry who maybe haven't always done the best

[00:14:33] thing right um have always tried to stay on the right side of legality right and it's coming up soon too let me look at the date actually it was originally slated for april uh now it is uh may 30th to june second mcfarland quoted in the today piece we just need the extra month to give our partners time to get everything ready so so i'm gonna lend some of my expertise here from my experience in the

[00:15:00] industry uh if you're not getting contracts signed and getting logistics sorted out yeah by now you would have to start doing that six months from now or six months ago yes because even just like booking a show like on a tour like there's stuff that i know that has a high potential of occurring at the

[00:15:23] venues i work with in you know the fall that i knew about last fall for better or worse most musicians touring musicians their tours are based around playing festivals and this is a destination festival so this isn't like oh we can hit you know shaky knees in atlanta sure on the way back to the west coast we can hit up beale street blues festival or whatever it's not like oh oh hey we can knock out

[00:15:53] like five or six festivals a month here and play some shows in between on smaller markets or sport markets well this is also you know mexico a foreign country so country you got to get visas you got to get people time to get their shit together yeah fuck man i can't tell you how many times a tour didn't go through in the u.s with like a british or european band because like everything else worked out but visas it's more common than you think yeah yeah it's like centipedes in your vagina it's more common than

[00:16:20] you think it's it's insane this is it's gonna crash and burn i don't even think this is gonna really get off the ground i think he is hoping that this round of press and this like schoidenfreude hype is going to be enough that they can kind of will it into existence but logistically it doesn't sound like he has enough of an idea formed for something that's supposed to happen within six

[00:16:47] months no and especially considering the fact that he still owes according again to today a minimum of half a mil from the festival will go toward the 26 million dollars in restitution mcfarland still owes so he's still he's still behind the eight ball for 26 mil on this and if he does this a second time you know it's gonna be worse have you seen the fire fest documentaries i've seen one of the two i

[00:17:15] don't remember which one it was i think it was the netflix one where they interviewed the guy who was like yeah i'll go suck a dick or something i can't remember what the exact is i can't remember either but i i watched both of them i think in a single weekend with a couple friends hell yeah this is during the pandemic when there was nothing else going on it was like you know uh an adventure would be like us driving 30 minutes to the grandma phone to get like takeout sandwiches and like whoever remembered

[00:17:41] to bring a mask going right that kind of shit like that's kind of that was the height of the day wild times back then and hey you know what according depending on what happens in china in the next couple months might be back there again soon enough everything's everything old is new is again yep yeah uh basically how i feel about this guy is that he is a con man oh yeah but he also doesn't

[00:18:05] seem like he doesn't seem like he's trying to be a con man he just doesn't know the extent of his abilities like yes over promising yes and doesn't understand that like you have to back up your words with actions and proof and all these other things you just can't talk a good game he's one of those guys who thinks that just by speaking it into the universe it's going to happen and buddy no no

[00:18:34] not unless you have a foundation you got the wheels going you got the gears of turning it's absurd this is like i feel like this is a guy that i'm gonna say it he should be giving like mcdonald's to own and run just like here have your have your little thing franchise amount yeah here just be just own your franchise business a quiz knows whatever it is a fucking steak and shake you know yeah you can go up and down the list that's really the scale of things because

[00:19:01] at that point the amount of damage you can cause a little bit smaller you're not gonna go to jail for six years for fraud yeah and owe people millions and millions of dollars 26 million dollars that's insane that is a lot of money even for you know somebody who has money that's still a lot of money you know hopefully you can get blink 182 this time oh that's right didn't they bail like as

[00:19:28] soon as they saw the contract i went nah we're good there's something like that there's a couple people that were like tentatively signed on i believe but like backed out particularly yeah ja rule was on because usually you have on most shows these days unless it's a door deal you have an agreement of like okay when you like arrive on the venue you know like there might be or even beforehand like you're at least getting your per diem and you know everything you know agreement on the rider and all

[00:19:57] that like okay you got my fucking aunt annie's mustard or whatever whatever it is yeah um people like to joke about the whole brown m&ms thing but that was a very clever bit by van halen just a bit of a side a side note i got this great book from martin atkins the drummer for pig face and a public image limited and a bunch of other bands he would drum for killing joke for a while but uh hell yeah he explained the brown m&ms thing and the brown m&ms thing was van halen had this very

[00:20:26] expensive very complicated stage show and they were touring around the i believe it was van halen two yeah era and they wanted to make sure that whoever was doing the setup the day but you know hours or the day before they arrived had done what they needed to do and so they added in on their

[00:20:50] writer we want a bowl of m&ms but with the brown m&ms removed and what they would do is they would arrive at the venue they'd go straight to the green room or whatever room they had set up and if they saw brown m&ms in the bowl they knew to ask the tech crew well what did you not check then because there was something something you didn't read it all the way through oh yeah this was their

[00:21:16] way of like making sure that the stage was set up and then all this technical stuff because they had a couple of times apparently where they shit got broken and then they had to replace it the label then tacked it on to what they owed them and so they got clever with the writer but then it became through word of mouth and all this other stuff this tale of rock and roll excess it's like no this was

[00:21:38] actually very smart of them to do to make sure that someone had actually read the 10 page technical specs which then ended with the food writer making sure that the local crew is on their shit which is not uh always easy to ascertain no as someone that has looked at writers and has done

[00:22:05] uh fetching for writers it's it's tough sometimes like sometimes you can't find and there was i forget which band it was only even god i think even the fucking i think the firebird actually lost like a good amount of money on this show but on the writer was like a hundred dollar bottle of whiskey one of the owners of the venue was like that's pretty fucking ballsy yeah i'll fucking do that might not get other things on their writer but i'll get that hundred dollar bottle of whiskey and the only person that gave a shit about that whiskey was the tour manager and he was like i can't believe you

[00:22:34] you guys actually did this and uh he was like man get some shot glasses we're all doing no it's fucking tasty okay what it was but you do things like that and all of a sudden the agency that represented that band and like their label all of a sudden like oh okay the firebirds takes care of our guys yep so we're more likely to put our bands in the firebird for a while until they fuck up or whatever

[00:23:03] if he's trying to do it in june that's beginning of festival season yeah most bands for their festivals have already they're starting to announce they've got stuff on the books they're booked who you gonna fucking get vanilla ice and kid rock uh maybe they're gonna get the gathering to come down to mexico i don't know a lot of those guys can't travel internationally

[00:23:25] so you know it's a tech nine maybe you know he might be able to make it but uh you know the funniest thing i ever found about tech nine yeah is that apparently he's just like a really sweet dude yeah but the thing that i found out was that i had buddy he went to college in kc and that's like you know where tech nine's from yeah yeah one of the things that he did to make some money inside was

[00:23:49] that he was um like a nanny oh okay and he was a nanny for like some really nice well-to-do families and one of them were like like next door neighbors are like grew up in like the same subdivision as like where tech nine was from he's like yeah tech nine grew up with some money oh yeah i've done some hood rat shit but he got he grew up with some money i'm like oh okay yeah it's all it's all image and acting come on yeah but uh on the on the flip side there are people

