The Fat Dog Denier (feat. Matt F Basler)

[00:00:00] The CIA is trying to steal my penis. I need to find a place to hide it. Oh no, I have a special hole you can hide it in. You know what I'm seeing? This sucks.

[00:01:16] Here we go. By the way, before we really get started with the show tonight, we got a response. We had a previous text on our text lines 314-246-9766, that's 314-ahoy-poo. Someone had complained about the new theme song written and performed by producer Steve, aka Kill Hamster, and we said, uh, no, we're gonna keep the theme song, we like it. We got another response via text that goes like this.

[00:01:38] The guy who insulted the theme song has made an enemy for life. If I ever see him, it's on like Demonious X and a bunch of female NPCs in Grand Theft Auto. Normally I would complain about him using the R slur, but if even my autistic ass could tell this was in poor taste, he might actually be qualified to use it? They're just lucky he's Kill Hamster and not Kill Hater, or your days would be numbered. Love the show. Keep the song. Jackin' off. Thank you, Anonymous Lister, for giving us that text. We really appreciate it.

[00:02:08] That does read like someone that has spent too much time listening to the show. Very, very much so. I appreciate that you've dedicated a small square of your finite time on this rotating rock to basically re-hit Cumetown bits and self-loathing. And remembering Brian's Jackin' Off bit. We love it. Jackin' Off.

[00:02:26] Now, in studio tonight with us, a very special guest. Tonight's guest is an incredibly funny man. You may have seen him in his gold lame pants doing covers of Read Me My Rights and Bang Bang and also performing original songs as part of the Matt F. Bosler Band. He's the co-host of the Matt F. Bosler Podcast, head guy at Bosler Screen Printing, former member of the beloved rock band Taku introduced many of us to Tanetta via their Tak Does Tanetta album.

[00:02:50] He has exactly seven nipples, hands for feet, and he's going for a new world record during the Big Big Show. Matt F. Bosler Eats a Long Hot Dog with Large Spoon and Space Quakers September 19th at the Golden Record. Please welcome, live in studio, your friend and mine, Matt Bosler. Matt, how are you, sir? Good. Probably the best response to all of that talking, yeah. Acceptable. I'm fine. Everything's all right.

[00:03:20] I could do something longer. So welcome to the show. Thanks for coming in to last minute, kind of just join us and do the show. We're really happy to have you. Boy, what a week. We usually start on the show, as you probably already know, with our... Because Matt here is a fan of the show. He's listening to the show. Not as much as that guy. Yeah, I know. I feel like a casual. He's dropped in once or twice. Maybe he knows Incredible Shrinking Jay Leno. Maybe he knows Time Traveling Riley Reid. But this is my two favorite bits. I'm sorry.

[00:03:50] What? Pussy 3 is not up there? Pussy 3 is fantastic. You're right. Oh, man. How did I forget Pussy 3? We've been doing this, what? Too many years now? Four years. Four years. Four years. Jesus. But as you probably already know, we start the show off with a selection of internet-based news called the What's Hot Classic. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. First up in the What's Hot Classic, Matt. This one I thought you'd get a kick out of. This is The Guardian, the UK magazine, of course. But they're talking about something happening in the US.

[00:04:17] The headline, scientists who turn to OnlyFans to fund marmot research receive crypto boost. Okay? Okay. Bear with me here. So... That's a headline on The Guardian. Yeah. That's not a joke. No. That's not a funny, like, look at all the words. Look at all the... Right. These are words that are real. The 60-year project of continuous study of marmots, and then it describes a marmot, says stout ground-dwelling residents that are the largest members of the squirrel family. Folks, if you don't know what a marmot is, I don't know what to tell you.

[00:04:47] It's like a stout ground-dwelling rodent. Yeah. Largest member of the squirrel family, actually. Oh, okay. It does say that the project was facing termination following science funding cuts by, of course, our good friend Donald Trump. In desperation, the article continues, researchers in June decided to put the marmots on OnlyFans. Okay? They don't post anything sexual about the marmots. It's just marmots doing stuff. The marmots aren't doing dick ratings? No, they're not doing...

[00:05:16] They're not doing JOI. They're not doing dick ratings. They're not doing... What's their menu? Oh, Jesus. Is it like a live stream? No, I think they just post... Because then, who knows? Well, that's fair. What's the shame is you can obviously tell that whoever's running... They're farming out their messaging. Oh, yeah. It's very clearly not the marmots answering your messages. Yeah, some guy in Uzbekistan. Right. This could end up being, like, revenge porn. These marmots could have a real case on their hands. Who's a marmon?

[00:05:46] The marmots don't... They can't consent to this. You're right. That's a fair point. And they're nude, as far as I can tell. Okay. Maybe we're... Oh, geez. But yeah, the effort here says it raised a modest $6,000. Okay. That's $6,000 on OnlyFans for just showing videos of marmots. I'm good with that. But this inspired someone to make the meme coin, dollar sign only marms. So a cryptocurrency called Only Marms. But this is the rare instance it seems like a cryptocurrency was made for good.

[00:06:16] It feels like it, doesn't it? Or at least on some... There was a positive outcome to this existence of this meme coin. So yeah, it does say they raised more than $88,000 in two weeks, along with outside donations from Marmot allies who are uncomfortable donating through the OnlyFans platform. That would be me. I'm going to see that show up on my credit card statement. But it does say the research program gained more than $100,000 in funding. The OnlyFans thing then made a meme coin which then gave them a lot of money. You know what?

[00:06:46] I'm not going to ask you to explain how that would generate money for something else. So somebody... He wants to. He wants to explain it. I really do. I really do. So somebody sees the potential in this meme coin making money. And so they put it out there and then people invest in it. And then they turn around and they sell the coin and they give the money to the researchers. Well, there's a tax. Well, of course. So it was like maybe there's a 2% tax on everybody. So they keep a little bit. They get a little taste. Okay.

[00:07:16] And that's just some guy, right? Yeah. They're not affiliated with the... No, no. This was an unknown online community on the Solana blockchain. And one of the researchers did say he thought it was a scam. But they did give the 88 whatever... Mm-hmm. $200,000 total. Yeah. Directly to the Marmot. Well, to the people doing the research. But yeah. It's pretty wild. Actual heartwarming story. Well, that's... OnlyFans is not a porn site, right? Not exclusively. No. A lot of people use it that way. Sure.

[00:07:46] But I mean, you can do anything on there. People do cooking shows on there. I've seen that. If you went to talk to like OnlyFans, not the CEO, but... Well, he died. Somewhere high up. Oh, that's right. Damn. Sorry. You're Steve Jobs. Thank you. Lick my balls. All right. So... Like, yeah. I go to like someone who works there. Would they sell me the site as like, well, it's a lot of porn?

[00:08:16] Or would they be... No. Would they say, no, so you can direct to your fans. They would say it's like, this is a place where creators can connect with their fan bases. Yeah. And offer exclusive content and interactions. And honestly, I think the Matt F. Bosler experience. Yeah. Needs to be on OnlyFans, frankly. But like if... What's like a kid's... Like if... What was that? Miss Rachel? Miss Rachel, yeah. Like if she had an OnlyFans, that would be like a big scandal, regardless of what... Because there's an assumption. Okay. All right.

