Episode 105 : Do It For Babydog

[00:00:00] Give me hot dogs, hamburgers, ham dogs, hot burgers and beer and give me death. I beg you. 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking So, Donald Trump gets shot at. My understanding. This is my theory.

[00:00:46] I think this is a false flag. I feel like that shot was so easy. I could have made that shot. You could have made that shot. Your son has the posting power to make that shot. He's got the Fortnite skills.

[00:01:01] If he can hold the rifle up, if he can keep it upright, I think he could dome the dog. But my theory is that the deep state took one of the Mold Children that was rescued from below Central Park during the early days of COVID.

[00:01:18] They were trying to do some Cyprus special ops stuff with him, but his eyesight was not so good. Also, he's been living off of protein power mashed with Doritos into expired Halo 3 gamer fuel. Okay. Okay. So really just not a lot going in the tank there.

[00:01:40] Originally, it was going to be a cloudy day, but his eyesight is just not from years of being having his kidneys hit with a hot poker. So to simulate his adrenal glands and the adrenal clone could be extracted.

[00:01:58] So Ellen could look good while she's yelling at some poor PA for getting the wrong hospital food from Panera. I think that's why it is because you look at him. Yeah. There's nothing to this kid. He's the average 4chan poster, I think is really what you know.

[00:02:18] Looks like a real basement dweller and I'm saying that as someone that looks like a real basement dweller. I think the thing that's going to haunt me for a while is would have been better if it happened or if it is better than it had not happened. Yeah.

[00:02:38] So is it going to be Reagan or Grover Cleveland or Roosevelt? I don't know why I thought Grover Cleveland. Reagan or Mondale. But Mondale didn't get shot at. Which is like a sad state of affairs, not to start this episode off on a bumper. I know. I know.

[00:02:53] But just... And then Biden has COVID again. And the guy that Richard Fosta or whatever or David... Richard Fusca. Fusca. The fake JFK Jr. Yeah. And apparently 4chaners did not know the QAnon conspiracy around him. They were like, that guy looks like a plant.

[00:03:13] Just like that dude is just like general way of existing looks suspicious. He went to that rally thinking he was going to get some easy trim. Yeah. It's... I mean... The guy that sent like the fake pipe bombs that had like the Trump truck in Florida.

[00:03:30] That guy was going about all wrong. Yeah. I think anyone who goes really crazy politically like that is really just trying to get their dick wet metaphorically or literally. And I'm not going to lie, sending fake pipe bombs to like, I don't know, Al Roker or whatever?

[00:03:46] Like that's not really gonna... It's not going to move the needle. That's not going to move the needle on the Poon Tang scale, sir. Yeah. You got to aim higher. You got to aim higher. Yeah. It's just what the fuck, bro. What the fuck?

[00:03:59] You like had been MIA on the internet, I believe for most of Saturday. It's ridiculous. Every time I go offline something stupid happens. Yeah. I'm already like trying to like comprehend this and you just like text me like six or seven in the evening.

[00:04:13] And I'm like, yeah man it's a whole fucking thing. You know, I just fucking can't wait for stake in the blow job day to get here. I'm just so... Mm-hmm. So far up. Oh, geez. What a dumb country and it seems to be getting even dumber. It's 48 minutes.

[00:04:27] I'm parking my name is Jason. This is Brian. Politics has taken over our brains because that's just the world we live in. And boy, Brian, this week has been an interesting one. Not only was there the shooting, Biden getting COVID, but also it's been the RNC.

[00:04:57] The Republican National Convention in Milwaukee. In my beautiful cherished city of Milwaukee. I know. With all these fucking jet ski store salesmen and guys that like sell Blue Lies Matters flags on the internet. Right. Well, one notable bright spot in the RNC. Baby dog. Baby dog.

[00:05:21] I love baby dog. If those of you who are not familiar, during a speech by Jim Justice. Oh, West Virginia Governor Jim Justice. This amazing piece of shit. Yeah. Jim Justice. Yeah.

[00:05:36] If you want a good lowdown of what kind of piece of shit Jim Justice is, the funk podcast grub-sakers have a whole entire episode about him that is really illuminating. But of course, so in that episode is the glory of Jim Justice's best friend the whole

[00:05:51] wide world and overweight bulldog named Baby Dog. 60 pounds this year, according to Michael Gold of the New York Times. Yes, the crowd gathered on the second night of the Republican National Convention was promised a 60 pound bulldog.

[00:06:06] And when Governor Jim Justice of West Virginia walked on the stage without one, they began shouting the dog's name in annoyance. Baby Dog, they chanted en masse with an energy usually reserved for former President Donald Trump or his brand new running mate, Senator JD Vance of Ohio.

[00:06:23] They needn't have worried. Gold continues after a few brief sentences, Mr. Justice, who is running for Senate in his state, relented. I know a lot of you want to meet my little buddy, he said.

[00:06:34] An en queue out came Baby Dog, a plump bulldog belly swaying as she trotted across the stage before being quickly plopped by a human helper into a cushy chair. Now, I didn't know anything about Baby Dog until I caught this via the Twitter account ACYN.

[00:06:54] It's the guy who's the digital editor for the Midas Touch, a guy who basically just hangs out watches political streams and then puts stuff up online for us to see. And it was a 20 second clip. Here it is. And it's a bit long-winded because it's Jim Justice.

[00:07:10] But then at the end, there's the pop. All I saw was a 20 second clip of Jim Justice going on. Like, yeah, Donald Trump started late to November. We're going to go nuts. And then it cuts to Camera 2, which is the big wide shot.

[00:07:26] And there's Baby Dog just chilling. I love it. I love Baby Dog. I don't know if you noticed a smile on my face when you first showed this to me. I was like, Baby Dog.

[00:07:39] Jim Justice for all of his, because he's like a billionaire governor, has lots of ties as a coal industry, just like a really awful person. Like a season three villain and justified kind of bad guy. Yeah, just like kind of a traditional American political piece of shit.

[00:07:54] But when the vaccines first started coming out in like 2001, he was like doing these PSAs in West Virginia and online they were like, every ain't gonna get the vaccine for yourself. Do it for Baby Dog. I missed that. I didn't know.

[00:08:14] It's the only endearing thing about the man. You ain't gonna do it for yourself. You're getting the old vaccine for Baby Dog here. Man, he's right. Gold continuing at the end of his speech, Mr. Justice gave the crowd what they wanted

[00:08:28] and only he was in a position to provide dog content. Baby Dog's got a prediction for everybody here, he said, as the bulldog looked on. The prediction was the same one made by most of the speakers in Milwaukee. Republicans win in November in a landslide.

[00:08:42] But Baby Dog, Mr. Justice said was confident in his prediction. Why? It was worth it, he said. It was a bold assertion from an animal with no mastery of the English language but admittedly

[00:08:52] won that revved up the crowd and it was a hard act to follow as representative Jim Banks of Indiana who had the misfortune to step on the stage next acknowledged. I don't know about you, he said, but thank God Baby Dog is a Republican.

[00:09:06] How should they be cooked? Yeah, Baby Dog, call me up man. Yeah, I mean, really, we gotta suss out is Baby Dog and never Trump? Never Trump her? Yeah, I don't know. Well speaking of endearing things, now you and I have talked about the Costco guys,

[00:09:23] the father and son team who go into Costco and talk about how Costco rules and all that stuff. Well this here posted maybe two days ago on Twitter, guy goes by the name of Judd Crud aka at Snot Worst 420, I love that.

[00:09:38] The Costco guys have some competition now it is two gentlemen in a Walgreens speaking flawless Mandarin, check this out. Where is she Walgreens now? Women's she whoopies, huh? Women's she Walgreens now, yeah, don't you? Women's L'Oreal Paris now, yeah, she's whoopoo, chaffee. Women's she Wongshae now, yeah.

[00:09:55] We acknowledge our one true God, Mr. Goodbar. It's almost a minute long but the last half just kind of devolves into them talking about how plentiful the water is. Plentiful water at Walgreens. It's one of the most popular different water brands. It is true, the water is plentiful.

[00:10:11] It really is. Walgreens does have that one advantage because I was in Chicago two weeks, a lot of water and you need it because it's Chicago, you're walking a lot. So Costco guys look out.

[00:10:21] Walgreens guys have the ear of the Chinese market so you know you got to watch out for them. Are there Walgreens in mainland China? You know I don't know and I begin to wonder like why was the Walgreens guys video in Mandarin?

[00:10:35] That was like AI deepfake like the Nick Mullen. No, apparently. About the... Sucrose? What was it? You talking about Don Juan-Jing Long? The number one glycine manufacturer? How can I forget? I'm such a dummy. No, apparently these guys learned some phonetic bits here, let's see.

[00:11:01] Yeah, Biden apparently just tweeted I'm sick. Yeah, but then followed it up with of Elon Musk trying to buy the election. It's the dumbest bait joke thing and yeah, not great.

