Storing Eggs in the Milk Drawer

[00:00:00] Congress just passed a bill that gives Israel full access to your Steam library. Big Benji can now log into your account and start messing up your KDR in your most played games, hoops.

[00:00:12] From the 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, I'm Jason, that's Bryan.

[00:01:20] Oh yeah, yeah we're here. Yeah. He's on tape delay from Toronto apparently. Sorry, sorry I'm uh... I still got a sensory delay from my car accident. I hit people from... I've reared in some people from Ohio so I'm a little bit behind. We're back in the 1870s, back in Ohio. Back in... we're churned butter. People are letting the livestock in their living room. Far dead in Ohio! Why the hell?

[00:01:49] I remember being in Sandusky, Ohio one time for Sierra Rapids with a couple friends and the Sunday morning, which was the last day we were gonna have in Sandusky. We couldn't buy alcohol. Yeah, yeah. Until it was like noon. And it was also not just until noon, but we were also so many feet away from a church. And I'm like, we're in the Midwest. So there's churches everywhere. Yeah, yeah. Also Sandusky, Ohio, I know it's changed, but that town, despite being a fucking tourist trap,

[00:02:19] shuts the fuck down at 8. Like we could not... both times we went, we could not find a bar. Like we're not gonna go to the TGI Fridays. Sure. On the lake. I remember one time we had just a hard enough time, like we couldn't find a grocery store that had alcohol. And we ended up going to some grocery... not grocery store, we ended up going to this gas station we saw on the way in, and got hamistered by like two 12 year olds on BMX bikes. Bleh!

[00:02:46] And I'm like, no man. We've been driving around for an hour trying to find somewhere. I ended up buying like a four loco margarita because like I've got like, this might be the only chance I get the entire... Yeah, this is it. Yeah. It was just, you know, I was younger. I was younger and drinking and thinking. Speaking of thinking, we're thinking the Republican National Convention has lost its goddamn mind. In so many ways. Not the least of which is our good friend, Hasan Piker. He knows Brian by name.

[00:03:14] This according to the Washington Examiner, the headline, Hasan Piker flabbergasted over quote, meat pic featured in RNC midterm convention. And yes, an image of Piker posing in his underwear was included in a video played during the event that characterized Democrats as communists and made the streamer appear as representative of the entire party. Piker was on live stream during the convention and reacted to his image being shown. And I'm going to try to see if I can play this for you now.

[00:03:44] Here it is. Yeah, it's his Instagram page, which if you don't follow Hasan Abhi, buddy. Yeah, his assistant were mutuals. Awesome. So she posted it and then I saw it. Awesome. Prime sign programming has begun and they showed you that rewind like four minutes. Because today's extreme left hasn't simply moved away from Republicans. Most of the nation is composed of same people. Wait, ACP? What the fuck? If you've got history, go back thousands of years.

[00:04:14] Trots. You've always had socialism and... Communist Party USA! It's never going to work. It's not going to work this time. I have to text David to see if it's a way for Democrats in its own party. I am not going to be in the same party. Oh! No! They fucking posted it! They forget the fucking Trumpalooza! Oh! What the fuck?

[00:04:44] No! So it's Hasan Piker doing a beefcake photo. Yeah. He's in some very, very nice black... I want to say boxer briefs. I've not seen the unedited photo in a minute because they blur it out. Yeah, they blur his crotch out. They blur out his crotch. And it's not like this guy is smuggling plums or anything. So it's a little...

[00:05:11] I imagine there's a couple Debras and Karens that were looking for the unedited photo that were maybe a little disappointed in that respect. But this was definitely him in peak physique. Oh, yeah, yeah. He is ripped. He's definitely got the V-taper going on. He's got the triangle dick muscle, as they once said. Yeah, this was an after. He had posted before and then this was his after photo. I mean, he's in a closet.

[00:05:38] He's showing his traps, his bicep. You know, obviously he does not skip leg day. Look at that. He's got the quads coming out. Hell yeah. The kneecap. You know, classico move. You know, just real aesthetic body here. Mr. Beefy is what I'm calling for. Yeah, man. He works out. A fascist worked out today. Did you? Oh, geez. And then on top of this, you got to think about the DSA infighting over about whether you should exercise as a person.

[00:06:08] Oh, yeah. I know these arguments because my ex was one of those people that's like, why you exercise? I'm like, because I don't want to feel like shit and I don't want to be fat. And she's like, well, I'm fat. I'm like, that's your prerogative. Right. None of my business. And the whole thing was like her ex was like a gym rat and she like, hey, go into the gym. And I'm like, that's cool. I don't want to like, you don't have to go to the gym to do shit. She had a really weird viewpoint of exercise. Sure. But so I know that argument of like, are you just like, you know, are you priming?

[00:06:37] Are you primping yourself? Are you being like your navel gazing? It's like, I want to like not feel like shit. Right. Not be in pain. I think the funniest thing about the video that they put together that has Hassan in it is it goes from people in the streets, firebombing to, as he says, trots, trotskists and then communist party USA people and then photos of Hassan. Then the meat pick. And then it's James Carville looking like the fucking crypt keeper saying, I don't want

[00:07:06] to have anything to do with him. Like James Carville. Can we hit him with the heart attack gun for God's sake, please? Oh, no, you can't hit me with no heart attack gun. You got to understand. I got the substance strategy all laid out. You can't, you can't hit me with none. Too quick. Too quick. Well, that too fae. So another too fae. Hassan too gay. Whoa. He's in, he's in Belgium crashing out right now because apparently they don't have good internet.

[00:07:37] And his stream looked like his stream looked like a really poor rip of like Evil Dead 2 on LiveLeak in 2007. The VCD you bought out of a guy's trunk. Yeah. The same place where you can get a really good hot ham and cheese. Yeah. The very same. Yeah. Well, speaking of beef and meat picks. Sure. Why not? PC Gamer gives us this.

[00:08:01] Breaking Benjamin front man pauses concert to rant about Fallout 4 modding beef. So the lead singer of Breaking Benjamin, Benjamin Burnley, the titular Benjamin. He did create a Fallout 4 mod. If you've never heard of it, it's called the true first person mod. And so he was very proud of his achievement. It was a true first person mod, etc. But apparently during this concert, something stuck in his craw.