[00:08:45] It's just because people assume when they hear the name... And then she would be getting in trouble for not showing enough Bush. Sure. Her JOI videos are too short. There's not enough, you know, not enough come tributes on the website. Yeah. Again, I've got my problems, okay? By the way, hey, I'm not sitting here trying to act like, I'm sorry, what's OnlyFans? What's pornography? I've never heard of this.

[00:09:08] My curiosity is out of this Marmot thing is really not that crazy by what OnlyFans would say they themselves are. It's only public perception. Yeah, exactly right. Yes. You are correct. Yes. And it is funny. You know what? It is funny. Good job. Yeah. I like that. That's a heartwarming one. I guess I should have saved that one to the end because the other ones are just depressing. Yeah. You know, I would say, though, they could have gone on Fansly, though, and they could have done some pee content. They can do water sports on Fansly, which you can't do on OnlyFans.

[00:09:39] That I did not know. Okay. So no marmots peeing on the OnlyFans account. I've been throwing money away. Oh, geez. Yeah. See, you don't. This is why you got to do your research. I know. Gosh. You know, I feel like when you guys step on a car lot, the salesman sees you coming. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm a sucker. I'm an all-day sucker. Jesus. I drive off of that lot. I go, where's the piss? Right. Well, I was. That's it. They said this car smelled like piss. Hang on. He's counting his money.

[00:10:10] No piss in here, buddy. You said this Chevette smelled like piss. Yeah. He took the little trees air freshener that smells like piss out of it before you left the lot. It's not even the air freshener. It's just a pregnancy test. Well, speaking of pregnancy. Sure. Yahoo News gives us this via the telegraph. Boy, sometimes God gives his greatest battles to his toughest warriors. All right. Just reading this headline is going to break me. The headline horse. I almost jumped right into it.

[00:10:39] One of the shortest headlines that is really baffling me. Yeah. Now, home disguised as horse semen laboratory is demolished. This came out Thursday of this past week. A week ago today. It's a real I am the first in my bloodline to read this sentence type thing. Absolutely. So this happened in Great Agbington, Cambridgeshire. Not a real place. Some fucked up place in Hobbit land. Jolly old Hobbit land. Yeah.

[00:11:06] Jeremy Zielinski and his wife Elaine were forced to raise the two story house at Valentine's Stables in Great Agbington, Cambridgeshire after the council discovered they had not followed approved plans. So the district council did grant planning permission for a replacement stable block and a specialist, quote, stallion semen laboratory with a small upstairs flat linked to the lab use way back in 2014.

[00:11:32] The plans were approved on the basis that the property would be used for a countryside business use. So this is this is that they're stables and they wanted to have a horse semen lab on site, you know, for horse semen reasons. But yeah, with the residential flat only to be used in connection with the laboratory, the two story building was supposed to have a reception office kitchenette, quote, analysis and lecture lab. Who is holding the horse semen lecture? That's what I want to know.

[00:12:00] It's like a timeshare processing laboratory and staff changing room on the ground floor. I understand that you get the horse semen. All you got to change your clothes. Totally fine. The first floor would contain a staff living space with two bedrooms, each with an en suite bathroom and a combined living slash kitchen space. Now, the photo of Jeremy Zalinski and the wife Elaine, the most British couple I've seen in a minute. Oh, really? And it just says Facebook as though that's like somebody just went to their Facebook

[00:12:27] page and was like, yep, this is the photo we're going to use in the news story about them. It was like Jeremy took it. Yeah, he absolutely did. He absolutely did on the 20 year old iPad that he's got, you know, even though the outside looked like the approved plan, investigation show the interior looked vastly different. Instead, the planning inspector said it was built and used solely as a residential house from the start with no evidence that the laboratory use was ever implemented. They issued an enforcement announcement.

[00:12:57] The planning inspector agreed. And now the house is a flat nothing. Wow. The British people are so weird. So they're like, so you did put, so you weren't jacking off horses in here. Oh, not a lot of cum. There's no horse cum in here. Right then, we got to race it to the ground. Yep, pretty much. That's exactly how it happened. I mean, I think that could have been recorded audio from that.

[00:13:25] Give him a little taste of heavy cream. Hey. Hey. This isn't horse cum. Hey. This is too sweet. And he would know, right? It's not grassy enough. Yeah. Ray, you got to rub it on your gum. The inspector agreed that knocking the house down was a proportionate and necessary measure as the local planning policies had been clearly broken and keeping the building, but just stopping people from living there would not be enough. I'm so perplexed.

[00:13:55] I feel like, you know, living in St. Louis, like if people were doing things in houses and businesses they weren't supposed to, there'd be a lot less of those things going on. As in less places for people to live. Oh, okay. I thought you were talking about less of the horse cumming and stuff. Oh, that's this whiskey ring on Western Wear Night. Heyo! I did understand the headline, it turns out. Yeah. Yeah. Perfectly. Because you'd think, no, this has to be. This has to be a joke. There's something I'm missing. No. You didn't miss the thing?

[00:14:25] They probably just should have changed some documents. Yeah. Just gone like, you can live in here. Right. It's fine. It's a house. Instead of horse cum, it's people cum. Right. It's him cumming in his wife. Right. Bring a horse in. I mean, the horse can cum wherever. It doesn't matter. That's not the point. Yeah, just don't get in my hair. We've all been there. Imagine that. You were sitting there waiting for the horse to get you a towel. I was saying never getting you no towel. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Now, we're to assume that that couple, that was their home? That was their house. Yes.

[00:14:56] That was their only home? They live on horse ranch. And they said, you know, we're going to build us a home. Let's trick the local council by saying we're going to have a cum lab. Couldn't you? Such weird logic. Yeah. Build a house on your ranch? Apparently not. Apparently, if it's not zoned or whatever. Right. There's all these archaic housing laws and stuff. Maybe this is all very normal. It's just really hard for me to wrap my head around. Well, it's England. Go to local government and easily get a horse cum factory. Right. But to get a residential.

[00:15:26] It's harder. It would be difficult. Yeah. Huh? Seems counterintuitive. Seems weird. Seems backwards to me. Well, it's just nice. I can't live in my horse cum factory. What's up? Well, maybe you can't. Maybe you can live in a horse cum factory. You just have to make horses cum. And that's what they want. It's a living. And then the horse is going. That's the sound of a horse. Not nothing. Yeah. You got a backed up horse over there. He's just rutting around. This is against code. Mm-hmm. This horse is about to pop.

[00:15:54] Guy with an inspector walking by with a clipboard. This horse has not nutted. These balls are too heavy. He's just weighing. Just touching it like, no. Mm-mm. What was the last time you... What was the last time this took care of business here? What was the last time you... Just this morning. Yeah, right. Oh, really? Mm-mm-mm. It seems very semen-y. It blows on its penis. It explodes everywhere. Mm-hmm. Did you know that one of the things you can do to deal with a horse that has an erection when you don't want it to have an erection is just punch it in the dick?

[00:16:24] Yeah. Yeah, sure. You want to know how I know this? What do you mean? Apparently he found this out by experience. This is... He's told this story before. Yeah, I heard Bush Brewery in Southside St. Louis. There's a Christmas lights dealie it does every December. And you get your photo taken with the Clydesdales. And the last time... Is this a story of why you can't go back to the... No, no. This is just one of those things where... He actually wasn't the one punching the horse in the dick this time.