[00:11:12] So yes, the creator of the Walgreens guys does thank Tom Googliata and Jack McClennan for helping complete this. Many of the comments. I love white guy speaking Chinese. White guy orders in perfect Chinese at traditional restaurants, stuns employees,

[00:11:26] but it's just Walgreens and the checkout operator is also white. It's when it's time to put the Costco guys in their fucking place. People are divided, shall we say, but speaking of perfect Mandarin,

[00:11:40] a beautiful video hit the internet right around the time that Joe Biden was having a not great day with regards to debates. The Twitter user Benzos6 posted a video parody using AI to clone the voices of Donald Trump and Joe Biden

[00:11:59] to have them sing the Chinese song Yi Jian Mei. And here it is in all of its glory. It's presented like a karaoke video, which I think is the funniest part, complete with the falling snow in the background and the subtitles.

[00:12:30] And yeah, so I first saw this with Juniper Can't Ever Die on Twitter, posting Chinese Joe Biden, save me, save me Chinese Joe Biden, save me Chinese Joe Biden. And the original post just the text was only, I don't know what debates you guys saw,

[00:12:46] but seem fine to me. We talked about AI music last week with the drunk driving songs this week with the Chinese Joe Biden like shitposting, as we have said multiple times, is the only logical. I think it's the only valid use of AI creatively. Absolutely.

[00:13:03] Again, a politics story heritage foundation. Some of you may know the name because it's been bandied about recently because they were main architects behind Project 2025, a 900 page fascist playbook for how to fuck shit up. Well, as part of Operation Trans Rights where they target government websites

[00:13:27] to mess with people trying to do anti-trans, anti-abortion laws, a gay furry group hacked the Heritage Foundation. You love to see it folks. Fucking rules. It's old information but there's still some good stuff in there. Yeah. Here's one of the original posts at Kitty Disks.

[00:13:48] Furries hacked the Heritage Foundation, propelling Project 2025 which caused the executive director to reach out and the chat logs are vile. Mike Howell would like to meet you. Vio, I would like to be left alone without my rights being threatened.

[00:14:06] Mike Howell, are you aware that you won't be able to wear a furry tiger costume when you're being pounded in the A in the federal prison I put you in next year? Vio, such unprofessional language from an executive director. Would you mind if I share this?

[00:14:19] Mike Howell, please share widely. I hope the word spreads as fast as the STDs do in your degenerate furry community. So the gay hacker, a gay furry hacker group called Sieged Sec, as in Sieged Security, claims to have hacked Heritage Foundation. How Heritage Foundation says to Newsweek,

[00:14:41] Well, we're not actually hacked, but they accessed a two-year-old outdated archive of the daily signal. So it's kind of up in the air whether, since you said that information was old, it may be that this was, you know, so hacking but legal chimes in,

[00:14:57] posted a thread analyzing concluding that several comments on the Heritage Foundation's website originated from Asian countries. Why so many with Chinese IP addresses? One of the users in this particular comment made from an IP address originating in Catman, do Nepal. Jesus Christ.

[00:15:17] And so you know, it's contentious as to whether the information is A old or whatever, but it's still just a great story. I love to see hacktivists getting their due, because I feel like that kind of fell by the wayside for a while.

[00:15:33] Yeah. Can I feel like we kind of got burnout, like with a worldwide white hat or hacktivist stuff, particularly with like anonymous? Right. It's just a quagmire of things that we can say at least aren't bad.

[00:15:46] Also being tied to or being swirled in with things that we find to be repugnant or repressive or quite frankly stupid. It's kind of a slippery slope almost. For as many gay furries as there are, they're also Nazi furs. So you know, there's apparently it's a big umbrella.

[00:16:06] Some of them are very good posting. No they're not. That is their biggest crime. I know some Brazilian furries that are pretty good at posting, but yeah, it's hit or miss. Oh, bully. Well, I guess that means it's time for Crypto Scam of the Week, Brian.

[00:16:21] You're listening to 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, the podcast. And now it's time for the Crypto Scam of the Week. Already? Already. Oh gosh, what happened now? Well, Squarespace, those of you who have been listening to podcasts and watching YouTube for the past hour of the long,

[00:16:40] will know the name Squarespace, I'm sure. Wow, they help you build a website. It's so quick and easy. Why would you ever use WordPress or the Israeli-ended platform Wix? Wix, yeah, that's the other one. So Sebastian Sinclair writing for Decrypt,

[00:16:57] in the wake of a recent DNS hijacking attack on DeFi, decentralized finance protocols, fresh insights have emerged about the potential extent and nature of the breach. So the incident involved attackers targeting DNS records hosted on Squarespace. Those records were then redirected to malicious IPs. Inferno Drainer, for example,

[00:17:26] is one of the associated ones. The Inferno Drainer's wallet kit allowed cyber criminals to steal funds from unsuspecting users. It operates by prompting users to sign malicious transactions that give the attacker control over their digital assets once the transaction is signed.

[00:17:42] Drainer kit transfers the funds, bang bang bang. Now they'd usually do that through phishing websites, compromise domains, and so if they've got access to Squarespace, which is a lot of DNS entries, it's game over because there's a lot, you know what I mean?

[00:17:56] DNS entries for Web3 domains sometimes will be hosted on Wix. They'll be hosted on Squarespace. They'll be hosted on these free or cheap hosting options. Yeah, not great. Well, for me, DNS usually seems we do not screw with it, but... Yeah.

[00:18:14] I remember that when I tried playing World of Warcraft a million years ago, port forwarding and DNS. Oh, yeah. It's a nightmare. So basically there's going to be a lot of DNS changes needed to kind of fix all this.

[00:18:30] And it's bad news for anyone who uses a Squarespace or accidentally clicked a link that was a Squarespace thing because they're essentially suggesting that on-chain records for domains would help with this, but as we know, the blockchain is notoriously slow. DNS is supposed to help things be faster.

[00:18:55] Yeah. So no, not good. Thankfully it was Squarespace and not something larger like say Cloudflare or one of those, one of those major providers. Yeah, we had this right here, Amazon DNS through AWS. Did you already say Cloudflare? I did, yeah.

[00:19:12] Cloudflare is the one that I always have a problem with, but DNS records there, that would be crippling for any Web3 project. You'd be really mired in like, okay, I got to address this A record and then you're getting into the weeds, you know?

[00:19:26] Yeah, I don't even know what the fuck you're talking about, brother. Yeah, exactly. And so do you think some, you know, your average DGEN trying to get their money back on? All my baby grok is gone. Baby grok. Like, grok in you. Jesus. Is that a thing?

[00:19:44] I swear to God. Yeah, well that's like all of the shit coins that spur off of iso successful project or something that's knowable. It's always like, so to say like flocky. So there was like classic flocky. Okay. There was like flocky 2.0, flocky baby flocky.

[00:20:04] All these variations are all shit coins and they all are fucking pump and dumps that barely last like two hours. Well another crypto project has been accused of a rug pole. We're not sure if it's actually is one yet. This here courtesy of Web 3 is going great.

[00:20:19] The wonderful Molly White. Trip.com accused of a rug pole as it shuts down its Trekkie NFTs. Are you familiar with this? Do you know about this? I never heard of this. So I had heard about this because it was June of last year

[00:20:32] when it came out and it was a dolphin themed NFT collection and the idea was that you would, it was a unique staking feature called travel to grow or travel to earn essentially. The idea being is that you would use trip.com to book a trip

[00:20:48] and then when you arrived in your destination you'd do some sort of blockchain, I don't know exactly what it was. But it was like, okay the distance you traveled is applied as a, I don't even remember the mechanics of it but I remember being,

[00:21:05] okay well at least it's interesting and novel. Like you're trying something. Yeah like something's being tried. Of course this was not sustainable. No of course not. Here's the trip.com promise that is discount coupon functionality would remain. So yes if you travel

[00:21:20] and you get discount coupons and whatnot, one person in response to the shutdown can't believe at Trip a multi-billion dollar company is also a rogued project and Trekkie writing here with, yeah we regret to announce the official termination. The website's gonna be retained.

[00:21:38] Discount and coupons will be retained. Users can claim coupons through July of next year, July 1st. All phase two features terminated. Yeah here is future possibilities considering the unpredictable changes in the futures we do not rule out the possibility of restarting the Trekkie project

[00:21:57] at some point in the future if the Trekkie team launches new projects additional benefits may be granted to NFT holders. Yeah I don't think that's gonna happen. Probably not. But it even goes to show that when a company actually has at least an idea

[00:22:14] that seems like it can be executed on it's still not viable. No because it's the scaling. It doesn't scale. I think that's a major problem with these types of things. And I mean what's even like the fucking floor Trekkie wow. That's here floor price 0.0051 ETH.

[00:22:33] I think that's not even 10 bucks. I don't get NFT people. I see some of these guys on Twitter they're like oh you know I'm sweeping the fucking floor on such such project. I think the only guys that actually like made out

[00:22:49] doing that were the guys that bought like Pudgy Penguins and stuff like that. Something really early. Well I mean Pudgy Penguins kind of sat around and did nothing for what feels like a couple years. And then they you know you can go to

[00:23:05] a fucking apparently go like Walmart and buy Pudgy Penguin stuffies and shit like that and there's like product and all that. I think we talked about this a couple months ago. Yeah. I think like Pudgy Penguins is like I think the only OG NFT project from like 2021

[00:23:22] that's actually still in the way of the Pudgy Penguins is actually still like doing something. I mean board apes are still around. Yeah but I mean they sold like their neverhood lands that never went anywhere and then they had that one mint where

[00:23:40] what was it like $400 to just like approve a transaction. I mean you think it was like a transaction itself. Oh geez there's so much crypto stuff that just goes it blows right over me like a breeze.