[00:08:31] Here's the video that someone captured. This is again courtesy of PC Gamer. Oh, the original video was captured by Reddit user I'm underscore all underscore ears. By the way. This was at a concert in Holmdel, New Jersey. Right now mods from Skyrim and Fallout. It's an F4SE plugin, DLL native plugin.

[00:09:00] That makes it so that when you're in first person, you stay in first person. You see your body in first person. You go to your workshop, you're in first person. And a third person still works. So, I want you to go and download that fucking mod. It's called true first person.

[00:09:28] I do love the like, word document. Somebody at the venue was like, sure, I'll do this. And he puts up on the screen, go get this mod. And it gives his username. Yeah. Killemloud, by the way, is his modder name. Killemloud. And I found a video where he's demoing true first person 1.2. So let's look at the mod that he's talking about. The titular Benjamin of Breaking Benjamin. Okay, so when you sit down in a chair, it stays in first person. Okay. And you can see your body, which is not a thing that you can normally do in Fallout 4. Yeah. Or modded.

[00:09:57] Okay, stays in first person when you're using the work benches. Kind of sucks, but alright. Give me a little motion sick. Like I get it. He wants the immersive experience. But to go on stage as... Oh yeah, the first person when getting into the power armor is a little wonky. Okay, so you can still use third person, he says. Okay. So, it's fine. Yeah. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird thing to stop a concert for four fucking minutes over.

[00:10:22] So the caveat here, the buried lead, is that apparently the drummer broke his snare head. Interesting. And so that's just like the thing I guess he said he was going to rant on about the fill time. I heard the drummer kind of going off in the middle of the little rant there. Oh, that's fucking okay. That's even better. That makes it a little bit less like... He stopped a show for four minutes just to do this. Yeah, yeah. It's like he needs something he could go on about while the drum head got replaced.

[00:10:51] At the same time, what you're going on about is Fallout 4 modding. Dude, you know what? Someone like me who's been photographing live music for a long time, I have seen some pretty odd conversations. I can't think of any off the top of my head. But I have seen some stalling for time. Like, watching bands basically do crowd work while like someone broke a guitar string. Yeah. And the roadies got... Or the fucking guitar tech is whipping it. But like, man, we gotta stall for at least a minute so he can get this going.

[00:11:22] So tell a story. I don't know. Don't... Yeah, or be like, yeah, you used to play this place called the Creepy Crawl and like people start cheering. You're like, fuck! My least favorite thing when I was at the pageant was some band touring behind like the 20th or 25th anniversary of their like peak record and be like, yeah, you guys ever go to the Creepy Crawl? Come on, man. The Creepy Crawl sucked. Yeah, but it's like the one thing that they know. So they gotta pull that out of their back pocket. You know what, man? Well, I did Loan for Swans in 2013 and they were talking about playing the Gasworks.

[00:11:52] Okay. At fucking LaCleez Landing. I was like, yeah, I was like in kindergarten. I think when you guys played that show, but I know of the Gasworks. I heard that was a really cool ass fucking place. And the bass player was like, it was very fucking cool. I'm like, I'm amazed you remember that. And then I was scared of Michael Gera the rest of the night. I think you're scared of Michael Gera just in general. Yeah. He's a scary man. Michael Gera. I would be too. He's a scary dude. He's a scary dude. A singular musician. Oh, absolutely.

[00:12:21] And there will be no, I think the closest thing that Michael Gera we have is Chatpile. I think Jordy Greep's up there just in a different way. Yeah. That was weird, but this is even stupider and weirder and dumber. You're familiar, I hope, with the Twitter original show, The New Norm. The New Norm? Yeah. The New Norm. Oh, the, like, the, just, fuck man. A real relic from... Not that long ago. It was 2024.

[00:12:51] But it feels so long ago. It really does. And it was like, oh, we're going to fight the woke mind virus. Well, they decided a long while back that they weren't really going to pay any animators anymore. They're going to go full AI, which has made the show continue to suck ass. Tonight, 4.20pm Eastern, was the first live stream of The New Norm, the Norm Glitch AI live stream. Something they've been promoting for a while.

[00:13:17] Essentially, the idea was they're going to give you free reign over The New Norm and let you do whatever in a live stream format. A company called Enter Glitch was hosting it, so it turned out about as well as you thought some sort of internet live stream was. Here's a video from at Jinky's Corner. Can we guess why the live lasted 10 minutes? We've got this one here where it says Norm's belly grows big and gassy.

[00:13:45] And there's Norm expanding and farting, I guess. The television says, is he broken? Hayden sucks at 2K behind them. Wheat all over. I don't know why. Yeah, the Norm whips it out. Can I edge to your video? We've got Norm 6-7 on a television in the background. More wheat still. Norm carrying baby Norm with a bottle of what appears to be mango sauce,

[00:14:14] which is also says 6-7. It's our mango mustard 6-7 Norm, it says. And he has on his forehead 6-7. This was posted by at Swag Soda 7. Chuck the Cuck at Chuck the Cuck Ho. Is that Sans from... It is Sans from Undertale, yes. Stuff her off. You got Iron Maiden playing live with what appears to be a knockoff prince there. Several clones of Norm.

[00:14:42] A big fat round version of one of the characters from the actual show. Yeah, it's at Jackpog 68. Everyone inflates and they're all getting big. The new Norm kind of leaned into this. They posted several images saying Norm fans are unhinged. Yeah, there's some Rick and Morty type aliens running around. You got a skeleton that says, read cyber feet. A sign on the wall that says, get well soon, Amy. Some of the requests on the right side. Noel Holiday from Deltarune appears and takes Chaz to the other side of the lake.

[00:15:11] They only talk in Polish from now on. Norm says, I hate... Well, you get what that's going to be. There's a bunch of dogs on the couch. Bread sitting out. A book that says Evola on it. I really don't get what they're going for. Here's another one posted by at awesome guy 92567. It says, turn this shit back on. I want my interdimensional cable back. We've got dancing dogs, books flying around the room.

[00:15:39] A backwards sign that says snarky snappy, winnipy winned. Sure. It's completely stupid. Completely assadine. Monkey fucking cheese. Yeah, I started compiling a bunch of these. Multiple norms outside the front door. What appears to be an attempt at Snoop Dogg. There's also a little... I swear it's Brace Belden as Wario on the left side. I feel like that's very Bob's Burger art style. Yes, yes, yes. Absolutely ridiculous.

