Episode 86 : Happiness is A Rectilinear Kitten

[00:00:00] You stay the obvious, women are not smart but you can't lead America with women.

[00:00:11] They have no clue about America or you don't think so?

[00:00:17] I'll be darned.

[00:00:19] 48 Minutes Of Dogs Barking, 44 Minutes Of Dogs Maaring

[00:00:49] Yeah, don't just eat don't just shut up.

[00:00:56] You don't just fucking pineapple statue in your front yard.

[00:01:01] You know put a tarp down there and wait there in the yard with some sun tea.

[00:01:05] I'll be around here to fill your holes up.

[00:01:08] You know what you're just showing.

[00:01:09] Don't worry your pretty little head.

[00:01:11] Don't get your full sign that says like free use.

[00:01:14] You're dripping like a cream pie.

[00:01:15] Yeah.

[00:01:16] Wait for eight minutes dogs barking and I'm using the voice from a bit that hasn't happened.

[00:01:21] I'm I'm I'm podcasting from the future.

[00:01:25] How about that?

[00:01:26] How about that Jason?

[00:01:27] Wow.

[00:01:28] That's pretty amazing podcasting from the future.

[00:01:30] Yeah, it's great.

[00:01:31] It turns out no turfs.

[00:01:34] Oh, we we saw them all to the gulag.

[00:01:36] Oh wow.

[00:01:37] We told them we were going to show them the only face even Crowder joke and as my accent

[00:01:42] changes because now that I've gone back.

[00:01:45] Uh huh.

[00:01:46] As of the past to explain this I'm now changing the future.

[00:01:49] It's it's a strange thing to understand, but we were going to show them the only funny

[00:01:54] Stephen Crowder joke and what really was is that we put a captive bolt to their head

[00:01:58] and we press the button.

[00:02:00] That worked.

[00:02:01] Yeah.

[00:02:02] And the jalapenos are spicy again.

[00:02:04] It's fantastic.

[00:02:05] Oh wow.

[00:02:06] It was not the like fantastic.

[00:02:07] Well welcome back from the future.

[00:02:08] I appreciate you coming.

[00:02:09] I explained all that.

[00:02:11] I've changed the future twice now.

[00:02:13] Uh oh.

[00:02:14] My dick small.

[00:02:15] Oh god dammit.

[00:02:17] We were almost there.

[00:02:18] Yeah, we could have had it all.

[00:02:21] All right.

[00:02:22] We saved the future but guess what my peckers you saw.

[00:02:28] It's a sacrifice we had to make for humanity.

[00:02:32] That's how I feel about it.

[00:02:34] I will absolutely sacrifice every soldier at you a Gima that have a respectable six and

[00:02:40] a half hour.

[00:02:42] Why be greedy?

[00:02:43] Five spine.

[00:02:44] It works.

[00:02:45] Spoken like a man.

[00:02:48] Spoken.

[00:02:49] I will say no more on this subject.

[00:02:54] It's like that fucking sips is meme of I made Riley re come five times today.

[00:03:01] Wow, you guys must be getting bored making Riley become those made right.

[00:03:06] I would ever say that.

[00:03:13] Oh boy.

[00:03:16] Anyway, I already off the fire.

[00:03:20] It's okay.

[00:03:21] It's okay.

[00:03:22] That's what edit.

[00:03:23] That's the magic of editing is for.

[00:03:25] Spend six fucking hours a week doing it anyway.

[00:03:28] All right.

[00:03:29] Do you want to talk about the Danville dairy daddy?

[00:03:31] I am not familiar.

[00:03:33] Just saying the name.

[00:03:35] This came to its courtesy of today in tabs doing the Lord's work and compiling.

[00:03:42] Oh, it's a minor league baseball team.

[00:03:45] This is a minor league baseball team in Danville, Virginia, the Danville dairy daddies.

[00:03:54] That is a horny logo.

[00:03:56] It is a very horny logo shirtless buff cow with DD on the belt buckle which I thought

[00:04:03] was daredevils thing.

[00:04:04] Anyway, jeans.

[00:04:05] Yeah, here it's dairy daddies.

[00:04:09] Here are jeans and no shoes.

[00:04:11] No shoes.

[00:04:12] That's filthy.

[00:04:13] Yeah.

[00:04:14] The general manager of the team quoted in sports logos dot net.

[00:04:20] This was a new site for me.

[00:04:21] I've never been to this website before.

[00:04:24] The general manager Austin share quoted as there are families and generations of families

[00:04:30] throughout Danville and southern Virginia that grew up.

[00:04:33] If not on dairy farms up the road from one where they went to school or church or play

[00:04:37] youth sports with dairy farmers or children of dairy farmers and then it shows the logo

[00:04:41] again.

[00:04:43] That cow is horny.

[00:04:44] I'm sorry.

[00:04:45] That cow always named by the way is McCreemy.

[00:04:50] I mean what way interesting way the other your rural heritage.

[00:05:01] Just like if you came from coal country and your minor league team was called ruddy red

[00:05:05] neck.

[00:05:06] Yeah, he's about to finger pop your pinkerton or some shadow.

[00:05:13] Dan Simon of studio Simon the firm responsible for creating the brand the whole concept centers

[00:05:19] around the word daddies.

[00:05:21] The point is this is a smooth bovine.

[00:05:24] You know he's your daddy.

[00:05:26] They're not even they're not even denying it at this.

[00:05:31] In a world gone mad.

[00:05:35] I feel these are all people being I have to assume at least being like sincere.

[00:05:40] Yeah, while creating the character Simon had one of pop culture smoothest talkers in mind

[00:05:44] Joey Tribionny from show friends how you do it as Dan Simon of studio Simon in his best

[00:05:51] Joey voice.

[00:05:52] The only difference is I would like to think maybe this dairy daddy is a little smart

[00:05:56] of the Joey.

[00:05:57] Oh boy.

[00:06:00] He looks like he's ready to give you some of his heavy cream.

[00:06:02] Oh yeah, absolutely.

[00:06:04] Absolutely.

[00:06:05] Yeah and then the other logo is just two D double D's.

[00:06:08] Oh yes, he's looking for.

[00:06:10] Yeah, true.

[00:06:11] He's looking for some some half a pussy.

[00:06:15] It would be like sex tuple D's because cows have the utter right?

[00:06:20] Perhaps in this mythology he's looking for humanoid female cow man.

[00:06:25] Oh okay, okay.

[00:06:27] I got it.

[00:06:28] So horny.

[00:06:29] And what's funny is it's probably one of the least horny things on this episode to come.

[00:06:35] So yeah, it's going to be surprisingly horny episode.

[00:06:38] This is very we become sex fucking buckle in baby.

[00:06:43] I can't even read half this story with a straight face.

[00:06:47] Here I'll do it.

[00:06:48] Go ahead.

[00:06:49] Breaking US Air Force employee charge was giving classifying information to woman he met on

[00:06:54] dating side.

[00:06:55] So the texts that they got in discovery for this, they're insane.

[00:07:00] March 11th.

[00:07:01] Dear, what is shown on the screens of the special room to question marks?

[00:07:05] It is very interesting.

[00:07:06] Here's that March 15th by the way you were first to tell me that NATO members were traveling

[00:07:11] by train and only now already evening.

[00:07:14] This was announced on our news.

[00:07:15] You are my secret informant love.

[00:07:17] How were your meetings successfully?

[00:07:21] March 18th.

[00:07:22] Beloved Dave, do NATO and Biden have a secret plan to help us?

[00:07:26] And it goes on like that.

[00:07:28] Yeah.

[00:07:29] It's great you get information about specified country one.

[00:07:32] First, I hope you will tell me right away you are my secret agent with love.

[00:07:37] Sweet days.

[00:07:38] Supply of weapons is completely classified which is great.

[00:07:41] Which is great.

[00:07:43] My sweet Dave.

[00:07:44] Thanks for the valuable information.

[00:07:47] It's great.

[00:07:48] The two officials from USA are going Kiev.

[00:07:50] Dave, I hope tomorrow NATO will prepare a very unpleasant surprise for Putin.

[00:07:55] Will you tell me?

[00:07:57] He was down bad.

[00:07:58] Down so bad.

[00:07:59] This is so bad.

[00:08:00] Oh my god.

[00:08:01] Sorry for it.

[00:08:02] Jesus Christ.

[00:08:03] And yes this is a real United States district court for the district of Nebraska.

[00:08:08] David Franklin Slater, the airman there.

[00:08:10] Coconut Spearter claimed to be a female living in Ukraine and used an online dating profile

[00:08:16] to communicate with officer Slater and then asking for and receiving national defense

[00:08:23] information.

[00:08:25] So, and you can read the whole thing at justice.gov they've got it all up there.

[00:08:31] I'll put a link in the show description if you want to read it.

[00:08:33] Is this ever heard of a brothel?

[00:08:34] Yeah, something anything but they didn't die.

[00:08:37] I'm fucking take a piece of rye.

[00:08:41] The real liver.

[00:08:43] You know, he's got the liver in there.

[00:08:46] He's got the heart.

[00:08:47] Jesus.

[00:08:48] Anything.

[00:08:49] Mash potatoes.

[00:08:50] Yeah, you've got problem and you need to stop.

[00:08:52] All right.

[00:08:53] Now here's the detail that I think was missing from a lot of these.

[00:08:56] The gentleman is 63.

[00:08:58] Worked in a classified space at US Stratcom held top secret clearance from August 2021

[00:09:03] till April 2022 after retiring as a lieutenant colonel.

[00:09:08] It is alleged that he willfully, improperly and unawful.

[00:09:13] He has been at NDI classified as secret.

[00:09:16] Here's a few reactions from Blue Sky, Kevin Snyder, beloved Dave, I and fellow countrymen

[00:09:22] of specified country one all love M142 high mobility artillery rocket system.

[00:09:28] It is my dream to someday see what in person but they move around so often.

[00:09:32] Will you tell me where I may get a glimpse?

[00:09:34] Oh, that's good.

[00:09:39] Chris Hudson see Hudson 99 on Blue Sky.

[00:09:41] My darling Dave it make me so horny to hear type and location of air defenses.

[00:09:46] I touch goob for description of radar.

[00:09:50] This guy he needed to go and do bottle night.

[00:09:52] Do you know what bottle night is?

[00:09:54] It's price on dumb.

[00:09:55] It is extremely dumb.

[00:09:56] It is gentleman named Colin Rutherford on Twitter.

[00:10:00] Do you know what a bottle night is?

[00:10:02] No Colin tell me.

[00:10:03] Probably not because my GFI invented during a 2023 blizzard in Buffalo, New York.

[00:10:08] We lock our phones away turn the TV off.

[00:10:11] Each of us grab a ball of wine and talk.

[00:10:14] That's it.

[00:10:15] We simply talk and enjoy each other's presence.

[00:10:17] We live together but easy to miss out on quality time.

[00:10:20] What do you think?

[00:10:21] Do you have other methods for enjoying quality time with your partner?

[00:10:26] Yeah I call ignoring each other on the couch, doom scrolling.

[00:10:31] Yeah.

[00:10:32] Watching a TV show you're not really paying attention either one of you.

[00:10:36] I'm actually surprised.

[00:10:38] Fair enough.

[00:10:41] He invented getting buzzed and hanging out with his girlfriend.

[00:10:44] I'm not that bad.

[00:10:45] It's so stupid.

[00:10:46] I also would sometimes go hang out with a friend and we both would just clear a ball of

[00:10:52] wine.

[00:10:53] Yeah.

[00:10:54] Like this isn't anything.

[00:10:55] You didn't make this up?

[00:10:56] This isn't new.

[00:10:57] The reaction of course has been like yeah, I invented hanging out with girls.

[00:11:02] The Buddha at Tim Allen Italian which the image is so perfect in my mind but yes Tim Allen

[00:11:09] Italian on Twitter there.

[00:11:12] I invented talking to my girlfriend.

[00:11:14] We both have to get hammered though or it doesn't work.

[00:11:17] Amazing.

[00:11:18] Which I mean, I get it.

[00:11:21] Some people are not great.

[00:11:22] So before we move on.

[00:11:24] The tie into the military individual giving information they shouldn't.

[00:11:31] Hello, the previous subject of this segment from a couple months ago.