[00:16:50] But there's this thing where they have a couple of Clydesdales and, you know, someone will take your photo with the Clydesdales with your phone or whatever. And we're... I don't know. I'm kind of like a little tipsy already. And about like maybe two minutes before we get our photo taken with one of the horses, the male horse just spurts some fucking wood. And one of the handlers who's just like a nice middle-aged looking lady just like balls

[00:17:18] up her fist and hits it like she's punching a dog that's attacking her kid. Just wails on the horse's dick. And just one punch. And I barely saw the corner of my eye. I'm like, oh, what happened? My girlfriend's just like, dude, that lady just punched that horse in the dick. Like fucking Merry Christmas. Right. What's the time frame? That it goes... I mean, it just... I mean, it was... It definitely learned its lesson. They'll begin... Wow. Minute, minute and a half probably.

[00:17:48] It wasn't very long from what I understand. Yeah, it's just... Yeah, it's just like the horse was not... Yeah, okay. It's like a comic tie, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it didn't sound like an accordion or slide whistle or anything. Or the window blind that just rolls back up on itself. But the horse did like shudder. Like, ugh, in the dick. Who wouldn't? Now, is that like a horse trainer thing? Yeah, that's what they teach you. That's what they teach you when you're at the county fair when they're... Is there? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

[00:18:17] This is, to be fair also, for people, the listeners at home, this is not the time that I was at Ann Heiser Bush Brewery and I posed with a bald eagle holding a pack of zen. Very different. Very different time. Very different. The handlers are like, what is he doing? And I'm like... Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Making sure he doesn't attack me. Yeah, that works on my dick too. Yeah. Just rub a little bit. Just get wet. Get your lip pillow wet and you can go for hours.

[00:18:45] So one last story out of the UK for our What's Hot Classic. The headline out of the International Business Times UK, Marty Virgil Bayes. First of all, love the name. The headline, workers suit up in motion capture gear as researchers train AI robots to imitate intimate human movements. They really are coming for all of our jobs. That's right, folks. Workers wearing full body motion capture suits are being filmed performing intimate human

[00:19:11] movements as part of an effort to train AI powered robots, according to a video shared online by robotics company Somnia Robotics. The footage, which has drawn attention on social media, shows how human body movements can be converted into digital data and used to develop more realistic body behavior. Now, anyone who has seen behind the scenes footage of a video game or a movie in the past 20 fucking years knows about motion capture.

[00:19:40] But the video is particularly funny. It's 14 seconds. That knee action is... As a guy in a motion capture suit humping the air, but also bending over a box and... I guess I... Here he came? I know, yeah. Geez. I thought it'd be two people in motion capture suits. Apparently not. Apparently not. Huh. Is that what I look like when I'm... I hope not. Like a frog trying to get over a log?

[00:20:08] Early just lets you know that everything the human body does is clumsy. And gross and weird. Yeah. If I'm going to buy a sex robot... It better be. It better. I want it to go fucking crazy at a whiff of it. I want it to bounce on it silly style. Yes. Right. Right. And this... My favorite quote tweet of this is at the moose man with three N's. Sure. Genuinely expected we'd have a cure for cancer in my version of the future.

[00:20:35] Instead, we get the weakest back shots you've ever seen in your life. And yeah, he's not wrong. Yeah. Definitely not... Not a lot of motion in the... It's a... Yeah. Gosh, not to be gross here, but there wouldn't be a lot of in and out. He's sort of just wiggling around. Yeah. He's afraid of it slipping out, but that's the thing. The thing is... I don't want realism with that. Yeah. No. Well, the whole thing is if... You gotta let it slip out to see if she puts it back in. So... Because if she puts it back in, you know you're doing it right.

[00:21:05] Well, you also know that it's true love, but that's a whole nother... Anyways. Yeah. Anyways. We have a giant titted anime robot doing it like that. No, thank you. No, thank you. No, thank you. It's like it's trying to get a stain out of a tub. Well, you know what that means, Matt? It means it's time for Crypto Scam of the Week. You're listening to 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, the podcast.

[00:21:33] And now it's time for the Crypto Scam of the Week. Not marmots. Not marmots, thank God. The crypto scam was not the marmots. I thought for sure when I read that article for the first time, they were going to have rug pulled on the marmot coin and we were going to have a whole thing on our hands. Thank God, no. But yeah, this is courtesy of Decrypt. The headline, Jury Convicts Las Vegas Man, because of fucking course it is, of a $24 million AI crypto mining Ponzi scheme.

[00:22:01] A lot of those words also not in the Bible. A federal jury in Las Vegas convicted a business owner, a legitimate business owner, of running a $24 million cryptocurrency Ponzi scheme that took money from at least 400 investors, according to the crooked DOJ, under Sleepy Joe, no, Brent K. Kovar owned Profit Connect. The name alone should have been a warning. Profit Connect, a Las Vegas company,

[00:22:27] that from late 2017 to July 2021 claimed to run an artificial intelligence software, this is how you know it's bullshit, because it's 2017, on a supercomputer that mined cryptocurrency and verified transactions on other networks. Investors were promised a fixed return of 15 to 30% a year and a full money back guarantee and told the company was backed by hundreds of millions of dollars in crypto reserves. Guys, come on. I know, right? You should know better.

[00:22:57] At some point, things that are illegal that are so blatantly not real, you should be allowed to do them. Okay. Anyone that you trick with that, what's the thing called Profit Connect? That's like, that is my spam folder, is those things. Yeah, that's all you're getting these days. Unless you give us $50 in crypto, we're going to ban all of your photos. Oh yeah, yeah. My Instagram has been deleted and like, I'm on it right now. Fuck you talking about? Yeah. If you fall for it and you're under 70

[00:23:26] and older than 45. Yeah. Yeah. What you're saying is you deserve to get got. You shouldn't get in trouble for doing it. Ah, okay. But if it's like smart, then you should get in trouble. Yeah, because these guys, this guy's... This is dumb. Nobody should have fallen for it. Right. Prosecutors say Kovar knew it was not profitable, held no reserves, could not pay the returns it advertised, had no way of honoring the guarantee. Money from the investments went on running the company,

[00:23:54] buying gifts for employees, and buying Kovar a house, with some of it recycled to earlier investors as though it were mining proceeds. Kovar also told investors their money was insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation. A PSA for our listeners out there, if you don't know, that only covers banks. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Not crypto exchanges, DEXs, or anything like that. Not even credit unions. Credit unions are actually covered

[00:24:23] by a different governmental entity. So if anyone says to you that something's covered by the FDIC, chances are good, unless they actually work for a bank, that they are full of shit. What's a credit union covered on there? It's covered under a different company whose name I don't remember, but it's not the FDIC, but it's another similar governmental organization. It's got a different acronym and everything. But he was convicted after a nine-day trial of 11 counts of wire fraud, two of mail fraud, and two of money laundering. He's going to be sentenced November 30th and faces a statutory maximum

[00:24:53] of 280 years, although the actual term will be set by the judge. Apparently, the SEC actually shut them down five years ago, got a restraining order, froze their assets, put their losses up to $12 million from at least 277 investors, half of what prosecutors have now established. So 90% of the company's income was from investors, and none of it was used to trade crypto. My favorite detail of the story is right here near the end.