[00:16:06] Here's one with Norm has turned into a crab and then a tiny clone of... I think the character is called Chaz. Yes, thank you. The Chaz character. I think it's like the kid version of his wife. Yeah. Let's see here. Norm says he got painted and sissified by Tyrone Norm. Okay, Norm read the name he steals copy pasta is one of the requests. Norm can't stop having babies. So this is the one I wound up on. Robotic copies of Chaz. Multiple copies of Norm.

[00:16:34] A guy holding a sign that says soy jack stays forever, but it takes place in what's supposed to be Norm's living room, but is actually the set of cheers. Sort of. Many requests here saying Norm explodes. Norm plays Friday Night Funkin'. People have been trying to make this thing into something. But also you gotta understand Norm's also holding a baby still. Yes, he is. Oh, Jesus Christ. Lord almighty. Yeah.

[00:17:01] The live service glitch ran for a couple hours, but you had to get into individual rooms. So I was only able to capture a very teeny tiny sliver of just the incredibly stupid things that were going on. And you have to imagine along with me too, that these characters are fully voiced, but with creepy AI voice. And so if it says, Norm says black lives matter, it's black lives matter. Like in this weird affected way. John Madden football. Oh man. See, I didn't get control.

[00:17:30] So I did not get a chance to have him go. Here comes another Chinese earthquake. Truly God awful. The new Norm. Here's a, here is the only video that they did post. The prompt was Norm lands a kickflip. Now before this happens, there are two Rick Sanchez's on the stairs. It looks like Morty in a dress. Donald Trump on the right. And then someone on a podium that says Ben Shiprow. So it's not Shapiro, but Ben Shiprow. Norm and Chaz hiding behind the couch.

[00:18:00] But then the prompt comes up that says Norm lands a kickflip. And so here he comes with an Xbox controller in his hand, by the way. He actually landed. Norm lets one rip. It says as a river of shit is coming down the stairs. I can't even begin to explain like, okay, they're going to have him gaping by the end of the next episode. I don't know. The new Norm folks. Oh, amazing. I'm surprised there wasn't more.

[00:18:29] Like four. They tried some more. They tried some inflation stuff and some inflation stuff got through. But yeah, very strange. This one is just completely stupid. It's from Reddit. So, you know, it's probably fake anyway. From the subreddit r slash roommate problems. The headline roommate stores eggs in milk drawer. One day I came home from work and found the egg drawer of the fridge full of milk. I don't know why he does this. And I can't find online any single use to do this.

[00:18:55] After asking AI, it says there isn't a single use for this and is actually a massive health risk. It insists that it was a mistake that he did it. But I have confirmed with my roommate that he did this on purpose. Does anybody have any inputs on this? And it is just kind of what it sounds like. It's a bunch of eggs floating in a drawer full of milk. God, eggs are so expensive right now. I know. We're wasting it. Wasting it. You're wasting your eggs there, sir. So there have been multiple updates. Update one.

[00:19:23] Okay, for everyone asking questions on the matter. See, this tells me that either it's English as a second language for this person or there's something else going on. I was bit by Chinese Dracula. Well, it was a Chinese man. What bit me? I haven't had a ton of time to have a detailed conversation with my roommate about the matter. Again, the matter twice. The original context came from my landlord asking my roommate why he did it. And he kept beating around the bush and saying the old ones went bad. So I had to start again and would refuse to give more context.

[00:19:52] I went to work this morning. We both have the same workplace. And I asked him about the milk and eggs myself. And he said that he had no idea about what I was talking about. And that if there were eggs in a drawer filled with milk, that it must have happened by accident. There must have been something that sprung a leak or something. As you can see from the picture, there is no milk above the drawer. So I don't know what he's talking about. Update two. Roommate is home now. And for some context, we are both in the military. Workplace, military, figure it out. And he just got back from deployment a few weeks ago.

[00:20:21] He's not the prank type. And we keep to ourselves in the house. So it's usually pretty quiet. He's the one that cooks. Like I said before, the landlord had asked him about it and he gave a not so clear answer. I pressed him about it this morning and he wasn't happy to be asked about it again. He said he knows nothing about it and even stated that, quote, I literally cleaned out the fridge before I left for the weekend and didn't see it in there. I know it wasn't me who did it. So he's probably just embarrassed about the egg thing because it's clearly a dumb thing to do.

[00:20:50] More context for frequently asked questions. I used AI after searching the internet for the issue and was hoping it would tell me something I wouldn't be able to find. I know loose milk in a drawer is not good. I end up taking the eggs out, throwing them away and dumping the milk out in the sink. I washed my sink out along with the egg drawer. Also, I am not karma farming. I use Reddit to goon and occasionally look up tech problems.

[00:21:18] I don't give a fuck about karma and I wouldn't waste food and milk for the fake number. Here's to hoping I don't get any more lobotomized comments who can barely read. Brother, you can barely write. Eggs in the milk drawer, Brian. At least it's not toenail clippings on the counter. At least it's not mom found the piss drawer. Oh God, it does have mom found the piss drawer. That's immediately what I thought of too, yeah. Mods do something I'm scared are a lot of the comments. You know, what the fuck is the milk drawer?

[00:21:49] Are you sure that's milk? OP your roommate's an alien. Let's grab a straw and dip some Oreos. You and I saw this one coming a mile away and yet here we are. Here we are, folks. Crypto Scam of the Week. You're listening to 48 Minutes of Dogs Barking, the podcast. And now it's time for the Crypto Scam of the Week. Probably the crypto scam this year that I've seen that just my jaw is on the fucking floor. I got to be frank. Yeah.

[00:22:18] There's so many layers to it. First of all, this is not the first time someone has made a Hunter Biden themed meme coin called Laptop. Correct. Which is weird. And this is also Hunter Biden was just on the Adam Friedland show. He was also on Channel 5. Which is where the story gets interesting. Channel 5 hosted Hunter. Good episode. Channel 5, if you're not familiar, used to be called All Gas No Brakes. Andrew Callahan.

[00:22:48] Apparently the idea was that he was going to take a mailing list curated by Andrew Callahan and send 20% of the supply to crypto wallets belonging to people who lost money on dollar sign Trump and subscribers to Hunter Biden's sub stack and the mailing list for Channel 5. Callahan said Channel 5 has nothing to do with this.