[00:11:37] Young man who gave away secrets to a bunch of 14 year olds he was trying to impress on

[00:11:46] a discord channel called thug shaker central central is getting 16 years.

[00:11:52] Oh boy.

[00:11:53] For I was like a world of tanks discord probably was that's where they tend to go yeah.

[00:11:59] 16 years for discord ship posting.

[00:12:02] My God.

[00:12:03] See he's the one who needs a bottle night right upside the head.

[00:12:08] So Brian, I understand you as not doing over the weekend doing part two I should say

[00:12:14] it.

[00:12:15] It fucking rule.

[00:12:16] Yeah.

[00:12:17] Yeah.

[00:12:18] But what we got here.

[00:12:19] You ever seen a white boy do this?

[00:12:23] That's such a great way.

[00:12:25] Great way.

[00:12:26] The preface this.

[00:12:27] The fucking rules so much the fucking fremen on the hoverboard.

[00:12:34] Fucking sandworm through the lobby of the AMC.

[00:12:41] And I mean his you know, he's still suit is pretty well tucked there.

[00:12:45] Yeah.

[00:12:46] Yeah.

[00:12:47] It looks it looks.

[00:12:48] So the only thing I have ever seen weighing for a movie that can compare to this Friday night

[00:12:55] screen of Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire out in the St. Charles.

[00:12:59] And there was a young girl that was I want to say she was five years old that'd be on

[00:13:05] the high end of how would I have them and she would be saying actually he's two other girls

[00:13:10] and me and a friend were just kind of like just bullshitting like looking around me

[00:13:14] that person got weird you know, that kind of just like that people watching huh like

[00:13:20] one there you know, like when they're like their parents throughout the moffers like

[00:13:23] he's trying to fucking pass the time and this little girl just straight projectile

[00:13:28] vomits I want to say half a fucking container of popcorn right onto the fucking carpet

[00:13:35] and the two girls standing next to her.

[00:13:38] Just like look at and go like that's gross and just walk the fuck away and that little

[00:13:45] girl is just standing there in front of her fucking vomit.

[00:13:48] Right.

[00:13:49] A frozen problem not sure what to do.

[00:13:51] Yeah.

[00:13:52] I don't know who these two teenage girls were.

[00:13:57] And watching like people walk and just step in the vomit and like it takes about 15 minutes

[00:14:06] for any real resolution.

[00:14:07] I'm like where's this kid's parents?

[00:14:09] Right.

[00:14:10] Like what the fuck is happening.

[00:14:12] What is happening.

[00:14:13] I saw like this couple that were like on a date and shoot the young lady was wearing like

[00:14:19] sandals, low sandals and a dress that touched the ground.

[00:14:23] And she dragged the fucking I guess what with the hem of the dress through the fucking

[00:14:28] puke.

[00:14:29] Oh and realize I guess as she was walking through like hey it's kind of catching I could

[00:14:33] feel down like my legs and looked at and just kind of like huh and this kept walking

[00:14:39] eventually like a cop came over and was just like so what's yeah what's happening here

[00:14:43] and then the door is open we went in but this is the only if I saw that that was

[00:14:49] me about the same level.

[00:14:51] Yeah.

[00:14:52] Wow this is what's going on.

[00:14:53] I would be hype as fuck I mean like yes yes let's go and we'll be talking about we

[00:14:58] will more in the breath meant Lisa LaGabe that's you know I don't know if I did a

[00:15:03] job pull the trees wow wow wow like that shy hallowed I mean wow shy of the was that

[00:15:13] Sicilian some very weird racist space racist theory about space Sicilian space Sicilian

[00:15:23] wow you're right I'm not that's novel wow what make culture you people from destroying

[00:15:33] the main the the the the the the monoculture my birthday gangbang folks by Ella I Ella

[00:15:46] yeah what a fun story this was a quick read with lots of thrills it really is so the

[00:15:54] basic story was according to her Twitter account that's at Illa girl AE LLA underscore

[00:16:00] girl for my birthday my partner and some friends organize a huge gangbang for me with

[00:16:06] 42 attendees and then in my favorite move so far she broke it down in a chart it was

[00:16:15] here's how the event was organized exit survey statistics and so forth what was like

[00:16:21] for me psychologically which was also an interesting read but boy the the chart really

[00:16:28] kills me she put out a survey 1,604 people responded 828 failed the auto filter right 776

[00:16:39] passed the auto filter 328 failed the manual filter they didn't contact 197 so it left 251 so

[00:16:48] from there they rejected 21 25 of them were already friends then got to skip the interview

[00:16:53] and get invited 83 did an interview got invited 143 people didn't respond you put

[00:16:59] your name in for a gangbang and you don't respond to an email sorry I did you know

[00:17:05] we think like we would learn with ticket master like don't take don't take your

[00:17:11] opportunity for granted no yeah check that email so 56 of them did pay for a ticket

[00:17:19] I believe the ticket was supposed to cover certain costs for the venue but not yeah so 56 of

[00:17:24] got a ticket 13 of them canceled so 43 did STI test one didn't show so 42 passed STI

[00:17:33] tests showed up five of them didn't even bang the birthday girl that's weird enough

[00:17:40] to begin with 37 maybe the buffet was just so good this must get chilly is fan oh I'm

[00:17:46] so full they got caught up hanging out with their friends and then by the time they look

[00:17:50] up it's over oh shit where were we here for something we're in a robe we got a

[00:17:54] day for our own got got red sauce all right what oh that was today I was I was

[00:18:02] fuck man I just hadn't seen this guy since high school right that was right now well

[00:18:08] what do you have another minute or so 37 of those people penetrated the birthday

[00:18:16] girl 17 came in her five came in a fluffer 15 didn't come at all which I find is

[00:18:23] a sus I mean I mean sometimes you're just happy to be there that's true it is a little nerve

[00:18:29] wrecking doing any kind of public sex stuff so I get that and and boy you know 22 out of 15

[00:18:37] it's not a bad average the amount of time someone has willfully told me about how they they

[00:18:43] fuck their partner or their date yeah at the fucking zoo yeah that's a little that's

[00:18:49] a weird one lot of kids well it's usually like a closed thing like a like a Christmas party

[00:18:54] or something like that like something in the evening well thank god yeah because otherwise

[00:18:58] I would be a little that'd be a little weird I'm sure there's a couple places I mean

[00:19:02] there's a couple places the art museum sure they wanted to if you if you had the presence

[00:19:07] of mind and you took the necessary precautions I'm sure you could lock a bathroom or there's

[00:19:12] probably a handicap bathroom something like that you know or well make someone walk like

[00:19:16] they got cerebral palsy family bathroom we're gonna make one in that bathroom yeah but that's

[00:19:23] just the the tip of the iceberg is the data which I always find so fascinating this chart by

[00:19:29] the way has been making the rounds on LinkedIn but with all the text changed to be about like doing

[00:19:35] a startup yeah but the prankster who did it just left came in a fluffer on there

[00:19:43] and so I saw this on LinkedIn I was like wait this chart looks really familiar and then

[00:19:50] I saw on the right hand side came in a fluffer I'm like you got around the content filter

[00:19:58] because they didn't know what that meant not only did that miss a yellow have a really

[00:20:02] happy birthday but also they made robes the robes that I went to the yellow bday gangbang and all

[00:20:08] I got was this bathrobe and also to fuck a porn star which is a great gift I love it maybe

[00:20:14] those five guys were just I just came for the bathroom they showed up they got the sick bathroom

[00:20:19] you know what like I really don't need to take the same further it's like when I saw it's like

[00:20:23] when I saw run the jewels at the firebird and day for the run the jewel set because the kill

[00:20:28] a mic set was really good but the LPS set was so fucking good world you know what I'm good I don't

[00:20:34] need to see this okay that spot came out for a tougher colder killer oh so I mean like yeah I just

[00:20:41] I was like well it's not gonna get any better than this I'm just gonna chill the fuck out yeah quit

[00:20:46] while you're ahead yeah I have no I have no regrets so maybe if I show up to a gangbang and got

[00:20:52] an incredibly good piece of swag you know it's like well this is it's not gonna get any bag anything

[00:20:59] past this is going to be disappointment yeah I suppose so yeah for someone so she did have a

[00:21:06] a cadre of fluffers the this photo here the fluffer is in a pre gangbang huddle 15 people in some

[00:21:13] staff organizer or fluffer capacity the only people who got paid to be there were the security guards

[00:21:18] it was a substance free party we did not provide alcohol though someone there did pass out by agra

[00:21:23] a lot of people arrived they're already on by agra one of the attendees also brought stickers

[00:21:28] to hand out it's the I went to I L is it's the officer yes yes and all I got was this crappy sticker

[00:21:36] that here it looks like at Glock underscore 40 the entire orgy cost $3,335 with most of the cost

[00:21:45] going to venue robes food and security guards tickets to attend were free but had optional donations

[00:21:52] 81% paid something 19% attended for free those cheap skates 10 other women attended two to help

[00:22:00] out while looking hot uh coachek at a point of contact for the other women and eight fluffers

[00:22:07] we had way more fluffer interests than anticipated by the end we were turning away women trying to get

[00:22:12] in which is an absurd position to be in she says I think more women than you might think actually

[00:22:17] do want to participate in gangbang sludgery it might just not admit it publicly or feel safe enough

[00:22:23] at most events to inhabit their full sexual expression some of the guys were experienced but one

[00:22:29] of the guys was a virgin the event was not kind towards men's penises lots of men had trouble

[00:22:36] getting hard which is deeply understandable because practically for them the experience was

[00:22:40] like being a breeder in a cow pen the way it worked was a few men volunteers held me down on a bad

[00:22:45] and a line of guys approached once a guy was sufficiently hard he'd come bang me summoned by

[00:22:49] organizers yelling anyone got a hard cock lying yourselves up by hardness they had to jack

[00:22:56] themselves off then they got three minutes to attempt to come while banging me while I was

[00:23:01] closely surrounded by other men who are preventing me from biting or kicking anyone for kink reasons

[00:23:07] this is never explained later in the piece this is the only reference to this we have

[00:23:11] an exit survey we asked which fluffers people engage with it looks like fluffer b

[00:23:17] took home the prize hand stuff mount stuff vaginal and just under 10 people said I came with her

[00:23:25] the statistical dad just really drives a home it really is fun with data it's like I fucking love

[00:23:30] science i guess actually for this type of thing i do yeah one of them who brought the stickers was a

[00:23:36] virgin we asked if he could celebrate his first time he said yes the wackier the better so we had

[00:23:41] him go first he literally said lee roe jankins as he entered and popped confetti over him when finished

[00:23:48] and i signed a personalized gift for him he was also wearing a heart rate monitor and shared the

[00:23:55] data with me yeah once a man had sex and he drew a tally mark on my leg with a sharpie signed the

[00:24:01] guest book it turns out lou ruin sharpies so yeah they got a they got a sticker

[00:24:09] blue for banging gold if they came which allowed them access to a third room where they could

[00:24:12] continue banging and coming in fluffers if they wanted and if the fluffers were down

[00:24:17] men who weren't participating got to hang out in a main space or in a hot tub where at least some

[00:24:21] networking occurred i heard one man say i didn't expect to meet another yc founder here you also had

[00:24:28] food a small array of board games although i don't think any of the board games actually got used

[00:24:35] wonderful if you uh interested in the experience uh it's such a such a fun sexy story

[00:24:43] well this is sexy isn't life interesting it really is there we go there we go

[00:24:49] local man beats homeless sexual allegations by grinding on a metal pole freestyle is tank top and

[00:24:55] damn cops this originally at truck driver pleb man cleanse up railing to avoid using

[00:25:05] woke i figure where this is i want to say it's Seattle but i'm not 100 percent

[00:25:09] it's like Seattle or like Montreal or something yeah he's really going for it spreading that

[00:25:15] busy on the street freestyle i think my favorite tweet referencing this was uh that's right back

[00:25:23] up that twink that twink asked for daddy of the stairs it's just it's a it's a set of stairs

[00:25:30] set up to look like a pride flag and this guy rather than walking on the woke stairs

[00:25:37] decides to uh bust it down sexual style the stradling the the stairs and using primarily using

[00:25:45] the motion of his hips yeah to uh go up the banister yeah definitely not beating the uh

[00:25:52] stralling it very hard when he got to the landing in the middle yeah we have to go full horizontal