[00:25:23] Kovar ran the business with his mother, Joy, then 86 years old. $1.2 million went into her personal account in 10 equal transfers over less than two months, and a further $1.7 million was taken out through cash withdrawals, credit card payments, and the purchase of a car. She was not named in the indictment. Now, this isn't the first time he was outside of the law, by the way. A civil injunction was levied against him and his father, Glenn, in 2009

[00:25:52] over a pump-and-dump scheme run through a company called Skyway Global, which cost investors $12 million. Wow. And Dad wouldn't do it again. Dad was like, I've already wet my beak once. Yeah, I got mine. Yeah, go talk to your mom. Yeah, talk to your mother, quite literally. Talk to your mother. Mom, Dad already said yes, so. Dad said we could scam some more people. Well, okay. I fucking hate you. Why would you kill yourself? I thought he was done scamming. No, no, no. He said we should do it again. We should say,

[00:26:22] we're using geothermal heat from Iceland. From beneath Venus to beam down to We're using an AI supercomputer called Pikachu 2.0. Yeah, yeah. I've heard of this. Mom will get you that car. Yeah. Mom, I'm going to get you that $1.2 million Bugatti that you always wanted. That's right. Just drive it straight into a wall. Jesus Christ. 280 years in prison for doing

[00:26:51] the dumbest crime I've ever heard. Hey, yeah, so my computer says you're going to get money and they go, oh, okay. Yeah, this abacus over here is literally king-sized Homer. All you got to do is be a bad person. That's the thing. Yeah, that's it. The bar is that low. Very low. Well, I have always said that like, man, if I didn't have scruples or like a conscience, I could be rolling. Oh, yeah. I could be rolling in it. Maybe the children thing shouldn't be like a demovator because the best kids

[00:27:20] stories from high school are just like, yeah, my dad killed a guy and you're like, yeah, for what? Yeah, for what? Over a poker game and you're like, wow, I bet your dad has a scar. Because if they said it was over $12 million, they'd be like, well, that's a miracle. Understandable. Yeah, understandable, but you want something like trivial, like he said, this guy wouldn't believe him that he saw a dog that was this fat. You don't believe a dog can get that fat and I'm going to stab you in front of this bar. There's no way.

[00:27:50] Ain't no way. Ain't no way. Ain't no way the German Shepherd could get 130 pounds. The fat dog denier. What says, I'm referencing a real murder. I know this one. It's fucking weird. Over 130 pounds? For real? It was like two dudes at like 1 p.m. at the Hot Shots in North, in Florissant in North County. I want to say like 2016 or 2017. They were arguing over a fat dog. Yeah.

[00:28:19] Over a fat dog. One guy was mad that the other person didn't believe that he like knew a dog. That was really fat. That was like 130 pounds or something like that and he just like killed him. You don't believe a dog can get that fat? Here's the problem I have with that whole story is that no one ever followed up like so the dog feels fat. Actually fat. Yeah. Help me out here. You know what? Because I'm going into this thinking what a foolish thing to kill someone over but not believe

[00:28:49] or whatever but if I find out You're like day drinking at the Hot Shots on Lindbergh and Florissant. You've already Right. You're yeah you know I mean I've been day drinking in that part of Florissant before I imagine at least one of those guys rode a mountain bike up to the bar because of his Deweys. mountain bike a scooter a golf cart it's one of those things yeah he was at Mattingly's and decided you know what I need to go I need to go where the beers are good

[00:29:19] Six miles down Lindbergh Yeah in the golf cart it's happened I've known those dudes some of those dudes have been friends of you know dads of my friends and I said Jesus Christ what are you doing Oh we should go to Gators after this Right we're going to the Pink Galleon before it goes down Jesus I feel like Pink Galleon is left and is on Olive you can get a free nacho bar birthday party there God remember Hungry Hungry Hippies and Women I kind of want the nacho bar birthday party now that I'm thinking about it

[00:29:47] Yeah they set it up like a contest No Really You can like enter every month but it's not Does it have to be your birthday to be the nacho bar birthday party or was I mean I think it is a ploy to get you to bring a big party into Pink Galleon which I always thought was like this is a gay bar name but not a gay bar that you're going to This is Vince Pink No I understand I'm just saying that's gay but I think if you

[00:30:17] ask someone hey is this like a gay thing the people in there would be mad at you Yes they would absolutely they would All of the single dads and confused looking dudes in shirts where Bob Marley is also a lion The guys who are very clearly coming from a Little League game and they've got the sunglasses tan line but they've got the backwards cap on too and they're like listen listen listen and they're not saying anything they're just saying listen over and over again that's that guy They would have won if it wasn't for some bullshit

[00:30:46] Some bullshit guy he puts on Stairway to Heaven and he starts fucking crying He's like self-soothing massaging his arms I learned this when I did EMDR I was supposed to like the wokeest the wokeest problematic white dudes in North Carolina I did bilateral simulation therapy and I still fucking hate my wife and he's crying about his dad who was in Vietnam so it's like it was a war they couldn't win you know just I don't know All he brought me back

[00:31:16] from Saigon was some bullshit whiskey the worm in it Terrible Terrible No burn Speaking of worms tonight's main topic is a gentleman who goes by the name of Lewis Cole Another Brit by the way This is three things minus the guy in Vegas who did the crypto scam Three things from Britain this week that have brought me pain in a way that I never understood was possible but here we are Lewis John Cole better known as Food for Lewis

[00:31:45] or Food for Louie I guess YouTuber Weirdo currently 43 years old he is two years younger than me He's uh three years younger or three years older than me His first brush with fame according to his official YouTube page this was fun for Louie he says when I was 14 I decorated my bedroom as a jungle and entered it in the Junior Decorator of the Year competition on the BBC Interior Design Show

[00:32:15] Homefront I then went through to the finals and decorated a bedroom as a tropical island in three days I'm sorry just a real sidebar here Jason I'm really confused by your search history because two of these sidebars suggest recommendations on switching to Linux Don't ask I'm on a journey okay You're on a journey find the perfect hip hop operating system I'm Hannah Montana Linux is where I'm leaning right now okay but

[00:32:43] this is my jungle bedroom from it's just a little taste of what he was up to at the age this is great this is delightful so far I love this guy I'm gonna go on record and say oh no it's a white guy with dreads yep uh oh strike one was that a Bane poster yes oh okay strike two there you go yeah home front so I'm already seeing a real defect in this whole jungle bedroom is that for a young man like this there's no way

[00:33:13] to hide your cum socks Jesus Christ what do you think the water feature is for you know wash it away wash your hands just blast into the water goes away yeah down the drain all right these weird white streaks in your waterfall don't worry about it don't worry don't worry about it it's sea foam or whatever you know yeah sea foam it's lichen yeah he did go through the whole process and he did win he won on home front at the age of 14 he in 2013 he was a gentleman

[00:33:42] at the age of 24 at this point he lived in the village of Cobham all his life and he's gonna do something about youngsters and what they want and all that at the age of 24 he bought a bus bright red double-decker this says courting to Surrey Live with the message let the music speak plastered across its sign providing a home from home for the village's youngsters he's quoted as saying I've been wanting to get my own bus for a while sure and about a month ago I finally got a hold of one I've been modifying