[00:23:13] Quote, as we told our followers numerous times, we do not believe crypto is a legitimate investment. We wish Hunter the best. Shout out to the homie. All right. Fair enough. It's just fucking. Why did you give that to him? What kind of I mean, I know where there's no sense of journalistic integrity really anymore. Even the people on sub stack I like the most and shit like that. And it's just kind of like one of those things where like, OK, well, I don't know if I can really.

[00:23:41] I don't have faith in Andrew to not fuck up like that again, because I feel like he's had one too many chances. That's fair. Despite the fact that All Gas No Brakes and Channel 5 have done some pretty interesting stuff and some stuff that some of the best stuff doesn't even have him on screen. It's other people. Oh, yeah. The Iran episode. Fantastic. Hunter Biden, 56 years old. This, according to our good friends, not Barry Weiss, but Ben Weiss over at Bloomberg.

[00:24:11] 56 years old, launched a cryptocurrency, dollar sign laptop, meme coin. Launched on base, blockchain developed by Coinbase. Began trading on Aerodrome. It went from $3 to $300 for giving back most of those gains minutes later. The idea, according to what we know, this was another post from Wall Street Journal of all places.

[00:24:37] Laptop's founders, including Biden, will hold 30% of the 1 billion tokens issued. Founder tokens will be locked, can't be sold for six months, and they'll vest fully in two years. 20% of the supply, as I said, crypto wallets to people who lost money on Trump, subscribers to the sub stack and the mailing list from Channel 5. The founders agreed to destroy as much as 30% of the laptop coins should a series of 30 events have predetermined outcomes within the specified time frame.

[00:25:05] Among those, a Democratic winning the 2028 presidential election. Bitcoin reaches all-time highs. Laptop's fully diluted valuation exceeds Trump's. If the events don't achieve their desired outcomes, a proportionate amount of tokens will be donated to charity, supposedly. And the final 20% just goes straight to charity. Of course, that all turned around instantly, as I mentioned. Let's take a look at the graph. It is quite a dead cat bounce. And I showed you some stuff last night. Yes, you did.

[00:25:32] And like one or two handles, it goes straight to the moon, goes almost exactly right back down. Oh, it's at 49 cents now. Oh, boy. Yeah, I had to zoom in this close. But yeah, I showed you P&L. Oh, God, yeah. And there was people that put in hundreds of thousands of dollars that took out five bucks. Yeah, not great. Yeah, it says it went down to below $2. But yeah, now we're looking at current value, 49 cents.

[00:26:01] Market cap of $175. Market valuation at the time of this particular article I'm reading would have been $750 million. So it shat the bed hugely, bigly. Yeah, and it's funny because he spent probably like what last two months like kind of trying to clean up his name, his brand. Yeah, yeah. And I can't remember where it was. I was listening to some podcast or maybe I was reading something online.

[00:26:29] But someone had the argument like he's really aligning himself with crypto stuff. It's not really. It's kind of in the subtext in the background. He's probably going to launch a fucking meme coin like the fucking Hock 2E girl. Yep. And there you go. Apparently he went on Tucker Carlson. This according to Bloomberg. He went on Tucker Carlson saying that he believed in cryptocurrency, but quote, I also want to make some money. And well, get your fucking bag up. Mm hmm.

[00:26:55] We should be asking him the hard questions why like he allegedly can't be alone with his niece. And hmm. Remember, remember that big expose from about a year ago that was this giant PDF? PDF. Yep. I don't know how much of it is true, but it was a fascinating thing to scan through. I also know that half of it was sex that he paid for. But it also seemed like he was like terrorizing his family. That part was the part that I found horrifying.

[00:27:24] But like the stuff about the hookers and like it's a it's it's like it's like it's like play, baby. Yeah. It's like I bought a boat. I took out on the lake and ran out of fuel. I'm like, yeah, I'll do that. He's having rough oral sex with these women. Like, yeah, I would, too. Yeah. Fuck you. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Problem. I don't know, dude. It's very strange. I guess we got to get Hunter to put the true first person mod on Fallout 4 on that laptop and maybe sell that laptop again.

[00:27:54] Yeah. Where is that laptop? The laptop from hell. He's on there. You can see photos of Harbine having sex with a goblin, sleeping with a goblin, making love with a goblin, doing all sorts of Japanese style rough sex to a goblin, doing lots of Sharpay rope stuff. Alex Jones would say that he would get it wrong like that. Just like roll with it.

[00:28:23] No, you see, they tie him up like a dog. And they tie him up like a dog. Try him up like a damn dog. Leave him all around the filthiest parts of town. Well, speaking of the filthiest parts of town. No. No, we're talking about our main topic tonight. This one was kind of just fun. I was reminded of this again because of the release of Coyote v. Acme, the film about Wile Coyote suing the Acme Corporation. And then I remembered. Oh, yeah.

[00:28:48] Which is a metaphor for how the industrial complex or the industrial military complex uses Gaza as a test bed for weapons. Yes. And then the weapons, you know, they fail or whatever. Yeah. It's a metatextual things aside. Foghorn, Lloyd Horns thinks that they're all terrorists. Doesn't matter if they're as high as a tweed bird, tie or high as an elephant's eye. Yosemite Sam has yet to condemn Hamas. I see. It hurts good. Yeah, same.

[00:29:18] I've yet to see it, but I'm looking forward to it. I wanted to go to the drive-in to see it, but it has been 100 fucking degrees in the shade this past couple weeks. And by the time the weather cooled down, it's no longer at the drive-in now. We've got Toy Story 5. So, awesome. Oh, wow. Great. Hmm. Hey, you know what the plot of this one is? Is that iPad is bad. iPad. Jerry get iPad and iPad bad.

[00:29:47] Oh, it's Black Mirror Toy Story. Yes, yes, yes, it is. Yes. The point of this was that I wanted to look up Acme.com because Acme.com has existed for a very long time. It is the business page of one Jeff with one F, Postkanzer, a computer programmer, and the first person to post a weekly, frequently asked question to Usenet. For those of you not familiar with what Usenet is, it was a distributed discussion system.