[00:23:52] I just like around. I had like a thought the other day of just how much money has just been shat down the leg with not just NFTs but with board apes. Specifically that ecosystem. Yeah it's it's got to be a huge amount. I'm sure it's considerable.

[00:24:10] Gosh the people that gave us dookie dash turn out they weren't good at sustainable projects. A turd themed video game couldn't turn a profit are you kidding me with this. They had problems with hackers. Yeah yeah

[00:24:24] anything that's popular is going to do that though I mean look at Team Fortress like a fortnight destiny. That was the other joke I had for the Trump attempt at assassination was that if I were going to do something like that my manifesto would be something like

[00:24:39] Val Fick's TFT2. Yeah. Bungee Fick's Destiny 2. I think it probably would be easier if it's Team Fortress. Fair enough. Fair enough. That's fair. I think one of my monkey paw wishes would be make me care about Destiny 2 again. Easier said than done. Yeah I don't know.

[00:24:59] Well brother I'm going to tell you something. It was relevant to the topic. A couple years ago I was in Chicago and I was seeing a show at the Metro. I think it was like Sujav Sivans or Phoenix or some bullshit

[00:25:11] and I was using the bathroom and she goes urinating with the urinal as one does. Yeah. And I thought I heard someone behind me and I looked around and I didn't see anyone. I'm about to finish up and all of a sudden

[00:25:26] someone comes up behind me and they put their hand over my mouth and with the other hand they start going at my belt. Okay. They undo my belt. Okay. They get at my dick. Uh huh. And I'm struggling. I'm struggling. I'm struggling to get the fuck out. Yeah.

[00:25:44] He's going he's going for my dick and he's squeezing my balls like he's trying to pop a cherry tomato. Jesus. He starts jacking me off. I mean it's like sandpaper. It hurts so much. Like I just like feel my like my toenails like digging to the insoles

[00:25:59] of my shoes and this felt like it went on forever. When it was over I'm up against the wall. I'm just like yeah I look over. It was Bill Murray. And you know what he said to me? He said no one will ever believe you.

[00:26:19] Oh this is happening to you too. And I was like I was thinking like I bet the guys on the chive will believe me. Yeah they probably would. Oh boy. So the chive if you haven't figured out was our main topic tonight. Jesus.

[00:26:45] You got me. You got me real good for a minute there and I'm like okay this is a joke. What's the punch that was. I couldn't figure out what the punch was going to be. Maybe that's just top trauma drunk. Right. Yeah it's like oh okay let me

[00:27:00] you know let's get you some help but the chive. Hard to move on from that. I didn't mean to throw this right up against the chive. The chive. The chive started in 2008 by Two Brothers. John and Leo Resig subtitled probably the best site in the world

[00:27:21] a claim that is dubious at best. So these two brothers Two brothers just two brothers just two brothers and so they started this website but they have been kind of entrepreneurs for a while they both hail from Fort Wayne Indiana

[00:27:39] which is an interesting place to kind of start up but so co-founding the chive media group the parent company of the chive but also the berry the chivery and chive rare coins. It's listed I know it's listed as a photo blog

[00:27:57] and entertainment website but it is mostly known as a men's entertainment website I've heard it referred to as what if X by spray were a website. Yes or what if Max and never put out a magazine and it was a website only that kind of a lad mag.

[00:28:15] Yes it's would say stuff or whatever it is you know whatever your lad mag of choice is but yes that is essentially the vibe and kind of the thing that they're going for a Max Read Coined term called the Zinternet

[00:28:30] This phrase he also referred to it as like the bar stool internet. Okay the Zinternet the Hock Tui and the Zinternet Yes so this was a couple weeks ago Max Read sub-stack Read Max his idea is

[00:28:48] because he's talking about Hock Tui and everybody knows what that is because we talked about it a couple weeks ago it's not precisely a mystery why a video of a cute girl making raunchy jokes or to track detention online but the broad success is less about

[00:29:00] its own quality than about the increasing size and cultural power of something I'm going to call the Zinternet Now he claims it was the past 10 years or so but I think it was longer than that a broad community of fratty horn dog, boorishly provocative 20 and sometimes embarrassingly 30 somethings

[00:29:17] mostly but by no means entirely male has emerged to form a newly prominent online sub-culture this network is adjacent to the sports internet of 40 something dads and the hustle internet of Miami crypto bullshit and the reactionary internet of trad influencers but is its own distinct

[00:29:35] community with its own distinct cultural reference college sports gambling light beer Zin Zin nicotine pouches and influential personalities amongst them Dave Portnoy Pat McAfee Antonio Brown and the podcast call her daddy so I think that broad framework that Max Reed to come up with

[00:29:53] for the Zinternet I think that kind of applies maybe retroactively because again this was 2008 couple years before what Max Reed would call the Zinternet became a thing but I mean it's frankly the same stuff it's very bro-ified reading here about the chive from the chives website

[00:30:14] the chive is home to the best funny viral and interesting photos from around the world the chive it's like ebombs world for dudes that are going to die from skin cancer alright what's really funny is that one of the guys John Ressig did have a bit part

[00:30:37] in the HBO vampire drama true blood that is so fucking weird actually he was on it for a couple seasons he was deputy Kevin a deputy Kevin Ellis I'm sure but you know having a broad cv but like huh?

[00:30:55] in John's bio on the chive John thinks he's Peter Pan and has no plans to leave an emotional state exceeding that of a college freshman ever what about the women of the chive though Brian oh the women of the chive are they smoke shows sir

[00:31:10] apparently Emily aka Emrez which means that she's married to one of the brothers yeah here it is over a couple of pints at Emmett's pub John and Leo convinced her she said yes immediately to quit her job and start the site in November of

[00:31:25] 09 since then she has thrown out all of her calendars and has stopped setting her alarm she has no idea what day it is now and then Megan I'm guessing the younger sister Megan is the youngest sibling of the Ressig clan

[00:31:37] you might be asking yourself what does superhybrid mean she takes on all the genetic traits that make Emily Leo and John baller status if you will so I'm guessing Emily is another sister Emily Ress Emrez so okay weird not going on here oh family affair like

[00:31:55] I'm also gonna say not to be too judgmental but going by these two ladies are foes here on the website these feel like they were taken like probably 2009 or 2010 yeah yeah yeah at the beach somebody's wedding yeah like Megan's haircut those swoopy bangs very very feels very

[00:32:16] oh yeah my boyfriend has a DJ night place it has dollar TBRs you know yeah so lest you think the chive and the chive family of websites is only for the men the ladies got their own site called theBerry.com I'm not really sure what that's about but

[00:32:34] what makes the chive interesting at least from a internet historical perspective for me is not so much the barrage of beer soaked broy memes but that they were very famous for about three years for doing elaborate hoaxes some of them not even all that elaborate

[00:32:52] honestly when we do stuff like this when we talk about these kind of like more historical websites yeah it is hard to imagine that people fell for this shit right you could get away with something so simple yeah some something so blatantly transparent because

[00:33:10] if you look at it now so one of their first ones was the teen texting disaster hoax now this one they explain on their own website the article reads last week the chive published a story about a young lady named Lizzie Frisinger on a class trip who accidentally

[00:33:31] sent a text message to her father after losing her virginity the story exploded onto the blogosphere the inquisitor buzzfeed in Huffington Post were just a few named sites that picked up the story but it didn't stop there ABC's The View devoted an entire segment to the story

[00:33:49] and this morning the Today Show follow suit both national outlets reporting the incident as true and just minutes ago on the East Coast Jay Leno reported the story on The Tonight Show how did we pull off this hoax they say well

[00:34:07] they found a photo find a camera okay they shot some photos there find a phone they faked a contact named dad it was probably one of the brothers OMG writes the fake Lizzie just had first time on beach great I wish you were here exclamation point

[00:34:25] and the father responding I'm assuming this was intended for someone else Lizzie class trip is over tomorrow 7am delta number and then they blacked it out use my credit card for taxi three steps three photos they had a huge uproar about this I remember this

[00:34:46] yes and it was fake just as fake is text from Bennett hey but my favorite is the tag they added on this and there you have it a viral meme in three easy steps you don't have to worry about us pulling this again

[00:35:01] the chive is a photo blog not a news source well they did it again folks yes they did it again so the teenage texting disaster happened in 2008 now the year before they had done one involving Donald Trump and that one I can't imagine Donald Trump being as

[00:35:19] generous yes David Sarno for the Los Angeles Times did you hear that Donald Trump recently left some Santa Monica waiter at $10,000 tip oh yeah where did you hear it from because if it was anywhere in the giant asteroid belt that is the celebrity blogosphere

[00:35:37] or even at Fox News dot com to fame or Eon line of the Huffington Post you might want to check your sources everything about that story was false such as the plausible looking receipt showing the monster tip and Trump's signature the existence of Billy D

[00:35:52] a putative waiter at Santa Monica's Buffalo Club as well as the fact that Trump had been in Los Angeles this week at all Trump told the New York Post page 6 he wasn't in California that day and that quote this was done by the stupid restaurant to get publicity