[00:25:57] yeah yeah it's just uh i fell as it is a cave of woke upstairs

[00:26:04] i the funny thing too is i bet this guy here putting his man pussy on these on this banister that's

[00:26:10] that gay people have to touch now yeah yeah uh what does that even mean i those are just words

[00:26:17] that came out my mouth anyways it's fine it's probably this guy has also probably got some really bad

[00:26:22] takes on the whole like uh Sydney Swini discourse right now going on the internet we don't have boobs

[00:26:27] anymore because of wokeness but look at this trick look at them can't who fucking cares i thought

[00:26:32] i thought the argument was if you found Sydney Swini attractive that you were some kind of like

[00:26:37] like gay oh i can't mind it her mugin no i thought all the dis the discourse all the discourse

[00:26:43] i read is basically that like she's like over sexualized and in a way that implies like a lower

[00:26:51] intelligence that you're like a degenerate no that's okay well fucking i don't know man i'm just

[00:26:57] gonna say like she's an attractive one with a big rack what do you want out of life come on

[00:27:02] it's just get it honest like it's the same thing too with like the billy eyelash stuff like there's

[00:27:07] that photo that we viral a couple years ago her like in the tank top she's not really wearing a

[00:27:11] makeup and like wow you know like really like this really negative energy and i'm just kind of

[00:27:18] thinking like you know when i was like 19 if yeah if someone like that looked like that talk to me

[00:27:24] at like a party or a show i i would have thought i won the god damn fucking lot i'd be staring

[00:27:29] at the ground mumbling i would know what to do what great life you must have her report that you

[00:27:34] have right now because the discourse i heard on the Sydney Swini side was that she's a perfect

[00:27:40] Aryan princess and that she's the antidote to all these woke people so it was like i've the

[00:27:47] exact opposite that like you have like a simple african mind if you are huh because of her

[00:27:52] exaggerating physique yeah yeah interesting yeah very interesting i don't know what fucking

[00:27:59] twer you been using this she's the i guess she's like Schrodinger's bimbo yeah but she's not like well

[00:28:06] she's like no i know and that's like a really bad cool shit bad choice of words i understand that

[00:28:12] and i know not seeing you for you people i know that people really enjoy it she's one the better

[00:28:18] parts of it really okay yeah i mean there's a lot i can't say i've honestly seen anything she's

[00:28:23] in and and you know madame web okay i don't think anyone's got no and that was the joke she made

[00:28:29] on starting it live is that yeah you may have seen me in this and this but you sure haven't seen

[00:28:33] me in madame web and like yeah because nobody saw that move very conventionally attracted woman

[00:28:38] yeah and it seems really weird that like at the hold you know is it gay to like hot broads

[00:28:44] is so yes fucking weird yes it is it's very it's so gay that it comes around it comes back around

[00:28:51] to being straight it's that gay it gets like off the chart it's just like how we find value

[00:28:57] in things aesthetically emotionally is so physically how it's so fucking weird these days it's

[00:29:05] doubly weird because it's like she's an attractive woman what do you what do you mean like

[00:29:11] there's something wrong with me if i find her attractive or me finding her attractive means i'm

[00:29:15] not seeing Jason like wait how about just she's an attractive woman that's it it's not a greater

[00:29:22] statement for all of mankind it's dizzying because yeah we each saw two sides of a very different

[00:29:29] argument about the same person on the same TV appearance what the fuck this is literally how

[00:29:37] atomized we're getting yeah it's fucking i love like it's just like i think she's good actress

[00:29:45] she happens to be very attractive great it's just so like it's very weird is it can't we just

[00:29:50] like notice and move on like yeah do we have to be weird about it some people need to jack off more

[00:29:55] and some people concerned way less yeah for sure are some people just i don't know these stick

[00:30:00] their hand the ground they're fucking go offline from what do i say uh uh pull your uh bomb

[00:30:06] lip over your head and swallow yeah that's a world of better place it's a Walter Mathau are you

[00:30:13] yeah Walter Math I saw my grandfather talk really okay i got a muster breaches because i remember

[00:30:20] Walter Mathau saying that line in grumpy old men that's why yeah grumpy old men was my grandpa and

[00:30:27] all the other same white dudes in the neighborhood oh very very much the same a lot of the

[00:30:32] these guys who were like born and raised and Ferguson and they're just cantankerous old dude

[00:30:37] wearing the fucking like valveline trucker cat doll anyways is it so i think the horniness is

[00:30:43] gonna be over for a little bit we'll come back well there'll be more but we're in a reactive

[00:30:49] mode yeah we're gonna take a bit of a horny pause and go into the least sexy thing we're gonna

[00:30:55] talk about today that's right folks crypto scam oh the week you're listening to 48 minutes of

[00:31:03] dog barking the podcast and now it's time for the crypto scam of the week Brian are you familiar with

[00:31:10] Lena network i've heard of it once or twice apparently they had a new token launch recently called

[00:31:19] candy this here at the coin telegraph zoltan var die let me just stop right for a second zoltan

[00:31:27] fuck yes that's an amazing name zoltan wasn't that the the machine that tom hangs his character

[00:31:35] wish that he was big and the movie big was like zoltan i can't remember zoltar it was zoltar

[00:31:41] i never seen big oh it's fantastic penny marshals good 80s classic so yes zoltan writing here

[00:31:47] recently launched liquidity protocol leanon networks candy token fell over 87% after the protocol

[00:31:56] suffered a rug poll of 753 ether worth 2.9 million dollars at publication time which was

[00:32:06] 10 hours ago yeah a theory and still around 3 800 so yeah so yes it says on chain data showed that

[00:32:14] the leanon network deployer adress had transferred 753 ether to an address associated with the okay x

[00:32:21] exchange march 6th at 230 in the am the rug poll occurred a few hours before leanon network

[00:32:28] announced that it officially renounced the ownership of the token contract okay we have officially

[00:32:37] yeah this here uh lean a ifo launching on twitter important announcement we've taken a given set

[00:32:43] forward in ensuring our projects trust and de-strialization we've officially renounced ownership

[00:32:48] of our token contract this move is all about fostering a safer and more community driven environment

[00:32:54] making things right the way it should be doesn't that strike you as odd renouncing the

[00:33:01] because to me that sounds like that means you can't no one has authority to make modifications

[00:33:08] to the contract so if there's like a loophole or something like that it's very hard to fix

[00:33:12] the exploit huh yeah it seems like a really weird move and I guess maybe they're doing that because

[00:33:20] they already are aware of this exploit or this rug poll that's happening I don't know they

[00:33:24] released 850 ether for the initial farm offering which is different from an initial coin offering

[00:33:31] I know ended march 3rd the candy token went live march 6th before going into the toilet

[00:33:38] I think that we had a graph up here somewhere yeah there it is there's your all-time chart 8 o'clock

[00:33:45] this morning and then shoot like straight fucking that just within you know 15 minutes tops I mean

[00:33:54] that's it's an hour there so yeah that's like five ten minutes that's very that's very bad

[00:34:01] with about 60 minutes of a bit launching it poked about 20% right then just immediately those

[00:34:07] sides and there was a little bit of a dead cat bounce and then it went back down and then it

[00:34:13] has been doing that little little worm down to the bottom here we got actually that's a really

[00:34:17] healthy chart that's very bullish that's a solidation period and the longer it coils man the bigger

[00:34:23] that that blow up is going to be I see see man you really see when you look in for charts you gotta

[00:34:28] look for that potential you see a rug you see a rug token with no value yeah I see a fucking

[00:34:34] juicy 5x weight that happened this is not financial advice by the way no no this is how people talk

[00:34:41] oh yeah man we're gonna we're gonna buy the dip no all that fun stuff I love you're buying the dip

[00:34:47] you can probably keep on buying because I don't still go and I mean there's people still

[00:34:52] fucking trade Luna yeah FTX like it's that part FT yeah it's fucking wild to see that shit pop

[00:35:00] up on Twitter like they're in court they're in court about this being full of shit and you're like

[00:35:08] yeah I'm buying the dip for what reason I know it's probably all just a mind game and their you

[00:35:16] know sunk cost or whatever and they're just like working through it or something but it's still

[00:35:21] the grasp that some of this shit has on people is just just just stressing I think is the word I was

[00:35:28] looking for you can't be saved there's no reaching you you've gone beyond beyond you you hit a point

[00:35:35] where the delusion is stronger than reality make no mistake I am also thinking that it's an

[00:35:41] election year so you know those things kind of have a common theme sure all right your age

[00:35:48] talk about today's main time oh my god I'm I ever we're gonna talk to you today about a massive

[00:35:55] hoax perpetrated on the internet a hoax so big that the FBI got involved yes those guys it's called

[00:36:03] the bonsai kitten brand the website was created in the year 2000 October 30th in particular

[00:36:12] and it purported to be a gentleman from MIT he went by the name of dr. Michael Wong Chang

[00:36:23] the old type of we too low yeah and cousin of holy fuck yeah and something wall something

[00:36:30] bang ding how the website here it is in all of its 2000 era glory dedicated to preserving the

[00:36:39] long lost art by modification and house pets that's right the introductory page is this at only a few

[00:36:47] weeks of age kittens bones have not yet hardened and become osseus they're extremely soft and springy

[00:36:55] in fact if you take a weak old kitten and throw it to the floor it will actually bounce we do not

[00:37:01] recommend that you try this at home the kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to

[00:37:06] retrieve as well as covered in unsightly household dust however the flexibility of the kitten's

[00:37:12] skeleton means that if the bones were gently warped at this very early age they can be molded

[00:37:17] into any desired shape at bonsai kitten we achieved this by placing the kitten into a rigid vessel

[00:37:23] soon after birth and allowing the young cat to grow out its formative time entirely within this

[00:37:29] container the kitten essentially grows into the shape of the vessel once the cat is fully developed

[00:37:34] it is removed or the vessel broke to remove it providing the lovable furry pet you've always wanted

[00:37:40] but it remains in the shape you've always dreamed of there is virtually no limit to the eventual

[00:37:47] shape of your pet now if that opening paragraph didn't clue you in

[00:37:52] this is full of shit this is not a thing that you can do folks i know a lot of your veterinarians but

[00:38:01] but you know that's not a thing it gets weirder though um Brian he went to take this

[00:38:09] practical considerations at bonsai kitten we're happy to take care of all the little details

[00:38:14] and simply deliver you a fully shaped kitten according your specifications however for those who

[00:38:19] have applied foreign received the appropriate bonsai kit culture permits from the US government

[00:38:26] we are happy to provide details and procedure to those who want to start from scratch oh there are

[00:38:32] three main requirements must be considered when making a bonsai kitten requirement one error

[00:38:37] this ought to go without saying but you'd be surprised how many amateurs forget the detail

[00:38:42] wind up with a cold hard kitty in the morning if the containment vessel sealed you must drill error

[00:38:48] holes prior to kitten insertion a diamond drill is recommended for glass vessels

[00:38:55] serration two food and water especially if the kitten's head is being shaped one of the most

[00:39:00] versatile applications of the bonsai kitten it will not be able to eat or drink normally

[00:39:06] most common solution is another hole in the container with a feeding tube to the kitten's mouth

[00:39:10] where liquid fluid slurry can provide both nutrient and hydration requirements

[00:39:17] serration number three waste removal left to its own devices the kitten would quickly fill

[00:39:24] its vessel with his own urine and feces lean to a certain sickness and death not to mention

[00:39:30] the inevitably unpleasant appearance and odor the best solution is to seal the kitten's anus

[00:39:35] with a superglue parier to insertion and then insert a wire tube or waste tube I should say

[00:39:41] through a third hole in the vessel as the kitten's body is still developing a natural rectal

[00:39:47] rectal the verticulum will soon form around the tube I guess that's a good enough way to say

[00:39:53] that word I never know they're divert to eat them for divert to eat you lump die will soon form

[00:40:02] around the tube which can be drained in any convenient fashion it's just like a kitty colossomy bag

[00:40:12] so they joke about that there's a license that you have to get from the US government

[00:40:18] to grow your own bonsai kitten here is the following if you have your license to grow your

[00:40:23] own don't hesitate to contact us for assistance our staff are always ready to help you should not

[00:40:27] attempt these procedures without proper training and licenses bonsai cat will not be held responsible

[00:40:32] for the results of any attempts to apply any procedures described on this website and that's just