[00:34:12] it ever since I've got a lounge area and a playpen for the kids and the downstairs can be used for all sorts of different things now this is already feeling not great right there Dan Deacon I DJ myself speaking of Dan Deacon yeah there it is and I want to run workshops I want to set up a music recording studio because I know a few kids who want to record their own tracks I thought it would be fantastic to get a large vehicle to use as a hangout base as well because there's not a great number of places to hang out how big is this bus

[00:34:42] it's a double decker British bus so it's one of those big it's pretty big that's not too bad yeah I heard over there they don't have Bing buses but they have Rogering the Rogering bus the Rogering bus yeah I'm kind of curious the shagging wagon there you go now a freelance designer it says Mr. Cole gave up a career with Sky TV where he worked as an animator to help youngsters again the fucking life this we were only a couple minutes into this and what the fuck yeah it says

[00:35:11] I left my job with an aim of giving a lot more of my time to help youths because that's my passion again phrasing you sound a little bit like that one guy that was molesting all the children in the UK you're gonna have to really narrow that down the BBC guy that he died and everyone was like oh he was a big molester Jimmy Saville Jimmy Saville yeah yeah yeah well I mean maybe he you know he worked at Sky TV maybe he met Jimmy and was like you know what I'm gonna turn my life around well I think the sentence up there you know when I want to help out the youth that's great on its own

[00:35:41] but then when the answer is so I bought a bus I'm gonna drive him around in this bus yeah I don't like it I don't I'm gonna take him to see Spice World Spice Up Your Life but this was 13 years ago yeah so okay okay maybe we didn't know I don't know it was a different time yeah well oh dear oh boy yeah then he started doing a YouTube channel it was a YouTube channel

[00:36:11] it was called Fun for Louie December 31st 2012 he started doing daily vlogs some of which became him eating animals well now I do that I yeah but these ones are live animals I don't do that so this again the Guardian we're really sourcing the Guardian today we ought to just pony up the damn money and just give him some money but anyway a YouTube channel called Food for Louie has reached 1 million hits on one of its videos

[00:36:41] last week Louie Cole is a shaggy haired 28 year old living in shaggy hair yeah I know right call it what it is thank you exactly this YouTube channel is not irie no he had Grinch fingers perfect since he started posting videos last May he has filmed himself eating among other things 21 live locusts a raw bull's heart a turkey leg crawling with maggots and then in parentheses the Christmas special that one a rotting dead frog

[00:37:10] I know this sounds like this sounds like something from like a vor fetish website kinda a mouse shake 10 dead mice blitzed in a blender a large live lizard from the Brazilian jungle a live tarantula a live crayfish a live scorpion and most controversially to judge by dislikes and comments my pet goldfish huh yep maybe you gotta see it maybe it's really cool when you see it I don't wanna see it

[00:37:40] this is a re-upload by the way all the videos of him eating animals have been taken down so a lot of people have taken to re-upload them because they're like no no no no no this has to be online so April 1st I really wish it was an April Fool's joke April 1st 2012 Food for Louie posted eating my pet goldfish the jackass style opening by the way is warning some people may find the following content disturbing the following show features activity performed under the supervision of a professional dog tour ball

[00:38:10] MD pretty sure that's not an actual doctor Food for Louie and the producers must insist know and attempt to recreate any activity Dr. Dog Balls performed on this show any emotional reaction to this video is merely coincidental you know you've seen this that's jackass would you would you say there are producers for this show no okay alright it's him it's the one guy oh nice it has a theme song motion graphic intro food for Louie it's a dog

[00:38:39] no no no yeah the dog even barks at him and puts his paw on him like please stop like bro the frog was cool but like that's right dog tour balls is the dog someone's holding the camera I guess there's a multicam going on here you guys your simple two cam setup for eating an animal I mean that looks real to me that's right you got crunched the head it's like a crawdad his face

[00:39:09] looks like he's not enjoying this at all by the way his face looks a little bit like my face looks right now yeah he's about to retch this thing just act like you're at the sushi that's how most British people react when they eat any food with seasoning crunchy oh Jesus this is the kind of stuff where I'm like I can understand one freak but to find three other freaks that'll hang out right more than more than one yeah oh this is I mean it's the

[00:39:39] whole um you gotta reassure each other that your fucked up thing is normal it's like why there's pedophile discord channels it's not just for it's not just for for circulating child pornography it's other people being like yeah it's normal right you're normal you're normal yeah you're fine I guess right my closest thing to this would be the like yeah no actually anime's kind of getting popular huh have you heard you've heard you've heard of anime anime's good yeah I love anime I love I love watching cartoons for children yeah actually I know she looks like she's 12

[00:40:08] but she's actually a 500 year old witch yeah yeah start with like a like a full metal alchemist sure sure test the waters perfect blue hey if they go oh Kira I don't know man then you go yeah no I hey yeah no I those weird Japanese guys I don't know they're strange fellas they wouldn't eat my pet goldfish you're right yeah yeah he ends it with a promo for a meetup with other youtubers yeah you guys just want then you can see me shit out the goldfish

[00:40:38] yeah and now that's a while ago right yeah he did that he's been yeah that was 2012 so that was 14 years ago huh and the kid bus was a couple maybe a year or two before that it wasn't yeah he was 24 when he did the kid bus and he was 28 when he ate the goldfish dang okay I would have thought that the eating the stuff was like remember the guy that did the kid bus he's making good he's changing his world no no it's the other way no he he's like you know what

[00:41:08] fuck them kids right well or that there would have been so much time between it that you would have lost track of him and he would have gone he's desperate enough he's so crazy he's like okay I'm not famous for the kid bus thing anymore I gotta start eating four years that's not enough time to start eating your pet goldfish no today.com even got in on this it says don't let Louis Cole around your pet goldfish he might eat it the Londoner started a YouTube channel last May called Food for Louis where he films himself eating

[00:41:38] the kind of thing not normally found on most dinner tables one of his videos the ones he calls the biggest challenge yet depicts him eating a live scorpion which got a million views last week he also filmed himself eating live locusts and pig eyeballs which he popped in his mouth like grapes his specialty though seemed to be meals that are still alive as he begins to chew them like the live giant tarantula he ate for his Halloween special last year his most controversial one was the pet

[00:42:08] goldfish he received comments such as ew they have diseases and I'd be scared to live with Louis in case he decided one day to eat me too yeah what happened to the dog exactly it's a good question what was for Chinese New Year oh Jesus Christ can you imagine your problem with the fish thing is that they might have diseases right not that like it was a living thing and he just crunched it in his jaw hey man I got it tested before I ate oh well that's that comments I took it to

[00:42:37] Planned Parenthood yeah so we ran the whole gamut of tests and it's fine so it says Cole contends that his videos are an examination of the cultural constructs around food bullshit and that his channel isn't a quick way to get video views quote I guess I enjoy riling people up a bit and challenging them to the reality that to eat meat you have to kill an animal he said to Oliver Thring of the UK paper The Guardian once again with the fucking Guardian and what you think is gross might just depend on where you're from quote I've been