[00:36:07] so yes folks I've been to the Buffalo Club I wouldn't tip there if they had a gun to my head now what's even fun terrible people what's even funnier is that this L.A. Times piece claims that the actual hoax was perpetrated by

[00:36:21] D.Rober dot com D.Rober run by John Resig that's right D.Rober's John Resig spilled the beans and laughingly marveled at the hoax's success how many people get on the front page of Fox News with a story that doesn't contain one single ounce

[00:36:36] of truth he wandered in amazement for the remaining years we realize that's not as hard as it makes it sound but Ariana Huffington Huffington Post even got in on the action Ariana Huffington explained it was an unavoidable anti perk of the internet news flow

[00:36:54] the Huffington Post fully vets its own original reporting she explained in an email but this kind of third party content isn't easy to verify yes things move fast on the internet she wrote on the website of this occasionally an inaccurate story

[00:37:09] can get a lot of quick pickup upside the internet corrects itself very quickly and let's remember this wasn't a phony story about aluminum tubes put on the front page of the New York Times this was a fun positive story oh yes aluminum tubes the weapons of mass destruction

[00:37:27] stories this was 2007 so yeah oh boy we can have a laugh folks can we laugh we have to we have to because there's no other option the chive continued their reign of terror well on into the late sorry 2010 arguably their most famous hoax

[00:37:51] the one that people still remember to this day this one I fucking hated you hated it for a second I saw it out like even if this is real it's fucking stupid yes the basics of the story is that the chive put out the series of photographs

[00:38:06] girl quits her job on dry erase board emails entire office this format about the dry erase board and like telling the whole office has been mimicked on tech talk now you'll instead of the dry erase board it's just like text

[00:38:21] oh and then they're pointing at it you know that kind of thing it's been done it's been redone basically because there's like stuff that was being said in the hoax they're like didn't make any sense that people picked up on really quick yeah I don't

[00:38:36] again I haven't really thought about this too much in the last couple of years I have more important things to think about like why Fallout 4 is a bad game oh yeah Hoppa hot piece of ass or whatever yes that was the big

[00:38:53] the an acronym that came out of that according to the chive here we go I quit I've learned a lot these past two years and I'm gonna miss all of you except one I'm looking at you Spencer being your assistant's been a special hell

[00:39:08] I put up with your temper your bad breath because I wanted to be a broker on Friday I transferred you a call I was about to hang up when I heard you call me a Hoppa Hoppa hot piece of ass

[00:39:20] is that really all you thought of me did you ever wonder everybody in the office called the trash a garbage dispenser Office morale is down since you installed the little office snitch so you could monitor how we spend our time online so I wondered

[00:39:35] how does Spencer spend his time online you gave me the codes after all 4 hours a week on scott trade 5.3 hours a week on tech crunch and drum roll 19.7 hours a week playing farm bill wow hopas moving on and she's done a outfit change now

[00:39:54] oh she took her glasses off and now she's hot see that's the she has value now in our society although I don't have another job something tells me I'll be just fine that got passed around just it was everywhere you couldn't avoid it it was

[00:40:12] months months of this that was a lie that was Elise Porterfield the actress it was suggested by some that twenty ten saw a series of online quitting posts there was the guy who quit jet blue and slid out the escape it's right he pulled the slide

[00:40:34] actually kind of fucking rules yeah and so they kind of took that idea and we're like oh well what if we did it through a series of images where she writes on a whiteboard which is fine but yeah it was all bullshit it was all a hoax

[00:40:49] it only took him a day to cop to it which is really funny Chicago business blog from a gentleman named Robert Lorzell a day later the chai revealed it all but a hoax Jenny was actress Elise Porterfield communicating again by dry erase board

[00:41:04] she said I've had a blast and more than anything I hope you've all been entertained Leo Ressig is quoted as saying people love job quitting stories everyone's had a job they don't like they've always wanted to piece out in a dramatic fashion

[00:41:18] so that's exactly what this girl this actress did in this case Mr. Ressig credits his brother John who works out of California for concocting Jenny's story yeah so that it says it wasn't the first time and then they recount the Donald Trump tip story Leo Ressig is also

[00:41:36] quoted as saying we've cried wolf a few times but we're gonna keep doing what we're doing we're not too concerned journalistic integrity people will keep coming back because we're not really reporting the news anyone who thinks the chive is reporting the news

[00:41:52] raise your hands because you're getting fucking fired from this podcast you're getting pushed into the old mind and so what does the chive look like today it's fine it's whatever here's uh here's the chive hot fails are sweet here's ladies somehow doing failing this is like BuzzFeed

[00:42:12] for guys that own like a shirt this is like you know cool story babe now make me a sandwich 15 restaurant employees reveal which foods to avoid at all costs and it's Adam Sandler holding a subway sandwich so alright you got me there hump day okay alright

[00:42:30] keep cats and chonk on okay that was the one thing actually when the internet meme of keep calm and carry on which was kind of discovered in an old British something or other and it was supposed to be a world war two kind of

[00:42:45] keep calm and carry on that was there but it never really made a splash in England and so for some reason it was unearthed in the mid 2000s and became a thing well people who are big fans of the chive

[00:42:57] like to say keep calm and chive on brother fuck me I think a lot of like my weird anger on the internet in like the early 2010s came from stuff like this like this was like the normie culture yes on the internet like Twitter

[00:43:20] was like the last refuge of people like just being weird on the internet for just the sake of being weird and interesting and I felt like these people came in with their pukashell necklaces and their dogs and little pink purses and their bad highlights and they're just like

[00:43:41] whoa, she queer John fuck you sick bro it's crazy man, ah it's not real what? no way bro no way I'm slice I think Barack Obama was a boy in America I think there is a direct line to like the chive

[00:43:59] and like thinking like raw milk is good for you look at the careers let's see who they're hiring for I want to get a job at the chive they don't have any okay well there you go they got a lot of broken links I've noticed

[00:44:17] oh cool I'm getting a shirt side quest for tacos, I'm so fucking wacky everyone fucking loves me at Ameritrade get your riz off my lawn I got that dog in me hotter than a hoochie-coochie I heart plant dang my lips based around meat based meals

[00:44:39] Houston I have so many problems get your own tots Tina you fat lard wow Napoleon Dynamite references on a $35 t-shirt Napoleon Dynamite which turns 20 years old this summer yeah I actually got to see an advanced screen of that movie and still have a bunch of swag

[00:45:01] from it I have a couple sticker sheets what did you think of Napoleon Dynamite? at the time I remember getting like the Napoleon Dynamite branded chapstick perfect in my swag bag it was I thought until I realized it was a bunch of weird fucking Mormons

[00:45:15] I thought it was really funny and creative and weird I've always thought that was weird Mormon shit okay this is like half funny now yeah I definitely changed the game a little bit go away Napoleon I'm talking to hot babes online yeah there's your mom goes to college

[00:45:30] there's some stuff give me those tots I bet you I could throw this football over these mountains I guess you could say it's getting pretty we've been talking on the internet so I guess it's getting pretty serious

[00:45:41] yeah but there's a lot of stuff to like about that movie someone thing that struck me when thinking about the chive is that it felt like unlike any number of the sites we've talked about in past or even recently yeah

[00:45:57] it never really created memes of its own with the exception of that really dumb keep calm and chive on nonsense yeah it's um kinda like an internet wasteland it feels like where things go to die yeah it's just dumps of photos

[00:46:13] and people who are really obsessed with the site call those stuff chivers which is just painful it's painful the guys podcast with Brian formerly of street fight oh they recently did an episode on chivers I'll say like a month or so ago I have not listened to it

[00:46:34] it seems like the responses is one of the more grading episodes they've done not necessarily by what Brian and CJ his co-host have done right I'm feeling a little I feel like I could like fight a guy like right now you got that Cayman Jack strawberry margarita

[00:46:54] yeah I picked up a tall boy I had to stop at the grocery store to grab something for dinner I was like fuck alright I was looking at the tall boys and I was thinking like you know if we didn't have shit to do tomorrow

[00:47:07] if I didn't have shit to do tomorrow if you didn't have shit to do tomorrow I should probably get the Fort Loco you know it's a gnarly part time living you can just get Fort Loco at the grocery store yeah I mean the grocery stores around here

[00:47:20] also carry it so I haven't paid attention to the tall boys selections lately not much of a tall boy drinker now in my late 30s 10 years ago it was a little bit of a different story but I was like you know what

[00:47:32] I saw about getting like a twist of tea because that feels like kind of a chiver type of drink I don't know the Cayman Jack strawberry margarita definitely got me in the right mindset I'm just going to give it a try

[00:47:44] these are the guys that are killing these by the dozens and going like yeah broski let's go floating let's go let's go party co bro let's go see some trim bro that's exactly right so after 2010 they really kind of eased up on the whole internet hoaxes thing

[00:48:02] they still kept the chive running again they've got the sister site the berry which is supposed to be for the ladies ladies rest assured you have your own fucking website the verge four years ago did a piece on them called boob job how the chive built an empire

[00:48:24] out of bro bait and then they sub head the website defined frat culture in 2010 but can it survive a decade later this written by Zoe Schiffer I think Zoe that you underestimate exactly how stupid people are she opens the article with boobs are back damn

[00:48:42] you gotta love it they probably never left at the chive website dedicated to humor hotness and humanity they're everywhere bouncing in slide shows in the company's homepage spilling out of models push up bras the chive asks you to reconsider what you know about cultural progress here racy photos