[00:40:37] the intro right what's fucked up to me is that someone saw this and said yeah this is real

[00:40:45] yeah yeah this is real the gallery yeah here is a please look at the following pages to see some

[00:40:52] of our works in progress here is a black and white kitten and rectal linear glass freshly inserted

[00:40:59] it's literally just someone's cat crawled into a glass container but then they're acting like oh

[00:41:05] yeah after insertion feeding tube not yet inserted ventilation they're pretending as though this

[00:41:11] is real rear aspect showing initial swelling reaction from the super glue despite it being completely

[00:41:18] absurd despite it being absolutely the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard people took it

[00:41:24] seriously I think the reaction to it is far more absurd than the site itself they do have a sales

[00:41:29] page where it says uh we don't have a catalog of pre-manufactured kittens every bonsai kitten is

[00:41:37] original the closest to providing off the rat kitties is to provide example vessel shapes for those

[00:41:43] wanting ideas of what to request and so they say we're proud to offer a variety of containment

[00:41:49] options and paraphernalia for the home enthusiast containment variations include rectal linear vessels

[00:41:55] earns and curved forms tubular constrictions antagonistic animal shapes and a space frame or wire

[00:42:02] frame and also including shoe horns glass drills oh calcium sequestering agents muscle relaxants

[00:42:12] oh super glue yeah the bonsai kitten supply depot links at the bottom there do have a list of

[00:42:21] the vessels the glass cylinder familiar to anyone who has watched one guy one jar recently

[00:42:29] yeah so obviously taking the piss went a bit too far because people went nuts people just

[00:42:36] completely lost their fucking minds about this thing the chronicle of higher education information

[00:42:41] technology Wednesday February 21st 2001 pretty soon we'll forget about bonsai kitten I created at MIT

[00:42:51] bonsai kitten website stirs animal lovers passions the American society for the prevention

[00:42:56] of cruelty to animals in New York has determined that a website showing kittens being stuffed into

[00:43:01] glass containers is only a joke but the only people who seem to be laughing are the Massachusetts

[00:43:07] Institute of Technology students who created it the site which has been online since December

[00:43:13] allegedly portrays a kitten being grown in a small rectal linear glass container after being

[00:43:19] injected with volume not true I think they said something like muscle relaxants funny or not she

[00:43:26] continues the site has been investigated at least twice and has prompted hundreds of people to

[00:43:32] write to MIT asking that the site be shut down and its creators be expelled Jeffrey sloop a lawyer

[00:43:41] and a firm that represents MIT would not comment on the site or release the names of the students

[00:43:47] nor would the site's webmaster respond to an email request for those names yeah they've been

[00:43:53] repeatedly subpoenaed by the Massachusetts Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals

[00:43:58] here it is MIT's network manager Jeffrey Schiller said that a students on campus computer was

[00:44:04] initially the server for the site and that at the time lawyers for the institution found nothing

[00:44:09] illegal about the site it's a joke a sick joke mr. Schiller said adding that the kittens depicted

[00:44:17] on the site are not actually shoved into glass jars he said a student created site told him that the

[00:44:22] kittens quote can walk into the jar and walk out the jar is bigger than the kitten it's an illusion

[00:44:31] and you'd think and you'd think this would be the end of it but oh no

[00:44:37] ground zero joe salausky that's just actually two days prior tribune media services

[00:44:43] have you ever wanted a cat but worried that their 2 damn cuddly they sure are graceful and

[00:44:48] their little round faces are cute as the dickens but wouldn't they be even more appealing if

[00:44:52] they were shaped like a cube such as the twisted dream behind bonsai kitten it's a joke of course

[00:44:58] continues a straight faced spoof designed to pray on gullible cat lovers but there are plenty of

[00:45:05] people who aren't laughing including a few wayward agents from the FBI so yes these sites

[00:45:14] principal creators appear grad students at MIT said they've been targeted by a grand jury subpoena

[00:45:20] demanding information about bonsai kitten.com on behalf of the FBI I can't imagine what crime

[00:45:26] they might be investigating but it must be more important than tracking down all those international

[00:45:32] terrorists and child pornographers the agency is supposed to be prosecuting now an important

[00:45:39] thing to think about this is February so of 2001 so you think the FBI was too distracted

[00:45:47] by bonsai kitten to prevent nigh eleven yes

[00:45:54] that is my prevailing theory I have to read all this just that they were too busy shaking down some

[00:46:00] MIT students folks if this doesn't guarantee a saspad on q and on anonymous nothing will that

[00:46:08] is my firm belief right now as the FBI was distracted by bonsai kitten you're you're really baking

[00:46:13] this here I am baking in real time as we go I'm having a moment here Massachusetts society for

[00:46:23] the protection of animals mscpa even went so far as to say to internet service providers don't carry

[00:46:33] the site pull it off the web they're quoted here as the rising number it's it's among the

[00:46:38] rising number of websites that promote glamorize or trivialize cruelty to animals the good doctor

[00:46:47] Michael Wong Chang is quoted in this piece of course it is a pseudonym but I originally expected far

[00:46:55] more people to understand the satire immediately from our incoming email it seems fewer than one

[00:47:01] percent of respondents understand so the fact that it's so staggering that this got such a big

[00:47:09] reaction it's a shitty website number one it looks like shit it looks like somebody coded it

[00:47:16] by hand which was probably the case 2001 it's fairly well written that's fine has a two on two

[00:47:23] number now I'm dying to know if this number is still in service there is there is a phone number

[00:47:28] on this website the one thing I did not do today is try to call it bionic you're going to try to call

[00:47:34] you I'm going to Google it first see if it's like oh this is used by like a fucking carpet clean

[00:47:40] business I don't know if we really need to harass them what have you discovered better business

[00:47:49] bureau entry for the bonsai kitten yeah what does the BBB have to say about bonsai kitten there's

[00:47:59] zero entries here it just says this business is not BBB accredited okay it's got NR which I guess

[00:48:08] means no we're not rated not rated the contact information does go to a PO box in New York state

[00:48:14] okay so two one two that's a New York phone number yeah so here's some entries from slash dot

[00:48:20] oh boy okay all right used to be a bastion of this sort of news all right I don't really know

[00:48:27] what this post has to say but the comments are really interesting BSOD bitch wrote on February 9th

[00:48:38] 2001 relatively same time frameworks we're speaking here I recently learned the art of bonsai

[00:48:45] kitten taught to be my grandfather tie my chew no method is allowed me to develop many of my own

[00:48:53] my primary method is what I call the spider kitten in this method the kittens feed are tied with

[00:48:58] four nylon string the end of each string is stretched to a point in which four small five foot

[00:49:04] high post reside there are four post toll for each leg the kittens paws are tied to each of these

[00:49:11] posts for a period of three weeks however you must tighten the strings a little each day to

[00:49:15] avoid the legs from growing above the kittens heads proper feed is required after a three week

[00:49:21] period is up the kitten is set free we have successfully grown kittens with legs up to 40 inches per leg

[00:49:29] the cat can almost now stand face-to-face with its master it is very painless process for the kitten

[00:49:35] and I hope these cats will be adored and loved in your home warning these kittens are not recommended

[00:49:41] to people with large quantities of furniture this is due to the fact that these kittens have an

[00:49:45] unusual way of marking their territory with their claws we also recommend that you keep these

[00:49:50] kittens on leash for they tend to run very fast and they are hard to catch

[00:49:54] commenters on slash dot getting into it and expanding the lore if you will not to go all matte

[00:50:03] pad on you but the lore so I guess this thing is that fb i had something called carnivore and they

[00:50:07] change to the DCS 1000 okay drag g-r-a rg posted February 9th 2001 alas scams are a copy of the

[00:50:17] grunt master 6000 so this will obviously be this was obviously their fallback by the way

[00:50:22] doesn't DCS bear scary oral resummer to dcss I don't know what that means dcss I believe was the

[00:50:30] decryption algorithm for dvds so you could rip a dvd if you could break dcss so snopes always the

[00:50:42] ballwork of these sort of things of course rates it falls here is a few of the chain letters connected

[00:50:50] to this to anyone with love and respect for life in new york there is a japanese who sells bonsai

[00:50:57] kittens first of all there is a japanese wow in new york just the one one Japanese sounds like fun

[00:51:06] huh not okay you know it's 2001 humor not the all caps which makes it sound like it's it's fun

[00:51:14] to do it yeah put a jab put a cat into a bottle it's fun not these animals are squeezed into a bottle

[00:51:22] they're urine and feces are removed through probes what what they feed them with a kind of tube

[00:51:28] they feed them chemicals keep their bones soft so the kittens grow into the shape of the bottle

[00:51:33] these animals will stay there to each eir as long as they live they can't walk or mover wash

[00:51:39] themselves bonsai kittens are becoming a fashion in new york and asia what please sign this email

[00:51:46] and protest against these tortures if you receive an email with over 500 names please send a copy

[00:51:51] to anachaca at hotmail.com that's also how you know it's 2001 hotmail email addresses from there

[00:51:58] this protest will be sent to us and mexican animal protection organizations okay chain a chain

[00:52:05] mail a chain email to sign a petition to take a set a fake website off the internet forever one who

[00:52:14] loves animals all caps yeah a site that we were able to shut down last year has returned we have

[00:52:20] tried to shut it down again a japanese man york breeds and sells kittens they're called bonsai cats

[00:52:27] this would sound cute if it weren't kittens that were put into little bottles after being given

[00:52:31] a muscle relax and then locked up for the rest of their lives the cats are fed through a straw

[00:52:36] and have a small tube for their feces the skeleton of the cat will take the form of the ball as

[00:52:41] the kitten grows the cat never gets the opportunity to move there uses a original and exclusive

[00:52:47] souvenirs they're the latest trends in york china indisia and new zealon if you think you can handle

[00:52:53] visit htps colon for slash for slash ww dot bonsai kitten dot com and have a look at the methods being

[00:53:03] used to put these little kittens into bottles the petition these five hundred names so please put

[00:53:08] your name on it copy the text into a new email and put your name on the bottom then send it to

[00:53:13] everyone you know if you know as there are five hundred names list please send it to anal chakra

[00:53:19] at hotmail dot com that's far better than what they actually have their anal chakra yes a snopes of

[00:53:25] course immediately said bonsai kittens are not real nobody's making them nobody selling equipment

[00:53:29] to help make them nobody is instructing people and quote the lost eastern art of stealing kids

[00:53:35] inside rectal in your jars cheese i wonder how many people that were

[00:53:40] part of these chain emails would be highly suspicious of taking a coca cola from a chinese man

[00:53:49] yeah because they're very quick to point out that he's japanese the the sedanimas

[00:53:55] or of the site which they don't know for sure nobody nobody actually knows who this sedanimas

[00:53:59] person is snopes does go in on this and i really appreciate their dedication to this

[00:54:05] because they go and say here's how would you have known the bonsai kittens set site was a satire

[00:54:12] despite it's lack of this is a joke banners emblazoned across it satire doesn't always announce itself

[00:54:18] as such some feel that would ruin its humor thank you snopes so in cases like this one dusts

[00:54:25] off the common sense it aims at the problem the process described as impossible animals so treated

[00:54:31] would die long before they could be molded the website offers no way to purchase the materials

[00:54:36] advertised a real commercial enterprise wouldn't build consumer interest and then fail to offer

[00:54:41] anything for sale the bonsai kittens site displays no actual pictures of the finished product

[00:54:50] the cruel dot com website offers an article entitled happiness is a rectal linear kitten

[00:54:57] a comprehensive history of the fure about this now lore knows if i can still yeah they don't

[00:55:03] they it's still not around it never got a snapshot out unfortunately but you know

[00:55:10] i'm sorry you can't tell that this was full of shit the minute you looked at it

[00:55:16] i immediately when i first saw this when i was a teenager realized like oh this is fake

[00:55:20] but like after about five or ten minutes i was like oh yeah this is this is a bit

[00:55:25] january 26 2001 this is we're going backwards i should have presented these in order that was my mistake

[00:55:32] the register bonsai kitten craze sweeps online world andrew smith after it being included as a

[00:55:40] novelty link of the day on blues news i think this is where all this furor really started there

[00:55:48] bountaikiton.com soon provoking an inevitable barrage of complaints someone hit an all-time low

[00:55:55] with a kitten page one reader invented that's fucking disgusting sick fox like that give the human