[00:24:19] out there that are nasty ass motherfuckers and freaks like cool keith who has shown his writer like i want like dollar general soda i want like gas station fried chicken oh yeah i remember one time the one time he played the firebird which was terrible but when the few shows i've seen bert refund money about he's like i feel embarrassed that i booked this but the show's over we're all getting our photos with cool keith he starts asking us where like he can find prostitutes and like porno

[00:24:47] shops i'm like it's a little late for st louis yeah i was gonna say all that stuff closed down he's on twitter that night tweeting about like yo we're we're gonna buy some porno in st louis at like one in the morning and people are just like you got the you got the way for the shops to open up man he got away till like 9 a.m and go downtown yeah yeah you gotta wait for church to get out yeah he was probably like well shit i gotta i gotta be somewhere so i'm out of here yeah fucking cool

[00:25:14] keith i've only seen him live twice and both times were disappointing yeah never meet your heroes kind of style or is it just that he wasn't putting on a good guy to talk to he's fucking weird i think he's probably one of the people if you've been in the industry in like the last 15 20 years you probably have a cool keith story if you've been around enough you earned your fucking you earned

[00:25:39] your fucking uh stripes yeah you probably have a cool keith story i feel like that's like the dark side of things you probably have a cool key story and on the good side of things you probably have like an ezra firman story if you're like legit well speaking of smelling like wet dog it is crypto scam of the week you're listening to 48 minutes of dogs barking the podcast and now it's

[00:26:03] time for the crypto scam of the week it's not so much a scam this week as a fucking tragedy that turned into several scams it's weird the tone shift is is going to be a little odd so crypto shift is here folks vibe shift is really fucking here cryptopolitan.com reporting this i have a feeling some of these sites that i i cite in this segment are fucking ai generated but i cannot tell

[00:26:28] i can't either a crypto trader known as mr fuck you shot himself live on twitter after losing his last 500 in a meme coin rug pull on friday night before pulling the trigger mr fuck you loaded a revolver on stream and said if i die make me a meme coin he pulled the trigger three times

[00:26:51] and died the live stream continued over 30 minutes after his death while the crypto community reacted in real time as meme coins using his name flooded the market within minutes twitter user at destroy nectar put it perfectly the meme coin community is pure evil this guy named mr fuck you went live on x

[00:27:19] slash twitter to play russian roulette just to pump a coin and unfortunately passed away mr fuck you who also went by i'm really poor was 23 according to users on twitter and reddit some of his posts they say show a bit of mental health struggles some in the community believe the suicide was also tied to a breakup as he used to talk about his shorty but suddenly stopped around two weeks before the

[00:27:43] incident minutes after he died a meme token called mysticoin appeared with a developer sending him again the deceased 70 of the total supply before his death reactions on crypto twitter were mixed some traders rushed to buy the token betting on the hype others comment condemned the community as i'm doing now one twitter user broke it down so let me get this straight this guy starts streaming live

[00:28:12] on x twitter gets scammed asked for refunds pulls out a six shooter says if i day make a meme of me pulls the trigger three times dies stream continues for 30 minutes and people instantly create a meme coin what the fuck yeah i mean there's a reason why you call them degenerates dgens sure yeah um nothing's sacred because it's this is like pure fucking like late capitalist dystopian shit it's grim

[00:28:41] yeah we can talk about you know fart coin and butthole and yeah these shitty fucking meme coins but um people really do fucking lose their asses i can't remember if we talked about this the other day but i don't know if you saw the coffeezilla tweet about how like you know perhaps the best way to

[00:29:04] onboard new people to crypto wasn't to uh repeatedly scam and griff them over and over again yeah which is basically what has happened i showed you a tweet yesterday i believe it was where someone had ran the numbers and basically showed that like pump dot fun pretty much everything on there except for

[00:29:28] like four or five tokens is cratered yeah out of thousands that were launched and basically show it in most meme coins right now at least from this cycle they all look the same they all look they go upward they kind of hang out and all-time high maybe reach a second all-time high and you know

[00:29:51] that might have started before the election and now that trump has been dismantling the world economy for god who knows why everything has basically given back all of its gains so you're seeing just a ton of people over the last six or so months just get absolutely fucking fleeced there was that guy scrooge a couple years ago who lost his ass i forgot what fucking coin end up taking his own life it was really

[00:30:18] fucking sad sucked like that dude actually had like a good day job making like a 100k a year like in the real industry and it's like you gotta wonder how bad he fucked himself that that seemed like a reasonable choice um this is the dark side of it and this is one i'm sure of dozens of stories this just happens to be one that's being told because it's it's hard to ignore so the mirror us

[00:30:47] reporting that while it was initially not known who the streamer was his username was at mrfuckyou it was later confirmed by bitcoin protocol to be 23 year old arnold harrow you couldn't even rent a car according to the go fund me the quote here uh he um left behind a one-year-old daughter three sisters it's a fucking tragedy man uh they're about halfway on the go fund me uh as of this

[00:31:14] writing i believe this was a couple days ago uh they're about 24 000 out of the 50 000 goal on the go fund me it doesn't really matter what the developer gives to the deceased because it's the human cost and this is the thing that like okay we poke fun a lot on this show about this stuff but this guy was in deep and he thought this was the way out it there's got to be some kind of reckoning

[00:31:41] about this i know it was self-inflicted so this one may not be the the use case but there's there's a cost to all this shit that goes beyond the usual stuff we talk about when it's oh it's you know destroying the environment or it's it's you know it's fucking with people's livelihoods this man died 23 year old guy with a one-year-old died and we can pin it to this scene he was in the online casino

[00:32:11] right uh so if you see any uh mr fuck you coins obviously avoid them they're clearly going to be a cash grab and a scam that's i think the biggest warning we can give you that is financial advice that is financial i'm gonna say all those coins have probably gone to fucking zero unfortunately i would imagine i would imagine you know and probably a couple people got fucked too i mean fucking the trump coin has given back most of its fucking gains trump melania there's like three or

[00:32:40] four that were released in the same time period i think we covered three in one night world coin or world fun forum or something there was like three or four fucking usa coins like all kinds of shit man like it's the fucking noise the signal ratio with crypto is insane and there's so much shit out there that's just design to take your fucking money and to go off to north korea some assholes bank account

[00:33:05] you know some dude in gana gets to buy a couple chickens you talked about it being a casino well at least at the casino there's drinks and pretty girls and shows and there's a reason to be there other than losing money this is taking all the fun out of it reducing it straight to tragedy and it's gonna keep happening and this obviously this isn't the first no this has happened a couple times probably more

[00:33:33] than we know i can think of several not great crypto scam of the week um anything related to miss to fuck you um that's bad yeah so brian are you signed up for couponbug.com no i'm not i love couponbug.com what am i missing out on tonight's main story is a story about having fun online we figured you needed a bright spot after last

[00:33:59] week's dirge of badness and annoying other people in video games is probably the most fun you can have online these days that doesn't involve you know making threats against an elected official so we're talking about specifically trolling in team fortress 2 we love team fortress 2 team fortress 2 has been

[00:34:25] out for jesus was it 20 years now uh 17 or 18 years that's very close okay we're almost there 16 although like gosh it was the beginning of steam because that was when the orange box and all that was kind of coming out box yeah so this was if you pre-ordered orange box you got to play the open quote beta which really was just the finished game a week early and uh i have a very distinct memory of just