[00:49:02] are always empowering lewd comments are downright chivalrous chivers men who read the chive are quick to emphasize that the website is about more than hot women it's a community of people who prioritize friendship and charity above all else except perhaps having a good time

[00:49:18] chivers are veterans first responders midwesterners they might be republicans but you can't say for sure because the chive never talks about politics the apolitical tits centric aesthetic makes looking at the chive feel like time traveling to the early 2000s pre-cancer culture pre-me to pre-president trump women called chivets

[00:49:38] submit seductive photos of themselves in the hopes of being featured in a recurring slide show titled FLBP future lower back problems i um a very very old ex of mine we're talking like almost 20 years ago we still keep in touch sporadically and i remember her telling me

[00:50:06] in the late 2000s you know how my boyfriend convinced me i should submit photos to the chive and i was like that guy is a low value male that's cool i hope you're not hoping to get married to this guy

[00:50:22] i would think more of this man if he suggested you sent photos to howard stern or penthouse or even the local horn dog and the buttfucker radio show morning zoo we should get a fucking sir mattress out of it or a gift card to fooders

[00:50:38] or whatever so this was most illustrative because again this was 2020 the chive headquarters in austin texas has a decorating scheme somewhere between playboy mansion and southern frat house copper bar, bearskin rug decorative ak47s nearly 100 young workers and the chives it looks like a typical tech company

[00:51:02] save for the images of lube and semi-naked women on people's screens the office is most well known for having a wooden slide that looks like it could break a tailbone sloping from the second floor to the first a camera position at the bottom

[00:51:16] is ready to capture any major wipeouts april fools day is a big deal for the chive last year again 2019 it pretended to launch firefest 2 the year before it became a north korean news station people were pissed john says

[00:51:34] this year it's either going to pretend it's been bought out by buzzfeed say that rogue ai has taken over the site is trying to masquerade as a human or go with the medieval theme okay i'm gonna say something here it's by all my hostilities i bet

[00:51:53] if you're really in this shit like this it's gonna be the worst place to work no it sounds like a baller this kind of sounds like it would be interesting yeah they did say publicly and to their employees in 2016 cousin bob again this is all in the family

[00:52:11] the resting family is all over this website so cousin bob sent an email to the editorial staff and they're quote keep politics out of content john responded with his own rallying and cried quote we're in a great position this morning because we doubled down

[00:52:25] on the average american over the past years i could even say middle america and our military we won by not being snarky or talking down to our audience now it's time to claim our prize because it turns out it's finally okay to be an average american again eugh

[00:52:43] eugh i don't like that one that feels bad yeah i don't like that either but i mean what do you expect they started their you know their endeavors by doing a donald trump hoax that cast him in a positive light so you gotta wonder

[00:53:01] i don't have a lot of faith in donald trump being like a crazy tipper i would probably give him the benefit of the doubt that he's probably tipped a couple hundred bucks sure you know leave a couple hundo

[00:53:13] the bare minimum though on like a two thousand dollar bill you know he's tipping like ten percent or whatever yeah but i've always heard stories about like howard stern and other celebrities that like always leaving like really generous tips not like

[00:53:23] ten thousand dollars but like oh that make that made that person's month so i mentioned briefly earlier that there is a charitable component to the chive now this is the only thing that i think makes the chive kind of still worth having around

[00:53:37] because they did launch a charity arm in 2012 with a focus on veterans first responders and people with rare medical conditions so it's essentially a rotating series of charities it says here if the chive heard about a family who needed an accessible vehicle

[00:53:53] to transport their kid with special needs chive charities fundraise to get the car john here quoted as we're like the Oprah Winfrey of ADA accessible vehicles not the comparison you want to go for but all right the chive charities has continued

[00:54:13] i think the most recent one was this gentleman named Richard G the wheelchair crowd surfer you know in love it says one of the longest standing chive nation members Roland Rick Rick lived in Vegas he met two of his good friends who were both chivers

[00:54:29] okay and chive charities fell in love with this guy they they sent him out to do some crazy shit in Chicago Richard turned to the Chicago chivers on advice whether he might be able to get some help from chive charities

[00:54:45] and so he applied thanks to the incredible support from our donors with the help of his mom we were able to provide a grant of $15,475 to help Richard redo his shower add stabilization bars and a bench and widen the doorways in his home

[00:55:01] to accommodate his wheelchair not a bad thing if you really think about it yeah if you're getting plastered with a purpose like i can't really hate too hard on that it's just there's a general grindiness to kind of digesting the chive

[00:55:17] like it's definitely horny in a way that like it's kind of outdated yeah it really the chive really does feel like it's built for grown men that would get really excited if they found like a moldy playboy like in a woods woods porn

[00:55:33] i'm sure a good number of chivers have their own woods porn stories at least at some point you know they're not without their controversy is 2015 one of the owners that John called an all hands meeting to announce he was dating his assistant

[00:55:49] and of course when the pair broke up it caused problems former employee explains there were no boundaries between work and life it was all just one big party all the time for me personally i was single in 25

[00:56:01] i didn't know any better i thought it was a great place to work i slowly realized how toxic was once on an email chain asking employees to quote define douchebag presumably for editorial purposes the assistant sent a reply all that read an unappreciative narcissistic

[00:56:17] man child that craves attention and demands praise john then responded with his own definition a silly blonde who is secretly a brunette and dies her hair every two weeks check the roots and is secretly addicted to painkillers and crystal meth so you know how not great

[00:56:38] again it's one of those things where like it's a toxic workplace even though you might not realize it even though you might be the target demographic you probably don't want to work there because of the whole sexual harassment part of my uh

[00:56:54] my i was looking for work recently i interviewed with a place that was like doing like freight brokerage like a third party and uh they had really odd frat boy culture like very like wolf of wall street yeah for like not even i think

[00:57:10] 12 dudes in a mostly empty office in the basement of a building i never thought of in west county like oh i've driven past this building before i didn't know there was actually anything in here um i actually took like the freight elevator down oh yeah because i was

[00:57:26] like noticing like there was like hooks like put padding so like if you're moving furniture it wouldn't get banged up i'm like the fuck how do this yeah um i went on indeed and checked their like reviews and there were so many like one and two star reviews

[00:57:42] from people like i came here for a serious job everyone just wants to get fucked up and be bros and i'm like oh that would be the sober guy that thrived in this environment everyone's getting fucking trash like i can be the

[00:57:54] one eyed man yeah land of the blind exactly right so i thought i thought i had run into the chive content recently and i was right in the local bar down the street oh yeah they have something called chive tv which is one of the rezzik brothers

[00:58:14] other business ideas and they take viral videos with attribution i will say they do you know show you the user who published these videos online and they run it in an endless stream that you can put up on your bar's television and and yeah right

[00:58:34] down the street here and in many other places around the city and here in st louis atmosphere tv is the streaming they have things that are like specifically vibes based so there's one that's like super human tricks called super human

[00:58:50] or there's one where it's just like all pets called paul as there's a news one there's happy tv which is all this positive content chive tv which is just basically all the different viral videos there

[00:59:02] there's a trivia there's an atmosphere trivia i did play atmosphere trivia without realizing it was a chive thing it's like puzzles riddles things like that i feel like i have encountered chive tv like when traveling

[00:59:14] and just being at like somewhere to get lunch i'm like yeah i just we just need to get like something to eat here this place doesn't have terrible reviews

[00:59:22] and it's like a real help or whatever just came from the same which yeah and is the official tv channel of the bar that has a very okay but reasonably priced Caesar chicken wrap yeah pretty much that's where you'll see

[00:59:34] it videos videos of guys like oh are they gonna fall and they got like the 360 camera like oh yeah guys competitively racing drones and shit and oh yeah yeah chive on brother man what i call stupid human tricks after the human

[00:59:50] it yeah because i mean it's like trick shots and then there's guys you know do an extreme stunts and like guys and and like oh they're they're hopping through like an abandoned water park yeah there's like drone footage it's like slowed down uh huh oh yeah just

[01:00:06] so you'll see it if you go basically go on the day starts taking a blow job day or is that something else i think it feels like something spiritually connected i think that was reddit though several websites wikipedia says claim to

[01:00:22] the to be the official site but none of them identify as the creator the sites concurred that the holiday was devised by radio DJ Tom birdsy in 2002 during a show on W FNX radio station in boston, Massachusetts so no site is actually the

[01:00:42] official one of those according to uh Lois banner of the day apparently was a backlash against feminism feels very smooth yeah men's health was unsure whether the holiday was actually celebrated or whether it was a joke there was also a backlash to that called cake and cuddling

[01:01:02] created by a web designer so yeah i'm just very stupid low world apricots and anal in this i don't know what's the next step there apples and anal there you go speaking of anal it's a shock dot jpeg hairs and pro lapses speaking of pro lapses it's

[01:01:24] shocked at jpeg time you've all been waiting for oh baby oh baby what what fucking mockery of the human condition do you have for us today jason i have here today something called merry christmas or merry holidays excuse me merry holidays merry holidays it was originally known as

[01:01:48] merry fucking christmas it's also been called happy holidays it's had a few names it lived a lot of lives it was on lull shock was on best shockers it had its own website but it all originates here according to the screamer wiki from a 52 minute pornographic