[00:43:07] to lots of developing countries in South Africa we were in a food market in one of the townships and they were selling cooked sheep's heads Cole said okay that was cooked that's quite a bit different yeah people were cracking them opening them eating the brains yada yada yada he first ate bugs that's where he meant die antwoord oh man him and ninja would be best friends you know this he first ate bugs oh ninja he are you going to eat the lamb's skull yeah yeah I feel like

[00:43:37] that's chappy yeah it's chappy this guy's logic is not sound no not at all oh you think it's weird that I ate a human leg well guess what I went to a pizza they were putting pineapple on that thing right yeah it was fucking crazy yeah they cooked the sausage before they put it on that pizza there's things too I was in the east village and these guys were telling me about this thing called limp biscuit what oh wow

[00:44:08] he's doing the steve-o dry heap this kind of thing people would do where they're like ah but you just draw your line in a different place like yeah sure yeah I know they clearly do yeah that's not the point I don't eat whatever like cooked crickets I think that's that feels weird to me sure I understand that that one's closer but it's cooked it's cooked they're not alive when you're eating it the thing is you're going to have to get used to eating the bugs right I understand this and I'm

[00:44:38] you know I've eaten the crickets that are you know they come in the little bag and it's like yeah I've eaten them on the dare chocolate covered ants the chocolate covered ants but I understand completely that it's like a mental thing that makes it weird have you ever anything made with cricket flour I don't think so it's fine it's fine it being ground up into a flour would make it completely palatable to me right it's when you see and feel the creature in your mouth that's where I draw the line

[00:45:07] no amount of coal here like eating pig shit is going to make me go wow wow he's really opened my mind I really see it now yeah I think that's probably why a lot of these videos got taken down number one but also he was okay with it he did actually get in trouble for this so the RSPCA which is an animal welfare charity in the UK he got they sent him a letter saying you know you broke the law regarding animal cruelty we're gonna send

[00:45:36] the cops after you he did say you know like oh it's fine whatever you know it's fine on one occasion he says I was told I needed to see the police within a couple hours or a warrant would be issued for my arrest they drove to meet me I sat in their van answering questions I didn't have a lawyer with me and he felt this behavior was underhand the RSPCA confirms these events though it says he was free to leave so RSPCA's own vet accepted that if he bit down quickly and killed the fish it would have only

[00:46:06] had minimal time for suffering he also claims that an individual in this agency had told him that in their view the whole thing aka the prosecution was completely unnecessary and nonsense the whole thing is he filmed it yeah but he also settled before they could prosecute him essentially so he settled with them now you know what's the interesting thing is that like in the 30 I think it was like the 40s and 50s like a high school dare was apparently swallowing goldfish

[00:46:36] sure right swallowing goldfish not chewing them there's a distinction to be made it's important Huffington Post got in on this of course oh yes this man's eating alive scorpion is my favorite chat pile song hell yeah hell yeah so if you can stomach it they say watches Cole 28 shoves the flailing insect again the scorpion into his mouth and tries desperately and successfully to keep it down don't be too impressed by his recent feat though the Eldbridge Guardian reported that the

[00:47:06] creepy crawler was a non-stinging scorpion oh come on oh well but what they don't tell you is that he was shot in the chest while wearing a bulletproof vest just minutes beforehand oh that's fair so he was recoiling from that it was only a level one ugh yeah he was taking the white boy dreadlocks though I know he was taking poison damage because he had just yeah but here's another video he procked yep food for louis eating alive tarantula now I've watched where they eat tarantulas and you gotta cook all their hairs off right

[00:47:35] it's supposed to be real gross Halloween special does this feel a little bit like the Ali G bit is he from Stains? I mean he's not from Stains but there's a bit of like I'm so look how dumb I'm really dumb I'm really dumb please enjoy jingle some car keys in front of me wow that's like a real Pete Wentz looking little the guy this guy used to play drums for baby shambles it looked like both the fallout boy Pete Wentz and Patrick they stopped they hopped both fallout boys stepped into the

[00:48:05] the transportation machine from the fly oh no let me drop it he's pulling the face he's pulling the oh no am I about to eat this oh no this pussy's real stinky I love it got him got him oh no she just came back from yoga class uh oh oh I don't like this at all oh is he gonna he's like bundling it yeah cause he's trying to he bunches it up and then bites the thorax oh

[00:48:35] this is it's the fact that he hesitates that's right just get to it man come on this is giving some sort of like kink content vibe right here don't don't eat don't make me eat a tarantula or I'll come when you were first introducing this character here I thought oh he's uh nuts and likes to do this yeah this feels like he's not actually enjoying it these videos right and that's like

[00:49:05] stupider is it worse yeah yeah I'm gonna go yeah if he was just nuts it's like well he's nuts he someone he don't know no better we failed him somewhere right along the way well the British mental health care system or whatever but yeah strange fella don't skirt accountability in this okay me personally I failed him yeah that's fair thank you Jason but it takes a lot to own up that according to the dailymeal.com which is a lovely play on the daily mail I love that

[00:49:35] this was also 2012 Marcy Franklin wrote this and the headline the guy who eats live animals isn't as cruel as you think yep so Hitler had a couple good ideas this is where these this is some the torment nexus actually has a few upsides so yeah it says yes Louis Cole makes his living by eating spiders lizards and crayfish while they're still alive but that's not what you think the Guardian explored a new side of the food stuntman to realize something unexpected there's purpose behind it

[00:50:04] PETA and the RSPCA of course call his antics gratuitously cruel he insists he's not in fact he tries to kill each animal within five seconds of eating them he draws the line at live mammals what should be getting attention he said to the Guardian again with the Guardian is world poverty oh wow we didn't even bring that up once no we're the bad guys we fucked up he managed to kind of stay under the radar for a while after that he actually started

[00:50:32] a food channel a vegan cooking channel called Food for Louis he also created a social media travel management agency brand which means nothing to me that is you're just speaking gibberish based on his slogan live the adventure find the nomads with a clothing company founded by Cole Steve Booker and Jake Evans in 2014 but lasted about two years he did a bunch of travel blogs food for Louis became

[00:51:01] fun for Louis he did some activist work sort of kind of you know he went to Reykjavik in Iceland with the prime minister Sigur Øjnge Johansson he did a Kickstarter for Beyond Borders film celebrating unity a documentary about flying around the world he reached his 100,000 pound goal and then actually exceeded it so it was 111,563 pounds and yes

[00:51:31] that film did get released 2021 Discovery Plus but 2016 he traveled to North Korea and did some travelogues defending North Korea so again this is an article from 2016 in August this is from Vanity Fair a lot of strange things happen on YouTube Rashomon like retellings of the same birthday party over and over again people eating candy and calling it entertainment Cacy Couture I think that was a reference

[00:52:00] to Casey Anthony fashion videos my celebrity crush okay I get it but right now something especially strange is happening on Google's great video platform something I thought I'd never see and yet probably should have seen coming a popular YouTuber is gallivanting around North Korea and he's loving it oh you guys eat dirt yeah 33 years old at this time in 2016 1.8 million subscribers on Fun for Louie he and a bunch of other vloggers went on a trip