[00:34:52] basically playing tf2 for like a week straight and there was a mod that was being created at the same time called fortress forever okay which was supposed to be a source mod interpretation of team fortress classic okay and they got kind of bamboozled by tf2 releasing a week early so they threw their mod out

[00:35:20] as well so it was basically just playing fortress forever and tf2 for like a month or so and like fortress forever was very old school very dedicated to the original ethos and design language of the original team fortress but that's not what people wanted no this was the beginning of games feeling a

[00:35:45] little bit less like quake or unreal tournament and feeling more like you know well class based yeah i feel like the first game yeah 2007 here it says uh i feel like this is one of the first games to really get exposure through new avenues like youtube going back even further i mean originally

[00:36:11] team fortress was a mod for quake team fortress classic was a remake in the half-life engine and then team fortress 2 came maybe eight years later yeah 99 to 2007 so yeah eight years later it went from a fan-made mod for quake to an official product from valve creators of half-life they had worked on it for a very very long time so much so that even wired magazine considered it vaporware because it took them six years

[00:36:39] to even get to a certain point and then yeah tf2 finally came out in 2007 with the release of source the source the source game engine it really changed the game in a lot of ways because it was very cartoony it had a very distinct art style unlike anything at the time a lot of stuff was still kind

[00:36:59] of in that uh unreal yeah brown no you're right brown brown video gaming this was xbox 360 ps3 era so yes everything was very brown a lot of bloom you know big lights but this was very cartoony you know it was colorful you could easily figure out that a character was a certain class from across the map

[00:37:24] there was a lot of stuff that tf2 did that made it kind of the platonic ideal of what an online multiplayer game was and it was from that popularity and then a lot of people got on it you know because we talked about online half-life griefing in a previous episode oh with g-man squad with the g-man squad so those guys were doing it on you know much older graphics much older stuff and

[00:37:53] when tf2 hit the opportunities for griefing suddenly exploded because a lot of people i mean it won a bunch of awards people called it like one of the best video games ever made like the sales for the orange box were out of this world it basically created steam as an online platform i would say orange box yeah is a huge adoption vehicle for steam because up until that point steam was a little

[00:38:20] dicey people still had some weird taste in their mouth about half-life 2 being like you had to register for steam if you're right pc and you know people felt like they didn't really own the game in the same way they did like if they owned it they had like a physical disc but tf2 was undeniably

[00:38:41] so fucking fun so fucking creative in its art style and its sense of humor and it these characters you know they had like you know the meet the heavy video i think every class except for the pyro got a meet the video they had great voice acting you know there was comics there was a surreal take on

[00:39:07] australian machismo with manco and um just really fucking funny some really clever use of artistic direction to convey like you're saying like in you know silhouettes team fortress 2 it's two teams it's red team it's blue team blue team their territory is always going to be more industrial

[00:39:31] and more cement and cool colors red team is always going to be kind of red and burnt sienna like in more like organic materials and things like that so a lot of smart stuff a lot of really smart game design that's been seen in a lot of different properties in a lot of different games since then like a very influential game i mean like this the line between this and overwatch is pretty apparent

[00:40:00] you got also got to understand that between 2005 and 2007 is when eric falchick and a couple of the other guys from old man murray were making the move to valve so these were guys that came up in the early online era that that had played unreal tournament online and and kind of maybe they didn't have a hand directly in team fortress 2 but they were around the team and you know those kind

[00:40:26] of influences from those early early online gaming days these were people they hired these people that knew what they were doing and god damn did they do it you know yeah they they got the right people and they got the right people to come in and do everything you know from the art to everything so fucking clever um just to see because that game was a development hell for so long and you know stuff like duke dukem forever which is which is a famous development hell game

[00:40:55] finally gets released and it's boy it feels dated immediately but this felt fresh and invigorating and just fuck man it was so much fucking fun and i mostly played on the something awful servers which were oh lost continent servers so there was like i have a borea stuff like that they were named like you know like atlantis and gosh just play the fuck out and i the time was still posting in ycs your

[00:41:24] console sucks which was kind of the anything goes video game forum on something awful and there was tons of memes and in jokes and you know the videos that we're going to be talking about it was it was seeing the names on there it's like those people are still on my steam friend list i still see them like you know firing up baldur's gate 3 or like fallout new vegas every once in a while or like or i might

[00:41:50] have actually hopped in a couple games with them oh man hell divers because that was real easy they that one of the cool things about hell divers is you can just someone your list is playing you can just jump in their game big bang yeah real fucking easy so that was real cool like they're like oh shit i like i forgot about these people i forgot you know something awful kind of gave us team what we're going to talk about which is the team roomba videos yeah uh which was something that came from

[00:42:18] ppp which was princess party palace princess party palace yes yes one of the the guys saying uh couponbug.com i think was a guy who went under the name patio furniture patty well patio furniture was one of many people saying couponbug.com i'll give you right here a little clip of this here let's just hit this have you heard about couponbug.com i love couponbug.com couponbug.com couponbug.com

[00:42:46] i love couponbug.com you heard about couponbug.com couponbug.com couponbug.com couponbug.com a lot of this griefing came out of the fact that tf2 was a little buggy very buggy i mean i want to say about probably the first six to twelve months of its release oh much longer than that but they kept trying to squash all the bugs as far as stuff like that was super game breaking or like you know

[00:43:14] cause people to leave servers but some of that stuff could be really funny if you griefed it right and you didn't do it again like people will find exploit particularly on the lc servers they might fuck around with that exploit for an hour or two get the footage make a fucking troll video and go from and and put it to bed because they didn't want to get their steam id banned from the servers no no

[00:43:38] but we're all fucking goons and we all like fucking a shit show and the game was never that serious to begin with god i kind of lost my train of thought there but yeah there was so many little fucking memes like in on the map two fort yes yeah there's these two two forts for people don't know it's two bases on the opposite side of each other and there's a no man's land middle ground that has a little bridge and has a roof on it over the bridge right and there are all kinds of

[00:44:07] different ways for different people in different classes to use that space to get from one side the other it's a capture the flag or capture the intelligence one of the things that snipers would do because they would hang out on these perches is that they would have sprays and they would be something really offensive like like goat see gay porn gay porn uh meat spin yep a popular one uh on the

[00:44:31] lost continents servers was a an anime gif of a woman being fucked doggy style and the penis coming out of her nose or mouth so people would spray that so you wouldn't like you would be like oh i want to snipe them like it was real fucking real fucking uh real fucking dirty boy hours there on the lcs and uh 242

[00:44:55] furious was another one yeah 242 furious was one of the folks from team rumba uh gentleman by the name of floor underscore master i think i still might be steam friends with him oh man well because uh a lot of people are continue saying that floor master died but i think that's just a joke i think this is just a meme but uh yeah floor master founder and owner uh it says here according to the wiki for itself okay

[00:45:24] great it's unknown when 2f2f began and it likely began late 2007 yeah because that's when team fortress 2 came up it began its forum so it had its own forum forums.242furious.com 2008 floor master created it let's see here the 242 furious community steam group began february 2008