[00:30:16] If you think of what a bulletin board system is or was, I suppose. It is essentially Unix to Unix dial-up. And it was a bulletin board. Usenet was in common usage. Still is to this day. People love to share illegal files on Usenet. Usenet was a very, very early internet dial-up computer to computer. According to Acme.com, Jeff's very own bio, my first exposure to computers was via my dad's

[00:30:44] PDP-8 at the Lawrence Berkeley Lab. This is, that's old school. So this would have been like when you had to like rent computer time at the fucking college library. The PDP-8 was, yeah, it was created in the 60s. Yeah, that, yeah, this is like pro mainframe type computing. That's insane. Yeah, it says at some point around 1969 or so, when I was 10-ish, he sat me in front of

[00:31:11] the PDP-8's teletype and taught me Focal, which is a programming language. I think my mom can do Focal. That's an interesting skill. I don't know who would use Focal these days. My mom's old school. No, no, no, I am. She can control, she's good in Ruby and Python, but she can't control any kind of snake with any kind of gem. A classic. Is that my bandit? It has to be. It has to be. Point of this all is that he was born to the shit, right? He's been immersed in the shit.

[00:31:41] They forgot I'm him. You're damn right. It says, eighth grade, 1971 to 1972 at Martin Luther King Jr. High School. Lucky enough to get into Mrs. Ruth's math class, which was a freeform computer lab. She managed to get two teletypes with 110-baud acoustic modems. Yeah. They used to dial in to BUSD's HP 2000-b timesharing system, and we're encouraged to program whatever we wanted.

[00:32:10] Now, of course, he learned basic. And then, FRID, it says. This is from SFGate. Frid Kids. All right. So this was Berkeley. More than 20 years ago, when computers weren't much more powerful than today's handheld calculators, a small group of teenagers spent most of their free time falling in love with technology in a room at the Lawrence Hall of Science in Berkeley. And it says here, nicknamed the Frid Kids, a group met nearly every Friday through the 1970s and 80s.

[00:32:39] They designed software programs, wrote and played computer games. But yeah, like. Talk about a guy who's done it, man. Yeah. Well, there was just such a point until, I want to say probably the mid-80s, where computer stuff just felt like real fringe. Mm-hmm. It was women's work, programming. I mean, if you've ever seen Hidden Figures, the film about early NASA, yeah, it was, literally. A computer was someone who did math equations by hand. Bill Gates is one of those people. Steve Jobs is one of those people.

[00:33:09] You could say, and as far as being there at the ground level, this Jeff fellow here is definitely a part of that conversation. He might be the outlier, the wild one. Mm-hmm. But he is from that era. Yeah. Yeah. Where you're fucking renting computer time at the college. You probably have a parent that's getting you in there because like it wasn't until the mid-80s when the computers were a little bit more accessible, you had the personal computer that really started to move around.

[00:33:39] I mean, shit, man. I remember my brother in the 90s, you know, my brother was a guy that worked at a fucking laundromat in the fucking city as a county kid. So he could afford a second line. Oh, hell yeah. So my dad could still get phone calls and my brother would be sitting there fucking programming it on Usenet and shit like that. Shit was wild. And now it's all Charlie Kirk memes and people stealing your data.

[00:34:06] Tender queer assassins meeting up in Teragram channels. Yeah. My trans girlfriend is very upset that I killed Charlie Kirk. Yeah. Which is just, I'm sorry, my trans girlfriend would have been very proud of me. Exactly. So first of all, skill issue on that guy's part. Really packing ourselves into a conversational corner. No, that's it. That's all. That's all. That's all. Yeah. Think on that. Yeah. Chew on that shit for a minute. Oh God.

[00:34:34] He has a Mastodon. Remember when he had a Mastodon? Yeah, of course. Mastodon was like, oh, okay, this is, I find Discord to be obnoxiously complex. I know it isn't. It's just I haven't put the time into it. But Mastodon really felt like, oh, this is, this is like, this is being a Linux nerd in the early 90s type shit. I can't fuck with it. Find me on Truth Social. At this point. Yeah. Charlie Kirk's exploding skull.

[00:35:01] But he's been everywhere and anywhere in the origins of the net. I mean, well, you remember well, 1986. 1991, he wanted Key.com so he could DBA as Key Systems with a logo similar to the old Key System interurban train system in the San Francisco Bay Area. Unfortunately, Key.com was already taken. I settled for my second choice, Acme.com. What a second choice.

[00:35:28] Which was registered 17th of April, 1991. 35 years ago. That's fucking wild. He was one of the first people to make 3D computer graphics that appeared in the magazine Scientific American. He worked on, let's see here, yeah, 3D graphics for Robert Forwood's book Flight of the Dragonfly in 1984. He created Usenet FAQs for alt.graphics.pixutils and alt.hackers.

[00:35:57] A chapter was written about him in Berkeley Hackers by Zachary Margulis and Carol Pilecki, published in 1991. Mostly read in Japan, he notes. He's a fucking dude. He released PMB+. PMB+, was a file format conversion package for changing one image file size to the other. It's now known as NetPBM, but primarily used in Linux.

[00:36:21] Jeff's nude of the month page on Well, where I became one of the web's first pornographers to prove a point. Now, he doesn't elaborate on what the point was. A couple... Listen. Jeff never went below five ropes. If I had Acme.com, I wouldn't either. Two Usenet's Lifetime Achievement Awards for Berkeley Unix and for the Software Tools Project. First web presence on NetCom. Acme.com joined the internet for real 3rd of November 1995.

[00:36:49] Prior to that, it was email Usenet only. In 2001, years before Google Maps, he says, I started producing map pages, including Berkeley Creeks and the Nike missile sites. So here is Berkeley Creeks, a geographic photographic database of the current and former creeks in the Berkeley area. And each one is clickable. There's the creek with some images. Huh. Yeah. Just walked through the creek, took photos, added them to a map. And what year was this? This was 2001. Pretty impressive.

[00:37:19] I mean, this is when microblogging and stuff like that was starting to go. So you were kind of seeing people doing stuff like this. That's really neat. All of this is still on Acme.com, by the way. In 2003, Steve Martin played me in a movie. What? Not true. Well, sort of. The ads described his character as the evil head of the Acme Corporation. This was for, yeah, 2003's Looney Tunes movie. I believe it was back in action.