[00:56:02] race a bad name set another the bonsai kitten link is really poor taste i'm even more shame

[00:56:12] being a member of this species now for having seen it blues news soon remove the link the site

[00:56:19] administrator explain although personally i didn't find it offensive and yes i do have a cat

[00:56:25] obviously there are some of you that do and i'd rather not offend our readers it is a joke they say

[00:56:32] a convincing joke and uh run dot com apparently the new ho so they got kicked off of various

[00:56:39] places that they were hosted and so rotten dot com picked up the site and then hosting it

[00:56:46] and of course this person at the register then has to give a description of rotten dot com

[00:56:53] the new hose rotten dot com which routinely carries materials such as photos of autopsies and car

[00:56:57] accidents and like that's not even buddy that's not even scratching the surface see our previous

[00:57:02] episode on the subject has given bonsai kitten a permanent home quoting a message from the US

[00:57:07] humane society to ease worried minds quote when this site initially appeared in December

[00:57:12] a local humane organization did get involved on a local level in checking out this person but

[00:57:17] discovered no evidence of actual animal abuse having occurred so of course the register

[00:57:24] fact check that quote the humane society isn't quite as positive about the site as may appear

[00:57:29] the society's full announcement says that bonsai kitten depicts and encourages cat cruelty

[00:57:36] which it does not it doesn't a cat gets in a jar and like the the previous article said can get

[00:57:45] right out they also go into some weird divergence here and if you really want to delve into

[00:57:51] the net cedar site it said there are sites dedicated to one of the most bizarre one of the more

[00:57:56] bizarre sexual fetishes known as crush or stomp these sites carry pictures and videos of

[00:58:01] women usually bear foot and wearing or wearing stilettos or combat boots doing some decidedly

[00:58:06] unpleasant things to insects and rodents not really sure you never see a crush video now have

[00:58:16] seen a crush video and unfortunately have seen a crush video of the cat that that fucked with me

[00:58:23] I've only ever seen man's nuts sack it absolutely a delivery by some red still yeah I mean I'm

[00:58:28] style projects but I'm sorry you got to see some animal abuse yeah the animal abuse was

[00:58:34] unfortunately very rampant in the style project forums not yeah animal abuse is pre rampant on

[00:58:41] the air and until like recently yeah until there was like you can just it's light easier to go like

[00:58:47] on like Twitter and see a video of like a shoplift or get hit by a Buick or something yeah thankfully

[00:58:52] we're kind of getting past that part of the internet because that's always like I can handle

[00:58:56] whatever you do to a person because that's a person I feel like right there Anthony soprano

[00:59:04] well it's kind of why I identify with him as a character it's like do whatever to a person but

[00:59:09] like animals they don't they don't understand what's going on anyway sorry it's weird that they're

[00:59:15] like oh yeah and also crush videos and then the end the articles like what the fuck

[00:59:21] why did you have to bring that up what is going on here think geek not to be left out did have

[00:59:29] a Christmas ornament and a plush toy featuring a stuffed cat in a bottle they would sell

[00:59:40] for a while it says url bonsai kittens dot com even redirected to the think geek site

[00:59:46] that was amazing so we ever do we ever find out who was behind the website I still don't have a

[00:59:53] definitive answer other than those probably people at MIT yeah that's about all we have

[00:59:58] which is what just what a strange piece of the internet what a stupid joke to then have

[01:00:03] such a huge repercussion like fuck the humane society and the FBI are like this was just a stupid

[01:00:11] thing that we made up for the web like people took everything on the web so much more seriously

[01:00:17] every time I if I would see something like this and this was like I if I didn't know about bonsai

[01:00:21] cat if I saw this today and I can't as bullshit so maybe maybe we have come a little bit further

[01:00:27] in terms of being more skeptical of things we see although if you started talking to people about

[01:00:33] bonsai kitten on maybe like Facebook what if I told you the bill gates foundation okay in

[01:00:41] Africa okay we're strip mining resources so they could make bonsai kittens to teach d i

[01:00:51] to your children that's right yes they're gonna have gay weed abortions but this is a central

[01:00:57] it's the central thesis of fall the cabal part two electric boogaloo sure anytime that's a part

[01:01:07] two I just have append electric boogaloo on there because doon to electric boogaloo yes yes absolutely

[01:01:13] oh yes Simpson trialed to electric boogaloo well I mean he costs to oh no oh no

[01:01:20] is there gonna be a hot is there gonna be I don't know kind of feels kind of feels like

[01:01:25] there's one go right now yeah anyway see also chain layer compact I'm looking at the wiki p8 oh yeah

[01:01:35] yeah see compact come come Prachiko's I think foot binding yeah but yeah foot binding we know

[01:01:42] we know that that's that's an ancient Chinese practice lotus feet all that stuff impossible bottles

[01:01:49] that that's where an object is in a bottle and then it's like oh it couldn't fit through so the

[01:01:54] bottle has been manipulated in some way and then the square watermelon that is a thing that you can do

[01:01:59] with watermelon is that you can put them in a usually by them asia because they're like uh

[01:02:03] a watermelon is very expensive mm-hmm and a square watermelon is like really nice like housewarming gift

[01:02:10] or something yeah it's not it's not the kind that you would like hit with a bat and break as a summer

[01:02:17] thing this is more like you bring it as a nice thing for someone's housewarming I think I think

[01:02:22] this summer I'll get like a nice fucking watermelon hell yeah go town oh yeah I grilled them before

[01:02:30] I've never done that yeah put them on the grill for about like five minutes aside

[01:02:34] what caramelizes the sugar caramelizes the sugar so exactly right creates that little crusts on

[01:02:39] the outside oh man maybe pineapple does the same just if you just I've had real pineapple yeah peach I've

[01:02:45] done peaches with the little butter a little brown sugar in there apples the same I've done apples

[01:02:52] the same way you pour it and put all you want to do is grill I'm telling you man grill pill to ask

[01:02:59] I am telling you I am telling you did whether it was so nice this past week I made I made ribs

[01:03:05] I sent you a picture of ribs the ribs are my cool sick I'm sorry I had to show somebody I

[01:03:14] posted on the internet nobody responded to him like my line he's gonna appreciate this oh you

[01:03:19] should you should add Ed you know what I probably should have added you're right he would definitely

[01:03:24] he would he would be like it's a very nice bit of grilling you got there but yeah it's just

[01:03:29] been perfect weather and so I just been doing I'm doing grilling I got grilling on the brain man

[01:03:33] it's just it's I can't wait exactly for god's sake well I want to start talking about

[01:03:41] bonsai kittens because I don't know it just feels like a whole lot of nothing gosh I kind of

[01:03:47] wish people were still getting up in the arms about bonsai kittens instead of like trans kids or

[01:03:53] it's the woke stairs you know what talk about animal cruelty I can't look at fat tits anymore

[01:03:59] because of woke yeah you ruined my ability to enjoy a nice set of jugs like Jesus fuck

[01:04:07] look at him who cares she can't see you sorry it's fucking weird weird thing to take that look

[01:04:16] they can't judge you there when printed semulacra yeah a fibrous paper exactly doesn't matter

[01:04:26] all right Brian you ready to get really weird yeah we getting back to the horny part of the show

[01:04:32] we are getting back to the horny part of the show unfortunately it's not a horny thing that I

[01:04:35] enjoy but I'm sure someone out there does enjoy it it's shocked at jpeg

[01:04:48] and it's time for two guys one hole which was the original title of the show by the way

[01:04:55] best shockers used to host this bad boy best shockers went out of business a couple years back

[01:05:00] sadly so everything has to live on via the web archive of which we thank the folks at the internet

[01:05:06] archive for doing that courtesy the way back machine now unfortunately this ruins the surprise

[01:05:12] because in the description of the video you do see it says two guys one hole involves some gay

[01:05:18] anal fisting with a uterling theme thankfully it is very blurry what's your guy there good day out of your

[01:05:24] mouth god damn he's got the remote yeah a pitched up version of ring of fire Johnny cash just

[01:05:38] playing as uh trying to find something between the pillow yeah I should do the town he's digging

[01:05:44] down where my wallet go the guys look to the elbow yeah he's not he's not taking it lightly on

[01:05:49] this guy's hole he's looking for something and he has the rob hellford Judas priest hat on

[01:05:57] I know that's not actually where it originates from but every time I see that hat all I can think of is

[01:06:03] you got another thing coming like I know it's it's actually it has its origins in the fetish scene

[01:06:10] but every time I see that hat I see rob hellford and I keep thinking like I gotta have break it

[01:06:15] the law in the background I don't know one time I was at best by with my father okay and I was

[01:06:24] trying to figure out I had money by a CD mm-hmm I was probably like 16 or so 15 or 16 and I couldn't

[01:06:32] figure out if I wanted to buy wrist deal oh or Joe's garage by Frank Zappa for sure amount of

[01:06:41] record I'm going Joe's garage well I went with I went with juice priest sure my dad was so disappointed

[01:06:48] oh no and I think I think uh wrist deals a great record no it's a great record no question it's

[01:06:53] so many I mean living after midnight yeah grinder I mean this is so many great little songs on

[01:06:57] there and Joe's garage I mean Joe's garage does have Catholic girl Catholic girls it's got the

[01:07:04] fanbottom wet t-shirt why is it burn wide piee piee Lucille has messed my mind up and this is

[01:07:09] all side one let's see don't work for you to featuring the smothers brothers it's just I mean

[01:07:15] as a classic right yeah I listen to Joe's garage over Christmas break and uh I was like fuck man

[01:07:22] this is this is kind of amazing just the take these kind of really ridiculous lyrics and just put

[01:07:27] fucking jams to it like oh fucking ike Willis singing his ass off but you have the girls is

[01:07:33] absolutely fucking absurd song has won the best fucking breakdowns and oh

[01:07:44] yeah because they're doing a reprise of the uh Joe's garage

[01:07:53] I didn't realize yeah it's kind of a kind of going back to that moti yeah they they they cycle

[01:07:57] back to especially in the later stuff what they're doing like uh give me that cyborg don't

[01:08:03] get no jizum on that sofa so far he's he's singing in German to a sex robot don't come on my

[01:08:11] sofa you mean start with here's a garage bed and the end of the alphabet is he's jacking off

[01:08:19] with the robot like we can play in Joe's garage that's right his mama was screaming turn it down

[01:08:27] great record anyway yeah British steel still a good record though still great yeah well a lot shorter

[01:08:32] a lot shorter a lot shorter i had my music theory teacher in high school uh he went to

[01:08:37] cimo okay which for those of y'all who don't know is one of i think three party college yeah we've got

[01:08:46] a few like cimo Kirk'sville yeah and mazoo are all like party colleges every two time i meet someone

[01:08:53] that's a graduate of cimo i'm always like really fucking amazed and one of them is the vice president

[01:08:59] of the company i work for when you tell it when you tell me graduate for cimo god how the fuck that

[01:09:04] happened right i just know so many people regardless of their like smart or right you studious

[01:09:11] fail the fuck out of cimo just because it's just party yeah you know like did you like did you

[01:09:16] not like go parties like i went to fucking party and i'm like okay not enough but i'm just like

[01:09:24] i respect it yeah yeah i mean i know a few guys who graduated from cimo and not for lack of trying

[01:09:30] but he but he he graduated from cimo and uh he told us on saryne nightson it was nothing better to do

[01:09:37] that him and his roommates would have a joe's garage night it was implied that it just meant

[01:09:42] getting really fucking trash listening to joe's garage ain't no wrong with that which which sounds

[01:09:47] actually kind of tight yeah really ain't much to do in cape drodo no besides get trashed

[01:09:54] before we move on to the next bit just another cape dro Fun Fact is the last time or second

[01:09:59] the last time i stopped in cape drodo we got some to eat and route to new orlands because that's

[01:10:05] okay i have one natural stopping yeah yeah it's like cape drodo and then like Jackson yeah it's on

[01:10:11] the way yeah for sure we stop to get something right off the highway and one there's like there's two

[01:10:15] main exits off of the highway that they're like cape drodo exits and there was uh well it looked

[01:10:23] to be like a chinese buffet that had closed and the parking lot was a guy selling t-shirts and

[01:10:30] they were all like jail for hilly and stuff like that okay it was the first time i ever saw qAnon