[00:52:30] through the reclusive nation beaming back positive depictions of people in places that seem dot dot dot awfully tidy judging from what we know here's one of the videos beyond the tourism North Korea Day 5 again another great motion graphic whoever's doing his video editing has got some skills in premiere for the very least not as big on the music frankly same fucking dreads it's his adventure hair mmhmm but I mean

[00:52:59] it's standard travelogue fare you go through some of the poor parts of town you have a nice meal Anthony Bourdain style here's the here's the hotel room people shit in this yeah here's the hotel room you know here's a beach isn't this nice boy you know North Korea people are so nice yada yada yada seems cool I huh god I wanna go to China so bad oh sure Shangdong I've seen do the hot pot oh yeah see the tram

[00:53:29] which done go through the building hell yeah he's posting on Twitter did you know North Korea have amazing water parks like yeah maybe only people there and then it says it's a fucking off season man give him a break okay alright alright off season it's uh 360 days out of the year is the off season that's fair but it says the more you watch Cole's videos from North Korea the more you wonder if he's plainly ignorant to the plight of many people in the country or if he's willingly doing an alarmingly thorough job of carrying water for King Jong-un's

[00:53:59] regime not really caring what the implications are because hey cool trip and yes that's exactly what he's doing I believe that it could be a little bit of column A a little bit of column B you think so I think he's a dumb guy and he's just gotta be taken for a ride okay yeah he's just like oh they've got phones here they got water wow I thought they said people who were backwards but I saw a kid kicking a dog just like back home right yeah they're just like us it's like getting

[00:54:28] eaten a rotten frog yeah I love doing this I eat some dirt with some Korean people as you do just like home yeah they love eating animals that aren't typically a part of the western diet probably worth pointing out too he probably got paid a lot of money and that's where a lot of the issue comes from right this another guardian Jesus fucking Christ with the guardian but it does say you know he was accused of carrying out propaganda for the DPRK and possibly getting paid for it he does say in this video

[00:54:57] my response because of course every fucking YouTuber has to have my response why I left the left my struggle whatever it is I can't do this anymore oh yeah that's my favorite I can't do this anymore my favorite one to fuck around with that has been Emily the harpist because all her fucking videos are like coming clean and it's like yeah my my heart pedal is now 20% off or whatever she's brilliant a thing that's it's become real clear to me that like algorithmic

[00:55:27] content the way it's served it's not it doesn't work or I guess it works but like there's there's going to be an end to this so many the white text on the black screen from bands breaking up kicking out a member for us all and I'm like I don't you guys have 1500 followers yeah I've never heard of you you're not in a genre I would listen to like this should not be being shown to me well yeah there's that um and not

[00:55:57] that's like not anything against like but like if they play death metal I'm just never going to listen to it but the algorithm's like oh there's getting a lot of attention yeah Matt's going to love this that cockroach pussy from Biloxi broke up because it turns out that Wolfman Steve cheated on his baby mama with usually it's like a 14 year old yeah there we go 14 year old just a 14 year old that person no name no agency it's just a 14 year old that exists in the ether

[00:56:26] and I guess you know what 14 year old Biloxi yeah the girl lady of the lake she's like y'all got box one but right I mean if I was ever going to see one of this guy's videos I bet it would have been my response and like a dance I would have clicked on it and gone like who's this guy what's he talking about well actually the age of consent and stains is oh fuck that's how he's going to start this video yeah he does sound a little too much like Ali G ah well there you go yeah

[00:56:56] I love the people yeah who were filtered to me like fine coffee I'm not an investigative journalist he continued I do not do political commentary there are other places on the internet where you can go and find these things Cole didn't want to be interviewed for this piece but his team sent a statement it said Louis saw this as a unique opportunity to immerse in the culture his goal was to help and to connect with North Koreans in a meaningful way with this in mind it was Louis's desire

[00:57:26] and intention that his videos honor the excellent community work done by the organization as volunteers it is not his intention to gloss over or dismiss any negative issues that plague the country and he apologizes if his vlogs came across that way the non apology apology now we should do a documentary about the failed artist who became a great leader oh and really unified a lot of the world under one banner and just say nothing

[00:57:55] negative yep my struggle and then yeah when people are like hey that guy did some bad stuff too it's like whoa hey I don't agree with that guy yeah not trying to yuck your yum don't or don't yuck my yum yeah yeah it sucks that how close are we to not be being able to use Nazis as just like a general bad guy before there's enough people that will go well hang on now I don't know

[00:58:27] about all that the Italian futurists had a couple good ideas you know be freaks and they're starting to become not they're starting to yeah I mean we live in the burger reich with the treatler rights maybe you're gonna go well the thing no oh you got the thing is here I am spouting my belief about Nazis Matt what you gotta understand is that the German people were you gotta understand the deutschmark was completely devalued the treaty of Versailles was a real bad deal for the German people

[00:58:56] and yeah there's no parallels between Reichstag fire pre-Reichstag fire Germany and our own current tableau of existence see I don't know enough about like the things you guys are saying are kind of make me go well we're not saying anything good like anything like these are positive comparisons it's really more like the iron heel of fascism is we're doing some real fucking kill every sparrow you see kind of shit which is not necessarily

[00:59:26] not which is just Mao the guy that goes when I leave here I'm gonna go to the next place well no actually treaty of respect is really bad for now I've done it well okay so back to the point at hand he has excised those vlogs from his channel he now goes goes goes name tech for louis this is his current channel 463k subscribers for videos which I don't think is true that can't be right but yeah it's all

[00:59:56] about like oh I've got this new camera can it vlog or driving in a solar car he's doing Mr. Beast but for tech stuff and that's fine fun for louis does still have 1.98 million subscribers it has a lot of the same content right going to Costa Rica the lowest I've fallen I ate all the animals now I'm eating this baby this is an interesting different example of

[01:00:26] all you have to do is be a bad person like this is it's not the same as a direct scam okay does he care about any of this does he care about tech he's just like looking at what someone else did yeah he's getting promoted he's getting promoted by insta 360 for the solar scooter and like okay taking the money from them and like can I ride a solar powered scooter from UK to Italy can

[01:01:09] I well this guy ate live animals but if it was a different person that made that same video I would feel like I think this is a bad guy I think this is bad but I

[01:01:40] it is good to sell out well now here's flying to Dubai there you go watch me eat all of these migrants passports Jesus he's like just throwing up from Ghana but yeah so he's doing a lot of the same kind of world traveling you know I'm gonna go skydive here I am you know going you're getting on a flight

[01:02:10] and I'm doing electric campers and it's fine it's whatever I mean fucking PewDiePie is doing the same type of shit with his life in Japan series but like PewDiePie at least has the temerity to be like look I was a weirdo racist piece of shit I'm different now here's what I do differently but he's just he's switched out his he had gamer moments for he had father

[01:02:39] moments and I'll take it you know what that's fine did you see this completely apropos of nothing on Blue Sky there was this huge discourse about like oh we shouldn't use clanker as I don't think we Jason to an existing slur their reasoning was because well what if AI is making a healthcare decision for you at age 80 so doing the

[01:03:09] Rothko's ballast but what if it was racist what a weird way to make it I yeah their argument for why we shouldn't use it is worse than using it and be like well it's not real it's not a real thing yeah whoa it's bad what a cool what a fun world we live in isn't it just it's a good time I mean like I am seeing this they are saying the food supply is about to collapse