[00:45:47] and there was a youtube channel strictly for 242f 31 videos uploaded from april to january of 2010 now of course the server has shut down they've tried to bring it back a couple times but yeah 2012 the server shut down uh it said the forum stated that the server and forums were seized by law enforcement

[00:46:10] for running an illegal gambling operation but this was a joke by formaster they briefly returned 2018 with the same ip and with formaster as the admin so here's some of the the the best of one of my favorite things is that 242 fury has introduced something that team fortress 2 did not have which was goomba stomping meaning that onto fort you could jump from the roof onto another player's head

[00:46:39] and kill them a la goombas in super mario brothers here's a little bit of this one of the users by the way is remember when sex felt nice yeah the the great username unmighty noob so yeah and some of these maps would take forever which is part of where a lot of the the trolling and like some of the memes came from is like particularly like dust bowl

[00:47:08] uh-huh could take fucking forever or some of the there's a long run back on dust bowl from one side of the map to the other yeah so like a lot of servers by default didn't have a time limit for dust bowl and a couple other maps right sometimes i swear i probably played a couple games of dust bowl that like lasted like an hour or two oh that took forever and there's a couple of maps like hydro that got banned from a lot of servers because they could go on forever yeah you

[00:47:35] could you could play on hydro for three hours yeah i just so happened to pause this particular video though as player black hussein obama has joined the game no no no you got it wrong black hussein osama osama oh see is it yeah let me take that again the tf2 usernames were were so good um but yeah a lot of the fucking in jokes and stuff just came from the fact that these games could just

[00:48:03] take fucking forever but you were still having fun again they continued to make jokes about floor master dying uh the team rumba.com website in 2008 this site is dedicated to the memory of ryan floor master mannian and it was this huge poem you know you have uh struck upon something

[00:48:27] when the folks at the escapist would write about it this was from 2008 kyron gillen writing this under the the category power of laughter the power of prayer have you griefed with your lord tonight you notice something is amiss he writes the scout is stuck halfway up the wall this is problematic

[00:48:53] normally it'd only be problematic for the scout but the wall in which he's stuck is the doorway to the room where the rest of his team are he's jammed himself in such a way that the door is equally stuck with a gap that's just too small for the team to escape someone speaks up is he glitched or is he being a douchebag there's a notable pause before a voice answers i think it's a little column a

[00:49:19] little column b at which point the scout starts asking general knowledge questions promising to move if they get them right can you remember the capital of egypt where is bile manufactured you manage to get an answer and you're free the game continues and you wonder what the hell that was about the next thing you know you're in one of team roomba's griefing videos in the same way that the sort of

[00:49:43] hugs and kisses types of gamer has found new ways to express his enthusiasm i see yeah i don't hear fucking australians are weird i'm gonna get this one it's bad writing first of all in the same way that the sort of hugs and kisses type of gamer has found new ways to express his enthusiasm with easily available internet video so has the more negative one i have never met a hugs and kisses type of gamer

[00:50:07] unless they're talking about animal crossing anyway yeah arriving at the initial crest of enthusiasm towards val's team fortress 2 team roomba's video showing an array of petty hilarious and oft imaginative cruelty was an immediate memetic sensation jesus this writing griefing is usually little more than plain sadism but with the right soundtrack and frame perfect editing team roomba's videos have turned it into

[00:50:33] a kind of comedy performance or at least something other than just being a douchebag couponbug.com boy this writing is rough chatting to the actually charming team roomba in a series of emails roomba mainstays juror aka jeremy and floor underscore master aka ryan are amused it's kind of weird to hear us

[00:50:58] characterized as doing performance comedy but i think it's fair to say says ryan i do think there is a difference between griefing to make people miserable and the sort of tongue-in-cheek griefing that was most prominent in our second tf2 video just over a year since their first primitive steps into online movie making they now dominate the front page google search for griefing video and they've learned a lot along the way

[00:51:26] as one might expect the roomba experience wasn't exactly planned roomba as some sort of griefing organization or comedy troupe however you want to see it is really a new thing for us i'm not sure we consider it to exist at that level yet says ryan to us roomba is still just a group of internet friends who play games together and record said games when we find something funny about them the group found

[00:51:51] their origins in the diaspora of culture around goon central something awful specifically the kentucky fried server where they all played battlefield 1942 they continued moving on to new games as they arrived it only became a group in name when they found themselves with a desire to enter a battlefield 2142 tournament for kicks and had to name their clan hence team rumba quote the tournament

[00:52:20] experience was a fiasco and remains tr's first and last venture into competitive gaming says ryan the move to griefing video was was prompted by the most dangerous of influences plain boredom you run out of things to do and start looking for unconventional ways to have fun with the game says ryan there was a long dead time between bf 2142 being released in the next big fps so as they waited impatiently while

[00:52:50] enemy territories quake wars crisis and team fortress 2 inched closer they looked for other distractions it was rumbaite peniff smash who made the leap with a glitch he discovered in battlefield 2140 smash peniff smash yes he was a fiat trainee with me way way back in the day i think i still probably have

[00:53:16] his contact information so fantastic well we'd love to talk to him 20 something years ago and so they found a glitch in the titan mode basically if you remember what titan mode was you you had to blow up another team's titan airship so it says uh you can't damage your own team's consoles but peniff smash discovered that if you kill yourself any mines that you've laid remain if

[00:53:43] your kit is then taken by the enemy the mines switch side and can be detonated at a safe distance quote so by doing this we confuse the hell out of a lot of people by bringing the enemy titan shields down a few minutes into the realm when it normally takes half an hour they started thinking about other ideas before penis smash began to record and score them the first was actually inspired by other players

[00:54:08] unsportsmanlike behavior where they flipped on friendly fire and alternately killed and revived players from the offending clan effectively holding them hostage let's take a look at this i i haven't seen this one i'm a dipshit you're the one with craptastics bitch tactics i love that it's bobby darren by the way i go say

[00:54:32] and this one they're just they they kill the one guy and then to keep reviving him revive him and then kill him immediately after again now a lot of people are doing this now in stuff like apex legends or or uh what's the call what's the call of duty one this is war zone they're doing a more zone it just bring him back bring him back okay kill with a knife too just oh the guy calls him a slurry

[00:55:00] uh asl hebrew underscore harry is the username by the way do that to my clan again and i'll kick your fucking ass as it says ah simply times now what i find is funny and gman squad did this a lot where they would just like play annoying sounds over voice over ip yeah a lot of these aside from couponbug.com did not involve

[00:55:25] griefing of that sort of course they would later do some more of that but i feel like there was a time period for that and some folks like yeah this is done we're not doing this i still every once in a while will find myself in a call of duty lobby because i'm a glutton for punishment and i'll hear people like having full arguments oh yeah for mike and i'm like are they pub g oh was the worst

[00:55:53] i had to disable mics on pub g because like it just would be too much like i just can't listen to 50 year old kids call each other the n-word over and over again oh yeah but yeah team roomba also like i said came from something awful came from ppp 242 furious and some of the team roomba people i remember playing on the ppp counter strike source surf server oh wow to show you just how fucking

[00:56:20] deep in the fucking shit i was one of the guys i recognize the voice did a song for the ppp surf server and i think it was called play surf super k because that was super underscore k was like the default not too hard but not too easy surf map because there's lots of surf maps out there