[01:02:04] video slaves no mercy bachelorette special by Irene boss but it was condensed into the we see here so there's a man spanking his own ass with the santa hat and beard on oh that's really going in there oh no oh no sparkler

[01:02:32] and just cuts off right there so yeah it's yeah so that was a tour of the force so Irene boss seen performing any number of sexual depravities upon himself including sticking firecrackers in his ass having sex with a pumpkin inflatable

[01:02:52] dolls let's see here inserting a banana up his ass and then eating it yeah that was upsetting pulling a rainbow lollipop out of his ass doing an enema making out with a blow up doll penetrating a raw turkey and then supposedly eating his own

[01:03:08] come out of it same thing with a pumpkin just a tour of force better than furiosa it wasn't that bad I said I did we'll get to that yeah Mary holidays I think was probably yeah because it doesn't it's not just Christmas no it's Thanksgiving

[01:03:30] Valentine's Day maybe Valentine's Day was in Halloween with the pumpkins I guess Thanksgiving my personal favorite was when he made the blow up doll sheep fuck the blow up doll guy yeah what are you getting out of this

[01:03:45] and there's also a couple scenes where it's obviously a second person yeah that's a choice you gotta wonder like okay somebody's filming it but I always thought it was just a tripod

[01:03:56] you know but yeah but there's like a zoom there's some zoom going on there and there's also like a brief scene or looks like a woman is being his ass pretty hard with something yeah yeah that was the prey you know thanks for enriching my life

[01:04:08] that's what we aim to do yeah really really appreciate really appreciate this originally it was just fucking ex-miss was the website there got picked up by a few other places but yeah I like the first comment here on the screamer wiki by the user

[01:04:24] I has ears from 19 months ago yeah about a year and some changing yeah I still wonder and even after trying to find it if the 60 minute version is real yeah you do have to wonder because I mean I think it would be much easier

[01:04:39] to do a bunch of small clips out of context than it would be to cut down a 52 minute video those gross thanks dude it wasn't gross because he was expressing himself sexually what he was doing to express

[01:04:51] himself sexually was upsetting it was the do-do it's mostly the do-do thankfully it's like a 340p file thank god yeah so there's really there's a lot just like up to your

[01:05:03] imagination yeah is that a do oh yeah that is a do you know you kind of get that it's so abstracted because of the resolution thank god it's one of those things where you're like okay well you know what at least it's not worse

[01:05:15] it could be worse it could be so much worse it could be 4k you know gr10 just fully you know oh you can see the different shades of brown in the dookie you know I feel like I should get prospector

[01:05:31] opinion on this maybe I think maybe this is like the the cultural mythology by like gooners really covering like their 360 and like 4aep like old files maybe there's a sense of abstraction but like

[01:05:47] that's how you go out looking for it right but I feel like there is a lot less stuff like what you just showed me in like 10aep and 4k like I just don't think that's there I think there's some anonymity that was provided by the primitive audio

[01:06:07] and visual quality these early like shock videos and shock images and things like that well I also think that a lot of what you're gonna find when you're looking for something specific like this is something that's really shot by amateurs right so it's not gonna be on

[01:06:23] really high quality formats even now you know it would be shot on like a cell phone camera or something like that and still it ends up looking unreal like that video of the donkey getting hit by the fucking train in dingeladesh where like it's

[01:06:39] you've seen this yeah I've seen it I love how it just like like just explodes like it's a ps1 it still doesn't feel real even though like that's a high it is a relatively high quality image that donkey still blows

[01:06:55] up like it's a fucking crash bandicoot enemy yeah like it's in Gary's mod or something yeah like it's just like which makes you wonder like I guess life is this absurd I think it is it's time for your mom's favorite part of the show it's time

[01:07:11] for the breast bit after that I think it's time for a breath mint Brian fascinating thing this week is at least two of our breath mints are shared experiences gosh yeah you and I went on a little bro date that's what my wife

[01:07:27] called it which you know it's fine it's just like you didn't you know didn't bother to kiss me afterwards so I felt kind of weird about it but I'm moving too fast I know I know it's fine I know I know I'm sorry but it'll happen

[01:07:43] I know I know you can't force it and we went see long legs the horror movie that everybody's talking about except it's not a horror movie it's a suspense film it is it's a thriller it's a thriller I enjoyed it quite bit so did I

[01:07:59] upon reflection when I walked out of the theater I think I kind of intimated to you that like I was a little disappointed but I think that is down to the marketing because every piece of marketing I've seen was billing it as you're gonna shit your

[01:08:15] pants and your ancestors are gonna you know look down upon you with shame for seeing such a horrible horror movie yeah I saw some of that too I really didn't know anything about the movie going in but of course algorithm after having seen it and talked about it

[01:08:31] start serving me ads for it like on YouTube and other platforms right and was kind of like wow yeah no the online ads aren't really selling the movie for what it is no I think that's go buy in the ass at some point yeah because word of mouth

[01:08:47] right now is still getting around there like yeah it's good but it's not a horror movie and hopefully that'll kind of make the rounds because I'm on Letterbox someone Letterbox all the time and yeah are you following Will Medeker of course

[01:08:59] movie mindset you gotta have you gotta have it following him Demi Ogari Bay and Matt Lachansky and a couple other like people that we kind of and there's even a joke account on Letterbox called the drill reviews where it takes a recent

[01:09:15] drill tweet and applies it to a recent movie that's pretty good perfect the one for long legs was why is everyone filming and nobody helping him it's just great so long legs Brian for those of you in the audience who may

[01:09:31] not have seen it will try to avoid spoilers as much as you can will tag them if they do come up but long legs is a pedigree right it's got this silence the lambs type deal where it's young FBI agent she's on assignment she was intuitive in

[01:09:47] this one case that they show you and so they said well maybe she's going to be intuitive enough to kind of pick up what's going on with this long legs case that we've had for forever since the 70s and it's creepy

[01:09:59] and it's got this seven vibe where there's these crime scenes yeah unusual it feels a little bit like silence the lambs a little bit like seven a little bit hereditary yeah I got that from some of the some of the devil stuff

[01:10:11] that they kept creeping in there but yeah it there's visual motifs triangles and whatnot so they're all over the movie I think it was also like it's set in the 90s one of the things I really appreciate about the aesthetic

[01:10:27] and the set dressing of that movie is that so much shit even though it's in the 90s is still like stuck in the 60s and 70s yes which is how I distinctly remember growing up in the neighborhood that I grew up in in Spanish Lake which is

[01:10:43] like yeah like people like there's people that have like you know computers and shit like I had neighbors with computers even when that was a fucking fancy ass thing Andrew gateway that you got from yeah you know something from comp USA or whatever but like

[01:10:59] grandpa was you know your buddy your friends kid down the street his grandpa might still be driving like the fucking late 70s Celica yes or something like or everything's old you go into the basement of someone's house or even the house

[01:11:13] you're living in like my grandparents house like all kinds of weird old shit like I have like in my mom's basement like a whole entire like giant box of like old toys that were like my mom and her sister's toys

[01:11:25] original like 1960s like cooties and stuff like that right so I really felt like that was a good slice mm-hmm of where this place was because I still distinctly remember that being the case until probably like the early 2000s is like you could go somewhere

[01:11:45] and aside from a few maybe comforts like this shit hasn't really changed in the last 30 years yeah I had that same feeling of like going back and catching an X files episode sure but yes growing up in that time period

[01:12:01] it definitely rings true a lot of the trappings because like yeah a lot and it takes place in the pacific northwest because all good creepy stories have to sure and the cars were right the clothing was right like there's a lot of details

[01:12:17] that they get so right and this is Oz Perkins son of Anthony Perkins which I always love as a nice little factoid but you can definitely tell that Oz Perkins studied his hitchcock because shots will linger right and things will build tension in ways that

[01:12:37] modern movies don't always do unless they're ariaster you know what I mean like there's maybe a few techniques that are much older it kind of like yeah I was raised by

[01:12:49] a guy who was in these types of movies and I got it you know I got the bug and I kind of got into this concept and you can show it's all up there on the screen

[01:12:57] even though it's set in the 90s right the music is by T-Rex he loved that detail all the licensed music yeah you're right the non-diagetic music is very creepy and very modern but in a way that kind of feels like

[01:13:13] it would have belonged right it doesn't feel like a place like this is there's no friction there's a great moment in the opening there's a brilliant little opening scene and then it starts looking almost like it was shot on super 8 and then as the credits go

[01:13:29] the aspect ratio widens thank you so like a 16 by 9 or whatever it's so slow it's just it's bringing you into the movie it's washing over you this experience of the film and I appreciate that little detail

[01:13:45] that was kind of neat I always love to see an aspect change happen in a movie and I like to see how they happen yeah it just lots a little bit of creativity it's a small cast

[01:13:57] everyone's performance pretty much nails it I feel like as far as characterization or what they have to do I feel like the mother might be the weakest part she's barely in it trying to get in the spoiler territory some of the motivations have become apparent near the end

[01:14:13] they're a little flimsy you could give us more there's a couple plot points near the back there the movie that could have used a little bit more world building or even just more dialogue I think that was a major issue for me too because