[01:03:39] we're eating horses you should not be racist because what if a black guy can help you at some point that is essentially their argument yeah that's the essentialism that they're arguing you shouldn't say slurs because what if somebody that that slur describes is your doctor well alright prove me wrong I tell you what counting or not counting robot violence I guess there are people in this world if that's

[01:04:09] where we gotta start I guess maybe I don't know but yeah in the meantime he did marry Raya Echeva a Bulgarian vegan YouTuber they have two kids god those kids get nothing but screen time nothing and what an interesting fellow Louis Cole still doing his thing fun for Louis is still around but he's trying to distance himself from eating a live scorpion what a fun what a fun sexy time that is to be on the internet

[01:04:38] yeah well I guess that means it's time to tell people where to find us on the old internet Matt since you are our guest please tell the people listeners of the show where to find you online certainly Matt F Bosler everywhere it's always that at Matt F Bosler and the dot com as well okay so you've got the Instagram you're on the TikToks there you got the band camps there podcasts there

[01:05:08] on the Spotify and what not and yeah so pretty much anywhere yeah you're right that's a fair point all of them so September 19th at the Golden Record you will be eating a long hot dog yeah during a set during a I'm playing music I'm singing right I'm eating a four foot hot dog are you gonna be wearing shiny pants yeah well come on I mean it's Matt Bosler oh yeah what are you talking about with or without Gibson RD bass no I'm guitar now I'm jazz masters now it's lighter you really

[01:05:38] throw him around he's not wearing them now by the way for those of you listening at home I'm just I'm breaking the illusion the hour layer is not fair enough fair enough Spider-Man wearing that thing okay I think we you know it's an important point in history to create physical experiences that are unique agreed and that you can in some sense only have in the physical world and I want to give people new

[01:06:07] experiences yeah and if you if you think real hard when have you ever seen someone eat during a performance a show a band a musical yeah I think the closest thing was a bug chaser show at off Broadway where they had a guy mixing drinks on stage while they played and that's and that's cool I'm not I'm certainly not downplaying that that's neat that's the closest thing also it was a bubble machine that smelled like pussy

[01:06:37] I don't know about that that was really it was really surreal a what machine a bubble machine so there was like a carnival bubble machine I thought you said butthole machine I don't know what the hell it smelled it smelled like old fish and there was a guy mixing drinks on stage me and you were in a different pussy bed yeah I was gonna say it depends on yeah I don't know if this was yoga pants anyways but that's the closest I'm trying to think don't think too hard because it's probably happened but let's stop right there and just go yeah yeah I can't I'm sorry

[01:07:06] well I have to think I mean but what I'm trying to get is for as much music I've seen and photographed that I'm trying to think of no you can't yeah not like not in the sense that like maybe like someone like eating like a birthday piece of birthday cake or something like that something celebratory but not purposely like we're playing live music and I'm gonna eat this big ass piece of food now I have a logistical question I just I just have to get it out there please between songs

[01:07:34] or mid song mid song okay well I look and I also don't I'm not gonna practice this okay that was the other question have you practiced no I don't know a four foot hot dog is gonna be about eight hot dogs yeah thereabouts yeah I don't know if I can do that it's a lot of sodium it is a lot of sodium that is the other thing that I think we're living in a world where things are sort of safer and safer the entertainment we consume you know they talk about like these Netflix shows

[01:08:04] I don't know if this is true but like they repeat the plot over and over oh yeah there's this algorithmic and stuff like that second screen and this could fail spectacularly I'm gonna have a bucket now I would say when's the last time we saw some puke on stage that's probably more common I've seen a couple black lip shows yeah but it could happen here you could be walking into a catastrophe a car crash and I think that's a lot of fun oh yeah I'm in I'm ready as someone that was at

[01:08:34] like some early dead junior shows where Zach would pull his pants down and do weird shit with his dick you know what is upsetting to me and I'm sorry to go off on a thing at the I think that a lot of things that we did in the past they're considered bad now is because good people legitimately didn't know that there were so many bad people yes right I think it's fine to get your dick out of the show I think it's funny sure I wouldn't do it now and if someone did it

[01:09:03] now I might go but you know now that there are bad people that would get their dick out in a different kind of way yes so now you like can't do it because well and I don't know if you know Zach from dad junior but he's a sweetheart right and when we were getting our dicks out and mooning you can't moon anymore no and for good reason because there are bad people but we died and we're getting older it's harder to wipe there's that yeah well you're right

[01:09:32] there's an embarrassment factor but I just think that it sucks that it's good that we are aware of the monsters in this world other than the direct monstrous things they do it is also very sad the fun things they've taken away from us like showing our butts yeah absolutely I think more butts the better Brian tell people where to find you online to talk about their butts if you want to talk to me about your bare butt back and balls you can find me over on

[01:10:02] Twitter and Blue Sky over at IShotGyDbord I-S-H-O-T-G-Y-D-B-O-R-D you can find me over on Instagram over at A Music Photographer if you want to check out my well curated portfolio of people with their mouths open you can go over to theartsstl.com and if you want to check out the last and only good media website left in the screen St. Louis you can head over to theartsstl.com Jason where can they talk to you about Hole oh boy anytime you want to talk about the Courtney Love band Hole you can always talk to me

[01:10:32] at any place there's a video crime V-I-D-E-O-C-R-I-M-E that's going to be Twitter and Blue Sky and Letterboxd and all those other places if there's a video crime chances are that's me you can also find me as a part of podcast not this one it's called it's meant for the approval of Midnight Pals if you've never heard it it's a lot of fun there I play a fictionalized version of horror icon Stephen King Matt you can see over here in the corner I've got Stephen with the monster squad rules t-shirt on that's midnight-pals

[01:11:01] dot simplecast dot com anywhere podcasts are sold you can search Midnight Pals that's a lot of fun two seasons worth of goofing off and having fun talking about horror authors sitting around a campfire a la are you afraid of the dark it's very fun you can also reach out to this show in a number of ways my personal favorite is the telephone 314-246-9766 or be like our brave text friend who sent us a text about kill hamster was gonna kill this guy 314-246-9766

[01:11:31] that's 314 ahoy poo if you like to spell with your telephone you can also shoot us an email Jason at the number four the number eight minutes dogs barking dot com Brian with a Y at the number four the number eight minutes dogs barking dot com let us know what you think of the show let us know what you think of Matt let us know what you think about four foot hot dogs whatever it is that you want to talk about do that thing support the show patreon.com slash four eight minutes of dogs there you're gonna find our post show hangout called thanks I hate it Matt here is gonna be joining us for a wonderful little extra

[01:12:00] little bonus where we talk about things that we watched and enjoyed and things a thing we call the breath mint of course long time listeners of the show will know that is patreon.com slash four eight minutes of dogs we are also working on more of our shot.jpg best of we're working on the punishment tier this year it will be I have decided it is going to be the entirety of the BME pain Olympics because we owe you for so long we will be watching the BME pain Olympics and doing a

[01:12:30] live stream of it for you only at the the punishment tier level at patreon.com slash four eight minutes of dogs well as we always say at this time namaste good luck give mommy a good gut fucking 25th amendment now who ate all the pussy eat the knife and Matt since you are our guest you get to have the last word take it away bye bye bye bye