[00:56:47] and what surfing if you don't know if you're not fucking old heads like us surfing is when if you're holding forward and a direction there's a certain gradient where you can kind of just glide along like a train on certain spaces and so people would make these challenge maps where you would be

[00:57:09] surfing as it were on these gradients and there's like a certain way to like jump on off them and things like that i haven't done a surf map in years but it's very fucking technical and you can kind of do it with tf2 but tf2 characters aren't aside from the scout typically fast enough they don't have like the right weight yeah do surf maps yeah yeah but i still find myself humming along to i remember

[00:57:36] what the b is but the the line was yeah counter strike yeah counter strike play surf super k place it's just absolutely fucking absolutely right in my brain and there was also a meme that ppp had other things stuck in my head is uh metal gear yeah metal barrel which nonsensical but stuck in my head

[00:58:03] i think that was a patio furniture and of course third one which i don't think you've ever heard me do but i have done it when i'm incredibly fucking bored where i just start fucking barking to myself and so there was a dot wave that you could play in the jukebox on this on the surf server and i forget what it was fucking called but it was a wave or even might have been a fucking dot mp3

[00:58:29] listen to a lot of fucking uh mike jones on that server people who yeah mike jones you know you know my name that's right yeah dude listen to so much fucking mike jones you have his phone number memorized i did for a minute man that's all i all we did i would come home from college bullshit on that server listen to mike jones on the jukebox there was one that would get played

[00:58:52] every once in a while there was patio just going and there was a phone ringing in the background but after a while every once in a while you hear someone say as you know and the phones ring go pick up the fucking phone dog mike jones phone number by the way if you don't know it's 281-330-8004

[00:59:18] but uh who one of my favorite things on these custom servers was you could do weird shit like this and this was tf2 karaoke this is still live on 242 furies's youtube page so

[00:59:56] and people who are just joining the server didn't know what was going on they went what and you got all these people on voice chat trying to sing along it's really god yeah and i feel like we're really dancing around these these like two or three team rumba tf2 grief videos yes because they're very long they're very fucking funny but also maybe just think about how there was a guy that

[01:00:19] would troll servers because he did a really great impression of the engineer and told a story about a giant turd in a toilet oh god i gotta find that hold up you know what i can't remember what's called we're i'm going back into the the recesses of my mind so so this is uh this is team rumba's video from 17 years ago and it's a a pyro standing in front of

[01:00:46] the sniper blowing their flame and like i can't what are you doing you know he's thanks for blogging my view he's like no that's great yeah yeah they're exploiting a glitch where if you drop the teleporter's engineer on a moving train it just is in the air and as soon as you take the teleporter you die basically yeah giving an uber charge to a sniper which is pointless in the game

[01:01:09] yeah just trying to help floor master says this is the one where the scout traps himself but then also traps his team in the spawn and it happens on both red and blue teams so both teams are stuck in the spawn point and he's spamming the voice line need a dispenser here need a dispenser here oh i mean like i used to fucking spam that this

[01:01:34] people people had i remember i had a hot key on a mouse yeah where i would just hit that and would be need a dispenser here or whatever promise that you'll vote for ron paul i'll let you out i promise i saga will vote for ron paul i'm already voting for ron paul i josh will vote for ron paul i cal pledge to vote for ron paul i brand master pledge to vote for ron paul

[01:01:58] greetings welcome to another episode of theme fortress 2 trivia if you can answer my trivia question correctly i will let you out all right shoot seven wonders of the world which wonder is the only one that has survived to this day oh crap pyramid yeah you got it that's right great job what's the capital of spain what's your name now say kong now let us out legislative executive and uh judicial

[01:02:27] patriots german brazil italy french gave it to us name the capital of india and i will let you out hang on i'm getting a hold of an ad switch classes or kill yourself i don't want to mess up my stats promise that you'll vote for ron paul and i'll let you out that's the ron paul re-love-olution taking place on 242 furious wheelchair tennis again the username's so good i think the only time i've

[01:02:55] seen usernames this good were on yks has a separate show called go off kings yeah and they did a twitch stream they do it regularly as the name change stream and you pay them and they give you a name that you have to keep for six months and some of them are like you know wore a condom to a health check or you know like yeah here was another one uh floor masters is healing the the player on screen

[01:03:23] here which is like eye mass and they have glitched through the map we follow each other on twitter yeah this is this is fucking weird they're doing shit like exploiting glitches so where they're they've got centuries under the floor shooting up into the parts of the map where you can actually get to at the final point so they're on the defending team blue anyone the red team that tries to go for the

[01:03:52] final point it's gonna get lit up it's so fucking funny and a lot of this shit would get patched out like the day after a video or something would go viral right they would be like okay we can't people know how to do this now like we can't keep this going healing enemy spies also a pro move used to do that be a huge huge asshole

[01:04:18] fucking using the uber on an enemy spy disguised as a pyro meat spin as a spray yeah they'd put a teleporter so that you faced meat spin as soon as you got in it's amazing how long it took for them to have to censor that on this video it used to not be the meat spin used to not be censored here

[01:04:42] yeah well this was because they uploaded it to youtube and you know i mean youtube used to be real hair miss there's still yeah yeah there's still stuff out there i've seen sex gifts from like 2008 2007 yeah it just doesn't hit the content filter because it's such shitty resolution putting teleporters in inaccessible places to where you're stuck in a wall once you teleport into it i think there's a fence

[01:05:09] yeah you can't see because of the resolution but yeah there's they're stuck they can't they can't go anywhere so they've got the heavy the slowest character in the game they've got the glitch scouts that don't move or have their weapons out so they're just like skating around the map so they they meet the civilian yeah that was from a game mode that didn't make it in i think they tried doing unofficial mods to do the civilian mode that was present in the original tf2 and certain types of

[01:05:39] counter-strike three scouts bouncing on top of each other so it just looks like three models just kind of and the fucking t-pose five engineers all building teleporters and all this stuff so that no one can make it through this hallway and all the teleporters are like recursive so that one teleporter leads to a teleporter right next to it

[01:06:07] so it's not like you're going anywhere yeah you think you're gonna get around it and it just goes like right next to it and they're building and they're building their dispensers and stuff in places where it makes it really hard to move through right so it's just super fucking hard to do anything a full team of engineers is blocking anyone from doing anything mc 900 foot jesus is on there by the way

[01:06:33] i uh when this episode goes up i'll message floor master on steam and let hell yeah let's go i still don't remember the context of why everyone keeps saying that floor master died but i can't get over it everything that you reference is like a floor master he fucking died bro he's fucking floor master he dead man fucking died dog it's fucking sick i don't know why everyone's making jokes about it man

[01:07:01] the fucking you know what you think about is fucking family man yeah uh man tf2 until the the hat economy kind of ruined everything it was super fucking fun oh yeah the first two or three years i mean same thing with left for dead and left for dead 2 yes i did play a little bit tf2 recently in the last couple days okay the stats it can tell you how many how many hours you play each

[01:07:29] class i have over 80 hours playing spy interesting spy scout and uh soldier and pyro i think was the order okay because i think i'm more i think i go pyro heavy and engineer those are my three my top three the last i checked which was a long time ago but yeah i tried playing a little bit i only