[01:14:33] the way the movie sets itself up is that it's going to be a serial killer thriller right it takes a left turn and it introduces some supernatural stuff and I think that's where my disconnect hit I was all in when it was just silence of the lambs

[01:14:53] or when it was just seven but then it hits like the supernatural skid and I go oh yeah and I think like you said if it had been handled with a little bit more of an even hand so I saw the twist coming pretty far ahead

[01:15:13] I felt like I figured out the twist really early on but what I kind of got out of it was like the movie kind of fumbles the twist yes it's not the most elegant way it could have been presented

[01:15:25] but why we'll give them is that when it kind of like yeah this is a twist we didn't do that but here it's actually more fucked up than you thought that is true at least it gave us didn't insult us in that respect

[01:15:37] it was like oh yeah no we it's way weirder and I told you this after the movie that the thing one of the things I really respected about it was it was a modern horror film that actually stuck to fucking landing for sure

[01:15:53] for the ending yeah you're committing to the bit and we're going to see this through and you certainly did the thing I will give them that that is absolutely true because once the twist hits and once you're like okay we're turning into the skid

[01:16:05] we're committing to the bit it hits no question the more I thought about it the more it's just kind of this unsettling this vibes based movie and we haven't even talked about Nicholas Cage yet but Nicholas Cage fuck me I thought Mandy was going to be his best

[01:16:21] in the recent years but I think this to me hits in a way that Mandy didn't what did you think of Nicholas Cage in my life so I'm going to be really honest I would rather have had he had a kid with

[01:16:37] with Thurman. Ethan Hawke? Well you saw the black phone then. Yeah I think Ethan Hawke would kill that role I think it's a little bit of stunt casting I think Ethan Hawke would have been a little bit of stunt casting because he just came off

[01:16:53] of the black phone. Sure but I think the black phone show that Ethan Hawke still has some shit to prove yeah for sure. He still got a little bit of gas in the tank this is the first time I've been excited about seeing Ethan Hawke at the 90s

[01:17:09] Yeah I can safely say that myself Nicholas Cage does a fine job they don't build up the serial killer enough I feel yeah because a lot of the movie really does focus on Lee Harkins the main character of the film and he's not enough of a presence

[01:17:29] as far as like a force because so much of what the plot is dealing with is things that happened in the past and so it's all past tense. Yeah the only times you really see him in the present are interacting with like store clerks

[01:17:45] yeah and something that's good Cage has given some time to chew the scenery and really just be a fucking weirdo I mean it's great to see more of the chew on with that character

[01:18:01] more screen time maybe another scene or two where you get more of that back story that was kind of rushed a little bit maybe but as I told you as the Cres rolling is like this is an accurate

[01:18:13] representation of every adult I ever met that likes this really in the T-Rex Well and I think the gag really is supposed to be that the Nicholas Cage character looks like Mark Bowlin I think that's what he's got a fucking flying V Oh yeah, yeah big fan

[01:18:33] there's so many little details to get lost in I think it's a definitely see it it's not one of those things where I'd say oh don't bother No I would definitely say it's definitely worth watching

[01:18:45] See it just temper your expectations you're not gonna shit your pants because it's so scary But you will get creeped. Do you enjoy the same way you enjoy a movie like Seven or

[01:18:53] One of the Lambs? You get creeped out at certain points it will be a little bit of the skin crawling which is really for a thriller like this what you really want Absolutely. The other movie that we both saw

[01:19:05] separately Furiosa a Mad Max story Brian what did you think of Furiosa a Mad Max story? A movie that is both a master piece and has no reason to exist. Thank you Yes I think it was too long by an hour

[01:19:21] 2 hour and 20 minute movie. It's 2 and a half and then some and it just it's too long on the tooth I really liked whichever Hemsworth brother that was Chris Hemsworth as Dementus Doing like a fucking the butler his best impression of the butler from

[01:19:41] Clue. The Tim Curry but yeah If I told you I was really crazy obviously the obvious fake nose like what the fuck was that about But you had a recurring cast some of the great villains from Fury Road making their comeback a Morton Joe get the

[01:20:01] Rick Dyson Scrotus. Here's the thing they didn't get the actor back for Morton Joe and they didn't get the original actor back for the gun guy bullet farmer which I think the bullet farmer is less of a loss because I think the guy that they got

[01:20:21] did pretty good characterizing follow the characterization from the original movie but the individual they got to play Morton Joe in this movie just does not have the presence. But I didn't notice Oh I noticed immediately I'm like is this guy got like is he like sick

[01:20:37] I actually stopped and looked it up on Wikipedia and I'm like oh no they got a different guy because the guy in Fury Road was the same guy I played toke color in the original. I remember and he just does not have the screen presence

[01:20:53] or the vibe and I was like because I felt like Morton Joe should be like imposing and terrifying and he kind of was just acting like a guy that's waiting for the pizza guy to leave so he can close the door Yeah unfortunately that is

[01:21:09] kind of like he's just like okay you're done like he's just waiting for other people to be done with their bullshit so he can go back to his stories I think that is one of the biggest

[01:21:21] losses of the film. I think all of the action scenes are pretty fucking top notch Yeah you'll find no complaints amongst them maybe a few little titchy little CGI hitches here and there where it's kind of like this maybe needs another pass

[01:21:37] maybe we need another shot of this to maybe help the VFX guys out. Was this your best take? Yeah do wonder sometimes in some of these shots like could we maybe do another one of these can we get another pass at this but overall

[01:21:53] the effect is it's a very long movie it's a very long movie it's subdivided into five chapters and I really feel like the first two could have been flashbacks interspersed through this story at certain moments that's again that's just me

[01:22:09] I feel like as a whole is a pointless prequel to a movie that was damn near perfect like story wise you know the like you said it didn't need to exist. I did not need to know

[01:22:25] where Furiosa came from how she lost her arm what the green place was none of that was important to me when watching Fury Road but apparently to someone they wanted to know all these details it's largely unimportant. Yeah and even though

[01:22:41] it is largely there's still like cool shit that happens. Yeah it's cool cool ideas and there's cool sequences and just some of the stuff like the plotting like the how you actually like execute like to do the storyboarding yeah to be intense

[01:22:57] like and how how you do this correctly and there's a really great rhythm and like nonverbal language to this film that when it's hitting hard it's enthralling it's hard to look away from the screen to have your attention be divided elsewhere but there's also a lot of moments

[01:23:21] where I'm like I think this is supposed to be poignant but I don't give a shit yeah I'm not getting it you know could have cut this. There's a death scene of a particular character that doesn't get like a good in cap I'm like oh wow like

[01:23:37] well then they also don't really do a good job building a relationship between Jack and Furiosa. No because it's like oh yeah I'm going to train you and then it cuts to okay now you're trained like no come on give me something

[01:23:49] here yeah you can yeah that's pretty much working it down nose hahahaha I'm the Furiosa of this pizza oven yeah it is weird that it doesn't build that up but also feels like it has to spend 45 minutes getting to the part like how does Dementis get Furiosa. Yeah

[01:24:13] I feel like there's so much stuff that doesn't need to be in there. I hate to be that guy but you're really you could use an editor that's well I think the other was his wife. Sometimes that works George Lucas

[01:24:29] is the editor was his wife that worked out this not so much. Will he use his wife on Fury Road and I don't know it's a very different movie I guess. It's such a baffling film like there was so many times watching it where

[01:24:41] I'm like is this it? This is cool and there's so many moments or there's so many stuff with Dementis that's really fun and how he changes as a character. I would say Furiosa is like the only character

[01:24:53] that actually has an arc. Yeah the two of them are really the center piece of the movie because everyone else is expendable all the war boys. Right and there's also like fun stuff like how did Immortan Joe get the organic mechanic and there's

[01:25:09] fun things like that and just the way they express everything's evolved around this weird apocalyptic car culture that I always find interesting and how these are the chariots of the gods and yeah going into the worshiping of the cars and I think they

[01:25:29] actually included some stuff from the game that I was interesting. Yeah because Scrotus is in it. Scrotus is in the game and they refer to people as black thumbs and they have the car from the game. They have Chum Bucket. Chum Bucket

[01:25:41] that's right and even some of the weapons of the firing the harpoons and like there's some stuff from the game. It's a very fun movie and I appreciate the craft. It's a very intricately crafted movie. The only moment of pathos of like anything really emotional that hits

[01:26:01] is and this is a spoiler so skip ahead a minute or two if you don't want to hear it which is when Dementis has been thwarted. Yeah. And he's basically

[01:26:13] telling her like he is being a very honest character in this. Yeah you're going to have to kill me because there's no other. But you have to like if you kill me this isn't going to bring

[01:26:21] back what you want this is not going to solve anything. And no matter what you do to me nothing is going to be better if you're really talking about writing for a villain that's devastating.