[01:10:36] out in the wild outside the air in that and so that would have been like 2018 i was gonna say yes

[01:10:41] and i was also the time i was working in paneras corporate office that was like a month or two before

[01:10:47] there was an email spread around the the wire team that was a part of about how the customer

[01:10:55] service were getting phone calls and emails from weird conspiracy theorists because of rain Wilson

[01:11:02] yeah rain Wilson was a part of the pedophile cabal yeah set like the campfire fires in 2008

[01:11:09] oh boy well weird fucking time and like i just responded like oh yeah i've heard qAnon that's

[01:11:13] fucking weird and like never got it was i imagine that almost got forward probably someone hR that

[01:11:18] sky knows what qAnon is but like yeah it was a termally online weirdo yeah yeah 2017 is when qAnon

[01:11:25] started right because that was 2017 was when first bubbled up yeah but didn't really start penetrating

[01:11:32] people's fucking skulls and started being out in the world until like mid 2018 okay i want to say

[01:11:39] somewhere between like march and june of 2018 was probably what i first really heard about it

[01:11:45] and it was just like really being laughed off as like this weird word salad thing

[01:11:49] like because it sounded like all these fucking qAnon drops they all sounded like the fucking

[01:11:55] spam messages you would get like a word press site about like you know you know hot teens with

[01:12:00] wrestling flakes syndrome arrogant to you know leeks script shit and you're just like the fuck yeah

[01:12:07] very odd stuff yeah katerado this is fucking weird ass little town yeah it is at the last time i

[01:12:14] was in katerado seema related was actually picking up a fridamaian named joe and we were going

[01:12:21] to chicago to an anime convention did you have all the way to katerado all the way to katerado and then

[01:12:27] all the way back to then go to chicago yes he had no car i was his ride i drove there and then

[01:12:35] i drove chicago at that anime convention i met and talked to briefly the voice of osco in the

[01:12:43] the english dub free vangelian that was a tiffney grant nice lady who gonna sign some stuff for me

[01:12:50] it was really cool i was right about when end of vangelian was getting a home release on dbd

[01:12:56] so i got a few posters and um but yeah it was a weird i'm driving all this way to katerado

[01:13:03] and then back and then to chicago i barely want to drive that with my family now you know like oh

[01:13:09] well my girlfriend i are going to like luaville last month and like that's an easy four hour drive

[01:13:15] of five tops yeah yeah i mean that's about as much as i want drive at this moment like well in two

[01:13:23] weeks i'm going to uh myrtle beach myrtle beach i'm going to myrtle beach uh south kaira

[01:13:29] light up yes well that was a favorite spot of my grandparents again 13 hours yeah i'm driven there

[01:13:36] that's about what it took us to get to Louisiana so it's fine the merle beast is fine yeah

[01:13:41] it's a nice place to go with spring break for the kids we're going to do that

[01:13:44] well i swingers there in merle beach so avoid anything that has pineapples on it i got it all right

[01:13:51] yeah so i'm not telling you guys what to do but it's not our scene so two guys one whole

[01:13:57] very basic the joke is you're ever can i get can we make sure we all get rooms without the cuck chair

[01:14:03] yeah exactly yes thank you i want to make sure the mirror you can't see the bed

[01:14:08] through the through the mirror if you're in the closet nowhere uh so two guys one whole

[01:14:14] not really much there it's a guy getting fisted uh i mean by rob howford does what it says on the

[01:14:20] box yeah and it's the same thing we always say the joke is that they're gay the jokes is that they're gay

[01:14:27] that's it anyway god damn oh yeah you're ready for the breathman Brian i'm ready for the breathman

[01:14:35] y'all it's time for your mom's favorite part of the show it's time for the breathman

[01:14:42] so i know each of us saw a movie that we were very very excited to see this past week

[01:14:48] yeah how how was kung fu pan the four

[01:14:52] do you go do you go a skadoosh yes he did no i had not seen i would love to see jack plaque

[01:14:58] yeah absolutely get backed over by a fucking like street scene

[01:15:03] and a whole entire time he's just making weird sounds

[01:15:09] let me eat your pussy oh yeah that back just his death screams is it eat your pussy

[01:15:19] no i did not see kung fu pan the four a long awaited one that i've been waiting for a home video

[01:15:23] release on it's 16 no i've been waiting i'm gonna keep going and a long wait

[01:15:30] Jesus Christ you got me all fucked up yeah i got y'all fucked up

[01:15:33] hey tell what movie you saw i saw the movie called poor things Brian oh yes i heard great

[01:15:38] things about fan fucking tastic just about everything you want from a movie amazon career best

[01:15:47] mark ruffalo killing it you got willum defoe under all that prosthetics your ghost lathrim

[01:15:54] this is the first one of his movies i've seen but apparently i've been told by many people

[01:15:58] that his shit is my vibe and judging just by this one i'm like yeah pretty much

[01:16:04] yeah i really wanted to see poor things um so i've heard mostly good stuff about it for those of you

[01:16:09] who may not know about the movie it is essentially a modern day franken hooker

[01:16:14] uh i've also heard that yeah so a woman kills herself she's pregnant and so the the mad scientist

[01:16:23] it takes the baby's brain puts it in the woman's brain this new creature who he names bella backster

[01:16:29] is learning about life and everything uh and because it is a movie about life and everything it does

[01:16:35] actually include sex as a big thing of that a lot of sex in the movie the sex scene discourse people

[01:16:41] are going to have a field day with it and that's fine let them do their thing i'm gonna be over here

[01:16:46] enjoying probably one of them is stones better performances that i've ever seen which is

[01:16:52] might a few yeah i've seen a lot of movies with her in it and i got to say this one's

[01:16:58] it's a career best and i don't say that lightly this is someone who's seen a lot of her work

[01:17:03] and like yeah this is pretty much i don't want to give away too much because you did say you

[01:17:07] want to see it but i will say there's just certain moments with with mark rofalo kind of playing

[01:17:14] the pathetic version of your brando and streetcar so instead of you know him being like all ripped

[01:17:20] and passionate and being like stella he's pulling his hair out and he's like it's very much there's

[01:17:28] direct references it's very funny there's all just all sorts of weird jump ojune shit in there like

[01:17:35] the way they film certain scenes is like oh that's from city of lost children or like that's from

[01:17:41] yeah there's little bits that are like out of teri Williams brosil but it's just background

[01:17:46] shots no not like story wise but just like visuals that they kind of play with beautiful colors

[01:17:52] are just it's got painting every background it looks like it's a matte painting but it's not but

[01:17:57] it looks like it and yeah just everybody in it's it's fucking funny you gotta know my wife is a very

[01:18:04] particular movie goer she's a person for whom movies have to be either very funny or very very

[01:18:13] well constructed for her to call them great and she called this one great so she's she's much

[01:18:20] stricter on a movie than i am i'm willing to forgive a lot of things because i grew up watching

[01:18:26] vhs bullshit like extra two deaf come for extra two or killer clowns thank you killer clowns

[01:18:34] from outer space say i've watched some shit in my life the stuff you know what the stuff is actually

[01:18:40] a good movie but that's for another time uh i like it it is it that's like on the high end

[01:18:47] but this one she loved it as much as i did and it's definitely it's it's a horny movie but it's

[01:18:52] funny it's like it's got all that good stuff makes you do the feel good chemicals in your brain

[01:18:57] so that's that's the highest recommendation that i can give for a movie so if i had to go back

[01:19:03] and do our best of again i'd throw that in there because it did technically come out last year

[01:19:08] okay well that sounds great now you saw a movie you wanted to see yeah i did some shit from

[01:19:14] i was selfish as fuck hell yeah brother and my girlfriend that will go see it i offered you

[01:19:20] but your son's son your son was with it says it says right yeah yeah but i was like okay there's

[01:19:28] oh there's no sense like okay to me variables here yeah i want to make sure i get good seats

[01:19:35] now like you know i'm just gonna fucking do it yeah man so i was like fuck i'm just gonna see

[01:19:38] dude and by myself which is totally fine yeah and i had this great idea of like you know what

[01:19:44] like maybe taking that whole oh and i'm just gonna fucking get lost in the spice hell yeah but then

[01:19:52] my girlfriend got offered a 24 hour shift like a two-hour drive away with mileage and a five

[01:19:59] dollar an hour differential and i was i was just like yeah go make that money yeah yeah

[01:20:04] yeah like i like to and man make sure i had time to go take care of her or dog and all right

[01:20:08] it's fine like you know well i still had great fucking time beautiful day it was a little chilly

[01:20:14] when i went to the theater 10-3 by the time i was walking out which i want to say it was like one

[01:20:20] like it was a very beautiful day sunday it was like a highlight 76 10-3 in the am 10-3 knee yeah okay

[01:20:26] okay over there ronnie's uh i think it's the only place is showing uh i max yeah i did not see

[01:20:32] an i max screening i if you want to go see it yeah i would be interested for sure i'd be down

[01:20:37] to go see an i max screen it's not the 15 20 semi millimeter i max unfortunately that's only 12

[01:20:44] theaters in the world and yeah i think the closest one is Nashville sure but uh still i max screen um

[01:20:51] i saw up in heimer and the semi-millimeter i max and that was fucking pristine yeah that's what you're

[01:20:56] saying so uh doon two wow uh maybe i think probably the best movie going experience i have had

[01:21:05] since uncut gems and that was before the pandemic okay so well paced so well acted the movies are back

[01:21:13] Jason all the stars are here cinema cinema she's back baby mazansine you know you've got to meet

[01:21:23] the shallay you got chris for walking Austin butler from ununderstand Austin butler

[01:21:29] fucking is a fucking red in cell hell yeah all right from ed prime is that name the park i think

[01:21:36] that's what yeah yeah just a really great elisa laced oz in there oh for a hot second and she's

[01:21:41] great uh florins poe uh is in there holy cow florins poe and laced o in the same movie no wonder no

[01:21:49] wonder you had to go and they do share a scene together and even better even better one of the

[01:21:55] scenes they share together is actually shot on a repurposed old russian lens i believe it's a helios 44

[01:22:05] two and there is a company in the uk i just read an article about this is a company in the uk that

[01:22:10] actually took these old film camera lenses yeah and put them in modern uh not just mounts but actually

[01:22:16] re re-breed did the casing oh wow for people that know a lot of high end theater or movie lenses are

[01:22:24] so expensive that you rent them from a company you don't like like war brothers maybe own some stuff

[01:22:29] you're basically renting them from from production houses yeah and this is a production house in

[01:22:35] europe wow and that's like one of their specialties is that they have these these old vintage

[01:22:39] let camera lenses so they rebuild this lens just for this movie not for this movie but it's a thing

[01:22:44] that you can get you can rent from them oh wow so they're using like this i can't remember the format

[01:22:50] that shot it's probably like super seven or something the helios 44 two is a copy of a

[01:23:02] i want to say is icelens or lykellens i can't remember top my head but it's a russian reproduction

[01:23:08] of something that was much much more expensive made in germany or some shit but has a very interesting

[01:23:14] bokeh that i'll focus and they're very soft the scenes that most of uh christler walkin scenes

[01:23:22] and florist post scenes i believe are shot with these lenses um they have a very they do have a

[01:23:27] different image the quality of the picture to the rest of the movie because the rest of the

[01:23:32] movie can be very color corrected in everything ed prime is all shot in infrared black and white

[01:23:39] so it's really interesting they'll use just such an interesting filmmaker i've been a fan of his

[01:23:45] since i saw arrival i like arrival whether or not you like i know aesthetically had lots of very

[01:23:52] interesting things going on i think it's one of the dumbest endings in in any movie i've ever seen

[01:23:57] that's debatable but the principle of the thing is i became a fan of his after seeing that movie and

[01:24:04] it's been fascinating watching what he's chosen to do and the fact that he's taking on doom

[01:24:10] as this massive project is like oh i'm watching a fucking master at work here oh no uh

[01:24:17] rivals okay this guy's really interesting and then i heard he was doing blade runner and i was

[01:24:22] actually really disappointed here that this is a guy doing blade runner the guy that like

[01:24:27] arrival the put put in the perspective that last line arrival i actually cackled like and the

[01:24:33] kerboppel in the field yeah all right well this is like it was like i remember like walk out like

[01:24:39] you ever you ever see a movie that made you realize you just wasted your time just because of how