[01:07:55] had like an hour or two couldn't get my mouse sensitivity to where i wanted to be that struggle you know all that fun shit but still fun still weird i wish they would fucking valve has more money than god they don't need to do anything ever they can just keep riding this but there's a new version of source engine that was released like four or five years ago oh with the half-life alex uh i'm not

[01:08:21] sure about that but i do know that there was a new version of counter-strike that yes yes i think it's something other than count it's whatever replaced counter-strike go or maybe counter-strike goes on the new source engine i can't remember but it'd be really cool if they did like atf3 oh yeah yeah source 2 was 2015 all they used for was dota 2 god playing dota dota you know for when you

[01:08:48] don't feel like league is bad enough yeah man tf2 what a fucking great time yeah what a weird time to be bored and like 21 on the internet and there's still people on like the in the fucking steam chat room for some of the goon tf2 stuff oh i'm sure surprisingly large amount yeah it was just a really interesting bit of nostalgia coming back to these old source games and seeing that they're still

[01:09:15] bouncing around but holy crap tf2 when they started adding in like the cosmetics yeah it started getting weird yeah i mean it's fucking free to play now so you have no excuse to not give it a shot that is true um so if you see me online video crime i will do my best to not throw an entire match as pyro that's my promise to you well i guess that means it's time for shock.jpg and now the moment

[01:09:44] you've all been waiting for shock.jpg oh boy oh boy oh boy jason what you got for me this one is called i think the actual name on the website where it's hosted is something really stupid i'm just calling it funnel time courtesy of our friends at chaotic they call it your wtf video of the day

[01:10:11] uploaded by death goddess the caption is just the chinese are back at it a young lady uh strapped up in the shibari uh method but here's a funnel filled with what appears to be poop and dookie and yes the gentleman is emptying his bowels into it a big plastic tube going down to her mouth i don't know why they keep saying the chinese are back at it's very clearly a japanese uh scat

[01:10:38] i do love their scat oh there we go gosh yeah just like i love the sounds of the work bathroom with a woman crying right really sets the mood boy that's just unfortunate oh and she's wearing the locket that gram gram gave her oh he's done he's walking away yeah it's the second guy that's

[01:11:01] walked away so i have questions yeah i have many questions first of all is that osha compliant absolutely not none of them are wearing the high biz let's get in there they're wearing high biz those non-slip shoes no they're not wearing shoes none of them are wearing shoes they they do have some weird plastic wrap around parts of the the structure of the video is really odd too because

[01:11:27] these guys are dookieing slash pissing into a funnel on the second floor and she's suspended somehow again shibari roped up with the funnel going to her mouth but on the bottom floor and it looks like i don't know how familiar you are with the the showtime television series dexter but it looks like one of dexter's kill rooms that he's got all plasticked up and yet everything is going straight

[01:11:53] from a funnel to her mouth so there's nothing to clean up you know what i mean it's very odd everything looks like it's coated in plastic i'm not entirely sure it feels like it's from a like a james bond porn parody no ms bond we expect you to munch scat yeah i don't know no james bond i expect you the boof yeah something i don't know it's just it's one of those weird ones and it's just like

[01:12:20] well they're right it was wtf video for sure okay so you're you put a plastic what looks like a a hamster's habit trail from a a funnel to the mouth i don't know i don't know how anyone would find that sexy either i don't know man like oh no doo doo oh dookie oh no doo doo um i i always

[01:12:49] warn myself off of doing gore shit on this segment of the show but i'm starting to wonder if i need to ramp it up maybe because man it's doo doo it's boring we've numbed ourselves to doo doo and the poo poo again it's my bread and butter but it's also just like so i still got the hat right oh so do i i wear it all the time i love wearing that to the store i love wearing my poo poo poo pee pee poo

[01:13:18] poo hat to the store everyone so everyone knows what you're about yeah that's right i'm here at aldi getting these hoss avocados but let me tell you about my piss and shit fetish listen i am getting this coffee but you must understand that it makes me go duke you know like coffee doesn't make me shit i don't understand like the coffee and white castles do not well white castles is strictly farts that's just farts because every once in a while give me a little gas because the onions

[01:13:47] that's it that's all it is shit ton onions well that's the thing i think you might be one of the people who are just like yeah i eat onions all the time what do you mean yeah i eat this i eat this i'll keep eating this garbage that's right absolutely as well you should white castle is the national treasure and fuck the haters oh white castle gave me the bubble guts man shut up oh runny tummy hey you got the pimp skitters for another reason and that's not it that's all i'm saying

[01:14:13] yeah i don't again never had any crazy coffee coffee no no coffee never really made me shit i'm not saying i'm not saying the caffeine doesn't yeah yeah like i'm never i mean like i've worked with people like they have coffee they have their you know the second cup in the morning and halfway through it they're like oh i i got i'll be right back yeah i think that's less about the coffee and more about the routine sure you get your body trained and then your body's like okay second cup

[01:14:43] time to hit the dump button but uh no it's just i'm lactose so i hit the cheese so if i got creamer if i got too much creamer that's when my body goes no it's time to go other than that no coffee itself it's fine interesting that said i guess it's time for the breath man breath man

[01:15:14] breath man it's time for your mom's favorite part of the show it's time for the breath man was that the wheel of fortune were you doing the i don't know man i just kind of yeah i was just gonna keep doing it until i got bored and it turns out i got bored a lot sooner than i anticipated so uh what you been up to at this oh week well you know it's only been a couple days

[01:15:42] since we recorded i know i know i know but um replaying resident evil 2 with a friend and finding out how bad i am at it now since i i was getting into speedrunner-esque oh oh no i kind of lost it but we're having fun and i also just have like a real heavy love for resident evil 2 and i feel

[01:16:04] like that remake does so many things right and able to keep the original spirit of the you know 1998 game and keep it moving forward learning how to cheese bosses by using the knife because the knife is fucking borked and um things like that also playing as my friend they had only ever seen a

[01:16:28] leon playthrough i usually don't play claire because i hate the not that i hate claire's game i hate the sherry segment but there's a way to cheese it that i found out and it's not super obvious i think to some people was obvious to me but once i like watched the speedrunner do it i was like oh that was there the whole time so hadn't familiarized myself with the claire playthrough but that was

[01:16:55] super that's still a fucking fun game i still like it more than the re4 remake okay i can see that i think it's i think it's a more it's a less convoluted story resident before i think does a good job at making a very fun game and obviously it's super influential and the original and the remake um the remake is still super fucking fun you've played it right are you for remake uh no actually i

[01:17:24] have i played the gamecube one emulated uh played the you know it's fine people talk about how great it is and and i can see what they're talking about but i it just it didn't grab me man you had to be there very much so yeah i i it was one of those games where i feel like you had to play it within months of when it came out to really get it it's like how boomers fucking love jimmy hendrix

[01:17:54] sure you listen to jimmy hendrix now and you're like yeah this is tight but like i don't know if it's like that cool but you gotta understand so much has been reiterated based on on on someone like jimmy hendrix i mean steve ray vaughn see ray vaughn's guitar playing is just a reiteration of jimmy hendrix in a lot of ways there's a lot of really shitty people there just a reiteration of steve ray vaughn right having worked at a guitar center twice in my life