[01:26:33] Yeah and like that that is probably one of the best scenes of the whole movie and pretty much everything with Dementis is fun. Yeah I enjoyed Hemsworth in this much more than I've in a while really and also because he goes from being you know

[01:26:49] to then the red Dementis. And then the dark Dementis yeah he changes titles. He's punished bitum snake. But I love the bit about the teddy bear that's a fun little detail because the teddy bear loses its arm right when Furiosa loses hers. Yeah. There's some interesting

[01:27:09] little visual motifs that keep coming up that they repeated from Fury Road there's a lot of nice little bits of foreshadowing Fury Road which is nice they even have an unused scene from Fury Road at the very end with Charlize Theron

[01:27:25] and she turns away from the camera. So it's got a very direct line and I wonder if I watched Furiosa again and then watched Fury Road would I appreciate the former more? Maybe maybe they're intended to be of a

[01:27:41] piece but I don't know. It's really hard because there's that bit at the end where you're seeing scenes from Fury Road. In the credits. Yeah in this new context and it's like okay this is very clearly one came first and I don't know. It's very

[01:28:01] confusing. I hate to say it I see why it's a bomb. Yeah I certainly understand that too. It's really ambitious for sure. You love to see it again. And I think Dementis as a villain is really interesting because it's you see

[01:28:17] in between a lot of things he says and does that it's like he comes off like he's a crazy character. Right. But this is all really just about survival. Like it doesn't really go any further in that and I think the statement in there is that an unreasonable

[01:28:33] world, reasonable men become unreasonable which is some chive on bro. Yeah but it's been a through line from the Mad Max films from the beginning. Sure. So it's kind of a wrapping up. It's like yeah this is the central thesis of all these movies that you've

[01:28:49] already seen or at least hopefully you've already seen. Is it survival makes us all can definitely rob us of our humanity and our reason and Morton Joe it's all about like power. Yes. But with Dementis it's all just living like the be alive

[01:29:05] is the joy. Right. Is for Morton Joe it's all about having domination over other people having the control of the flow of resources. Yeah the place of abundance. I felt like we spent too much time in Furiosa's past and not enough

[01:29:25] time with Furiosa as the character we know. I know that's weird to say about a prequel but I feel like the reason we like Furiosa as a character is because despite all this she's still decent right and is still trying to

[01:29:41] do something good in this awful world. Which is kind of like what Mad Max was supposed to be like in the first couple movies was like someone trying to not be shitty. And I don't think we needed to see her suffer for an hour and a half before

[01:29:57] we got to that but maybe I mean again I'm not George Miller I don't know you know his whole deal but I feel like it's no big pig in the city. Oh granted I mean come on other than that Brian. Other than that

[01:30:13] what you would have to do this week. I'd be Elden ring. The shadows there tree or just. No I don't know it's gonna be like two years before I hit that boss.

[01:30:21] You beat the main game. I finally beat the Elden beast which is probably one of my least favorite final bosses in any video game I've ever played. Not great however because of this new update you can use Torrent during that fight

[01:30:33] for two years you could not. I did it in the most noble way which was I just did fucking Bloodhound Fang skill spam. Mimic tier Bloodhound Fang GGEZ but you know what at that point you beat Radigon. I beat Melina. Oh nice

[01:30:53] Well that's how I remember when we were first talking about this like how I said I had beat the game was I had beat her. Yes. I was like you know what I beat the technically the hardest good boss

[01:31:05] in the game instead of like the one that feels like people could play about the bosses in Shows the Ertree being like overtuned and all that. The Elden beast is undertuned. It feels clunky there's no good rhythm to it. You gotta run all over the place

[01:31:25] it's the same thing with a lot of the dragon bosses. You're running the boss is going to be fun at least. Yeah but this is just get you like fucking your blood pump fuck fuck fuck

[01:31:37] After a while you get so good at beating Radigon and they're like oh shit yeah okay gotta switch modes and go over to the it's frustrating I don't like the one two boss combos I never did

[01:31:49] I didn't like it in Bloodborne I sure as shit didn't like it in Elden Ring but you get through it because the rest of the game is so goddamn good the bosses in the base game are fun True. Even if they're kind of a little bullshitty

[01:32:05] like with Godfrey I'm trying to think who else but Godfrey is just Godfrey and then wrestler Godfrey right isn't that the Yeah brother Golden Order is going to come down on you Golden Order's got to come down on you Nooooooo tears the lion off him Tarnished without grace

[01:32:37] But you're right yeah it's that it's definitely you're changing gears between Godfrey and WrestleMania Godfrey I enjoyed the base game and also going back to Shadows of Erdtree a little bit like still think it does a very bad job

[01:32:53] of pointing you where the go that isn't the main story I got through the main story stuff rather quick I got to the final boss rather fast I had to sit down with a guide to find all the other biomes to go to

[01:33:09] and I've had quite a bit of fun the first two places I went to I was at that point rather over leveled even though still had some bosses giving me a hard time there are some design issues with Erdtree as far as like

[01:33:25] exploration it doesn't feel as generous as the base game but that being said it's still a lot of fun it's finding cool weird items interesting pieces of armor like exploration is good to get little bits of lore there sometimes really fun

[01:33:45] I think I'm going to try and max out some stuff before I do new game plus and we'll probably do new game plus DLC when I get there I've really been good at having a cheese bleed build wondering if for new game plus I should try just

[01:34:05] I heard when I remember the game came out people were always like oh actually like bleeds like the noble cheese his magic was so overpowered but I've heard that's gotten balanced over time I've noticed that what common as your used to be

[01:34:21] lay that down yeah any gravity magic really was always OP but boy there was a time where you could hit the one where it increases your magic you hit the wondrous physical one that gives you infinite

[01:34:33] FP and then you hit common as your it's like okay that was like three buttons and I've won every boss battle so yeah magic was for a long time OP and sorceries even going back to like Dark Souls 2 are still OP because there's ways to

[01:34:53] exploit that to make the game a lot easier yeah so yeah enjoy have fun cause boy yeah we'll see how that goes yeah it's a fun game money and time well spent I don't know I don't have anything else

[01:35:05] Jason yeah I don't really either I mean like a dragon infinite money again continuing on from that infinite wealth I keep saying infinite money I don't know why I keep saying it agree yeah but I've been

[01:35:17] playing like a dragon infinite wealth and it's I mean I'm it's slow going because I keep getting stuck on the whole fake Pokemon game that they built in this and I'm like I've got two of the gym bosses down now and I'm at the bronze level of the

[01:35:33] Sujiman battles it's that and going back through Dong and Rambo which I talked about last week so yeah not really much else going on that and justified but again and that's a solid show so I think that means it's time to tell people where to find

[01:35:49] us online if you want to find me online I am I shock edy board on ishotgudbord that's over on twitter mostly if you want to find me on other social media platforms I'm at a music photographer you wanna check out my photography portfolio it's at www.photographer.com

[01:36:13] that's over on a musicphotographer.com we want to check out the last only good media website left in the same list go over to the artsestiel.com I last week I mentioned that Laura Jurell got some really great photos of X on their farewell tour over at

[01:36:29] Delmore hall that stuff's up she has a nice little write up as well she also did got some really great photos of ok go at the pageant this past weekend making me a little jealous I wanted to

[01:36:41] they're real fun I've photographed ok go a few times they are both a really great band live and they're also a lot nicer to photographers and press than some other bands yeah I wish they were just a little less cringy about their commercials yeah commercials their music

[01:36:57] videos it's the same thing brother come on let's be honest with ourselves they're a good live band considering like not to get off on too much of a tangent I just remember when they were a band that had that music video that was the song

[01:37:09] like what get over it or whatever and people thought they were like a one hit wonder like the secret machines or something yeah and then it's like oh no they're kind of still

[01:37:17] one of the biggest indie rock bands in the world which is kind of wild but anyways she's got some great photos over there my GZ photos should be up by the time this comes out kind of just had a lot of stuff coming up so

[01:37:29] getting my little write up done and my edits done took a minute we're recording this on a different night than we normally do because tomorrow night I am I believe helping out the band commito with some social media and video photo stuff hey so

[01:37:49] hey who doesn't love paperwork mm-hmm when you're as fucking broke as I am I shouldn't laugh but yeah well what you got for us J-Dog so you can find me on the internet anytime there's a guy named video crime will just like Tom Jode I'll be there

[01:38:09] that's twitter blue sky various other places with the notable exceptions of Instagram and tiktok there I am laser goose CEO that's laser with an s because I am not a Philistine you can contact the show in a myriad of ways but my personal favorite is the telephone 314246

[01:38:29] 9766 that's 314 Ahoy Poo if you like to spell with your telephone you can shoot us an email Jason at 4-8minutesofdogsbarking.com or Brian with a Y at 4-8minutesofdogsbarking.com send us whatever you got requests comments complaints recipes for cake whatever it is you can send it

[01:38:49] to us there support the show patreon.com slash 4-8 minutes of dogs there we have our weekly show hangout slash cut content show boy episode 14 was a bit long episode 14 ran a little long when that's okay you can hear it

[01:39:09] there if you're any one of the paid tier subscribers over there on the patreon and of course if we get the 10 members at the $10 level by the end of the year we will release the 90 minute commentary track for the Japanese puke fetish video Garo

[01:39:25] and we will be releasing it on the next episode of the western home delivery come on folks yeah I'm that unlikable between the two of us yeah there's gotta be enough individuals you know maybe I need to be posting that a little bit more actively on my social

[01:39:41] in the meantime you can also find me on a podcast called submitted for the approval of the midnight pals where I play a fictionalized version of Stephen King as well we say at this time namaste good luck eat the knife give mommy a good fucking 25th amendment now

[01:40:01] and watch out for snakes look out for snakes watch out for snakes