[00:37:47] Yes, it was back in action where Steve Martin plays the evil head of the Acme Corporation. Which works because he's an evil person. Brendan Fraser. Great movie. Warner Brothers got him to sign a release saying it was okay for them to use Acme.com in the movie. In 2005, Bill Gates said that he was the most spammed person in the world. Yeah, according to this, In 2004, Steve Ballmer made headlines by mentioning Bill Gates was getting 4 million spams a day.

[00:38:15] At the time, I was dealing with a little spam problem on my own. Again, it's 2004. I was getting a million spams a day. I found it a little comforting that my problem wasn't as bad as Bill's. However, a couple of weeks later, Ballmer corrected himself saying he misremembered the stat and that Bill Gates actually gets 4 million per year. Which means I was getting 100 times as much spam as Bill Gates. Pretty good. What am I trying to do here?

[00:38:41] And it shows you the graph of what emails get filtered out and things like that. It's pretty dope. But yeah, Acme Labs has not really changed since it went on to the wide web in 1995 very much at all. Green background, black text. Super simple. Obviously simple to continue supporting because he still does it to this day. It's really cool. Just to be an old computer nerd. Yeah. And then this one says, 2008, the chew maker.

[00:39:10] What the fuck is the chew maker? See, he doesn't elaborate. And so now we've got no results because Google sucks these days. All right, well. And then there's the next one it looks like in the timeline was the AdSense incident. Yeah, the AdSense incident. Well, this was, I did find a result on this. He did get banned from Google AdSense. What did you do? What did this guy do? This is according to Search Engine Roundtable in 2012. About two weeks ago, it says Google banned Jeff Postkanzer,

[00:39:39] a computer programmer knowing from being the first person to post a weekly fact to Usenet. Yesterday, he informed the world of his AdSense ban and explained how he has no idea how it happened. Google basically told him that his site generates too many invalid clicks and Google needs to protect their AdWords advertisers. But in the eight and a half years of his site running AdSense, he's never had an issue before. Even Google's Matt Cutts got into the news and posted on his Google Plus page. Ho, Google Plus. Hell boy.

[00:40:09] He wrote, quote, I just saw we terminated Jeff Postkanzer from AdSense, which caused Nelson Miner, former Googler and one of the creators of the Ads API, to give up on defending us. I can't easily imagine Jeff Postkanzer was click spamming AdSense, while at the same time, I trust the judgment and capabilities of the AdSense team. I hope someone digs into this case and investigates deeply to reach out if there's any more info we can share. Google Plus. Google Plus. Google Plus.

[00:40:39] Yes. This guy, this Nelson guy, Nelson Miner. No wonder why Bill Gates left to work with him. I wonder if my brother knew this guy, because my brother quit around the same time. Oh, yeah, it does say, I stopped working at Google in 2006. Yeah. But I only stopped loving it this month. Okay. I frequently defended the company in public, explaining unpopular actions from what I imagine their side is. Google has often been in the right, but the company is terrible at explaining itself.

[00:41:09] I felt with my understanding of the company, I could do some good in clarifying the discussion. No more. The last month has been particularly hard for Google lovers. I took the company's side in the Kenya mobile fiasco. Oh, Google was fraudulently stealing customers from a Kenyan startup locality. Gross. Oh. Yeah. Big stories about Google Search Plus and the new privacy policy. I think one is actively bad. The other is mostly harmless.

[00:41:35] But both changes are so complex and unpleasantly self-motivated it makes me sad. So now, when I read about a friend getting terminated from AdSense with no explanation, I just get a headache. I imagine half of my readers are smugly thinking, see, I told you Google was evil all along. I don't think that's right. In particular, I refuse to give in to a cynical view of Google's don't be evil model. The ethos was very real, a sincere and important guiding principle.

[00:42:04] And if a big company like Google can't avoid being evil, then what world-changing enterprise can? But I think Google as an organization has moved on. They're focused now on market position, not making the world better, which makes me sad. Reminder, this was 14 years ago. Yeah. I mean, my brother was having conversations with me of a similar tenor in that time. My brother left in 2006-ish. I think my brother had viewpoint.

[00:42:30] I don't think he's going to be mad for telling tales out of school. That working at Google was like for people that loved college. Sure. And my brother, infamously, is someone that dropped out of college like two or three times. Yeah. I get now, as I get older and now working in an office again, the importance of positioning and market. The things that should be secondary.

[00:43:00] Yeah. Taking precedent because it's a lot easier. It's actually detrimental to the mission regardless of the organization, for profit, non-profit, whatever. But, you know, I remember talking with people that were also former Google employees 14 years ago, talking about how the amount of meetings that were being held over like what's the right fucking shade of blue for this header for like Google audio or something.

[00:43:30] Like the early Android stuff had a lot of like really narcissistic, intense micromanaging from like a couple people. I understand that working at an organization that spends an inordinate amount of time like what Shard t-shirts look like. Yeah. I don't know. I think there's a lot of blame to go around. I always hear the name Prabhakar Raghavan as the man who killed Google, but that's also because I read Where's Your Ed At?

[00:43:58] I don't think Ed's wrong. It's a couple years before, you know, Prabhakar was even in the position to kill search. Sure. But it's like when you put people that at least Google beforehand was even if they were insane individuals or assholes, they were at least like engineers. They knew the language. They could talk the talk. They understood the product. They weren't money, man. They weren't like people that were looking at, well, how does this affect shareholder value?

[00:44:22] But if you just look at Acme Laboratories purely as an experiment on the web, there's an insane amount of things that just work. There's little tools. There's a freeware laboratory, THT PD, which is a tiny turbo throttling web server, world's smallest web server. The currently lit face of the earth in ASCII. That's so cool. That's so fucking nerdy.

[00:44:50] He says it took 20 minutes to write, according to this. And yeah, you can refresh it throughout the day and see. We've got the Acme Caption Maker. It makes a text caption. And let's say I'm gay and I'm okay with it. This is so fucking old school. Just so many great little things. The Chart Maker, Annotator, the two day, which shows you what you tweeted on this day in past years. Some of the Twitter stuff obviously probably broke with. Letting that sink in.

[00:45:20] Are you going to see the Elon Musk documentary? The Man Who Thinks He's God or whatever? No. But I am going to see that Elizabeth Holmes documentary. My God! You can see everything? Yeah. I fucking want to see everything. Yeah. I find weird women hot, okay? She's a weird person. She is a very weird person. I also like weird women, but no, sir, I'm good. I'm being 100% real with you right now.