[01:24:43] it ended i don't agree about that one but i get what you're saying yes it would have been better

[01:24:48] if she had farted like oh man she held that in the whole movie the whole

[01:24:54] yeah she felt so comfortable yeah let that ripe one rip i just think that script had some issues

[01:25:01] fair enough uh fair enough but the principle of the thing is you can see like okay these giant

[01:25:07] pieces of black rice have descended from the sky and somehow he made it look like this is terrifying

[01:25:14] actually yeah like um but blade runner uh 249 i think is fantastic yeah i really enjoyed the

[01:25:21] first dude movie i actually prepared myself to have to watch the pets sorry and i did rewatch

[01:25:26] the original dude movie on max and i was like yeah this is fucking great yeah i it's the only second

[01:25:31] time i watched it the first time i watched it was what first debuted on HBO max i'm running years ago

[01:25:37] and before yeah that's right before the name changed jesus i think i still might have been HBO

[01:25:42] go back then oh guys oh like fuck man this is good i'm psyched though in the second viewing like

[01:25:47] oh there's some shortcomings like the harkens as i said harkon like really don't have a lot to do

[01:25:55] yeah it's it's he says like yeah and i hate to say the bit they're table setting

[01:26:00] they're table saying sure but i'm also sorry to say that david teases kind of i almost feel like

[01:26:04] he's wasted in this just as much as jason mamboa was wasted is dunkin iho like i just don't

[01:26:12] those are one two things i would nitpick sure both those movies it's some some people discern

[01:26:17] you use as well like yeah but he's his character and i have not read the books oh okay i don't know

[01:26:24] if he's so one note in the books but it's just like really it's just like i'm bad like

[01:26:29] yeah it's basically i want i want to find the space manager pretty much yeah i mean that's

[01:26:35] in the in the original novel yeah that's that's he's he's he's he's he's he's pissed at the

[01:26:48] atreides family for reasons that are unclear and that that's just the whole character motivation

[01:26:53] in the book so yeah also because the trees forefather betrayed the harkonians or something

[01:27:00] there's some shit that goes on three books deeper that i have never gone and investigated but i

[01:27:06] just know that like in dune in the book that they're all that these films are sourced on

[01:27:13] there's not a lot of reasoning behind he's just mad he's given it to you as it is on the page

[01:27:19] like if this is just he's just he's just amazing man guy yeah and everything's so well shot

[01:27:27] the casting is so interesting the set design the costumes Rebecca Ferguson is as the as the mom

[01:27:35] yeah just the the way that the plot is woven and you start seeing these little seeds get planted

[01:27:43] very early on but then you get reintroduced some of these things very early on in part two

[01:27:50] and seeing these things grow and seeing how Paul resigns himself to this terrible fate like he feels it

[01:27:58] i'm not sure if it's expressed in the book but it's almost like he he realizes he can't fight it

[01:28:02] yeah yeah i think even like he has these visions he knows what terrible things are going to happen

[01:28:07] but he he doesn't know how to avoid it it's almost like when Herbert was writing the book he was

[01:28:12] really thinking about like the okay well that's it but the myth of edipus like the edipus is told

[01:28:18] his fate and so he does everything he can to fight it but in this version i know what's coming

[01:28:26] and i feel powerless to stop it as opposed to i'm trying everything i can't to avoid right because

[01:28:30] there's a lot of stuff that goes on where it's outside of his direct control I mean most of it's

[01:28:36] some mechanizations of his mother and the religious sort of that she follows yeah the Beninges are

[01:28:41] it or whatever however they say that i forget how that's actually i knew how to say until you said it

[01:28:48] but i mean it's just like little things like you know Florence Poe she's British but she's

[01:28:53] she's using the American flag American accent like she did and uh mid summer summer yeah

[01:28:59] Christopher walkins not really hamming up i know already kind of whoa wow it's

[01:29:04] shy hello the sleeper awakens that's your father's ring i hope it wasn't anyone's ass

[01:29:14] oh yeah yeah yeah yeah there's just got to tell me wasn't was in your ass who does he play

[01:29:21] I don't know you're placing emperor oh which is like we're because the emperor is this kind of

[01:29:25] like a guy from long island yeah yeah well he's always been presented as just like a figurehead

[01:29:31] he's not really the the power behind the throne has always been our cone ends and so like yeah that's

[01:29:36] a whole thing and he's a he's a guy he's just a guy it's like a fucking two and a half three-hour movie

[01:29:44] never dragged it's really yes oh the movie theater experience like I don't think unless you had

[01:29:51] like a really nice home theater could get anything comparable of just being in this giant screen

[01:29:57] they have these huge speakers have all the sounds swelling around you the be able to see all

[01:30:03] this detail the sea all of there's so much expressive stuff um I think they would get lost even on

[01:30:10] like a good 4k tv sure i just really can't stress just how well it flow because you know because

[01:30:17] it's the middle right the middle movie of a trilogy and the last third of the movie I just kept

[01:30:23] feeling like oh fuck they're gonna end it right here and it's gonna be a crappy flafinger no

[01:30:27] they took you all the way all way to why believe is a natural end of the first book

[01:30:33] hmm set up a good cliffhanger much better cliffhanger than the first part yeah that definitely had an odd

[01:30:40] ending it's like your journey is just be I can't remember what it actually was said

[01:30:44] yeah they got characters played by that guy from no country-world men you some uh uh uh

[01:30:50] javier a heavier uh bar deen yes yes who doesn't even it doesn't really look like him

[01:30:56] because i'm not used to seeing him like with a beard and like hair yeah yeah yeah because even in

[01:31:01] mother he's pre swav look yes well clean shavin in that yeah for sure but um he's he gives

[01:31:07] one the best performances of the film I love him so i'm very excited that's that's great

[01:31:12] it's just it's just so much it's fun like it's a blockbuster movie it's a spectacle

[01:31:17] but there's so much intention um an artistry i mean it's like talking about seven where

[01:31:22] there feels like hmm like we were talking with wacknickelson what makes this movie feel special

[01:31:27] that there does seem to be so much intentionally there's so much work and i feel like that's

[01:31:32] missing and i it's one of those things where um i always feel bummed about the the ghosts in the shell

[01:31:38] live adaptation because there really was so much care that whiteout put into those special facts

[01:31:43] scojo people bitched about her not being Asian in the movie i'm like but that's then

[01:31:49] it's a shell that that's not macoto's physical self that's just a body like

[01:31:56] she's playing it like that like there's a whole thing going on and there's a there's a weird

[01:32:02] thing at the end that ties all around i'm like they could done that better but like i don't

[01:32:08] it's not a bad movie it has the thing it's like it's not a bad movie it's okay it does some it has

[01:32:15] some great action scenes like yeah it's one of those things that was it was damned before it was

[01:32:21] even born yeah because you have such an amazing source material to work from that they did a bunch

[01:32:26] of shit that was just shot for shot from the original movie and but they did like their own

[01:32:31] thing on it like they they did its own their own flair no i understand that what i'm saying is

[01:32:35] like the source material is so good there's not much room for improvement and deviation and

[01:32:41] that anytime that you would do an improvement or a change on it the fans of the original material

[01:32:47] are gonna be like well that's different yeah and different is bad apparently but you know

[01:32:52] say what you will about Scarlett Johansson's performance in that which i thought it was

[01:32:56] appropriate i thought it i thought it worked but i mean it's a great adaptation

[01:33:01] of an amazing piece of material that you're working with and so like it doesn't have to be perfect

[01:33:06] you know what i mean because they even included an ending that kind of rift on some stuff from the

[01:33:12] two seasons of tv that came after yeah well like so the robot geisha or gisha that's from uh

[01:33:20] that's from two isn't it i think so yeah it's from the second movie um

[01:33:26] and they i think they did a riff on the convenience store scene from two as well but if i

[01:33:31] try to remember i haven't seen it is amazing how much people have forgotten them

[01:33:36] that movie exists it's like the last two seasons of Game of Thrones yeah

[01:33:41] dune part two fucking go see it go see in the theaters go see if you can see an iMacs

[01:33:47] probably see an iMacs i only saw on super screen which was still fine like still

[01:33:51] i was gonna say it's pretty big still it's still a very good viewing experience don't give me

[01:33:55] wrong and then the other thing that i was gonna bring up uh breathment wise was gonna be

[01:34:00] another sequel spider-man two for the ps5 uh-spire man still that guy's pizza

[01:34:09] so spider-man two for the ps5 um unfortunately this is gonna be a do not recommend

[01:34:15] especially if you've played the first one and the miles maralus stand alone dlc type of game

[01:34:22] because it's it's it's that it's just that again i don't know

[01:34:29] something about it i can't buy but at this time around i don't know what it is

[01:34:34] but for some reason it's just not hitting it's not hitting the same

[01:34:39] it could be that i'm coming off of two different persona games you know coming off of a

[01:34:44] three reload and then five tattaka there's a lot of handholding when you're starting because

[01:34:49] it's assuming that you've never played an insomniac marvell spider-man game yeah so that sucks

[01:34:56] this story's fine i guess uh cravin the hunter shows up in new york and starts hunting down all

[01:35:03] the iconic spider-man villains and so now you have to save the bad guys from cravin the hunter

[01:35:09] cool but then it also has harry osborne becoming venom they're trying to put too much

[01:35:17] it's spider-man three the same ramie spider-man three syndrome they're trying to cram too much into it

[01:35:22] because the first game was mr. negative that was the main you had a few appearances by some other

[01:35:28] minor villains but yeah tassmaster was in it electro was in a brief fight scene and vulture was

[01:35:36] there was a few of the rogue's gallery but it wasn't this feels like a sprawling mess

[01:35:43] and they're trying to do too much and they have you playing missions as both peter ad miles

[01:35:51] double the amount of story missions because peter has his missions miles as his i start i'm

[01:35:57] staring down the barrel like 30 hours of this game and i'm like this is i'm not feeling it man do you

[01:36:03] do you feel like there's an appropriate amount of puddles though

[01:36:09] puddles next gen fantastic love it except but there is that gta five thing where you can

[01:36:16] add a touch of maybe two buttons which from one carry together and they're across town

[01:36:22] and it's seamless it just goes and that's fine you know there's fucking mini games

[01:36:31] i don't know man we did this already didn't we i'm never playing any of the

[01:36:38] insomnia expiring games i watched a friend's husband play miles maralus and the first

[01:36:44] the ps4 spire man i'm like oh this is really pretty and like the combat looks really good

[01:36:50] and you know i hate it the first one is so good and damn near perfect as far as like a gaming

[01:36:56] experience goes that trying to do it again feels almost like you don't really i don't need to do

[01:37:03] this again i've played this and it was great right and and what are we horizon zero done had

[01:37:10] that same problem when they had a sequel for bitten west yeah man people it was more of the same

[01:37:17] but unfortunately the first game was so good yeah the first one is fantastic the first one was so good

[01:37:24] that anytime you you're gonna try to follow that up it's gonna be disappointing somehow and i'm

[01:37:30] feeling that same way about spiderman too it's an insomnia expiring game is more the same

[01:37:35] but i'm also going okay and sure i don't know it could just be me i could just be coming off

[01:37:43] with a jrpg vibe and i've got to take a little time to recalibrate played foam stars that kind

[01:37:50] of sucked i heard it's like got some weird tone issues the gameplay isn't bad but there's like

[01:37:58] uh like there's like some basically so something don't be racist in the team chat yeah listen

[01:38:05] listen you son listen you son of a bitch i will say whatever i want in the team chat well

[01:38:12] maybe not me but i will you know i will hear people say things that they want in the team chat

[01:38:17] it's not multiplayer game on a console if people aren't seeing the most

[01:38:20] uh pop absolutely bonkers shit yeah and but it's also trying to be like a splatoon type of deal

[01:38:28] but with foam uh it just doesn't work this is something about it is off

[01:38:34] and you can really see the joints you can kind of see the yeah i heard the stories weird too i saw

[01:38:40] some stuff so whatever there is i think characters realizing she can create foam oh in like

[01:38:44] in the body like a like a puberty analog yeah are like having like your first period yeah it's like

[01:38:51] foaming and i'm just like i don't need this i don't need to know this no there's a person

[01:38:56] who has a foam deviant art shit i don't need it in the video game it's all you need

[01:39:02] this here's a foam gun and foam stuff with it yeah i don't need to think about anything deeper in