[01:18:22] right you would know fuck yeah i would know but yeah re2 remake still interesting still fun i like playing it on my xbox series x because it is really nice and clean and has what's that fucking lighting that's all everyone's all crazy hdr no rtx yeah rtx lighting i guess whatever the shit that everyone was like wow uh cyberpunk looks really fuck is a terrible fucking game but you can do this really crazy lighting that makes it look really good but everyone's finding out that that

[01:18:52] is such a resource heavy component and doesn't really do a lot yeah control had a lot of that in the the ps5 version i mean it looks good when it's done right but it's again it's a resource hog and i would rather have better frame rate or just better anti-aliasing and aside from like uh reflective surfaces and stuff like that you can do light mapping and all that shit and just do just

[01:19:16] fine as you know um the other thing i have is a little french movie called humanist vampire vampire seeking consenting suicidal person okay now i saw this and i have not i saw the name and i instantly got it on the plex because i was like i have to see this and i have yet to watch it is it good

[01:19:39] yes okay whoo there's been a handful of french vampire movies made over the last 15 or so years it all have a protagonist that's like a moody wayfish pale girl with bangs and long hair but this one is a little different i'm trying to remember the name of the other movies but uh this i found to be really

[01:20:03] refreshing okay it's about a vampire named sasha who has a condition and unlike her vampire family she does not want to kill which creates a problem for a vampire because you have to get that blood somehow and her fangs aren't coming in and she's been kind of coasting off of her family

[01:20:29] and it gets to a point where she has the appearance of someone in their late teens maybe 16 or 17 at youngest but is actually in their 40s or 60s i can't remember off the top of my head but they're much older than they appear sure and their fangs just now start coming in they don't have the will to kill they don't want to kill humans right again the paradox of you have too much empathy towards people

[01:20:55] but you need their blood to live right how do you circle that square so in a very european fashion uh she is sent off to live with her cousin uh who man that's a fucking that's an old country ass move like i'm gonna say with our kids you go live with your aunt or you go live with your cousin yeah for a while until that straightens you out and their cousin tries to acclimate them to to this situation

[01:21:23] of like this is your reality and they go to a party like a kegger and they get this guy named jason or something she is told you need to fucking drain this guy right feet off of him right and sasha pussies out her cousin goes and starts to drain the guy sasha gets freaked out watching this happen

[01:21:46] so she lays on the horn of the car and this douchebag party guy now instead of being dead becomes a vampire and it kind of goes on for a little bit in the movie that now she now that the cousin is stuck with this freeloader in the house who's like a party boy and he's just sitting around playing sega hell yeah oh yeah let's go like a shit head um if you're immortal what else you got to do

[01:22:13] but play video games yeah it's a very funny movie it's very sweet and it the movie starts to really pick up when she meets a young man who is suicidal okay he's in high school his life sucks his co-workers torture him he's bullied at school he just kind of wants to off himself but he sees a sense of redemption and being a meal for a vampire particularly someone is polite and as

[01:22:42] easygoing as sasha and there's a point where she takes him back to her cousin's place and she's like yes uh i am taking him up to my bedroom and it's this very awkward thing it's very reminiscent of you know when you're young and you're like maybe hooking up with someone for the first time and yeah it's a very macabre sense of humor because the young man he's in on this he knows he's going to

[01:23:09] be food for this vampire okay but still play the awkwardness of like uh so did we start like making out or you know like it's it's good and because it's a foreign film there's a lot of comedic bits that if it were an american film would be really fucking too on the nose and too shitty and with not enough subtext or enough pathos right but here this is all like yes this is funny but there's a

[01:23:36] momentum that swings back to like well there's an actual element of this that's maybe a little bit more sincere or serious so you get your laugh okay as your laugh cools down as that moment passes you're like oh wow there's some real shit here like this is it's a very fun movie in the sense it's like the same it's the same way with conclave where it's like if you like just movies the concept of a movie

[01:23:59] this is a lot of fun okay it's very sweet oddly enough and none of the violence really happens on screen usually it happens with the camera being focused on sasha and the actress who plays her is very good at doing a lot with just her her facial expression a lot of subtle emotion coming

[01:24:23] through how she holds herself how she emotes um just really exceptional job looking that up because sarah bon petit yeah and felix antonio antoine benad as paul who's a young man yeah and the cousin

[01:24:44] is georgette is played by sophie cadeau cadeau sure uh it's a cute little movie yeah it feels like a sweer version of like let the right one in okay yeah i can see that in some ways it's a little macabre in some ways it's very cute but it's the examination of weff i mean it's not the first time

[01:25:11] it's been examined like what if there was a vampire that wasn't as ruthless as its cohorts right that's a trope but this is a little bit more humanistic and also it gives the opportunity to show that even though her family are pretty kind of cold and calculated about how they go about their sustenance they are given opportunities to kind of like show their depth as characters not be one

[01:25:40] notes so it's a very well written very well performed film i don't really have any criticisms like it's got a good pace cinematography is where it needs to be it's nothing it's nothing overblown but it's nothing uh short-sighted it's just everything just feels like oh this clicks like everyone it feels like a movie where everyone showed up and knew what their their job was well

[01:26:06] that's always nice to see you love to get that with especially something a genre movie yeah and it's a fun just like a fun little vampire movie the good vampire movies are so hard to come by i think the last one that i really liked was probably uh only lovers left alive well and the original what we do in the shadows but those again were more played for comedy so yeah i'm trying to remember only lovers left

[01:26:32] alive that was uh tilda swindon uh tom hiddleston uh 2014 yes i've heard of this oh it's it's really it's a hoot it's jim jarmusch at his best uh tilda swindon and tom hiddleston basically the two co-leads there and uh but boy you got a john hurt appearance right before you passed uh jeffrey wright showing

[01:26:55] up in there as a dr watson which is not uh the same and a bunch of again more more french actors uh ali mean but again a lot of these are minor roles it's a very small small cast because a lot of what happens is just between these two characters eve and adam uh yeah but at the same time he's this rock you know fading rock star and she's his lover from long ago and they reunite have you had a

[01:27:24] chance to watch um the new interview with a vampire i have not that is next on my list but i'm i'm currently re-washing severance so once have you got the season two yet i have not yet because i'm starting i'm starting over because boy it's been four years or three years between the severance seasons and i want to really refresh my memory to really get in there i'm kind of uh waiting for

[01:27:47] the season to be over with same and just do like the free trial of apple plus yes binge that shit yeah i got the blu-ray of the first season i'm gonna watch all that and then by the time i'm finished with that the second season should have all aired and then yes i'm gonna do the very same um because yes it's except for severance there's not a lot on apple tv plus that really is worth doing uh foundation's

[01:28:14] okay man it i it's fine the thing about foundation is that is the production values are so good the casting's not bad yeah but we stopped watching it this is back in the day like three or four years ago stopped watching it because i in particular would fall asleep and i would still be like wow you know there was one point i think we tried restarting an episode like three or four times that's when

[01:28:39] you know that's when you know it's time but the thing is didn't hate the show still found to be completely enthralling story it's just it's a slow burn it's so fucking slow but it's like all of it's interesting the intrigue the time jumps like but something about it was been that shit was just like yes like that yeah but yeah so one of the things that i didn't fall asleep during this is