[00:45:49] Why would I have anything to hide? And Nathan Fielder is looking like he's trying not to bust. Well, he and I have something else in common then, yeah. She's got that weird neck fat. Well, she's had a baby. Let her go. Well, okay. No, it was before she had the baby. No, the baby is present in the scene. She's rocking the baby. I mean before the baby, she had the neck thing. That's why she wore the turtlenecks. It wasn't just the Steve Jobs thing. No, the turtleneck accentuated. She looked like she had the hamster face.

[00:46:17] And then she was also apparently talking in a lower voice. Oh, yeah. Do you want to see my blood tests? Is she a great big fat person? Was this a great big sample size? It puts the blood in the matrix or else it gets to hose again. Don't you dare hurt my Indian boyfriend. You're like the air and the water to me. And he just goes, okay. Okay.

[00:46:48] That's the most. My darling. I love you so much. Okay. We love him. But yeah, what an interesting guy. Jeff Postkanzer. And yeah, he's still around. As you said, he's on Mastodon. Still updating hackme.com. I'm sure with the release of the new Coyote V. He's probably gotten a bunch more interest in the website. I hope so.

[00:47:14] And it's just full of curios and gems from a web gone by. And I just I think it's neat. I just think it's neat. It's pretty fucking cool. Pretty fucking the ASCII Earth. Like just. Yeah. And he has one for the moon, too. So he's got the faces of the moon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's so cool. Jerking off. Jerking off. Jacking off. Whatever. Jerking and jacking. Jerking and jacking. Smicking and smacking. He did write an urbanist manifesto.

[00:47:43] And again, this probably would have came out in the late 90s, early 2000s. Talking about here's how you do a bunch of stuff that's going to help the Earth. You know, change parking minimums. Start building subways. You know, raise gas taxes. No density limits. Get rid of light trucks. Bike trailers. Make bike stuff 100% tax deductible. Some personal grievances. Oh, yeah. For sure.

[00:48:10] Identifying scars and marks, which was just a list of all the surgeries and weird stuff that he had. I've got a two inch scar on my right forearm from a crackhead pushing me into a bus shelter at age 54. All right, man. No tonsils or adenoids removed at age nine. All right. Permanent hematoma in left sclera. Black dot middle of lower lip. Weird blue dot on left knee. Had it since puberty. No idea what it's from. Boy, let's see. Photography. Again, these are early photographs.

[00:48:40] Burning Man. Yeah, that's like a Burning Man. And it talks about it. It talks about Lego camp. But yeah, here's some Burning Man photos. 98 in San Francisco. Stilt walkers. A giant Lego kit for which he provides the complete instructions on how to make, by the way. Acme bricks. That's... A mold for 32 times normal size snap together bricks from what appears to be fiberboard pipe and wood glue, dowels, bungee cords. Pretty damn wild.

[00:49:10] And yeah, they look pretty good, too. It's pretty fucking cool. Yeah, like this looks interesting. This man has had a life. Night shot of fucking mannequins. Hell yeah. Time exposure of fire dancers. I mean, this guy knows ball, man. Building shit. Both in computers and in real life. I mean, the Acme bricks. Living life, brother. Gosh. You know, I bet this is a guy who has some really interesting opinions about the naked bike ride. Oh, absolutely.

[00:49:40] He also did... This is my favorite part. The religion and sexual ethics chart goes through the... What he considers the seven major religions, Buddhism, Baptists, Catholics, Methodists, Mormons, Muslims, and Jewish people, and tells you whether certain sex acts, not sex acts, but like sexual situations... Yeah. ...are blessed, acceptable in some cases, neutral, morally acceptable, and condemned.

[00:50:07] For example, in only one is homosexuality morally acceptable, and that is, of course, being a Buddhist. Same-sex blessings in church. Buddhists blessed. Again, Buddhist church. Let's... Okay. Well, it's just making... It's just... I mean, I get it. This appeared in the San Francisco Chronicle in 1994, for Pete's sake. Ha.

[00:50:35] A wild history, just kind of a cool place to look at. There's just a lot of stuff. Photos of the Golden Gate sunsets. Talks about his favorite music, his mom wrote restaurant guides. It's fantastic. Acme.com. It's still around. It's still... Folks! Folks, it's still here! Well, there it is. Acme Chewmaker. What the fuck is that? Make a custom Frank Chew protest sign. Okay. Okay. So, it's photos of Frank Chew. Who fucks Frank Chew? Is he mayor?

[00:51:05] He ran for president. He did... Oh, he was the 12 Galaxies guy. He works... Oh, shit. He lives in Chinatown. Yeah. He always has these nonsensical signs, and they say, like, Rickman, something, something in populations, ascent-evolving, rax drow-rulical. Ken Jeong from Community could play a Frank Chew in a movie. I would love to see it. Yeah. 12 Galaxies. Duxbro-wennical iconoclasts. Yeah.

[00:51:31] So, on the Acme site, people have been able to generate their own nonsensical Frank Chew signs. Very local. Very specific. Jesus. Yeah. It's like if... What's Beetle Bob stealing today? Yeah. Absolutely. And I would also go to that site, probably. What's Beetle Bob stealing today? Remember when there was a Beetle Bob app? I remember Beetle Bob sit down. Yes.

[00:51:55] There was a Beetle Bob app for a second, and I used to joke that it would steal all your money. I mean, if it could get access to your crypto, it probably would. Hey-o! Hey-o! Jeff is cool. Very cool guy. Jeff is great. God made Rivers, but we all make mistakes. It's true. God made Rivers Cuomo, and what a mistake.

[00:52:19] God, my favorite Rivers Cuomo rumor is they would walk around with pizza crust in a fanny pack, and he would just whip them out while talking to people. Not the weirdest thing I can think of. No, the whole half-Japanese girls? Yeah, that part. Yeah, that's the one. Also, the rumors that back in the day when the Weezer would tour Japan, everyone just, River, you go do your own thing. They instinctively knew to just let him do whatever, because, you know, creepers gonna creep, I guess.

[00:52:49] Put a crab in my boxers. And then at the very end, we're having a nice little conversation. She's like, oh, do you want to watch me take a shit? And I'm like, huh? Before I can't say anything, she just pulls her pants down and shits in the bathtub, and I'm just like, oh. Okay. Well, it was nice to meet you. I'm really glad to do it. Yeah, it's great. I hope your sophomore year for your kid in college goes well. Lose my number. I just want to hang out in an onsen for, like, the rest of eternity.