[01:39:09] that no no and they even go so far as like we don't call them kills in this game

[01:39:17] you're just sending your enemy to chill it's called chills

[01:39:23] yeah i heard i listen stupid i listen to the guys on laser time talking about this a couple weeks ago

[01:39:29] boy boy they were all just being like really wanting to like this game yeah i feel the same

[01:39:34] splatoon i don't know why the craier of this game is getting mad on twitter that people are

[01:39:39] comparing this game to splatoon because like it's fucking it's a pretty fucking thick yeah it's

[01:39:44] it's not there's no question in my mind yeah as soon as i saw it i said oh yeah this is

[01:39:49] splatoon clown it's not exactly because you're not painting you you can actually create like

[01:39:55] yeah you can create hills and stuff you can use that to actually get the certain parts of levels

[01:39:59] just kind of need or whatever but it's not i basically why i heard that like there's only two or

[01:40:04] three game modes are a little limited like three maps yeah it's not that great i mean the finals

[01:40:10] only has like three or four maps but finals has fucking gameplay though yeah and also variations and

[01:40:18] yeah every time i hop back in i'm like man still still good i wish there was more looks good

[01:40:24] something whatever they did whatever engine they're in that just it's also i've found out

[01:40:28] it's a lot of people that worked on the battlefield games oh that makes sense then yeah i got one last

[01:40:33] thing yeah so i had some insomnia earlier in the week just trying to find something like maybe they'll

[01:40:38] make me reset the clock and fall back asleep tried reading it's fucking around the air in that i'm

[01:40:44] like no fuck it whatever so i sat in front of the tv nothing nothing streaming that really caught my

[01:40:50] eye and while i can't find anything i'm just like fuck it disney plus what's okay people watch the old

[01:40:56] simpsons and i'm like you know what fuck it i'll watch the marvels okay oh one of those things too

[01:41:02] is like it's just how dumb the culture war has gotten because uh i didn't think it was a terrible movie

[01:41:07] it wasn't like mind blowing it wasn't fantastic but i was like i wasn't bored no i think moves at

[01:41:13] a brisk pace for sure the brisk pace like it has a better tone than most marvel movies um

[01:41:19] um i was like why were people i mean i can see why like it wasn't great in the box office but

[01:41:27] i think it's because samuel and jaxson says the words black girl magic one time

[01:41:31] they're the way in where he says it is a little cringe yeah but i mean that's that's

[01:41:36] nick fury he can be a little cringe it's fine no but aside from like some of the some of that stuff

[01:41:43] like it was i mean yeah it's the samuel jackson is nick fury and he's chewing the fucking scenery as

[01:41:49] always he's having a great time like young lady the place come all the cons great i mean like there's

[01:41:54] just so much like little stuff like this is why this is like a fun i don't have to think too hard

[01:42:00] yeah but i also don't feel like it's insulting me the stuff they did with the power swapping

[01:42:06] was like some of those scenes were really funny it's just fun to watch and the musical planet

[01:42:11] that was gonna say the bollywood plan was like really fucking funny i get felt like something that

[01:42:17] was left over from you know uh ragnarok like the tone wise yeah but it worked it worked and i

[01:42:25] was like i don't i don't hate this it's not my favorite comic book movies not the worst it was fun

[01:42:31] yeah it's like yeah it was half the time when i see these movies i don't understand what all

[01:42:36] the fuss is about that's the same reaction like what is what are we why people hate this yeah like

[01:42:41] it's it's not terrible it's actually kind of fighting it's fun yeah it's a confection it's it's a light

[01:42:48] little little yeah it's something some of the fucking non yeah yeah i mean i i heard it wasn't that good

[01:42:55] from people like who's opinions i kind of trusted yeah even as far as comic book movies go and i

[01:43:00] watch it i'm like i don't i don't see it it's not worsen is it worsen age of ultra on

[01:43:07] it's about 45 minutes shorter yeah that's a point in its favor honestly i forget that movie exists

[01:43:14] yeah i'm not i'm not you're not being flippant now yeah comic book movie fan but like i usually can't

[01:43:20] remember like civil war yeah it has some really great moments when our soldier we're soldiers fun

[01:43:26] i'm in three if you could tell where soldier they still didn't really have the tone right now i felt

[01:43:32] like that could been a much better it was fun but it could be a much better movie there's the bones

[01:43:38] of like a cold war thriller in there but i don't think they went far enough i think there's a few

[01:43:44] scenes especially early on that they could have really if it was anyone other than the Russo

[01:43:49] brothers helming that one that maybe we could have gotten something a bit more i don't know i

[01:43:55] not necessarily i station zebra but something cold war jacent you know something a little bit more

[01:44:00] paranoid i feel the black widow kind of got some of that better oh absolutely in florist poop again

[01:44:08] how does she keep doing it how does she keep getting away with it exactly he's exactly right

[01:44:15] the florist pew uh say i'm a gay florist

[01:44:22] um well who else was in that um from stranger things what is his name the big guy yeah

[01:44:27] it plays the hopper but yeah he was in the movie that everyone forgot about exactly i don't

[01:44:34] even know what movie time was so yeah he's a hellboy hellboy okay yeah i was like i know it's

[01:44:40] hell something i was blanking out well you're i mean it's the same thing with like when you're trying

[01:44:45] to remake ghost in the shell you're trying to remake hellboy which gilmo del Toro got right the first time

[01:44:52] yeah and the second hellboy we so much fucking fun yeah i mean the shame there wasn't a third

[01:44:58] i kind of feel like they could have just kept making the hellboy and and some of Blair having their

[01:45:02] little Zion Zionist hell spawn baby you think they would have recast her in the third one

[01:45:14] and just like no this is like a weird little red baby with a stone fist and pyro power is telling me

[01:45:20] there was a ceasefire on that before we get into the end of the episode i want yeah i want to give

[01:45:27] my hot take about oh going on the milady which is that you know what we should stop dropping aid

[01:45:34] and gaza okay and what we really should do is he's just pushed John feather my

[01:45:40] and the gaza see how he fucking likes it let him do it right there see try to post your fucking

[01:45:46] simpsons gifts now you mother fucker let him deal with it yeah yeah let's see how you like it

[01:45:56] oh boy all right you can't go be so free to your rockabilly wife now well this is as you said this

[01:46:04] is about the time the show where we tell people where to find us online if they want to tell me that

[01:46:09] my opinion on the ghost and the shell movie is wrong well you can just keep that to yourself

[01:46:14] Brian working they tell you things if you also want to talk about bad air in that discourse about

[01:46:20] movies and performers and stuff you can find me on social media most social media platforms either

[01:46:28] iShotkey board ishotiguid or ad or a music photographer if you want to check out some

[01:46:36] photos my portfolio it's asshole music photographer hey hey check out some photos with words

[01:46:43] a music photographer calm photographing maddie dies when i off Broadway oh yeah so i'm maybe

[01:46:50] I'll have something up by then i don't have my fucking blonde right head stuff finished because

[01:46:54] life's been a little fucking hectic but hopefully that will be up by the time this episode is live and

[01:46:59] maybe maybe the maddie's stuff will be up by then we'll see across my fingers uh blonde

[01:47:04] right head stuff's gonna be over in the arts stl dot com it's the last only good me a website left

[01:47:09] in st. Louis god help us we're trying the fucking keep the dream alive so give us some clicks great

[01:47:15] little review of uh dune two uh the eat me in st. Louis article which is great uh yes apparently

[01:47:23] they're selling posters with the sandwiches hell yeah i respect that we are we are a big sandwich

[01:47:28] loving ass town here in st. Louis for sure as i like about us you know what put it between two

[01:47:33] pieces of bread fuck it fuck it i'll eat it you got to eat man's guy he has got to eat mr. lehi

[01:47:41] damn right damn right Jason yes and they harass you until you're gay uh well you can tell me uh

[01:47:49] any number of things that uh video crime that's most websites that are gonna have an option

[01:47:55] well it's video crime for me including uh twitter letterbox blue sky etc with the exception

[01:48:01] notably of tiktok and instagram and those places i am laser goose c.e.o that's laser with an s

[01:48:08] because i know how to spell it you can find the show for eight minutes dogs barking dot com

[01:48:14] shoot us an email jason at four eight minutes of dogs barking dot com or brim with a why at four

[01:48:19] eight minutes of dogs barking dot com that's right and you can also give us a phone call divas of

[01:48:26] voicemail or send us a text three one four two four six nine seven six six that's three one four

[01:48:31] a hoi poo and support the show patreon.com slash four eight minutes of dogs the challenge is still

[01:48:39] out there it's still fucking life ten bucks mother fuckers put on the fucking barrel and we'll

[01:48:43] watch some people puke for an hour and a half we will watch uh pukeying and fucking in a video

[01:48:49] called garo monster home delivery if we get to ten supporters we have one we have one one

[01:48:57] one support so far you know who that is it's yeah you're gonna flip from the top

[01:49:02] supporter of the show from day one by the way we gotta love that we gotta

[01:49:06] absolutely right or die we appreciate you big ups Kim thank you

[01:49:13] i got that email and i was like really okay you want you want though you want there's some

[01:49:17] scheming here okay okay because apparently girlfriend's mom told my girlfriend you know

[01:49:23] we could create i'm paraphrasing here i maybe miss morim miss morim miss remembering it

[01:49:29] i'm drinking now a whole beer how can i be i'm the one drinking bud light i wish

[01:49:34] all beer i'm drinking near beer yeah anyways like you know you can make ten email accounts and ten

[01:49:42] patreon accounts they really want to see us suffer as what we're saying yeah i really

[01:49:48] with i mean i'm like thinking there's so many people out there that i think that dislike me

[01:49:53] that if they knew that if ten of them or nine of them in this case yeah got ten bucks a piece

[01:49:58] together it's ninety dollars yeah i'm fair in time that even that like there's people out there

[01:50:04] they're probably mad that i was out of boarville show ten years ago yeah fuck this guy here's

[01:50:10] 10 bucks yeah i mean like yeah i just think about all the people that hold like i was like telling

[01:50:17] my new therapist is like you know i try to keep my shit written in shock some of these mother

[01:50:22] fuckers kept it written in fucking permitting right it's just it's really nice i've had two therapists

[01:50:27] and two years and they're both like maybe she leaves st. Louis doesn't seem like you're happy

[01:50:31] here i'm like a fucking trying fucking trying the circumstances he is from circumstances i

[01:50:40] know i'm certainly a man from circumstances but anyways yes ninety fucking dollars ninety

[01:50:44] dollars fucking get together your roots let's go babies i have not vomited at a long time yeah it's

[01:50:51] time i want to be my own grow home delivery it's up for grabs i guess is the phrase i should

[01:50:59] get you uh have you downloaded the torrent you know i i will i'm on the advice of council i will

[01:51:05] not speak further on this matter but whatever i'll say what i'm also we'll say is that jay

[01:51:11] list does have some stuff anyway um i'm gonna buy up can't even get off crunchy roll no

[01:51:18] crunchy roll will not carry it but but country country country roller you can buy like rape

[01:51:24] player or whatever like you know fifteen years used to be able to yes and we'll get on the

[01:51:28] little streaming soapbox here for a hot second as apparently like everything else one company buys

[01:51:34] another company and then they decide that you know what we're gonna make the product worse and then

[01:51:39] charge you more money oh yeah so apparently a lot of people that have crunchy roll subscriptions are

[01:51:43] very upset and fun may be subscriptions for different reasons but there it's getting more expensive

[01:51:49] and the services getting worse yeah you know what fuck this country as a failed experiment i

[01:51:55] you know what i much prefer that when when anime came on four dollar tapes or shit that you

[01:52:01] dubbed at your friend's house when you guys are smoking out of a fucking gritty bonk then all

[01:52:05] the folders can in a wine ball at least as far as cost goes i'll i'll take the current state but

[01:52:11] yeah i get what you're saying um two episodes per tape for fucking forty dollars are you

[01:52:17] shitting me yeah um sorry i just i'm not the fuck are you serious yeah

[01:52:29] rhyme the one half for four thousand fucking dollars are you serious i uh show them jump your ass

[01:52:36] yes we always say at this time namaste good luck eat the knife and give mommy a good gut fucking

[01:52:44] and don't forget to floss yeah anyway have a good night