[01:29:04] one of my breath meant things is dream corp llc brian are you familiar with dream corp llc i've heard of it but please explain okay so john krasinski in his infinite wisdom post the office threw a bunch of money at a bunch of shows that were on adult swim and one of them was this thing called dream corp llc now john greeze is the lead in that you may recognize him as

[01:29:31] uncle rico from oh hell yeah yeah from napoleon dynamite how much you want bad i could throw this football over that mountain exactly so he is the star of this he plays dr roberts who has created a way to get into people's dreams and fix their mental problems and so you would think this would be a big

[01:29:57] deal but no he's stuck in a strip mall he's stuck in a strip mall parking lot in like the middle of nowhere i think they established that it's somewhere out west because i think there's one episode where they drive out to the desert so it's surreal it's bizarre mike proche is in it from what we do in the shadows he was colin robinson a rotating cast of patients who come in so you've got these character

[01:30:22] actors who show up for an episode but yeah the whole thing is you know dr roberts takes these patients in and tries to fix their mental problems and so a good chunk of the show is you know in this dingy gross place dream corp llc and then the other half is rotoscoped animation in these increasingly surreal

[01:30:47] styles within the dreams of the patients themselves and so it walks that fun line between workplace comedy surreal madness it's got a lot of lynchian tones where everything's just kind of off yeah and it's never explained it's just like yep this is this is the way things are uh there's a guy named amit who is on so many drugs at all times that he doesn't remember anyone's name ever and there is a horny

[01:31:13] robot named terry voiced by comedian steven marchand who also does a lot of the voiceover work in the show it's a cavalcade of who's who it came and went adult swim had it for two years adult swim sold to hulu who promptly canceled it so it ran for two and a half seasons it gets to the middle of season

[01:31:37] three and then right where the normal midpoint of a season would be it just ends which is unfortunate but you do see some really funny things like online people like bobby lee from the bad friends podcast shows up as a prankster named tricky ricky just so many little touches in there it is very surreal it's fun it's gory it's disgusting there's a running bit about dr roberts has these usb ports

[01:32:06] implanted under the skin and in the backs of his hands as the show goes on the usb ports look like they're getting more and more infected so every time there's this close-up of his hands and they're plugging he's plugging these bits in it's like oh oftentimes the patients will piss themselves as they go into their dream states and it's got that sense of like something's off here is it the guy that works in the office that collects teeth or is it the fact that there's a robot who's horny or is it

[01:32:35] that you know like you never really know what thing is supposed to be the thing that's not real and then oh wait no we're just going to cut to somebody's dream about their dad that's going to eat them like you're never really sure where you stand with the show and i think that's what keeps it going and because it's adult swim it was 12 minute episodes and so never wears out its welcome it's just bang bang

[01:33:00] bang bang bang you'll blow right through it i mean we we started it last week and we finished it like the other night it's a super quick one adult swim for whatever reason has removed it from their website completely you can't find it on hulu it's all gone who the fuck knows john greese on his instagram has basically said yeah they're not going to do anything about this show anymore we're in westworld season 4 territory here where they're just writing off shows and just going whatever it's dumb as shit i don't

[01:33:29] know why they're doing this well it's because warrior also owns cartoon network and also i believe has a stake in hulu and war has just been fucking spiking properties left and right it kills me the same thing happened to children's hospital children's hospital is brilliant and it's just gone yeah i think it was like within the last six or so months mtv cleared off like all of their back catalog which

[01:33:53] means the max the head uh cyflin ollie oh and not just not just uh the media stuff like that the the show media but also like anything that someone wrote that was short form or long form just absolutely just bulldozed their website i don't know like what's left it's weird that they still do the fucking music awards that is surprising it's incredibly fucking surprising i mean mtv is just

[01:34:19] fucking dead and the last thing i saw a live performance of the tony award-winning musical comedy shucked at the fabulous fox theater for my kid's birthday um i was not a fan you say it was pretty corny yeah yes it is an entire musical devoted around the idea that there is a small town that never left

[01:34:43] the 50s and it's all corn puns and parts of the show are straight up uh jeff foxworthy level uh redneck jokes it's fine the music is great the touring company that performed it was great it's just everything in between it was just all right there's a couple of great characters lulu great character in the show uh beau great character uh because he's like the stereotypical macho guy but he's also like

[01:35:12] with the sensitive side so the whole plot is that you know that in this little bitty town this girl and this guy are about to get married but then the corn starts dying so she leaves town to try to find a way to save the corn well she runs into a con man and the con man tells her oh of course i'm gonna help you save your corn of course he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about right it's very familiar in terms of musical theater but i think the big experience for me was just seeing it at the fox i

[01:35:40] have not seen something that's fox in a long time fabulous fox gorgeous theater in st louis jeez i think the last thing i saw at the fox theater was the white stripes and that was probably like 2006 or 2007 that was when jack white was in his uh zorro on donuts phase oh yeah yeah uh last thing i saw there was probably tori amos on the strange little girl store so wow yeah so

[01:36:05] but yeah that's that was my weekend was was those two things really yeah i think that means it's time for us to tell people where to find us online brian where can people find you to harass you on the old internet on the old on the old internet folks folks you are harass me on the internet uh you can find me on twitter at ishock ed board i-s-h-o-t-g-u-i-d-b-o-r-d you can find me on instagram

[01:36:33] at a music photographer you can go check out my portfolio of live music photography over at asshole music photographer.com and if you want to check out the last and only good media website left and screwy st louis you can park your internet cheeks over at the arts stl.com i believe that's all i got big j what you got oh boy well you can find me as a part of a podcast that's not this one

[01:37:02] uh there i play a fictionalized version of stephen king over at submitted for the approval of the midnight pals this week we are doing a q a session it's kind of fun a little bit of fun we're doing before our next big episode comes out that is uh midnight-pals.simplecast.com or wherever fine podcasts are sold you can find this show at a number of places but my personal favorite is

[01:37:27] telephone give us a call 314-246-9766 that's 314 ahoy poo if you like to spell with your telephone shoot us an email jason at the number four the number eight minutes of dogs barking.com brian with a y at the number four the number eight minutes of dogs barking.com tell us what you think about the show we always welcome your feedback we'd love to hear from you you can also support the show patreon.com slash four eight minutes of dogs i did want to point out a couple of comments

[01:37:55] we got this past week on our extra long episode that we just put out on the your kickstarter sucks discord also known as the piss cord member cool man says i really enjoyed this you have a new subscriber so welcome cool man thank you cool man q a a discord member evil ken says your pod's intro is uh something so i'll take that as a compliment thank you and then a discord member over at friend

[01:38:24] of the pod ed zitron's there's your ed at maleficant appreciated the phrase the new modern yoke lore and he uh he called brian a poet so thank you very much i appreciate that i took a couple poetry classes in college i'm uh i'm fairly certain uh the instructor the professor would not say the same well at the same time uh you do that thing leave us comments uh shoot us emails whatever it is

[01:38:52] and we will of course read them on the show well as we always say at this time namaste good luck give mommy a good gut fucking 25th amendment now who ate all the pussy and uh release the epstein list what's going on there boys and uh also couponbug.com couponbug.com couponbug.com you you you you you