[00:53:18] I've watched some travel videos in Japan, and it's just like, oh, I can just go to, like, this mountain town that has an onsen, and it's been around for hundreds of years, and then I can eat, like, the most delicious yakitori I've ever seen. Fresh katsu every night, and just be in a yukata, and just be, like, hanging out. Well, I've got a tattoo, so I have to go to those special onsens. Oh, yeah. Same. You're right. Actually, my wife does, too. Shit. Okay.

[00:53:46] Yeah, and the kids are going to get, like, a tattoo of their favorite, like, hell of a boss character. Cringe. I'm cringing, is what that sound was. I do love that we fucking bummed out your son, because we were like, no, you can't play Undertale. We're going to play Beale's rock band. No, once we actually turned it on, and he had the other teens here start playing it, he got into it. Sure. But, yeah, he was really like, eh.

[00:54:15] Like, yeah, dude, I love Undertale as well, but guess what? It's like a one-person game. It's a party, homie. Yeah. We've got to get a party game. Speaking of not having a lot of time left, it's time to tell people where to find you on the whole internet. Oh, yeah, before AI. Before they deepfake you into another Charlie Kirk image game. I had a dream last night, it was like the end of the world, and someone ordered a bunch of pizzas, but I showed up too fucking late, and the only pizzas were by the DJ that were

[00:54:43] left, and the DJ looked really fucking chatty, and I'm like, well, I guess I'm just going to fucking die hungry. Yeah, I guess I'm going to starve then. So, if you want to talk to me about what that means, you can find me over on Twitter and Blue Sky at I Shot Gidi Bord, I-S-H-O-T-G-U-I-D-B-O-R-D. You can find me over at Instagram at amusicphotographer. And then over at... The last. The last.

[00:55:11] The only good media website left is in the screwy St. Louis, artsstl.com. Then, if you want to check out my well-curated collection of people with their mouths open, photos of people with their mouths open, I should say, you get over to assholemusicphotographer.com. Jason, where can people talk to you about their favorite Arthur Chu? God. No, very different guy. Very different guy. I don't know, man. I don't know. I don't know from Chus here. Come on, what am I?

[00:55:40] What am I? I don't know. I'm not going to lie. Just from the little bit I've learned about Frank Chu here, I feel like there's a little bit of overlay other than the fact that they're both Asian. Well, if you want to tell me about either Arthur or Frank Chu, you can hit me up on any of the social media sites. I'm going to be at videocrime, V-I-D-E-O-C-R-I-M-E. I am most active on Blue Sky. That is where I am continuing to stalk the new norm live streams and grab whatever images I can from them. It is increasingly disturbing.

[00:56:09] You can also find me as part of a podcast that's not this one. It's called Submitted for the Approval of the Midnight Pals. There I play a fictionalized version of horror icon Stephen King. Two seasons await you there. Wonderful stuff. It is midnight-pals.simplecast.com. You can contact this show in a myriad of ways. My personal favorite is the telephone 314-246-9766. Get in on the drama. Do you like the theme song?

[00:56:34] Do you think Kill Hamster is a god amongst men or a sniveling coward who would abandon a dying man? Let us know. 314-246-9766. 314-ahoy-poo if you like the spell with your telephone. Phone call, yes. Text is great, too. Whatever you want to do. If you don't feel like doing either one of those, you can also shoot us an email. Jason at the number 4 of the number 8 minutes of dogsbarking.com. Brian with a Y at the number 4 of the number 8 minutes of dogsbarking.com. Kick them nasty thoughts.

[00:57:03] You can support the show. Keep us in beer money. Patreon.com slash 48 minutes of dogs. There you can find our post-show hangout called Thanks I Hate It. Thanks I Hate It is coming up on episode number 100. Actually, I think by the time this airs, Thanks I Hate It episode 100 will have already gone out. That is our bonus that we did after Thanks I Hate It number 99, which was with Matt F. Bosler, where we talk about, yes, the title of the episode, by the way, is The Book of Jizz.

[00:57:33] The Max Rebo story. Yeah. And we talked about it because we talked for a while. I mean, that was a good episode. That was so much fun. It's funny to think that like when I was younger, I really knew his brother Brian a lot more. Huh. But Matt was just like, I mean, they're both insane people. Right. And I mean that in the most loving. I was going to say, with love in our hearts, we say this, yes.

[00:57:57] The talk show where they set up like five or six like old TVs with like video game consoles. But yeah, that's such a great, it was such fun having Matt with us. Such a good time. Such a great topic. Good bullshitting with him. What is that? September 19th? September 19th of the Golden Record. Yes. That is going to be a couple days after this episode airs. Get your tickets. They're still available. The Golden Record.

[00:58:26] Search that on the Googles there. You should get a listing for that event. You can get yourself a free t-shirt that says, Matt F. Basler eats a big hot dog. And you also get into the show if you're in the St. Louis area, obviously. Or if you feel like making the drive from wherever you are, by all means, just don't ask me for a place to crash. Yeah. But that is patreon.com slash 48 Minutes Dogs. We're going to have that. And we're also promises, promises. I know that we are going to be doing. We're going to fulfill the punishment here by doing the BME Pain Olympics. Yeah.

[00:58:56] Bring a bucket. Hey. I haven't looked at BME Pain Olympics for like almost 20 years. It will definitely be a trip down memory lane for both of us. So happy. I'm going to call my mom and let her know, Mom, I'm going to be looking at BME Pain Olympics. I'm so proud of you, Brian. I don't know why your mom talks like that in my mind. Are you going to watch a guy? You're going to look at the affected Prince Albert's? Yes, Mom. Oh, I'm so proud. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. Oh, you think they smell like smeg?

[00:59:25] Mom, they all smell like smeg? Come on, Mama. Yeah, come on. Come on, Mama. Don't play me wrong. Patreon.com slash 40 minutes of dogs. All that stuff there for you. All right. It's about time to wrap this up, which means that we're going to say, as we always do. Namaste. Good luck. Give Mommy a good gut fucking 25th Amendment now. Please, for the love of God. Who ate all the pussy? And eat. Eat. The. Knife. There it is.